Moonlight's Shadow
by Silenti Aspicientis
Summary: Post D/H. Eighth-year. After a disastrous meeting with a mysterious stranger, Hannah Potter unexpectedly finds herself in desperate need of help and guidance from her most hated professor. Unexpected patience, perseverance and potent potions transform intense hatred into unlikely love. Follows canon excluding epilogue. Fem!Harry. Snarry.
1. My Days Among The Dead Are Past

Chapter One

My days amongst the dead are past

The decision to return to Hogwarts was one of the easiest decisions Hannah Potter had made in eighteen years of life. _Time_ , she decided, was now on _her_ side and not plotting _against_ her. Time to sort her head out after the horrific events of the previous year. Time to complete her education and to feel that she deserved a place within her chosen career. Time to mourn the loss of the fallen. Time, perhaps to discover what life could be, if only she had the chance to be _just Hannah_. Just Hannah in a world without madmen who held too much stock in fairy stories and the validity of charlatans. After her hectic life, there was nothing she wanted more than _time_ , so that she could experience a normal life without mad-men intent on conjuring grand schemes to murder her at least once a year.

While there was no denying that the Auror department would have taken her in for training immediately, even if it was just for the good publicity alone, Hannah had decided to give herself a year to recover from the mental and physical stresses of the war. The Ministry had a lot to make up for, and Hannah didn't know if she was ready to forgive and forget just yet. Besides, roughing it in the woods for a few months and getting lucky with 'expelliarmus' against the world's most powerful of mad-men who, luckily, had only the fragment of a soul already evicted from the realm of the living, coupled with a wand working in favour of his opponent – would _not_ cut it against your average dark wizard.

Longing for some semblance of ordinary, or at least as ordinary as one can be as a witch – Hannah had returned to Hogwarts to experience a quiet year, ready to take on the 'Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests.' After all, she knew school and exams could hardly be as exhausting as her experiences the previous year. Hermione could probably have passed her N.E.W.T.s alongside her O.W.L.s, but Hermione and Ron had also decided to return, perhaps echoing the general sentiments of Hannah herself. Hannah's miraculous return from Kings Cross Station could now fulfil another purpose; she was going to _live_.

Almost a whole month had passed since their return, and Hannah found herself contemplating her previously least favourite teacher. The insufferable and infuriating man had become her most respected and trusted teacher of all since revealing his memories in May. Despite _knowing_ Snape was dead, upon Voldemort's demise, rushing to the shrieking shack had immediately breached the forefront of her mind. When she arrived with Ron and Hermione close at her heels, a truly miraculous scene was before her. Severus Snape was sat leaning against the wall, clearly exhausted and in severe pain but still clinging just about clinging to life. Giant snake anti-venom, essence of dittany and blood replenishing potions were, apparently, essential cloak pocket snacks for potion making Death Eaters on the go. Despite his fervent protestations, they'd helped him get back to the castle where he was immediately assisted by an overworked Madam Pomfrey who never took no for an answer and practically forced the man into bed at the makeshift hospital ward. Remarkably, with copious amounts of his infamous Snapey snark and all of two days of exceptionally reluctant bed rest, Snape was back to his usual cheery self for the weekend. He'd even been able to assist the other teachers in repairing the extensive damage inflicted upon Britain's oldest magical architectural masterpiece that was Hogwarts castle.

Letting go of her old hatred had been hugely liberating, and Hannah admitted to herself that a huge debt of gratitude was owed to the man for his part in the war. His devotion to protecting his most hated student in the name of love lost had left her with a sense of awe and respect for a man who had sacrificed the best part of twenty years in repayment for transgressions now two decades past.

Rather embarrassingly she had recently found herself somewhat physically attracted to the man. It was a feeling that had only intensified over the past few weeks of lessons as she realised he seemed to have little interest in torturing her since they'd returned after the holidays. True, he had not suddenly turned into a cheery, happy-go-lucky kind of man, but his lessons were no longer full of the torment, snide remarks and outright cruelty they used to be. She couldn't say that she particularly liked him, but she had to admit her attitude towards him had completely changed, and she couldn't help but watch him with interest. His demeanour had changed too, and she found herself musing on what had inspired him to stop bullying every student in sight with glee. Perhaps, deep down he was never really unkind to begin with and had no choice but to prioritise his image. After all, he needed to lower the number of outright lies he would tell the dark lord. Perhaps now that the daily stresses of either knowing the dark lord _would_ return or, in later years, actually having to face him every other day had begun to fade, he was free to act like a normal human being for the first time in nearly twenty years. She wondered if he just couldn't be bothered anymore, and had grown tired of tormenting wizarding youth. Or perhaps, she thought, she should just mind her own bloody business and be grateful for his newfound lack of interest in tormenting her.

One breakfast morning towards the end of September, Hannah once again found herself shamelessly staring at the formidable Professor, assessing his features. Somehow he looked more youthful now, and though perhaps not traditionally handsome, he certainly had a face that was interesting to behold now that it was no longer permanently creased in a scowl or sneer. When he inevitably felt her gaze and stared back in obvious agitation with a creased brow and a slight frown, her cheeks blushed scarlet, and she quickly turned away.

"Are you listening? The Herbology essay on Aconite? Did you bother to finish it?" Hermione asked exasperatedly, interrupting Hannah's quiet contemplation.

"Oh…no. I dunno why she set an essay on _Aconite_. No potion any of us could ever brew uses _that_. It's not even going to be on our exam, is it? I can't imagine anyone other than Neville growing that useless stuff." Her distracted eyes were still flickering to and from the head table, and she was only giving Hermione about half of her attention.

"Well, that doesn't mean you can just forget about it… _right_ ," Hermione said firmly, now clearly irritated with Hannah's distracted state. "I've had enough of this! What's so interesting about Professor Snape? Every time I look at you-you're staring at him. In lessons, at meal times and even when we pass him in the corridors, he's almost certainly already noticed, and it's kind of..."

"Unnatural, creepy and frankly gross. Don't you think it's a bit… weird? Seriously, anyone would think you fancied him or something!" Ron interrupted, but promptly shut up at the look Hermione gave him and resumed eating the huge plate of sausages he apparently called breakfast. A girl in the third-year sat nearby gave Hannah a look of shocked disgust, before moving further down the table, clearly not even wanting to think about the dreaded Professor in such a way.

Momentarily unable to do anything except blush in embarrassment, Hannah tried to explain her fascination to herself, but failed. In all honesty, she just didn't know why she had developed such an interest in the one Professor that hated her. She accepted that he was an interesting, loyal and intelligent man she owed her life to, but she was _not_ ready to admit that she had formed a crush on him even to herself, never mind to her friends and especially not right in the middle of the great hall. Still, she had to admit that her fellow students held no interest for her whatsoever, at least not romantically. While she knew that many of them had been through hell over the past year or so, none of them could possibly understand the things she had experienced in her hectic upheaval of a life. Their relative ignorance and inexperience seemed to be putting her off, and she couldn't help but see them as children. Perhaps _that_ was the appeal the older man held for her. He had definitely experienced too much pain in his life and was probably one of the only people in the room she could ever hope to truly _know_ her. _If_ he was so inclined, she thought reluctantly. Still blushing, but knowing Hermione was expecting some kind of satisfactory answer, she eventually reluctantly replied.

"I just _respect_ him that's all. He seems…different lately, doesn't he? Listen, I've been thinking, and I think I should thank him for everything he's done for us. Well, for me specifically. I can't help but feel a little guilty about how little thanks he's gotten for the insanely dangerous work he did. I mean did you see that ridiculous book that foul dung beetle wrote about him? I just think…I dunno, I feel bad that everyone hates him, especially after everything that's happened."

"Scoundrel or Saint just about sums him up to me. I reckon you must be mad to want to speak to him after the reign of terror he imposed on us! He probably just knows stern old McGonagall won't let him get away with things that Dumbledore would have." Ron scoffed as Hermione scrutinised Hannah's face for a long moment.

"I really don't think that's a good idea. He always comes across as a pretty private man and, look I know you were well-meaning, but you told everyone his deepest darkest secrets. Yes, it kept him from Azkaban, and yes it was well-meaning, but he probably felt completely betrayed, perhaps even humiliated. Don't you think that he's more…actions speak louder than words? Whatever the reason, he's been content to stop tormenting everyone lately, and I think…maybe you should just let sleeping dragons lie."

"Yeah, please don't piss him off. Nobody will forgive you if he returns to his good-old self will they?" Ron said pleadingly.

She thought Hermione was probably correct, and that it would be unwise to yield to temptation and start bombarding Snape with gratitude. Yet, she knew that she was going to have to do it for her own sanity's sake if nothing else, and she hoped it would resolve her confusing obsession with the man. Grateful that the almost lie had diverted Hermione's attention from her true motives, she realised that everything she confessed to herself was in fact true. Despite her admittedly pitiful efforts, Hannah Potter had a pathetic school-girl crush on Severus Snape. A man who had previously spared no expense at making sure she knew he hated every fibre of her being. A man who one year ago she'd have gladly given her up her wand arm to see dead.

Herbology turned out to be an easy albeit unusual affair. Professor Sprout had them tend the Wolfsbane flowers. Poisonous in their raw state but being exceedingly valuable and used in complex potion making, amongst having the ability to ward off werewolves. These beautiful, purple flowers would only have magical properties if picked on the day preceding the night of the full moon. As they only grew in more mountainous areas, they got the chance to get out of the greenhouses and enjoy working in the fresh air. Although irritated at given the task of working on something she saw as pointless, the work was easy and gave Hannah the chance to gather her thoughts and come to a decision. Despite Hermione's warning, she was going to talk to Professor Snape. She had to make sure he understood that she acknowledged the sacrifices he had made on her behalf.

Thankfully, Defence was their last lesson giving Hannah the chance to talk to Snape without having to run off to her next class. After assuring her two friends that she would catch them up, she approached Snape's desk and placed her essay on top of the others. His quill was furiously marking the first essay handed in, and the sound of its scratch was somehow satisfying to her. He was clearly trying to ignore her presence, but she waited patiently for a few moments before he sighed in irritation and looked up. It seemed to Hannah that he was trying not to sneer at her, but he failed, and she squirmed a little under his scrutiny as she bit her lip nervously.

"Yes, Miss Potter? Is there a reason you have not fled my classroom in relief like your fellow classmates?" She took one deep breath and mentally prepared herself.

"I um…I just…" pausing, and imagining the 'spit it out - you stupid girl!' remark she was sure he was thinking, she gathered some courage and bravely looked into his eyes.

"Neither of us have brought it up…but I've realised for a long time now, well since the battle really, that, well…I owe you my life, and I just wanted to thank you. I know it wasn't easy and your memories were – traumatising, to say the least. I'd never have told everyone about them if I knew you were alive and I'm sorry for that, and every other stupid thing I've done, but mostly…thank you, for everything you've done for me and - I'm very glad you survived." Hannah inwardly cringed at how inarticulate she sounded. Her words had all come out in a muddled unintelligible rush, and she could feel her face heating up slightly. She courageously continued to look into his stoic, seemingly unfeeling eyes, failing to guess at his response. His eyebrows furrowed together and he began to look even more irritated and confused, creating an expression that screamed: " _what are you doing, you stupid girl_?" Clearly, whatever he had expected her to say, that was not it.

"Just as eloquent as ever. However meaningful your sentiments are, they are most certainly misguided and unnecessary." The words stabbed at her heart strangely, but Snape continued speaking clearly and slowly as if to emphasise the point to a small child. "My actions were my own, taken to repair some of the damage _I_ caused, not _you._ It was my duty to protect you from the danger I inflicted upon you by delivering that ridiculous prophecy. Your gratitude is therefore unwarranted. I do however...appreciate the overtly Gryffindor sentiment." She gaped at him – how could he think she owed him nothing?

"But…seventeen years is a very high price to pay for one poor decision! All I'm saying is that I'm...grateful that you were willing to pay it. I respect how much you must have gone through for us all to get to this point. For Vold…the Dark Lord to be defeated… we couldn't have done it without you. I just wanted…thank you." Cheeks burning furiously and her heart beating comically erratically she turned to leave, heading for the door before she could embarrass herself any further. Surprising her, his clear, deep voice carried across the classroom, despite the fact that he had resumed his scribbling all over their papers as if he was ignoring her.

" _Seventeen_ _years_." He scoffed. "It was only hard work after The Dark Lord was reborn. Though, I admit you most certainly did not make keeping you safe an easy task. Having said that _I_ should be thanking _you_ , for not leaving me to rot in that abominable house that so rightly deserves the title _shack_. Dying in the place that _Sirius_ intended me to meet my maker in would be shamefully unforgivable. I did not expect to survive the war, Miss Potter, but I am glad that my days amongst the dead are past. That is mostly down to you, is it not? We both stared death in the face that night, accepting our fate, and neither of us did it for our own good health." He looked up at her, his face neutral and expressionless, yet something in his eyes hinted at some unknown, unexpressed sentiment.

Utterly confused, she remained silently staring at him. _He,_ was thanking _her_? It seemed the most unlikely of occurrences, but there it was. The two of them. In his classroom. No shouting, fighting, or throwing unfriendly spells at each other. Both simply grateful to be in the realm of the living. She had so many questions running through her mind, 'Do you hate me? Do you see me for me - just as I am?' But before she could comment further, Snape shook his head and resumed writing, his features darkening once more and his usual bored, irritated tone returning in full force.

"Do shut the door on your way out, Potter." Not knowing what else there was she could say and feeling somewhat disheartened, she left the room, resisting the urge to turn and glance at him. Ron and Hermione had been patiently waiting for her outside the classroom but were looking at her suspiciously.

"What took you so long? I started to think he'd given you detention or something even though the gits not supposed to," Ron said.

"I ugh…I had a question about our essay." Ron raised his eyebrows in utter disbelief.

"Oh _sure_. What bloody question could _you_ possibly have about the theory of casting the Patronus charm and its practical defensive uses?"

"Well…I…forget it, it was a stupid question anyway. Look are we going to the Three Broomsticks tonight or not?" Both of her friends looked suspicious of her evasiveness, but to Hannah's relief, neither decided to press the issue.

Being of age at Hogwarts did come with certain benefits. It had been deemed appropriate that for returning eighth years, professors could no longer assign detentions or give and take house points. Arrangements were also made for eighth-years to be given private bedrooms, and they had the privilege of being able to leave the castle at will. Not for the first time since returning, Hannah, Ron, and Hermione had decided to visit the Three Broomsticks for a quiet drink after classes. The pub was somewhat busier than usual, with only one free table. Feeling somewhat like a third wheel sat with Ron and Hermione who had finally admitted their feelings to each other, Hannah found her mind – and eyes wondering from the conversation.

In the far corner, a slim, blonde woman with shockingly blue eyes was sitting alone, glancing around nervously and tapping her fingers on the table. It was almost as if she thought the whole pub was plotting against her. Ron and Hermione, however, seemed to be merrily reminiscing about their early Hogwarts careers.

"The look on Neville's face..." but Hannah was barely paying attention. Snape had just walked in and was heading towards the nervous looking woman, who got up and shook his hand. This woman, she decided, was far too beautiful for her liking and she felt a strange spike of jealousy course through her. What possible business could she have with Professor Snape? Could it be some kind of date? No, Hannah thought with unwarranted relief, who shakes hands on a date? Although, she thought Snape might just be the type to always be that formal. Try as she might, she couldn't hear what they were saying. Either they were too far away, or Snape had cast muffliato. While mentally chastising herself for sticking her nose into other people's business, she watched anyway feeling strangely and inexplicably drawn to the woman who had somehow lured Snape out of his dungeons. The woman was nodding and still nervously surveying the room. After a few minutes Snape got up, and Hannah heard the woman speak for the first time.

"Thank you – for understanding, it's uncommon," Snape frowned a little, but said nothing and headed towards the door, pausing as he reached Hannah's table. He looked at the small bottle they were sharing. Small, but admittedly containing fire whisky. He raised an eyebrow and surveyed them, seemingly unimpressed.

"I do _hope_ you can hold your drink. Neither absence nor hangover will be tolerated tomorrow morning."

"No hangover cures from you then, sir?" Hannah said cheekily.

"Absolutely not! It is far beyond my ability to offer sympathy for such self-inflicted conditions. I'm still expecting an _outstanding_ performance in your class tomorrow, and I won't be tolerating any excuses."

" _Really,_ Professor, you know we're your best students. We're _always_ outstanding." A curious glint appeared in his eyes, but he snorted disbelievingly.

" _Always?_ " He asked as he eyed them reproachfully and folded his arms.

"Yup," Hannah asserted with a nod. With a disgruntled shake of his head and a swish of his cloak, Snape turned and left without giving them a second glance.

"Bloody hell! That was almost banter. I half expected the git to try and get us kicked out!" Ron said.

"He has a point though, we probably shouldn't stay out late when we have _his_ class first thing. Probably best to be paying attention when people are throwing curses and hexes at you." Hermione muttered, seemingly unwillingly.

"It's not late Hermione! It's only seven!" Ron complained. Just when Hannah thought Hermione's words of wisdom were about to make them leave the warmth of the pub, the woman Snape had been talking to approached their table offering her hand out to Hannah.

"Hannah Potter, I believe? I can't tell you how honoured I am to meet you! I was an acquaintance of your mother. I've wanted to talk to you for some time." Hannah thought this was hard to believe – this woman, while admittedly much older and tired looking up close, could never be twenty years her senior. Begrudgingly, she took her hand and shook it. The woman smiled, pearly whites gleaming in the firelight, but Hannah didn't manage to smile back.

"Do you think we might talk in private? Somewhere we won't be interrupted? I have many memories of your parents that could pique your interest. It's supposed to be a clear night tonight and its many years since I've wandered the grounds at Hogwarts. Perhaps we could go for a stroll by the black lake? It would have to be tonight though I'm afraid, I work at the Ministry, and we're exceptionally busy at the moment, I suspect it'll be a whole _month_ before I get another day off!"

Not really wanting to say yes, but equally unwilling to reject the possibility of any new insight into the parents she never knew, Hannah hesitated feeling unsure. Hermione kicked her leg under the table, and when she looked over at her, she was shaking her head with a steely look in her eye. It would be stupid to go, she knew that, and yet she was completely unable to resist either the prospect of finding out more about her parents, or discovering what business this regrettably beautiful woman had with Snape. After a moment of indecisiveness, she replied with mock enthusiasm.

"Yeah, alright! Why not? It would be nice to get to know a friend of my parents."

"Wonderful!" The woman grinned. "Meet me at Eight Thirty. If memory serves me correctly, there is a small island with a tree growing on it in the lake. Could you meet me on the embankment near it? I have a short…errand to take care of in the meantime." The woman left without giving her a chance to reply. They hadn't even had a chance to ask her name. The only real information she had was that the woman apparently worked for the Ministry and that Snape had been talking to her. Against her better judgement, she decided that if Snape was helping this woman out, then she'd probably be trustworthy enough for a quick chat on school property.

"I can't believe you agreed to that! She could be anyone, tell me you're not going to go? You've lost your mind!" Hermione said angrily.

"Aren't you interested in what she wanted with Snape? Besides if she knew my parents..."

" _Nobody cares_ what she wanted with Professor Snape except _you_ – you're obsessed! This infatuation is ridiculous! _Professor_ Snape is twenty years older than you – you've seen his memories of _your mother_!" This comment was far too much for Ron to handle and he doubled over laughing, only barely managing to shut up when Hannah and Hermione both glared at him.

"Actually, he's only nineteen years older than me! But… _fine_ , I admit it. Snape's hot. Hermione, I already know what you're going to say. I'm confusing my growing respect for him for attraction and that the best I can ever hope from him, with his being my teacher, is for him to be apathetic towards me. I'm not stupid, I'll get over it eventually, and I'll feel very foolish when I do. It's not like he's ever shown any kind of emotion other than anger or irritation at my presence anyway. I'm still going, curiosity will kill me otherwise."

"Bloody hell, I thought you were joking. What about my sister? I thought…you know…you liked girls. I mean you weren't exactly quiet about liking Cho either, and you've only ever had a _girlfriend_." Hannah sighed and rubbed her forehead. She hadn't been looking forward to this conversation.

"You _know_ me and Ginny never resumed our relationship after the war. I'm sorry, but we were gone all year, and I just didn't really miss her. Besides, no offence but I think she only wanted a relationship with me because I was _the chosen one_. She's doing fine without me anyway, I saw her snogging some pretty sixth year a few days ago. As to liking girls…I dunno, perhaps I'm just equal opportunities, but whatever I am and whatever I'm not, it doesn't matter because I _definitely_ like _him_. Even you two have to admit, our classmates are just…lacking in life experience, all things considered. Guess I just prefer…more mature men, not… _boys_." If Ron disagreed with her assessment, he did not say so. After a few of the most awkwardly silent minutes of her life, Hermione finally spoke.

"I don't think you're alone you know. I heard the Patil twins sniggering about how he's now some kind of romantic hero and how his voice makes them weak at the knees." Hannah smiled at her gratefully, trying not to dwell too much on the fact that it wasn't just her that found his deep voice irresistible. It was just like her friend to be understanding, even when she developed frankly weird obsessions with her most formidable and intimidating teacher.

"I better get going if I'm going to be on time, it's a long walk. Look you two stay here and finish that bottle – we did pay for it after all. Don't worry, whoever she is, she can hardly be dangerous if Snape's helping her out can she?" Not wanting any further arguments, Hannah left the comforting warmth of the pub and headed towards the black lake alone, the light of the full moon guiding her path.


	2. Nunc Dimittis

Chapter Two

Nunc dimittis

Whoever this woman was, she was late. Hannah had arrived at the black lake in good time, and if there was anything she detested in life, it was sitting around waiting for somebody else with nothing but her own melancholy thoughts for company. She found herself absentmindedly skipping stones in the lake, trying in vain to get more than three or four skips. While she would never be as good at is as Ron, she could try and give him a good run for his money if nothing else. After twenty minutes of skipping stones, Hannah decided to give up, deciding it had probably been a bad idea to agree to the meeting anyway, never mind the cold beginning to set in. She decided it was probably just as well and that she didn't really feel like wandering the grounds with the chill settling in. It was only when she turned to head towards the castle that she saw it – an exceptionally large grey wolf, with startling blue eyes, watching her. It was tentatively walking towards her, and the creature was already much too close for comfort. In her distracted state and with the sound of stones splashing in the water, she hadn't heard it approach.

With a shaky hand, she reached for her wand in panic and raised it towards the approaching creature. It stopped and looked at her warily with large, human-like eyes. Eyes that were far too intelligent to be those of a typical wolf. _Werewolf_ , she realised, glancing at the moon and panicking even further with the knowledge that she couldn't run, there was nowhere to hide, and she knew absolutely no spells that could fight off a savage werewolf. Except _this_ werewolf did not look savage at all, in fact, it was sat quite calmly, watching her every move with intense scrutiny. The wolf certainly seemed very docile compared to the state Professor Lupin had been in several years ago. Hannah was not the brightest witch it was true, that spot had been reserved for Hermione many years ago. However, it occurred to her that this could be no coincidence. Perhaps this _was_ the woman with whom she had been conversing with earlier. Snape must have been providing her with the potion she needed to keep her mind clear.

"Have you taken your potion? Were you the woman I met in the pub earlier?" The redundant question sounded stupid even to Hannah, but she needed some sign that the creature was not about to make dinner of her. The wolf nodded but made no other movement. Lowering her wand, she found herself thinking mournfully of Remus, and the difficulties faced by his kind. She couldn't help but feel some sympathy for this woman- wolf, especially when she worked for the Ministry. Feeling any malice she might have felt earlier slipping away, she decided to give the wolf some company for a while. Wondering if sympathetic company was all the woman-wolf wanted, Hannah mused that one night probably felt incredibly long when you spent it as an animal, not being able to speak and having to hide from all the world.

"You know, one of the best teachers I ever had was a werewolf. He was my friend too until...the war took him. Is that when this happened to you? A werewolf follower of Voldemort..." The wolf shuddered, growled and gave her the kind of look that said 'don't say the name!' Never-the-less she nodded and slowly walked within arms distance of Hannah and sat next to her.

"I'm sorry. That...sucks. I've always felt that the Ministry should treat people like, well people. I mean you're condition is perfectly treatable now, isn't it? I'm guessing that Professor Snape has been giving you potions. I'm glad someone can help you out, and _his_ potions are probably the best around. I reckon the Ministry should just give them away, that way people wouldn't really have an excuse to treat you any differently, and you wouldn't have to worry about it so much every month." Hannah half felt she was rambling to no-one but hoped that the woman-wolf would understand that she felt no real malice towards her. The wolf was scrutinising her face and had tilted its head slightly, clearly somewhat confused. It was almost as if she was conflicted and undecided about something. A few minutes passed before Hannah spoke again, turning away to observe the ironic beauty of the moon.

"I can't help but wonder...why did you arrange to meet me? I mean there isn't really anything I can do to help you. I wish I could. Everyone says I have a bit of a hero complex, and I guess that's true. I'd do anything to help, but…this seems kind of pointless when you can't really reply…" So quickly, before she could even have had a chance to register it, the wolf had lunged at her gripping her arm in its jaws and shaking its head, tearing and deepening the wound and pulling Hannah to the ground. Almost immediately the wolf let go and looked at her warily with its ears back. After a moment's hesitation, it turned tail and ran towards the forbidden forest, looking mournfully back before disappearing from sight.

A deep sense of shock and foreboding began to dawn upon Hannah as she managed to stand. For several long moments she stood frozen in place, unable to register what had just happened. Her heart sped up to a frantic pace, and adrenaline coursed through her body as searing, hot pain began to settle in her arm. The terrible, burning sensation was increasingly setting her blood on fire and spreading through her entire body. Feeling her panic rising further, she tried to calm herself, knowing that she needed to get back to the castle and heal her arm. It was bleeding badly in several places, and she desperately brushed the blood away from the bite marks several times in disbelief as if it would make the marks somehow change or disappear. After taking off her scarf and wrapping it tightly around the puncture wounds, she shakily began the arduous walk back to the castle.

Infection, Hannah realised. She had asked the wolf what it had wanted, asked how she could help, and then it had bitten her, ensuring the wound was big enough to be sure of infection without putting her in any immediate danger. Perhaps it had even been planned from that first meeting in the pub, and Hannah knew she must have only encouraged her when she said she'd _do anything to help_.

Wishing she had brought her invisibility cloak, Hannah snuck into the dungeons, praying to the castle that she wouldn't meet anyone along the way. She couldn't help but feel an immense, heavy sense of shame and vulnerability, not to mention that she felt totally humiliated by the fact that she had been fooled so easily, after everything she had been through.

Arriving at Snape's, _no_ , she reminded herself, _Slughorn's_ stores, she frantically searched for two specific items; essence of ditanny, and powdered silver, thanking whoever was listening that she remembered Snape's infamous third-year werewolf classes. Eventually, she found what she was looking for, naturally opting for Snape's spidery scrawl over Slughorn's neat script. Opening the bottle of ditanny, she clumsily poured a generous dose over her arm, whimpering in pain, but quickly sprinkling silver over the wound before it closed. Grabbing one of Snape's calming draughts too for good measure, she downed it in one.

The calming draught helped very little. Unfortunately, having dealt with her wounds, Hannah was left with nothing but her thoughts for company. Any sense of calm she had managed to cling on to abandoned her, and she fell to her knees unable to contain her emotions now that her physical injuries had been healed. Dropping the vial of ditanny, causing a loud smash to echo through the corridor, she covered her face with her hands and began to cry with abandon. Snape's potions she realised, had been her saviour and executioner both. With them, the wolf had been able to _choose_ to attack her, without them, she would probably have been dinner, or left with wounds too horrific to heal.

Despite her distressed state, more questions were filling her mind than she wanted to give credence to. _What would happen to her now? Would the world now see her as some kind of savage beast to be avoided? What of her friends? Would she be forced out of Hogwarts? How was she going to cope with turning into a savage wolf every month? How painful would it be? How long would she manage to keep it secret? Should she keep it secret? Would she be able to have a career?_ _Could anyone ever love her now she was no longer human?_

She'd been in the potion stores for far too long, but before she could even begin to form any kind of coherent thoughts on any of the questions invading her mind, she heard fast footsteps coming towards her. In her desperate haste to heal herself, she hadn't even bothered to close the door. She'd simply remained frozen in position since drinking the calming draught that had done remarkably little to alleviate her symptoms. Accepting her fate, she remained motionless, not even having the strength to threateningly raise her wand at the intruder, or try to stop the tears from falling. Seconds later, Severus Snape was standing at the door looking down on her, sneering in the familiar way he had done for years whenever he was in her presence.

"Potter!" He spat angrily. "Why is it you seem to think you can help yourself to anything you..." Snape paused as he saw the smashed jar on the floor and the brown paper envelope that had contained the silver. Hannah's arm was still covered in blood and had freshly made scars, too obviously in the shape of an animal bite. He was an observant man, and she knew there was no way he hadn't noticed. An uncharacteristic gasp escaped him, and his eyes widened as he surveyed the scene before him.

"Your arm," he said, disarmingly softly. "Show it to me." Hannah turned her face away from him but complied and held out her arm. He took it gently and examined it with warm, somehow welcoming fingers that tickled her skin. His presence had somehow eased her nerves, and for some illogical reason, she was glad that fate had directed _him_ to her, rather than anyone else. She felt his wand press lightly into her skin, and he cleaned the wound for her. When he finally released her, she couldn't help but childishly miss his gentle touch.

"You should have headed straight to the hospital wing, there are potions that would have stopped the scaring. It's healed as it should, but is it still painful?" He continued to speak softly and calmly, and Hannah braved looking at his face. He didn't look angry, but Hannah suspected once he forced her to tell her tale, he'd soon change his tune and blame her for the evening's unlikely turn of events. She shook her head, despite feeling as if she could combust with heat at any moment.

"Is the culprit still within the grounds?"

"No." She whispered. To her dismay, Snape was looking at her with something like pity, and a few moments of silence passed between them before either of them spoke again.

"Follow me." Snape's tone was firm and allowed no room for discussion, so she followed without hesitation, too exhausted to argue and even feeling somewhat grateful that her fate would now be in the hands of someone else. Someone Dumbledore trusted – someone _she_ trusted. Inexplicably, she had calmed on Snape's arrival and had managed to stop her hysterical crying. After a short walk, they reached a large painting of a witch holding a smoking bottle. It was a scene set at night, and Hannah scowled at the irony of the full moon in the picture. The frame had the words 'Potioneer Cliodna,' and the painting wordlessly opened the way with Snape's approach, not bothering to ask for a password. Stepping inside, Hannah realised that Snape had taken her to his private quarters. Hopefully, she thought, he would remain sympathetic and would agree to keep what had happened confidential. The last thing she wanted was for whispers to start spreading around the school about her _again_.

Snape's living room was almost exactly as she had envisioned, practically screaming of the austerity she had come to expect from him. Almost everything in it was plain and in a neutral colour, just like the robes he wore. The walls were as whitewashed as the rest of the castle would be without its paintings. The room was, however, furnished with dark ornate woods and surprisingly comfortable looking chairs. Full bookcases lined the walls, but the room lacked any other personal touches, and there were very few of the trinkets and clutter that most people plastered around their homes. The only revealing item in the room seemed to be a grammar phone in the corner, with a large collection of both magical and muggle records. A large fireplace was burning brightly, and a large painting featuring two emerald tree snakes coiled around tree branches hung above it. Hannah supposed that was probably rather unfortunate, considering the Professor's almost demise by Voldemort's beloved Nagini only a few short months ago. Both of the snakes were eyeing her suspiciously, but with regrettably intense interest.

"Sss! A woman!" one of the snakes hissed to the other, its beady eye twinkling with delight. "About time he brought sssomeone home! Ssshe's pretty too, however did he pick her up? He'd be an idiot to let thisss one go! Does he want to keep her, or doesss he jussst want to bed her?" The snakes lifted their heads and were analysing her. _Fantastic_ , Hannah thought with disdain, thinking it was a joyous day indeed at the discovery that she could still speak parceltongue. Extra fantastic – they thought he'd brought her here for activities she dared not imagine, lest she start to obsess even more about him. She blushed furiously at the implication that they could be anything other than student and teacher, and she hoped Snape wouldn't question her on it.

"I'm his student!" She hissed back earning her nothing but hissed laughter. Snape glared at the painting in clear contempt, and Hannah wondered whether his hatred of the painting was borne out of Nagini's attack, or whether he had always hated it.

"Return to the common room where you belong! Your job is to watch the students, not me!" He said with a sneer, but the snakes completely ignored him, obviously far too interested in the apparently unusual event of Snape bringing a young woman into his quarters at night. He turned towards Hannah and gestured to a chair.

"Take a seat." While she sat by the fire, he headed towards a side table grabbing a glass and a bottle with the words 'Phoenix Tears.' He poured a generous amount into a glass and passed it to her. He sat in a chair opposite and leaned forward, surveying her as if she was going to explode in a fit of tears or rage at any moment and she realised that if he wasn't present that's exactly what would happen.

"You seem very calm, all things considered. Drink, I think you'll find it settles the nerves a little better than fire whisky." Hannah sipped at the bitter, burning and yet pleasurable liquid, immediately feeling warmer and took a deep albeit shaky breath.

"Thanks. I needed that."

"Do you require a calming draught or even a draught of peace?" He asked.

"No, I'm okay, I ugh, already pinched one." Snape raised his eyebrows.

"Understandable. Now, explain to me how _this_ , has occurred at Hogwarts," he said pointing at her arm. Hannah took a deep breath and explained the events of the night, avoiding his likely disapproving gaze. She explained how the woman had approached her in the pub, how she waited by the lake and how she had foolishly lowered her guard in the company of a werewolf – even taking pity on her. She revealed how she had been bitten without warning and how she believed the wolf had always intended to infect her.

Snape listened patiently and silently to her story, but when she finished, he got up and began to pace in an irritated fashion. He was clearly angry with her, but somehow she got the feeling that he was angry with himself too.

"Of all the stupid things to do! In all these years have you learned nothing at all? How easily manipulated you are…how can you possibly be so naïve after all this time? Do you have no sense of self-preservation _at all_? _Why_ did you go?"

"Well, I knew I was taking a risk, but honestly, Professor, I never thought I'd have to defend myself against a werewolf in Hogwarts! Umm…at least not for a second time anyway. Will I never be free? Are people always going to be chasing after me?" Angry tears were threatening to stain her face again, but she managed to contain them as she avoided his gaze.

"Hannah, there will always be people who resent you. You defeated the Dark Lord. That alone makes you impressive and benevolent to some, but dangerously powerful and frightening to others."

"This is going to make everything worse…give them another reason…"

"Yes. People have an impressive ability to misunderstand and misinterpret. You best be prepared for extreme opinions on both sides. I expect that's nothing new to you."

"Trust you to be straight-talking and honest, even at a time like this…" She suspected she sounded like a sulky teenager, and if she was honest, that was exactly how she felt. While Snape was clearly angry with her for making such a stupid mistake, she got the impression that he did not truly blame her. When she finally dared to look at him, he'd stopped pacing and was surveying her remarkably stoically.

"A few weeks ago, I received a letter from a former student. One of my first students. Unsurprisingly, few people tend to keep in contact with me, so I was surprised to receive it. In this letter Mathilda Grimblehawk revealed to me she had been attacked by a werewolf during the war while her husband was away, busy at the Ministry. She confessed an _obvious_ lack of ability in brewing the potion required to maintain her sanity and asked if I would be able to assist her, seeing as she was due to visit family in Hogsmeade. Her fool of a husband works for the Ministry – Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and is vehemently opposed to the idea that werewolves should be treated as normal citizens. So vehemently in fact, that he has recently petitioned for werewolves to be moved from 'being' back to the 'beast' category. Her husband's ignorance of her condition reveals a general lack of intellect, and I confess I found myself…sympathetic to her cause." A few moments passed as Hannah took in what he was saying. She had already known that Snape had probably made the potion, but a bigger picture was beginning to form in her mind. Mathilda – now she had a name – was evidently afraid that her husband would not accept her, but why would she choose to attack Hannah? What did she expect to gain?

"I can assure you...Hannah. I promise you. If I had known what she had intended to do with the potion...if she would not be in Azkaban...I would." Snape huffed - "If it was a crime to kill a transformed werewolf, that is. Even I'd get off scot-free with that one…" Hannah flinched at that. Surely he would not have killed Mathilda had he known?

"It's not your fault. You were just helping someone out, I was the idiot that couldn't resist small pieces of information about my parents and…" She broke off not wanting to admit she'd really wanted to know how Snape knew the woman. "Wait…it's legal to kill a werewolf? Even if they're under the Wolfsbane?" Hannah whispered. Snape simply nodded avoiding her gaze.

"Many wouldn't even question it."

"Do you think...is it possible that I'm not...infected?" Before she could even finish the sentence, Snape was shaking his head again and spoke firmly, but softly.

"Denial will not help you. You. Are. A. Werewolf. This is a fact you cannot afford to ignore. If you do, everyone you fought to protect will be in danger. This time, from _you._ "

"Are you going to tell anyone?" A long moment passed, and Snape seemed to be in fierce debate with himself. She didn't envy his position. As a teacher, it was his job to protect all of his students whether he liked them or not, and this time next month she would be the most dangerous thing in the school. For all his faults, Snape had always protected the students, and even after killing Albus he had led the Death Eaters straight out of the school.

"No. That is your decision to make. However, I must insist you tell the Headmistress soon. Not to do so would be a breach of her trust in both you _and_ me. Hogwarts is first and foremost a school. Regrettably, preparations must be made to ensure the safety of the other students." Hannah nodded and looked down, unable to help but feel more than a little anxious.

"What if she makes me leave?"

"Then that would be her right under the law, werewolves have no automatic right to magical education." Hannah looked up startled, but he gave her a pointed look that almost accused her of stupidity. "Do you seriously think that after everything you have done for Hogwarts, Minerva would turn you away now? Even if she did, I would aid you. That would be _my_ right." Despite herself, Hannah couldn't help but give him a small smile, thankful for the surprising offer.

"No, I think...she will understand."

"Would you prefer for me to explain the situation to her in the morning?" Snape asked. Hannah considered for a moment and nodded. She didn't think she wanted to explain the night's events again so soon and was grateful for his offer.

"I think...I want to, I dunno, get my head around it before I tell anyone else. I don't want the Ministry and the press to find out. Hermione will figure it out quickly but..." Snape gave her a stern, disapproving look.

"Are you implying you're not going to report this? You realised she committed a crime? She knowingly infected you with a lifelong condition that insights fear and hatred, and you're not going to seek justice?" Hannah considered for a moment before speaking decisively.

"No, I'm not. At least not yet, not unless it looks like she's going after other people too. Don't werewolves have trouble finding employment? If I report it, the papers will be all over it, and my N.E.W.T. scores won't matter, I'll be unemployable. Plus…I've really had enough of people gawping at me for a lifetime, and _this_ …you know, all I wanted was a normal year, just _one_ …at least this time it's not all three of us involved. It's just me on my own, _just Hannah."_

"You're never going to be just Hannah." He stated it as fact, and she snorted and smiled wryly at him, distracting herself by pathetically adding _to me_ , to the end of his sentence.

A few minutes passed in silence and only the ticking of a clock on the mantelpiece could be heard. Intense anxiety returning to her in waves, Hannah realised she was about to be sent back to her room, and she shed a few silent tears as she finished her overly strong drink. She really didn't want to face Ron and Hermione right now, and she knew there would be questions if she saw them.

"I don't...I don't want to return to the tower...too many questions," she said, feeling embarrassed. Snape looked as if he was having an intense mental argument with himself and didn't reply for a minute or so.

"Do you want me to escort you to the hospital wing?"

"Oh, God. Please, no!" She pleaded, thinking that was the absolute last place she wanted to stay the night, knowing that by morning everyone would know something was wrong. He sighed and stared at the door at the other side of the room as if in indecision.

"Would you feel more comfortable staying here? You can stay in the study if you're…incapable of returning to your tower." Hannah looked up, hopeful.

"Yes, please," she whispered. Snape opened the door to their left, shaking his head as he did so. The room contained a large sofa, several bookcases and a desk, amongst many strange looking objects she couldn't decipher the purpose of, similar to those in Dumbledore's office. He pointed his wand at the sofa which quickly transformed into a small four-poster bed, exceptionally similar to those within the student's dormitories. Hannah blinked in surprise, and she swore she heard Snape muttering something about some people "not knowing they were magical."

"This should suffice for tonight. I'll excuse you from classes in the morning, but you will wait for me outside the headmistress's office at eleven. I will have explained the circumstances. It's getting late, and you would do well to get as much sleep as possible. Fever usually sets in after a werewolf bite, and you will need rest if you want to recover. If you start to feel too sick, you can knock on my door, and we'll head to Madam Pomfrey." Pausing before leaving the room he hesitated before asking a question that seemed to be irritating him.

"Out of curiosity, what did the painting say as you came in? You're reply sounded…irritated, something I confess to feeling whenever I look at or hear that infuriatingly taunting painting." Hannah blushed, feeling awkward.

"Um…they were surprised to see me and…I told them I was _only_ your student." If he didn't get it from that, then she wasn't going to elaborate further. Snape had obviously read between the lines and shook his head angrily.

"That sounds like an accurate translation, goodnight…Hannah." The sound of her first name, made her look up in surprise, but he had already closed the door. The gentle way he'd said it had sent a shiver down her spine. Nobody had said her name like that before, and it was almost as if he was caressing the 'H'. She shook her head realising how pathetic her thoughts were, knowing she had far more important things to think about than her ridiculous crush on Severus Snape of all people.

This had been one of the most tiring, confusing and difficult days of her life, and that was saying something. Hannah's thoughts were all over the place, and she knew there was no way she was going to be able to sleep properly tonight. Being a werewolf was a truly terrifying prospect, and she wished she'd bothered to learn more about the condition. She would be forced to undergo painful transformations every month, and her sanity would be reliant on one of the most challenging potions known to wizardkind. At least one good thing had come from it though, Hannah thought. Snape – no, that was the name she had used when she hated him. _Severus_ had been incredibly kind and understanding. He had shown her no real malice and had even allowed her to stay in his quarters for the night, not to mention he had promised to help her even if McGonagall refused. Clinging to the ridiculous hope that his kind demeanour had been due to some kind of affection for her, Hannah climbed into the bed and tried to get some rest.

Waking only a few short hours later, she discovered Severus had been correct. She was burning up with fever, and she was already covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Too hot to sleep, she got out of bed and surveyed the bookshelves hoping to find something relating to werewolves. Somewhat predictably, Severus' bookshelves contained many ridiculously advanced books on the dark arts and potions, along with a few relating to some equally advanced charms and transfiguration compendiums. She also noticed quite a few novels as well, including some of the most popular muggle classics.

After a few minutes of searching, she found something relevant; "Damocles: The invention and brewing of the Wolfsbane Potion." Taking the book off the shelf, she flicked through its pages, skipping to the brewing instructions. Potions were not Hannah's strongest discipline, and this recipe made her want to weep. Most of the instructions were indecipherable to her, and the only things she had heard of in the ingredients list were silver and aconite, not to mention that Severus had annotated the crap out of his copy – perhaps when he needed to brew it for Professor Lupin. Only the most complicated potions in his copy of Advanced Potions had annotations even remotely close to this amount. Her heart sank with the knowledge that even the well-rounded Remus had not been able to brew this. She would probably have to rely on other people to brew it for the rest of her life and wondered if she could just buy a house with a solid basement and magically lock herself in every month. Snapping the book shut in frustration, she returned the book to its place and once again attempted to get some sleep.

SS

When morning arrived, Severus Snape did something he had never done before – even when he was a Death Eater. He cancelled his morning lesson, leaving the eighth year students with instructions to merely complete an essay. He felt absolutely furious. Angry with Mathilda, angry with himself and angry with the Potter girl – everything always happened to _her,_ the girl he had put so much effort into keeping safe, despite her best efforts. He stormed his way up to Minerva's office, uttered the password 'Elphinstone' and marched inside. Minerva looked up from her desk somewhat startled, but he immediately glared at Albus' sleeping portrait. If he were a betting man, he'd bet the old man would awaken upon hearing _this_ conversation.

"Gracious Severus! I haven't seen you look this murderous in months – what brings you here?" Well, he decided, there was no point in beating about the bush, might as well get right to the point.

"Hannah Potter is a werewolf – she was bitten yesterday, and within the school grounds no less." Minerva blinked in surprise and dropped her quill on the desk as she stood staring at him in shock. Nobody could be expected to predict that this would be the reason for his morning visit, though he doubted she was as shocked as he'd been when he discovered the Potter girl late last night.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me correctly, Minerva. Hannah is a werewolf, the perpetrator deliberately bit her, having taken the Wolfsbane Potion. She claims the wolf escaped to the forbidden forest. I found her treating the bite in the school's potion stores last night. Preparations must be made to accommodate her condition so that she can complete her education without endangering the entire school population." A moment of silence passed as Minerva took this information in.

"How is she? I assume you took her to Madam Pomfrey?" He felt a little awkward at the confession he was about to make. Minerva was going to think he'd gone soft and, well, perhaps he had…a little.

"No, she healed the wound adequately herself. It was her only her emotional state that needed tending to. I took her to my quarters to discuss her predicament and suggested that she talk to you in the morning – she thought her school career might be at an end and was worried about her future employment." Severus seriously doubted that nobody would employ the girl that lived to save all of wizardom, but fame had been a fickle thing for Hannah Potter, and there was no denying her future life choices would be limited.

"There will be no need for that! Hogwarts has two fine potion masters capable of making the potion required to ensure the safety of the other students. No, I'm just worried about Hannah – after everything she has suffered. When the press finds out…I suspect she's distraught."

"She does not wish to tell any more people than necessary, to the extent that she wishes to simply let the culprit go, despite knowing her identity. I am…concerned about her. She was crying hysterically when I found her, but she calmed almost immediately upon my arrival, remaining calm until faced with the prospect of returning to the dormitories. I confess I allowed her an…indulgence. She stayed in my study for the night. I was reluctant to dismiss her knowing how easily she could disappear from the grounds, especially in her distress. The last thing we want is for her to run from it. I believed giving her some time to contemplate her situation before having to face her classmates would be of some benefit. I'm sure nobody wants to have to report her missing, imagine the outcry." Minerva was looking at him as if she had no idea who he was, and he briefly wondered if she'd suspect Polyjuice Potion.

"Well, that was generous of you." She was looking at him with a curious glint of pride in her eye, irritatingly similar to Albus' twinkle. Severus only frowned in reply, he wasn't a complete monster after all. Now he didn't have The Dark Lord poking into his head all the time he could allow himself a few moments of compassion. Severus looked towards Albus' portrait - of course, the old coot was awake now. The picture spoke for the first time since Severus entered the room and he tried and failed not to glare at it in irritation.

"Perhaps you could attempt to teach Hannah how to brew her potion, Severus. I dare say it would give you time to get to know her, now you both seem to have left old grudges at the door? You did promise that if you both survived…you'd indulge the wishes of an old man…" He knew something like this would come up. Just when he thought he was free of his responsibilities, more always seemed to be thrust upon him. He suspected he would be brewing her potions for a while – Slughorn didn't know about her condition, and she wanted to keep things quiet. He sighed, resigning himself to the knowledge that he'd be spending a great deal of time with her, attempting to teach a dismally unskilled potioneer a potion bordering on miraculous. Before he could reply, there was a knock at the door, and Hagrid entered the room with a serious look on his face, contrasting with his usually outrageously happy demeanour.

"Mornin P'erfessors, afraid there's been a bit of bad news from the centaurs this mornin. Usually, they'd keep it to emselves but seems Firenze was concerned about the students. Apparently, the centaurs were attacked by a werewolf last night – seems strange to me, they usually only go fer humans don't they? He says they had to kill it. You don't think it coulda come across any of the kids do yeh?"

Severus stared at Minerva knowingly. Mathilda must have deliberately provoked the centaurs into killing her, perhaps out of the guilt and shame of attacking Hannah, or, maybe she just wanted to be released from a world that would never accept her. It was a fate he sincerely hoped would not even cross Hannah's mind, she already had an unfortunate predisposition for self-sacrifice, and he'd spent enough of his time protecting her from herself already, without having to waste another year of his life continuing to protect her.

HP

Hannah woke up feeling truly terrible. She still had a fever and was generally feeling as achy and as tired as she would if she had the flu. A heavy feeling was beginning to settle in her heart, a dark shadow weighing her down – she refused to acknowledge it and buried it deep within her mind. Having slept in her normal clothes, she was in desperate need of a shower and a change of attire. Realising that she only had about an hour and a half before she was supposed to meet Severus and Professor McGonagall, she got out of bed and exited the study. Approaching the warmth of the fire, she noticed a note that had been placed on a small side table.

Hannah,

The house elves have been notified that you will dine here for breakfast today. Eat as much as you can. The password is Elphinstone, do not be late.

Within seconds of touching the note, Hannah jumped when a tray of tea, toast and a selection of fruits appeared on the table. Not really feeling hungry but not having the daring to leave it against Severus' underlined orders, she ate and drank as much of it as she could. Making a short, quick visit to the tower to shower and change, she was glad she didn't run into Ron or Hermione, who would inevitably have had more questions than she was willing to answer. By the time she had reached McGonagall's office she was right on time and feeling sick with anxiety. After speaking the password and climbing the stairs, she took one shaky deep breath in a poor attempt to steady her nerves and knocked on the door, ready to accept her fate.


	3. Pioneering Potions

Chapter Three

Pioneering potions

The meeting with Severus and Professor McGonagall wasn't anywhere near as disastrous or distressing as Hannah had imagined it would be. Severus obviously knew his colleague very well and had been correct. Professor McGonagall had been nothing but sympathetic and had assured her that as long as she was sensible, took her potion, and found a safe place to transform, she had nothing to worry about – at least as far as her education was concerned. Severus brought up the issue of where she could safely transform every month, and Hannah suggested using the room of requirement, knowing it to be a safe and inaccessible place when needed.

Regrettably, Hagrid was now aware of the attack and its unfortunate results. She had wrongly assumed he had somehow heard what had happened after finding him in McGonagall's office, only realising he had been clueless when he lifted her three feet into the air in a bear hug while assuring her that everything will work out in the end.

Severus had then informed her that Mathilda had been killed, and she struggled immensely with this revelation. On the one hand, it definitely simplified things – Mathilda wouldn't be attacking anyone else. On the other, Hannah couldn't help but feel saddened by the fact that she had decided to end her life rather than live as a werewolf.

Thankfully, Professor McGonagall, along with Severus and Hagrid agreed to keep her condition a secret, for now, allowing her to tell people in her own time. Severus had agreed not only to make her potions every month while she was still at Hogwarts, but also to attempt to teach her how to brew it. This prospect terrified her, but she knew she had to put her best effort in. Otherwise, she would have to find someone capable of brewing the potion every month for the rest of her life. She briefly thought of Hermione – no doubt _she_ would be able to produce it, but quickly buried the thought knowing that sooner or later she would have to learn it anyway, and she decided she might as well learn from the best.

Once she had been dismissed from the Headmistress's office, Hannah headed down to the great hall for lunch, not feeling hungry but knowing she would have to show her face sooner or later. She suspected Ron and Hermione would be wondering where she was already, and she knew the sooner she showed her face, the more likely they were to think nothing had happened. Upon her arrival, they both looked immensely relieved to see her, and she tried to smile knowing she'd probably failed and produced more of a grimace than anything encouraging.

"You're _alive_ then?! We were starting to get really worried, you didn't come home last night, _and_ you missed Professor Snape's class!" Hermione said.

"Yeah, it's a good job it was cancelled, I wouldn't want to see his face if you skived off after he saw us in the pub. You're lucky he only set us an essay, in for Tuesday. Where were you though? We knocked on your door this morning, and after Snape's class but you didn't answer," Ron complained as he piled several sandwiches onto his plate.

"I guess I was dead to the world this morning. I've just been feeling really tired, to say I overslept is probably an understatement."

"Well, you certainly look tired. If I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't get any sleep at all…" Hermione noted astutely.

Hannah hated lying to her friends, but there was no way she would be telling them the truth, at least not yet. She knew Hermione would figure it out within a few full moons and she knew they would be accepting, having had Professor Lupin as a teacher. Despite knowing her friends wouldn't turn her away, she needed some time to digest last night's events. The least she could do was wait until she could reassure them that she wouldn't be going savage anytime soon, not to mention being able to avoid the 'what to do' and 'what not to do' lectures she was bound to get from Hermione. She pulled at the sleeve of her top worriedly, making sure the bite mark was covered. Realising she would forever be worrying about whether people would see her scars, she made a mental note to ask Severus if there was anything that could remove them.

"Well, tell us about that woman then. What did she want – _a date with our hero or something_?" Ron laughed, it was a poor attempt at humour. Hoping her memory would be good enough to remember all the lies she was going to tell, she hoped Ron and Hermione would believe an alternate story.

"Hmph, no, just some reporter - didn't know my parents at all. She just wanted an interview. Don't worry, I didn't stay long when I figured out what she wanted." Hermione looked at her crossly.

"At least that's all she wanted. You took a bit of a risk there – even if you did defeat Voldemort, you're not invulnerable to attack, the wars only just over."

"I know Hermione, trust me. I won't do it again." At least that wasn't a lie, Hannah thought. Most of the other students had left the hall by now, and only a handful of students remained. Not feeling capable of eating anything, Hannah suggested they head to their next lesson, thanking her lucky stars that her friends had swallowed the lie.

The following three weeks went by much the same as any. However, Hannah couldn't help but feel increasingly nervous about the impending arrival of the full moon. The only werewolf transformation she had ever witnessed had been Professor Lupin's during her third year, and she certainly didn't want to think about that too much. Severus treated her the same as everyone else in his class and remained as stoic as he had been for the first month of school. Occasionally she swore she could feel him watching her, but whenever she would look up, or turn her head to look at him, he would abruptly look away from her. She wondered if it was just wishful thinking and eventually, she decided that she was probably pathetic enough to be simply imagining it.

At the end of her defence lesson on a Friday morning, three weeks after being bitten, Severus asked her to stay after class. He was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed looking deep in thought. It was only once they were alone that he spoke with his penetrating gaze on her face, clearly attempting to assess her reaction.

"As you are no doubt painfully aware, the brewing of your potions will need to begin on Sunday night. You will meet me in the potions classroom at precisely six p.m."

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Really, you have no idea…" She hesitated before speaking again. "Do you think it's even possible for me to learn this?" If he doubted her ability, he did not show it and he continued to maintain his now usual apathetic demeanour.

"Professor Slughorn sings your praises to anyone that will listen does he not? I hear your potion making abilities have reached an adequate level of proficiency under his tutelage. If you memorise the process and learn to recognise the subtle difference between failure and success, then…possibly. You do not necessarily need to know _why_ just _what._ I do know two things. Firstly, you have little choice but to try, and secondly, self-doubt will lead to failure just as quickly as inability." Hannah sighed. Her abilities had improved, but only because she had extra help.

"I've only improved because I followed _your_ notes in your old Advanced Potions book," Hannah swore Severus' mouth twitched as if threatening to smile and his dark eyes seemed to brighten a little.

"I'm aware of that. At least it shows that you can follow my instructions, which after all is all you're going to need to do. Keep an open mind unless you are proven otherwise, Miss Potter. Sunday at six. Do not be late." Hannah thought that sounded like a gross oversimplification but decided against arguing the point. Recognising the dismissal, she left the classroom feeling about as confident as she had in her first year.

So it was that at five-thirty on Sunday night, Hannah found herself heading to the dungeons, preparing for what was bound to be a disheartening and humiliating experience. Unfortunately, Ron and Hermione had no plans on going to Hogsmeade, or anywhere else and were very curious as to where she was going. She decided to tell them the truth – at least partially.

"Sev…Professor Snape has agreed to give me some extra potion lessons a few days every month. I want to make sure killing off Voldemort isn't the only qualification I have, and we all know potions is my worst subject – especially without his book. Plus, I thought, you know, might as well get to know him a bit now we're not at each other throats all the time." She felt more than a little awkward and knew that it sounded suspicious – going off to meet Severus on a Sunday night.

"That was awfully…nice of him to agree to…as its _Sunday_ ," Hermione said, her brow furrowing with doubt. Hermione was far too clever, and Hannah knew she'd be on to her far too soon for comfort. Either she'd discover the truth, or she'd think they were up to no good, and Hannah wished beyond all that was holy that getting up to no good with Severus _could_ be the reason she was spending time with him. Instead, she was off to learn a potion that would prevent her from killing everyone in sight.

"I'm starting to wonder what's happened to old Snape. He's not himself, is he? I always thought he was happiest being a git. Perhaps he's sick….Nah that's just wishful thinking…" Hannah rolled her eyes and snapped at Ron. She couldn't help but feel defensive about Severus after everything he had done for her over the years – especially now that he was going to be helping her with her potions every month.

"That's more than a bit harsh don't you think?"

"You know, you could show some sensitivity now and then Ron…" Hermione sighed.

"Oh yeah, forgot about your weird…Snape's hot thing…sorry but…" Ron was looking as if he'd eaten something unpleasant and wrinkled his nose. He was looking at Hannah as if she was some strange specimen in a zoo. "I don't get it…he killed your parents!" Hannah crossed her arms defensively, wondering if he really thought she hadn't considered that.

"No. _Voldemort_ killed my parents, you know that! How on earth could he have known who that stupid prophecy was about?"

"He still didn't care if he got a _baby_ killed though, did he?" Ron said.

"He's different now. We all are. I don't think he was thinking straight when he delivered the prophecy, and he's spent my entire lifespan making up for it…"

"Huh. You got proof of that, do you? Anyway, what's the attraction? He's _old_."

"We talked about this the other day. People my own age hold no interest for me. I want someone mature…someone who _understands._ Besides that, I have no interest in anything impermanent, I want someone to settle down with."

"Alright, maybe I get that. But he's not exactly a looker, is he? And he's treated us like crap since _forever_. He _hates_ you, and it's not like he has a stellar personality that can blind you to everything else is it?" Hannah sighed. Perhaps her friends would never understand her attraction to him, but they didn't need to. It wasn't like anything could ever come of it, Hannah thought sadly.

"I think…just don't get your hopes up for anything to happen, Hannah. A harmless crush is fine, just don't expect anything else." Hermione spoke as if she thought Hannah was going to attempt to seduce the man over a steaming cauldron during their lesson. Besides, she realised he might still return to treating her as badly as he had done before, and it was with regret that she realised that just might be exactly what she needed to get over her ridiculous infatuation. Still, the thought of the prospect truly terrified her.

When Hannah entered the potions classroom, Severus had already set up a silver cauldron and was placing ingredients around it. The only things she recognised were silver powder and purple Wolfsbane. There was an exceptionally large amount of the latter, and she noted with irony that it was clearly the base of the potion, finding herself deeply regretting her dismissal of its use last month when Professor Sprout had them study it. Heading towards him, she nervously sat at the workbench in front of the cauldron watching silently but appreciatively. Lastly, he placed three very strange but beautiful flowers she had never seen before on the worktop. Once everything was set up, he finally looked up and acknowledged her presence.

"Practise, Patience and Perseverance Procure Potent Potions, Miss Potter. I'm sure that if you remember that – you will, over time, be able to master this potion." In her nervous state, Hannah couldn't help but snort. _Snape_ had hardly been fair to her in her previous years, and she couldn't help but feel a little resentful with Severus for her lack of achievement. She folded her arms in mild irritation.

"Yeah, and Inadequate Instruction Inevitably Induces Improper…Infusions!" Severus lifted his eyebrow looking amused.

"Pleased with yourself are you?"

"…Indubitably!" Hannah replied nonchalantly, and to her surprise he quietly chuckled– he actually _chuckled_ , and his mouth curled up into a small smile. Hannah appreciated the deep, resonating sound of it. She smiled back at him feeling some of the tension dissipate, and she wondered if they really were going to get along after all.

"You make it sound like we are brewing tea, I can assure you this task will be far more challenging than that! I admit I have been unduly…harsh in your teaching. Hopefully, we will be able to put that behind us. Now, unfortunately, this potion cannot be stored. It must be made and consumed freshly every day for six days before the full moon and finally, on the day of the full moon as well. _When brewing is successful_ , it takes between an hour and an hour and a half to make. Some of the ingredients are, regrettably, expensive and rare. I think its best that for the next few days you simply observe and remember my instructions." Hannah frowned, adding up in her head. She would be spending about ten hours in a week brewing the same potion, and she wondered if the house elves felt as disheartened when cooking the student's meals every day.

Hannah sat patiently watching him as he skilfully sliced and diced ingredients. Two of the flowers she hadn't recognised turned out to be passiflora and valerian – both plants that were apparently known for their sedative effects, even in the muggle world. Hannah supposed this combination probably made some kind of sense, at least if you wanted to snuff it. Wolfsbane is usually poisonous, and the other plants could knock you out for six – she was waiting for the part where he would say if she didn't do something properly she'd die. The third flower turned out to be moondew, which apparently had some healing properties. Hannah vaguely remembered using it in her draught of the living death – another ominous sign. It didn't take long to figure out why the potion was so tricky. It wasn't the ingredients or even their preparation. It was the timings. Everything had to be added and stirred at very exact times, in equally precise ways. He had to add wolfsbane leaves precisely three seconds after smoke begins to appear, add silver and – as Severus put it, stop adding just before you think you should when a silver gleam would then shine on the surface of the potion, whatever that meant. Not to mention all of the high heat, low heat, high heat, heat off. When it does this, when it does that. Everything was about observation, and even Severus didn't take his eyes off it for the first forty-five minutes or so of brewing. She really did try to take everything in, but near the end, she ended up staring at his hands. Severus had nice hands, she decided. Skilled hands. Long, thin dextrous fingers with meticulously filed nails…hands that could…Hannah jumped out of her reverie when Severus spoke;

"Now we leave it until it goes a pale pastel green. This can take anywhere from ten to twenty minutes, and then you _immediately_ add the petals from the Wolfsbane flowers, just let them float on the surface – they'll dissolve." She was almost disappointed that she couldn't just sit there and watch him work a bit longer. After a few minutes sat in silence watching the potion, Hannah childishly blurted out the question that had been on her mind in Severus' classroom the afternoon she had been attacked.

"Do you still hate me? How come…I mean…you're being…nice to me." He looked at her sharply and studied her eyes, as he too often seemed to do. He shook his head.

"What a childish question. No, I don't hate you. I thought I did, before last year. You _were_ exceedingly irritating. _Always_ getting yourself into danger – _still_ getting yourself into danger I might add, and you reminded me of someone I hated. Last year I realised you're…your own person. In the beginning, I had to be cruel to you in order to keep up appearances. I confess convincing myself that you were a clone of your father made that regrettably easy. Add that to your aptitude for seeking trouble…As to _being nice_ …I've been known to be palatable on occasion. _If I try really hard_." She grinned foolishly at his last comment and avoided his gaze, pretending to look at the cauldron. It was a much more comprehensive answer than Hannah could have hoped for, so she decided to push her luck with further questions.

"Was my father really that much of a di…um…swine…as you put it?" Severus sighed and shook his head.

"He grew up to be…honourable. Nobody can say he didn't die bravely. But I wouldn't have bet on him being capable of the selflessness you proved to have in May. Why the questions? Is my surprising tolerance for your presence overwhelming you? Most of my non-Slytherin students care little for my opinion of them."

"Oh. Well, yeah I guess it is overwhelming. We've been at each other throats for years. It's just nice to hear some clarification that's all…and I do care for your opinion – I respect your knowledge and skill. Your memories really made me realise that you're actually a very _good_ person despite how you had to act during the war."

" _Hannah_ , the memories you witnessed that night…they…" But whatever Severus was going to say was lost. He quickly got up and added the petals to the potion between them, which went a beautiful pastel blue. It became deceptively enticing and began to smoke slightly.

"If at this stage the potion remains green, it will be ineffective but harmless. You will need to begin again. If it goes purple, or dark blue, it will be poisonous, and unless you have a death wish, you will begin again. Nobody has bothered to invent an antidote." There it was, she knew it was coming, the death threat of the day. Five points to Gryffindor, she thought wryly. Severus poured the potion into a half-pint goblet and passed it to her. All that work for such a small amount. Hannah wrinkled her nose and looked at him doubtfully.

"Stop delaying the inevitable, you know what to do." She drank it as fast as she could, feeling the sharp sting of regret as she did so. Literally. Despite its appearance, it was the most disgusting thing she had ever tasted. It felt as if she was drinking condensed stinging nettles and its aftertaste would probably linger for hours.

"No offence Sev…Professor. But that was foul! Have you ever tried this?" He shook his head. No. He was smarter than that.

"There's nothing to be done about the taste I'm afraid – you'll get used to it, I'm sure." He was smiling wryly at her, trust him to be amused at her discomfort. She seriously doubted she could acquire a taste for it, but hoped he was right all the same. Her heart sank at the prospect of drinking this every day for a week, every month…forever.

"Well, now I have even more respect for Remus," she said quietly. If Severus heard, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Same time tomorrow, Miss Potter."

"Thanks, Professor. Goodnight." Hannah left the classroom wondering what he was going to say before the potion had so rudely interrupted them. She also found herself musing on what she had done last year for him to change his mind about her. At least she would get the chance to ask him tomorrow when they would be waiting for the colour to change again.

The following morning, the sight of Hannah's breakfast made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't help but push her scotch pancake around the plate in dismayed disgust. All she wanted it seems, was a good steak – preferably rare, or blue. If wanting steak for breakfast wasn't strange enough, the fact that she outright hated steak only made it even weirder. Perhaps she could sneak into the kitchens later and ask the elves to prepare it for her, they did seem to enjoy pampering visitors. By the time the day's lessons were over, Hannah was almost excited about the prospect of watching Severus prepare her potion again. _Almost_ , because she knew that in the end she was going to have to drink it, and now she knew what horrors awaited her within the small blue liquid.

Just as he had the day before, when she arrived at the potions classroom, Severus had laid out all the ingredients ready, and she sat patiently watching him. He didn't speak much this time, mostly just letting her observe the process until the time came to patiently wait for the colour change.

"Out of curiosity…yesterday, you said something about…something I did changed your mind about me. What was it?" Severus spoke quietly without looking away from the cauldron, as if he didn't want to tell her, but would reluctantly do so anyway.

"You did something I didn't think you were capable of. When Albus told me you would have to sacrifice yourself, I'm ashamed to say…I didn't think you would. Very few people are capable of such selflessness. I knew you wouldn't run, but I thought…I did not believe your intent would not be strong enough for The Dark Lord's curse to kill the part of his soul that was within you. When you found me in the shack, and you informed me of the night's events – _alive_ , I promised to do Albus justice, and attempt to see you with eyes unclouded. He had always insisted you were not who I believed you to be. So far, I have failed to prove him wrong. To my intense surprise, treating you humanely seems to have yielded acceptable results, so far."

"Oh, well…thanks. I'm glad we're finally seeing eye to eye." Hannah said lamely. A willingness to die for everyone else and not doing it for selfish reasons. That's what changed his mind. Somehow she hoped it might have been something _nicer_. She was grateful, but the memory of his angry protests at having been found alive burned in her mind almost amusingly. "You were such a git that night though. Do you have any idea how difficult you were being? It was almost impossible to get you back to the castle, I nearly just knocked you out and levitated you. I know you were in pain but jeez, was there any need to tell me that my insufferable hero complex should have got me killed? You'd have thought you wanted to die."

"I did drift in and out of consciousness, and in and out of indecision. I was ready to die just as much as I wanted to live. Your arrival seemed to take the choice away from me. Besides, I've spent most of my life working to protect you. I didn't know where I would fit in after the war."

"To die and be free of pain, or to live and fight your sorrow. I can empathise with that. You didn't suddenly feel free of me?"

"I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking. I was delirious. I think you've got enough out of me today, tell me. What were you thinking when you walked into the forest that night, knowing you would die?" His dark eyes looked into hers again with the same penetrating look - as if he was looking into her soul. Keeping her eyes on his, Hannah thought for a moment and decided to try and make light of the situation in an attempt not to feel vulnerable under his intense scrutiny.

"Mostly I was thinking, _I'm about to die and bloody Aberforth made my last meal!_ " A moment of silence passed until the air filled with his laughter again and Hannah happily sniggered along too.

"Perhaps you _are_ a typical teenager after all. Only thinking of your stomach in such dire circumstances. I almost believe you!"

"Hey! You _think_ I'm joking, but there I was walking to my doom, and his bloody bread was sat in my stomach like a rock. It was all I could think of!" But once the laughter was over, she felt the dark shadow prod at her again, creeping over her like it was growing. She decided to tell him the truth of it, the truth was the least she owed him.

"Honestly, I was just glad for it to be over, glad that my part had been played… right at the end when he pointed his wand at me…I was thinking thank fuck it's not the snake." Severus was watching her eyes again and it was her turn to ask;

"What about you? When you realised Voldemort was going to…"

"The same. Despite knowing I still had work to do, I was glad it was over. I was ready." He said without hesitation. "Except for the last part. After thinking _by the fucking snake,_ I was inwardly laughing at the irony of being killed by a bloody snake." They smiled sadly at each other. A strange thing to have in common Hannah thought - the same feelings about their own demise. They sat in companionable contemplative silence for a few moments more before once again, Severus put the petals into the cauldron, and it turned blue. This time she held her nose as she drank it to try and combat the taste. It did not work.

 **Tuesday**

Hannah felt Severus' patient gaze on her as she prepared some of the ingredients under his instruction, and he quietly and calmly corrected her mistakes.

"Have you any further thoughts about what you're going to do after your exams? Do you still want to be an Auror?"

"Yes, I think so, but I've been trying not to think about it too much. I don't even know if the Ministry employs werewolves. I think Remus said something about that toad Umbridge making new laws so they couldn't get jobs, and I know Remus struggled all his life anyway…" Hannah said disheartened. Severus looked thoughtful.

"That's true. However, Kingsley is Minister for Magic now. The most draconian laws have been repealed already, and those that remain will probably not survive for long. You should apply regardless. Nobody will know unless you tell them, and it will take a few months for anyone to work it out. I trust you're already painfully aware that most Ministry employees are idiots. Besides, by then I'm sure you will have made such an impression that they will decide to keep you regardless." She couldn't tell if the last part was honesty or sarcasm and she eyed him suspiciously.

"Is that what you would do? Just lie about it?" Severus rolled his eyes as if to say _obviously_.

"You wouldn't be telling any lies, you'd just be omitting a fact they did not ask. It's not like you will need to tick a _yes_ or _no_ box for werewolf. I don't want to see you give up on all of your ambitions just because of this. Besides, as it's you, they will probably make an exception." He was probably correct she thought, and she decided that come January she would apply for jobs along with her fellow classmates.

When the potion was finished, she downed it quickly and tried not to let the potion meet her tongue, hoping that the taste wouldn't linger. It did not work.

 **Wednesday**

For the first time in a long while, Hannah was feeling impressed with herself. She had managed to prepare all of the ingredients Severus asked her to prepare without any criticism from him. Despite knowing this was no mean feat, she couldn't help but feel a little down. While waiting for the potion to brew, she found herself absent-mindedly wondering about Severus' Patronus. She'd only ever witnessed it in person once, and she'd seen it once in his memories. It was a beautiful doe, and she wistfully realised the effigy of his soul would match her stag perfectly.

"Professor, whenever I cast my Patronus, he just runs off looking for dementors. How did you manage to control yours when you lead me to the sword? And how do you make them speak? Nobody ever bothered to teach me that." Severus looked confused, probably wondering what on earth that had to do with brewing Wolfsbane potion and why she was so distracted when she was supposed to be concentrating on learning how to make it.

"Practise. Magic is all about intent, as you know. I suspect whenever you have cast your Patronus before, you have been in danger. That would be reflected in the outcome of the spell. You simply have to cast it with the intent of keeping it close to you – then you can easily direct it. Give it a try, we have a few minutes." She stood up, picked up her wand and thought of a happy memory, much the same as she had always done and focused on keeping the stag within the room.

"Expecto Patronum." Try as she might, at the last moment she felt the deep soul aching sorrow that had settled in her heart, and a deep sense of melancholy and loss overtook her. Embarrassingly, for the first time in a very long time, a small amount of white smoke hovered in the room before dissipating. Her stag was nowhere to be seen, and she wondered if she'd ever manage to see it again. Severus was looking into her eyes her again. Looking into her soul.

"Never mind, forget I asked." She could feel tears prickling her eyes, but managed to control it. Trust her to fail a spell she'd known for over five years in front of Severus Snape.

"Try not to worry about it, we all have off days, and that is an exceptionally difficult spell. Only those of us who have experienced true pain are capable of recognising fleeting moments of true joy. Such things are lost to the average person. Besides, most people never even bother to try and learn it at all, and you managed it when you were what, thirteen?" Wiping a stray tear from her eye she sent him a small smile. Severus was kind, Hannah thought. Not in an obvious way. He was never going to be a cuddly kind of kind, but Hannah realised his days mocking her were over.

Her dark shadow seemed to be growing out of control, and she recognised her failed Patronus as evidence of its presence. She had been quiet for the past week during class and hadn't really been engaging in conversation with anyone but Severus. Somehow talking to him was becoming remarkably easy, and she wondered if that was because he was the only person she interacted with who knew what she was going through. It wasn't helping her with her infatuation, however, and she felt as if they were growing closer by the day, with her respect and understanding of the man only growing. She didn't think Ron and Hermione had noticed anything out of place yet – they were too busy fawning all over each other and _studying_. She supposed that they would probably grow apart from her a little now they were a couple, and while that saddened her, she knew that was the way of the world, and she was just going to have to accept it. Still, she felt like they were her only true friends, and it was going to be a difficult ride watching them from the sidelines. She shook her head at her overly dramatic thoughts. They'd been through far too much together for them to abandon her, and she knew her two greatest friends would always be there for her. Or, at least they _would_ be when they finally stopped fawning over each other every second of every day.

Perhaps it was just the fear that was stopping her from telling them, she thought. Once she had actually experienced the full moon, she would know exactly what to expect and get just get on with it from then on. Perhaps then she could tell Ron and Hermione, so they wouldn't be upset that she'd hidden it for too long.

When the potion was ready, she drank some ice-cold water hoping it would kill her taste buds. It did not work

 **Thursday**

Hannah entered the potions classroom with a bottle of fire whisky in hand, and Severus frowned disapprovingly when he saw it.

"I hope you realise I will not allow you to drink that while we're brewing? It's dangerous enough in here with you sober."

"You've got that right! But I was wondering…would it interfere with the potion if I drank a little, you know, just a mouth full before drinking the fruits of our arduous labour?" He eyed her sceptically, folded his arms and shook his head smiling wryly.

"I suppose I don't see why not. I highly doubt it will make a difference to the taste though." Forty-five minutes later they were once again waiting for the colour change.

"Did my mother really never speak to you again after the day you called her a…" She hesitated, realising that her thoughts had wandered far enough and left the question hanging in the air.

"No." He said irritably, as if the question annoyed him. Hannah got the impression that he was more irritated at himself for answering it, and was surprised when he continued in a softer tone. "I don't blame her, I was too far gone by then. I didn't realise how far I'd fallen until it was…too late."

"Seems like she over-reacted to me, I mean you call her names, and she never speaks to you again. I'm amazed you could love someone for that long despite…" Not allowing her to finish her sentence, he interrupted her with a firm, yet apologetic tone.

" _Hannah_. You must understand, when I revealed my memories to you, I was dying, unable to speak and desperate for you to believe me. I had no choice but to _make you_ believe me, or _everything_ would be lost. Your mother was a very dear friend to me in my youth, and I did grow up with her. Never-the-less I was not in love with her, she was more akin to a sister. I'm not even sure I had the ability to feel anything other than anger so strongly at that time, but I did love her as my friend. I manipulated my memories in an attempt to make them seem…more trustworthy. Don't you think it unlikely that at fifteen years of age I would fall in love with someone and _never_ get over it, even after twenty odd years? Isn't that more like obsession than love? Such Gryffindor romanticism you believe in." He was looking at her with his eyebrow raised as if she was incredibly naïve. Perhaps she was, she _had_ believed that after all.

"Well, when you put it that way. But then why did you protect me for so long?"

"I still owed your mother, it was still my fault she died. I had nothing to…it gave me a reason to stay…that's all I have to say on the matter." She suspected that the unspoken truth was that he needed something to fight for and keep him on the side of good, but she thought better of questioning him any further. In her opinion, it was most definitely Voldemort's fault her parents died, but she said nothing, not wanting to antagonise him. The knowledge that he had not loved her mother in the way she thought he had made her far happier than it should. After all, it wasn't as if he could ever love _her_ , Hannah Potter. Yet, somehow it seemed less inappropriate to be finding him so interesting now that she knew he hadn't loved her mother.

"Thanks." She said simply, laughing when he rolled his eyes.

"Stop grovelling, it doesn't suit you. You've thanked me enough."

As Severus added the petals to the potion, Hannah unscrewed the fire-whisky bottle and went to take a swig, pausing when she noticed Severus glare at her.

"What?" She said. Severus grabbed another two goblets and passed it to her.

"If you insist on drinking that, you can at least be civilised about it! For all my efforts you can pour me one too!"

"Fine. Thanks, Professor, it's nice to know I make you turn to drink," she said cheekily as she poured a small amount into each goblet. She drank deeply, holding it in her mouth for a second or two, relishing in the burn. She then quickly downed her potion, hoping the lingering burn from the whisky would finally conquer the taste. It still didn't work, and as she pulled a face at the lingering stinging sensation, she saw Severus casually lean against the table, shamelessly taunting her as he raised his glass in a toast before enjoying his own drink.

 **Friday**

Severus had readied two cauldrons and explained that Hannah would brew a potion alongside his from now on. She only managed to complete three or four steps before it turned into a useless brown gloop and began pouring out thick black smoke. He sighed and banished her potion, but he didn't seem too agitated by her failure, and he was looking at her with kind eyes.

"Don't worry about it, you're already doing better than I anticipated at this stage," he said. Sitting down on the bench opposite Severus, she couldn't help but feel her nerves amplifying about her impending transformation tomorrow, and she tapped her fingers on the bench rhythmically as her thoughts wandered. It occurred to her that perhaps Severus had set up two cauldrons in an attempt to keep her mind off it. It had worked. While she was working, she had managed to focus on just the potion. Well, the potion and Severus' silky voice. Well, his voice and his Hands, she thought. His hands were the only part of his body ever really visible as he always wore a Victorian style cloak with ridiculously long sleeves, especially for a potions master.

She didn't have the energy for conversation today and found herself gazing absently into space. He must have noticed but said nothing. Once the potion was complete, she merely took her punishment without attempting to negate the taste.

"You're afraid," he said simply.

"Yes." Tears were forming in her eyes, but she managed not to shed any.

"Understandable. You also have no desire to talk about it." He stated. Astute, she noted, Severus was also astute.

"No. But…" she knew it was far too much to ask of him, but she couldn't face it alone. "Will you come with me? Tomorrow I mean?" She heard nothing in reply but the sounds of silence. She thought it might go on forever, and he was looking at her sadly. She already knew he was going to say no.

"I…that would be improper." He eventually replied. "I'm lead to believe it's a rather…personal experience, and not something people like others to see. Surely there's someone more appropriate you can ask." She looked into his eyes, pleading with him, and she involuntarily grasped his hand as if by instinct. It was like there was a magnet drawing her close to him, and she'd been unable to stop herself from moving closer.

"No, there isn't. You're the person I trust the most. _Please_?" She said quietly, almost begging as she clutched at his hand tightly.

"Fine," he snapped, withdrawing his hand from hers, and despite his irritated tone, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. "I'll await you outside the room of requirement with your potion already prepared at seven."

"Thank you, I know it's asking a lot." His face darkened, and he nodded.

"Yes, you are, and Potter, do ensure you bring extra clothes. Bear in mind that whatever you wear will likely…not survive," he said scowling at her. She was glad he'd reminded her, the thought hadn't really occurred to her, and she definitely didn't want him to see _that_. She felt her cheeks darken at the prospect, but she was glad she wouldn't have to face it alone.

"Thanks, Professor. Goodnight." She said as she reluctantly left him to return to her dormitory.


	4. Lupus Sub Luna

Chapter Four

Lupus sub luna

Severus Snape was developing a serious problem. He was beginning to become _attached_ to someone. Not just any someone either. Hannah bloody Potter. _Severus Snape_ was becoming attached to _Hannah Potter_. It was something he'd have thought unthinkable, yet the presence of the girl was beginning to feel welcoming and comfortable. He always knew she was going to be the death of him. Where Voldemort had failed, she would succeed. She would always be brave, of that he was certain, but when she looked at him with such uncharacteristic vulnerability in her eyes and asked him to accompany her – he couldn't resist, he'd agreed. Against his better judgment, he'd found himself pathetically unable to reject her beautiful emerald eyes. Eyes he knew to be unlike any others, revealing a soul far older than her years, yet still strangely pure. Eyes that called to him strangely, begging him to look into her mind. Eyes that were marred with a quiet fear.

Her acts of bravery were always loud and impressive, generally out in the open for everyone to see, and _always_ without any deep thought into the consequences for herself. However, when she was frightened, she kept calm and carried on as best she could, even if deep down she was suffering. He'd discovered she was loudly brave, but quietly fearful. It was abundantly obvious that Albus had worked his magic on her. The old man had instigated an inner strength in her that few would ever learn to possess. Severus had never been more wrong than when he'd called her weak during her occlumency lessons. He knew she tended to keep her pain secret whenever she could, and he worried that this new curse would be the last straw. Worryingly, she failed to produce a Patronus a few days ago, and he'd bet his last Knut that she hadn't failed that spell for a very long time, even when under extreme duress.

Severus had been quietly watching her since she had returned to school, attempting to unravel her true nature. He had watched her even more closely after the attack and had come to a strange realisation. He, Severus Tobias Snape, found that perhaps remarkably, did not dislike her. He'd even enjoyed the time they spent making her potion over the previous week. In time, he thought they might even become friends of sorts. Despite what he'd thought, she had proven herself thoughtful and respectful, even if she didn't always express her ideas particularly articulately. He had even found her _amusing_ over the past week, albeit understandably nosy.

The girl had brashly asked him questions he shouldn't want to answer, and yet he had found himself despicably happy to answer them. By now, he was unsurprised that for the most part, she had kept her head up and just dealt with the cards fate had given her. She'd been reasonably respectful and had made no attempt to resume the childish fighting they'd done throughout her entire school career. He had no choice but to acknowledge she had grown up, but he dared not think of her as a woman, burying any thoughts pertaining to her physical beauty deep within his mind. The last year had aged her, and he could see it in her eyes as well as in her demeanour. Albus had been completely right with his assessment of her true personality, but _of course_ he had, Albus was always right. Severus never expected her to forgive him for her parent's deaths, yet after the battle, she had. Immediately and unquestioningly. She'd even _thanked_ him. He almost found it insulting – as if his crimes were nothing, and he'd needn't have bothered repenting for them.

Too many reasons not to hate her seemed to be flooding his mind, and he'd found himself remarkably unable to treat her the way he had treated her before this year. Despite his traditional love of being a complete bastard to her, he suspected he'd never truly be able to be cruel to her again.

He sighed, grabbed her newly completed potion, and headed to the room of requirement. It was a room he'd neglected since his own school days, when he'd use it to hide from his classmates and practise dark magic. He didn't know if what he was about to do was right or wrong, but she'd asked him, and he'd agreed. If he was nothing else, he was a man of his word. While he was glad he could be of some comfort, he certainly wasn't looking forward to her agonising transformation, and though he doubted she would want him to watch it, he silently prayed she wouldn't ask it of him. He thought long and hard, but he completely failed to understand _why_ she had asked _him._ Surely he was the last person she would want around. Regretfully, as far as he knew, Minerva and Rubeus were the only others who knew about her condition – she still hadn't told any of her friends. Perhaps that was the only reason she had asked him, she couldn't actually _like_ his presence, after all. She probably just trusted him enough to ask for help. Though she had told him he was the person she trusted most, it was a statement he found confusingly heartening, but hard to believe.

Several minutes after arriving at the tapestry guarding the room, Severus saw Hannah head towards him looking understandably apprehensive.

"Good evening, Severus." He nodded, deciding that Hannah was probably right and that this situation was far beyond formalities.

"I suspect you have a great deal more experience with this room than I do. What do you intend to ask of it?" She thought for a moment, seemingly not having thought too hard about it before now.

"I suppose…I need a safe place for werewolf transformations, but I'm guessing it doesn't really matter. I mean I'll still be me, right? Just a bit more…hairy. I just need somewhere I can't be interrupted, where I don't have to worry about being discovered." A bit more hairy? That was an understatement he thought, desperately hoping she was mentally prepared for what was about to happen.

"Essentially, but I think you're right to ask for something specific. It will be interesting to see what the castle provides." Hannah walked in front of the tapestry, thinking hard and after a few seconds, the door appeared.

"After you," he said. Hannah walked through the door and ever cautious, Severus swiftly followed her inside after checking no-one had seen them.

Even after nearly thirty years of knowing the castle, its magic was capable of stunning even some its longest standing residents. The room had transformed itself into a seemingly endless forest, similar to the forbidden forest. The ceiling had transformed into an exact copy of the night sky outside, with her celestial highness shining brightly above them. The room had given Hannah the tools to easily estimate the time he realised. He passed her the potion, but she was scowling at the moon with her arms folded, clearly not in the mood for appreciating the wondrous magic the castle could provide.

"Better not forget _this,_ " he said. Hannah drank it quickly and without complaint. "Getting used to it?" Hannah shuddered and shook her head.

"No, just gave up trying to escape it…and only one month in!" They stood in silence for a few awkward minutes with a general aura of fear and apprehension in the air.

"When it begins, you should head further into the forest…out of sight." He inwardly cringed, realising she probably thought he wouldn't accept her.

"Yeah. Probably best, I don't think I'm ready for anyone to see it, not even…" she shook her head, and he noticed her cheeks colour a little. "Just knowing someone's here helps. A lot. How much longer do you think it'll be?" She was rubbing her crossed arm in an unconscious defensive gesture, and he remembered his previous assessment of her quietly fearful nature.

"Not long, it's impossible to be exact, but within half an hour or so of our arrival." She simply nodded, accepting her fate. They stood leaning against a tree in awkward but companionable silence for a few moments more, until Hannah inhaled loudly and grabbed his hand tightly. He squeezed it back, not wanting to admit that he didn't want her to let go. When she looked up at him, her eyes were dilating strangely.

"Go." Rushing away from him, he saw her grab her wand before she retreated out of sight. He expected to hear her screams almost immediately. The slow transformation from human to wolf was always going to be unbearably painful. Despite this, a disconcerting, unearthly silence prevailed. It was an unnatural kind of silence. The kind he knew could only be accomplished with the aid of a silencing charm. He didn't know whether she had done it out of embarrassment for herself, or if she was merely sparing him having to listen. Either way, Severus felt a twinge of guilt as he realised he was glad she had done it.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, he took a deep breath, grasped his wand and headed deeper into the room, or woods, or whatever this place was. A short walk later, she came into view. Ripped clothes covered the forest floor, and a large ebony wolf with a thick, fluffy coat– the same colour as the hair on human Hannah's head, was pacing angrily but silently. As she turned, he noticed a thin silvery line on her forehead where he supposed her scar should be. She had a kind of ethereal beauty to her, and he still refused to acknowledge that the human Hannah was also beautiful.

Her silencing charm must have remained active because he couldn't hear her pacing. He cancelled it, and the sound of her paws on leaves, along with a low growl began to reach his ears. Instinct was telling him either to run or to attack. Every fibre of his being told him that this _creature_ was dangerous. He ignored the feeling, having belief in his potion and faith that Hannah would remain herself under its influence, unlike the weak Mathilda.

"Hannah?" She looked up at him with her ridiculously beautiful, soulful and most importantly, human eyes. She had a look of utter defeat and huffed in an irritated manner.

"You put up a silencing charm, I didn't know…How are you feeling?" The wolf growled loudly and angrily, exposing its teeth. He almost laughed. Clearly, she was fine, and just feeling sorry for herself, so he gave her a stern, intimidating look.

" _My_ , what big _teeth_ you have!" Severus said sarcastically as he folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at her. She looked as affronted as a wolf could, snorted and sat down, looking as if she was asking him "what now?" as if _he_ somehow knew what she was supposed to do all night. Not for the first time, it hit home that they were going to suffer through a very long night together.

"Don't look at me like that! Perhaps if you had paid more attention in occlumency, we could have moved on to legillimency, and we would _now_ have a viable means of communication!" The remark earned him another disgruntled growl, and he supposed he was probably being unfair. "Are you not tired?" He said softening his tone. "Wolfsbane should make you drowsy enough that you sleep through the night." She didn't _look_ tired, and the wolf shook its head. He was starting to worry that his unconventional addition of moondew had unintendedly induced insomnia. Luckily for him, _he_ had shrunk a book and tucked it away in his robes. _She_ would not be so lucky. If she couldn't sleep, it would be a very long night indeed.

Severus grabbed his book and gestured towards a nearby tree. Hannah wisely kept her distance but followed as he sat leaning against its trunk. She must have made the fatal mistake of believing he would read to her, because she stared at him for several minutes before giving up and beginning to pace angrily again. After about an hour of aimlessly wandering, she stopped and appeared to be thinking. A book appeared in front of her, something she must have requested from the room. Severus snorted at her, shaking his head.

"And what exactly do you expect to do with that?" Ignoring his comment, Hannah deftly scratched underneath the book with her paw and picked it up in her mouth by its spine, before heading towards Severus and plonking it next to him. Irritated, he glared at her and looked at the muggle book she had conjured.

" _Frankenstein_? Oh, no. Absolutely not." At least the girl had kept a sense of irony and humour– her mind currently trapped in a body cruelly inflicted upon her, Severus thought while vowing never to read for her. Ever. He put the book down, shaking his head at her.

"I'll not be reading you bedtime stories, you should try and _sleep_ ," he said, returning to his own book. She resumed her pacing and nervously glanced at the moon. While he understood her frustration, he was tired and beginning to get irritated. He kept half an eye on her as he continued to read, and at one point he was sure he saw her try to sniff inconspicuously in his direction. After several more minutes of her insufferable wanderings, he snapped at her.

"Time will not hasten for you Hannah, and I detest repetition! Go. To. _Sleep_!" She got the message, and her ears folded to the back of her head as if _he_ was the dangerous one in the room. Looking defeated, she curled up under a tree nearby. To his immense relief, she didn't budge for the rest of the night, and though he occasionally caught her staring at him, he had to admit his eyes had been wandering over to her more often than necessary.

Severus must have fallen asleep because he awoke alone. Instantly feeling wide awake, he had a moment of panic knowing he had let his guard down in the company of a werewolf. He was an idiot. His nervousness only increased when the piercing cry of an animal filled the air, and he realised she had disappeared to transform back, the dawn having finally arrived. Despite being some distance away from her, he cringed upon hearing the snapping of bones as wolf returned to girl, and the agonising cries of an animal gradually morphed into human whimpers. He may have had little patience for her antics earlier, but he definitely felt for her now. It was agony just listening. An eternity later, silence fell upon the forest, and after two or three minutes of waiting he called out to her.

"Hannah? Are you..."

"I'm okay, just give me a minute, I just need to get dressed." Several long moments later, she appeared before him, thoroughly dishevelled, her hair tangled and bushy. She looked completely exhausted and had deep purple circles under her eyes making her appear several years older. Severus walked up to her slowly and cautiously, preparing himself for an unpredictable reaction.

"That must have been...horrific. How are you feeling?" He asked softly, finding himself unable to prevent himself from brushing some of her long hair behind her ears so he could see her face, trying to assess her.

"Sorry, I'd have put up a silencing charm but...yeah, paws." She'd clearly avoided his question, so he tried again.

"Was it as bad as you feared?" She looked away from him, scrunching up her face, and shaking her head as she sighed.

"I think the fear and anticipation is much worse than the ugh…well, whatever actually happens to me. I guess it feels…like a torture curse, but with extra bone breaking and stretching added in for fun. Um, anyway, have you seen my wand? I dropped it before…" Severus frowned at her avoidance as she changed the subject. He focused for a moment, waved his wand, and Hannah's zoomed into his free hand from the distance. For a second, he looked at it confusedly. It felt warm and comfortable, and it occurred to him that Hannah's wand might have just accepted him. Not commenting on it, he passed it to her, and she smiled gratefully.

"Actually, it's the boredom that follows that's the worst thing! The pain I can deal with. It passes after a few minutes, but what am I supposed to do for ten hours as a bloody wolf?" Looking into her eyes, it was with some disbelief he could see she was telling the truth. He frowned, thinking she'd had far too much experience with pain to dismiss it so easily.

"Sleep. That's what you're supposed to do. Did you not get any? How do you feel now, are you in any pain?"

"Exhausted, mostly. But as the wolf, I felt wide awake. I am feeling a little achy, but no, I'm not really in pain." That was something, he thought. He'd added the moondew theorising its healing properties would help her make a swifter recovery, it was the only thing he knew that wouldn't affect the potion effects. Except that it had, subtly. It had given her insomnia when the valerian should have knocked her out. Tired she may be, but hopefully, she would be spared the relentless days of pain that caused Remus to be unable to teach for a few days after the full moon. He only wished he could spare her the pain of the transformation.

"Your potion keeps me even more myself than I'd hoped. Thank you for staying, I know I wasn't much company. I'm glad that _you_ got some sleep though." She smiled and looked up at him with a strange glint in her eye before she covered a long irrepressible yawn with her hand. Strangely, he hadn't really minded keeping her company, and he'd managed to get some reading done, even if he had foolishly slept through half of the night.

"You're welcome," he said softly. "You should head to bed, you're lucky it's Sunday, you can get some rest."

"Yeah, I should be able to sleep till lunch without raising suspicion, there's no way Ron will be out of bed until noon!" She laughed and stared at him for a long moment as if she wasn't eager to escape this room and the presence of her Professor. He looked into her eyes, resisting the urge to prod into her mind. "Will _you_ get any more sleep?"

"I doubt it. I'll see you in class then, Hannah," he said gesturing to the door, "after you." Something he said made her face fall as she exited the room to sleepily head towards Gryffindor tower. Severus remained behind for a moment pondering everything that had occurred. He convinced himself that he wasn't going soft. He was just helping out a student in need. After all, he was her teacher, it was his responsibility.

HP

Hannah awoke several hours after heading to bed in the tower, feeling even more tired than before she had slept. Judging from what she had observed of Remus though, she felt much better than she thought she ought too. She was convinced their resident potions genius had altered the recipe made a mental note to check his version against the original. Never-the-less, she headed towards the great hall hoping to get some lunch and show her face to her friends. She felt overwhelming gratitude to Severus, who to her surprise had sat with her all night, even though he'd obviously found her somewhat irritating. She found herself reminiscing about how he had _smelled._ Naturally, as the wolf, everything had smelled more intensely. She liked the smell of the trees and the earth, but she had liked Severus' smell the most. It was the complexity that drew her interest. She could pick out the potions he made and the ingredients he used, the different materials in his robes and the soap he washed with. She'd even noticed the adrenaline and the salty beads of sweat that formed on his skin when he became nervous. He smelled of _himself,_ and it suited him. While she wished she could have used legillimency to talk with him to decrease the boredom, the thought of _anyone,_ even Severus in her head again was vastly unappealing. Besides, the way she had been daydreaming lately, he would see things _she_ wouldn't want to reveal, and _he_ wouldn't want to see. Hannah shook her head at her thoughts, knowing two things. Firstly, her wild imagination was getting out of hand, and secondly, that she was only setting herself up for a fall.

Neither Ron nor Hermione were at the great hall when she arrived, so she piled her plate with a little of everything, her appetite seemingly having returned after deserting her all last week. Soon after, her two best friends arrived and sat by her.

"Hungry are you?" Ron said surprised by the amount of food she had in front of her.

"Yup, missed breakfast didn't I? Went for a walk after potions, so I got back pretty late last night."

"And slept through until now? That's not like you, you don't normally sleep for long. You still look _really_ tired." Hermione said. Hannah shrugged.

"I had too many nightmares when Voldemort kept hijacking my head. Now that's stopped I can make up for it." They looked at each other, unconvinced, but didn't challenge her. "You two lovebirds have anything planned for today?" She asked trying to change the subject.

"Well...we were going to floo to Diagon Alley – to see George. Did you want to come with us?" Hermione said with a hint of trepidation in her voice. Hannah's stomach dropped to the floor knowing she wasn't feeling ready to go just yet. She still felt responsible for Fred's death. Logically she knew it wasn't her fault, but she still felt unready to face the joke shop without George's other half.

"No. You two have fun. I'll go and visit Hagrid, he's way overdue a visit. Besides, I'm not being…you know…but if I go into Diagon Alley right now, well, we'll never get out, will we?" She would be glad to spend time with someone she wouldn't have to lie to anyway, plus Hagrid would be wondering how she was now the full moon had passed.

"So…how was Snape?" Ron asked.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Yesterday. _Potions on the weekend_ , how could you forget? Still like him after your one to one tuition?" Hannah narrowed her eyes at what Ron as insinuating.

"Yes. I don't know what _you_ think was going on, but we made a draught of peace. Astonishingly, we made it in peace too."

"Well, now I definitely know you're lying! There's nothing remotely peaceful about that old git!" Snorting at Ron, Hannah couldn't help but remember the peaceful look Severus had on his face as he rested under the tree last night, though she knew Ron would never agree with her assessment.

After Ron and Hermione said their goodbyes, promising Hannah they would be back by dinner, Hannah headed down to Hagrid's hut. When she arrived, he pulled her into one of his unyielding bear hugs.

"Bout time you showed up! It's good to see yeh – tea?"

"Yes, please Hagrid." She entered the comforting warmth of his hut, and sat at his oversized table. He brought over a pot of tea, along with some of his infamous rock cakes.

"Yeh look terrible, Hannah! Full moon yesterday wasn't it? How yeh holding up?"

"Oh, it's not as bad as I thought, mostly I'm just tired. Strange being a dog for a night though," she said as she poured herself some tea. Hagrid looked almost offended.

"A wolf yeh mean! Much nobler creatures!" Fang whined in the corner. "Sorry, Fang. Glad yer o.k – P'erfessor Snape treatin yeh right in yer extra lessons is he?" Hannah smiled, realising that just thinking of Severus seemed to have that effect on her these days.

"Only you could think a werewolf was noble, Hagrid!" He bristled at that.

"Well, _you_ _are_ ain't yeh? Saved us rotten lot, didn't yeh!" Hannah wanted to say that she wasn't a werewolf at the time, not to mention being lucky, but thought better of it. Besides she'd do it all again in a heartbeat, werewolf or not.

"Severus and I are getting on famously now though, he's positively human these days. He's been really kind to me – plus he's been really patient in my extra lessons," she gushed, smiling, realising it was true. Severus had turned a new leaf. He'd been patient with her.

"Is that right. _Severus_ now is it?" he said confusedly. "Bet you were glad to av is potions last night tho ay?" Hannah shuddered. Sure she'd been bored, and it had been painful, but she didn't ever want to go savage.

"Yeah, I'm betting he changed the recipe though because I don't feel half as bad as I thought I would."

" _That_ sounds more like im. So, what did the famous duo av ter say about yer newfound love o steak?" She'd hoped he wouldn't ask her that.

"Well...Hagrid, this is going to sound bad, but... I haven't told them yet. I just... want to get my head around it all first." Hagrid looked surprised at this revelation.

"Blimey, you three are thick as thieves, I don't blame yeh fer keeping it to yerself for a bit, but yeh gotta tell em. Yeh know it won't make em see yeh any different! They'll love yeh just the same!"

"I know," she sighed. "They're busy…um…re-evaluating their relationship with each other right now anyway. They don't need my problems too." Hagrid laughed heartily.

"That yer way o saying they can't keep emselves to emselves is it?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she sniggered.

"Don't you worry. They aint never gonna ferget _you_!"

"Is there anything I can do to help you out? Any animals need feeding, or any gardening to do?" She'd been trying to think of things to take her mind off everything, and helping out Hagrid could help her keep her mind clear of her shadow. Hagrid suddenly looked stern, and she already knew what he was going to say.

"Fraid not, everthins taken care of. Besides you look like yeh could do with some kip, not workin out ere on a Sunday! No, you focus on restin and yeh classes." Disheartened, but not wanting to impose, all Hannah could do was agree. After finishing her tea, she regretfully headed back to the dormitories alone.

For the following two weeks of defence lessons, Severus went far too easy on her. He paired her with Neville for duelling practice three lessons in a row, and while Neville had bloomed over the past year, she was worried that Severus thought she was somehow weaker now. She felt unchallenged and bored. Desperate to release some pent-up energy, and secretly wanting to impress him, in her their next defence lesson she asked for something unexpected, even to her.

"Professor? I was wondering if I might be paired with Draco today?" A deafening kind of silence fell upon the room, and Severus eyed her suspiciously. Perhaps he thought she wanted to curse Draco into oblivion. Perhaps secretly he wanted that too because he surprised her when he responded.

"As you wish. Mr Malfoy, – with Miss Potter." He said, gesturing for Draco to go over to Hannah's side of the room. Draco looked her up and down with a sneer on his face, and Ron and Hermione looked at her with shocked expressions. They obviously thought she was either mad or suicidal.

"We might have saved each other's lives during the _war_ , but don't think we're friends, _Potter_!" He spat out the words looking disgruntled as Hannah rolled her eyes at him.

"Look, I didn't want to split the lovebirds over there up, and I need a challenge. I was hoping you would oblige, surely I'm more of a challenge than _Pansy Parkinson?!"_ He considered for a few seconds looking conflicted, before begrudgingly agreeing.

"Well, you got me there." Smirking, he sent the first curse wordlessly, taking her by surprise. She didn't have time to deflect it, and she fell back onto the floor with a thud.

"Mr Malfoy! Kindly _wait_ until I give you permission to begin!" Severus snapped as he glared at him.

Duelling Draco had been a good idea. Their natural competitiveness towards each other had proved to lend itself well. It had been a challenging hour. Restricting herself to wordless magic, she had only won narrowly and had succeeded in her goal. She'd managed to keep her thoughts on the duel, forgetting her worries, even if only for an hour. She noticed that Severus kept at least half an eye on her throughout the lesson, and he asked her to wait behind again at the end.

"I'm glad to see that you're not dwelling on your…situation, Hannah."

"What's the point?" She said, shrugging, "might as well do the best I can in the circumstances, right?" She wasn't exactly lying, but she squirmed a little under his scrutiny, knowing that it wasn't exactly true either. She _was_ dwelling, and she _knew_ it.

"Indeed. You must have been restless to challenge Draco, I shall bear that in mind for next time. Now, tell me. When do we need to begin brewing your potions?" Hannah blinked, not expecting the question. Thinking fast, she calculated that the full moon was two weeks on Monday.

"The next full moon is a week on Monday, so that means...it will be a week on Tuesday." Severus nodded, satisfied with her answer.

"Correct, I'm happy to see you can plan ahead. Being half term, or _reading_ week for _you_ next week, I doubt I will see you before then. Same time as last month, six p.m, a week on Tuesday. We can see how good your memory is. I'll be testing you."

"Thanks, Professor. I was wondering...would you be able to teach me some legillimency? It could be useful when I'm...ugh, you know. Just simple things, for communication, not rooting around in memories." Severus studied her for a while, before speaking slowly, seemingly reluctantly.

"One thing at a time. Legillimency is as complicated as occlumency, requiring the same level of patience and practise. Perhaps in a few months, we can try. Though I confess myself weary of tampering with the mind." He sighed, and Hannah agreed with him, automatically tracing the scar on the forehead with her fingers.

"Yeah, I think I've had enough of someone else in my head too. But I do trust you, and if you're willing, I'd like to try again," she said hopefully. He nodded, looking resolved.

"I can't deny that it would be useful for you. Focus on your potion making for now. You can read some books on the subject in the library, and after Christmas, we can put theory into practice." She left the room knowing she was going to be eternally grateful to him, and she vowed to find a way to pay him back for his kindness.


	5. Lupus Dormit

Chapter Five

Lupus dormit

Hannah spent the majority of the following week in the library – either trawling through legillimency texts or werewolf tomes. The latter she had to read as inconspicuously as possible, as Hermione and Ron joined her for the most part. Hermione was having her usual pre-exam panic before Christmas and Ron was simply happy to go along with her. While many of the legillimency books had proved impenetrable and confounding, the werewolf books proved to be depressing, out of date and generally inaccurate. While Professor Marlowe Forfang's studies into werewolf habits had proved an interesting and accurate account, Hannah was concerned to discover that werewolves were almost universally shunned. She even discovered that several werewolf colonies had existed in different locations around the globe, some forcibly exiled as if they were a plague. She was curious as to whether any of them still existed and if so how did they live? What were they like? Surely things weren't like that _now_? Emerett Picardy's account was frankly, ridiculous. He had argued that werewolves should be killed on sight because the curse had already destroyed their soul anyway. Hannah knew this was incorrect – had she not been able to summon Remus' soul with the resurrection stone? Still, the very idea that people might believe this concerned her. Perhaps she would one day understand just why Mathilda had given up her life.

After several trips to the library, it became abundantly clear that she already knew practically everything that was to be known. Scholars apparently knew next to nothing, as werewolves tended to keep their condition hidden. The questions she really wanted answers to – could she get married? Could she have children? Could she find decent employment? These things could never be found in books, so she gave up. Experience it seemed, would be the only true path to discovery.

Reading week came and went in the blink of an eye, and by the end of it, she was beginning to empathise with Hermione. The more she read, the more confused she became. The more confused she became, the more she wanted to read. As classes resumed, she became concerningly elated about the prospect of spending more time with Severus again. While she now had the confirmation that the full moon was definitely something to fear, time with Severus was certainly an antidote to her anxieties. Upon revising the recipe for the Wolfsbane potion, she had discovered that he had indeed altered the recipe. Moondew was not mentioned in the original. Wondering if the addition had aided her unusually fast recovery, but had also caused her insomnia, she made a mental note to ask him about it.

Looking forward to seeing him again, when Tuesday night arrived, she cheerfully headed down to the potions classroom, giving Ron and Hermione the usual 'I just have extra potions,' excuse, that technically, was no lie. She arrived about fifteen minutes early, and after setting up their two cauldrons, she sat on the desk and cheerfully practised one of her favourite spells. Just like Hermione liked to do, she had conjured several birds, and they were flying around chirping merrily when Severus entered the room. He paused as he saw them and Hannah swore she saw a smile almost threaten to grace his features.

"Do desist. You shouldn't use too much magic where you brew." Hannah pulled a face at him as the birds morphed into large black ravens that cawed and swooped at him obnoxiously before disappearing.

"If you're trying to tell me that I am as cantankerous, calculating and cranky as a corvid…then you would be correct. They are extremely interesting and intelligent animals. Thank you for the compliment." His face was graced with a small smile now, and he was clearly amused at her. Hannah smiled back and nodded in agreement.

"I love ravens, all of those things just add to their appeal. There's no falsehood with them, no pretences. Maybe I should get one instead of an owl."

"You still have no owl?" She shook her head.

"Not since Hedwig died. Guess I should stop putting it off, I'll need one for communication eventually, and a raven would be something different." Severus shrugged nonchalantly, but then raised his eyebrows at her.

"And you would bear company with something as cantankerous and moody as a raven? I do fine without one, you can just use one of the school owls while you're here anyway. Now, to the task at hand." After going into the store cupboard and collecting the ingredients they would need, they set to work. She felt much more relaxed than she did this time last month, and it seemed they had fallen into a comfortable routine already. To her dismay, it didn't take long for her to completely destroy her potion, along with the probably very expensive silver cauldron that had contained it. She sat down sulkily in disappointment, but Severus made no comment, as he banished the results of her efforts.

"How long did it take you to learn this potion?" She asked. Severus smiled wryly at her.

"I admit, it failed the first time."

"What? You succeeded the _second_ time you made it?" Hannah was amazed but supposed she really shouldn't be surprised.

"I'm insulted!" He huffed, "I did have an understanding of the principles and a fair amount of experience at the time."

"Well, when did you first brew it? I'm guessing not when Professor Lupin taught here?"

"No. The potion was invented during my last year of school. It was all over the newspapers at the time, how could I resist attempting it?"

"A fair amount of experience - at school? How on Earth did you get the ingredients?"

"Well, unlike some people, _I_ did not steal them, if that's what you're inferring. Professor Slughorn kindly allowed me the use of his potion stores. He was curious to see how I'd fare, I'm sure. For all his faults, it must be said that Professor Slughorn will always encourage his most talented students." Hannah shook her head, she had never really realised quite how brilliant he was. It was something else to add to her list.

"That's pretty amazing, you know." She hadn't meant to say it out loud and went slightly red at the confession. He must have noticed because he looked slightly uncomfortable. She hoped he wouldn't think too much about it.

"Yes, well… anyone can do great things under pressure, can they not?" He gave her a pointed look. "Potions ready, prepare yourself."

 **Wednesday**

For the second time, Hannah's appetite had been completely destroyed. Whether it was a side effect of the potion or the curse, she did not know. Whatever was causing it, she found her hankering for food she did not like extremely irritating. Swallowing her pride, she headed towards the kitchens before dinner and asked the elves if they could prepare her a barely cooked steak for dinner every day for a week. While they had seemed surprised at her request, they were far too happy to oblige and agreed to prepare it for her without question. When her appetite was sated, she headed down to the potions classroom. This time, she managed to get through about half of the potion before its unfortunate demise.

"I'm never going to learn this…potions is my worst subject…"

"Nonsense. You've had all of three attempts, remember to be patient," he said as he added the moondew to his superior brew.

"The moondew – it's not in the original recipe. Did you add it to speed up the healing process?" He looked at her as if he was surprised that she would figure that out.

"Yes, though it's what caused your insomnia. I think adding more valerian in the final dose should counteract it. Hopefully, you'll get some sleep this time." Hannah thought for a moment, having just realised something.

"Did you put any in Remus' potions?"

"No."

"Did it occur to you?" Severus rolled his eyes. Obviously, it had.

"It is an obvious addition, to me at least." Hannah felt her temper rising.

"Then, why didn't you add it?" He calmly studied her for a long moment before answering.

"I had no reason to make his transformations easier. I only made his potions at all because Albus requested it of me. At the time, as you know, I believed him partially responsible for the way things had transpired with Sirius Black – whom _all_ of us believed wanted you dead. Why _would I_ have helped him?" She considered for a second. His answer made sense…mostly, but she still felt angry on behalf of Remus, who had suffered the curse for so long.

"But you want to help _me_? Why don't you just let me suffer too?" She looked into his eyes in angry confusion, and he stared back into hers stoically, giving her no indication of his true feelings. Instantly regretting the ridiculous question, she sensed his disbelief and knew the answer before he spoke.

"I have no desire to see you suffer unnecessarily, I'm not _quite_ that sadistic." Feeling ashamed of her outburst, she calmed down immediately.

"Sorry, I know you want to help me – it's obvious. I'm just…an idiot." He shook his head.

"You're far from being an idiot. You were just angry for someone you respected. If it means anything, I'm sorry he died, I suspect you saw him as a father figure?"

"In the beginning. I suppose he was more of a friend to me in the end. I just wish he was here to advise me now." Not wanting to dwell, she decided to change the subject. "By the way, all of the school's books on werewolves are complete shite. Is that because decent books don't exist, or because the board of governors dictate what supplies we have?" Initially surprised at her drastic change of topic, Severus looked confused but then laughed.

"The libraries supply is – as you put it _shite_ because few people would dare to study transformed werewolves. Would you have ever considered it a career prospect? Such books simply do not exist. The board of governors allocate funds, but they get no say in what books are bought. You should be wary of taking accounts on the subject to heart."

"I know. There's little to know anyway I guess." Their conversation was once again cut short with the completion of the potion.

 **Thursday**

Hannah's potion was going surprisingly well, and it with pride that she had managed to get all the way to the sit and wait stage.

"Do you like teaching?" Severus snorted.

"I do not like teaching potions. Very few people care to truly _understand_ them, and it is difficult to watch so many people hate or be indifferent to something I find intensely interesting. I do, however, enjoy teaching defence. More people put the effort in. After all, if you have to, you can buy potions, the same cannot be said for the ability to defend yourself."

"What about Hermione? She seems like the kind of student you should like?" He considered for a moment, before folding his arms and she knew she wasn't going to like his answer.

"Hermione does everything by the book. Books are written by people and are therefore prone to mistakes and inaccuracies. As able as she is to memorise information and logically apply her brain, she completely lacks creativity. She is certainly intelligent, but I doubt it would even _occur_ to her to invent her own potions," he looked at Hannah cautiously, "I do not mean to insult your friend, but true potion making is art as much as it is science."

"I see what you're saying," and she could. Severus did make potion making look like an art.

"That's not to say I dislike teaching everyone _,_ Hannah. Look - try putting your petals in, quickly." She did as instructed, but the potion went a light purple instead of the pastel blue she was seeking.

"Almost," he sighed in disappointment, passing her a goblet of his own perfect potion.

 **Friday**

Once again Hannah had successfully managed to be waiting alongside Severus to add the petals. Conversation had been slow, but she found that she didn't mind. Time with him was becoming incredibly comfortable, and when they worked in silence, it just gave her the chance to study his face and admire him as they worked. It was amazing really that her potion hadn't exploded in her face with the amount of time she had spent ogling the man. While he seemed happy to answer her questions, Severus rarely appeared to feel the need to talk or ask questions, yet she never felt uncomfortable in his presence. It was a comfortable kind of silence, the kind she supposed was enjoyed by people who knew each other well and simply enjoyed the companionship. She thought perhaps he only spoke when he had substantial things to say and hoped he didn't mind when she prattled on or barraged him with personal questions. He didn't _seem_ to mind, and he hadn't told her to shut up, so she counted that as a victory. Perhaps as time went on, she might just be lucky enough for him to open up a little more to her.

Standing and leaning against the desk, she watched him work - she had started her potion a good half an hour before him under his supervision. Unusually, he had taken off his cloak, and she couldn't ever remember seeing him without it. The absence of the overlarge garment partially revealed his figure, and he looked relatively toned and even taller without it. She dared to allow her eyes to wander for longer than she suspected she should have, but something about him simply drew her eyes, and she found it impossible to look away. His shirt was still covering his dark mark, and she wondered what it might look like now that Voldemort was dead.

The shape of his body wasn't the only thing she found eyecatching. As she examined his calm and focused expression, she wondered how she could have ever found him unappealing. Something about the shape of his face appealed to her, even his angular nose, and now that she was used to seeing a more neutral expression, it was now impossible for her to fool herself into thinking she didn't find him completely beautiful. She loved his face, and she even loved the way he kept his dark hair. There seemed to be nothing she wanted more than to pull him close and run her fingers through it.

She had apparently been staring at him and daydreaming for far too long, because her potion started to make spitting noises and began to bubble uncontrollably in what seemed no time at all.

" _What_ did you _do_?" Panicking, he quickly pulled her against him and put up a hasty shield – just in time, because her potion angrily exploded all over the place. Thankfully, his potion remained intact. He released her, looking relieved but angry and she immediately missed the warmth and feel of his body against hers.

"What on Earth were you doing? Why did you leave it for so long?" In her panic, she floundered.

"You were distracting me, I couldn't help it!"

"And what about me, pray tell, was distracting you?"

His face was unbearably close to hers, and despite his anger, she was almost overcome by the sudden urge to press her lips against his. Not that she thought he would ever allow that. Staring at his mouth, she wondered what his lips would feel like against hers and what he would taste like. She then found herself fantasising about how he would kiss her back before she noticed the intensity of his gaze. Feeling herself heat up uncomfortably, she backed away from him slightly. Realising she had really put her foot in it, Hannah went positively scarlet under his scrutiny _again_ and looked away, refusing to answer. If ever there was a time she felt like a ridiculous blushing schoolgirl, it was now. Perhaps he somehow knew what she was thinking, because he dropped the subject and returned to his potion, occasionally stealing glances at her when he thought she wasn't looking.

 **Saturday**

Upon entering the classroom, Severus informed her that while she was free to stay while he worked, the school's supplies were running short and that for the rest of the week, there would only be enough to brew one potion per day. Hannah decided to stay and help him where she could, despite her embarrassment from the day before.

"Professor, is there a way to heal scars – so they disappear?"

"I'm afraid not, not with magical scars. Not once they have healed at least. Why do you ask?" She tugged unhappily at her muggle cardigan she was wearing far too often.

"I was hoping to cover up the bite mark. It's in a fairly conspicuous place. In summer…never mind," she realised that he had the same issue with the dark mark.

"I think I can empathise with that, perhaps you'll have to adopt a dress sense as sophisticated as mine? A most unfortunate fate indeed."

"Well, at least it suits you. I'm not sure I'd get away with it. Why do you always wear black though?" Severus was looking thoroughly confused at the direction the conversation as going in, but he obliged her all the same.

"Can you see me wearing the flowery hats and frankly outrageously brightly coloured robes that Albus wore?" Hannah sniggered, and her imagination took over.

"Now I'm picturing it! You know one time, Neville's boggart…um…never mind. No, you're right, black suits you – it goes with your hair, and your eyes. Your robes give you an heir of decorum and propriety." He simply shook his head, perhaps unwilling to continue with such trivial and trite conversation. "Can I ask you something…that might be offensive?"

"Yes, but obviously it might offend me," he said shrewdly with a roll of his eyes.

"Now that Voldemort's dead, what does the dark mark look like?" He sighed, and she briefly hoped he might show her, but he didn't.

"Why on earth are you interested in _that_? It simply looks like any old scar. It's pink and raised now, but it will fade to white eventually – I hope. Unfortunately, it's there to stay. If anything could remove it, I would have been rid of it years ago. Does that satisfy your curiosity?" Not wanting to antagonise him, she merely agreed.

"Yes." He was looking deeply into her eyes again as if he wanted to know something he didn't dare ask.

"Last year, you spent a very long time searching for something. I understand if you do not wish to tell me what it was, but I find myself curious regardless. Albus always refused to enlighten me." Hannah considered for several long minutes. She knew she could trust him and she knew he may have already guessed correctly, but by the time she had decided to tell him, he was passing her the completed potion.

 **Sunday**

"So, you've decided to grace my presence on a Sunday, I see?" Severus said, obviously feigning surprise.

"Of course, I actually like these lessons with you, you know."

"Do you now. Here, you should know what to do with it by now," he passed her a bunch of Wolfsbane, which she deftly began separating, pulling off the leaves and flowers. She took a deep breath.

"I realise I've asked you a load of personal questions, and you've answered all of them so…Horcruxes. That's what we were searching for last year. To defeat Voldemort, we had to destroy them, and I think it's the reason he was so weak at the end. It's the reason I was supposed to die, and why I had to sacrifice myself – as you already knew must happen. My scar contained one he made by accident." Severus had gone white and was looking extremely uncomfortable. An expert in all things dark, he clearly knew how such things were made, and while she understood the basic idea, she didn't want to know the specific details. "Also…have you heard of the Deathly Hallows?"

"The children's story? That's just a simple morality tale, Hannah," the words would have sounded certain, but his voice shook a little, and he was clearly now in doubt.

"I thought that too…my invisibility cloak is one. Dumbledore's wand was another. Just before I…he hid the last one in a snitch. I got to see Mum, Dad, Sirius and Remus before…I didn't even know Remus had died…" Despite her efforts, he voice shook a little.

"You…were a master of death? Is that how you survived?"

"Honestly? I'm not even sure, it's far too complicated for _my_ brains. But, I'm sure Dumbledore would say something about love, and willingness to sacrifice myself, or something else overly sentimental." He studied her for a long moment, and she thought she could see admiration in his eyes.

"You willingly gave two of them up." He stated.

"Well, I did lose one. I mean, I had to go and be like ' _oh, hi Voldemort, nice to see you, I offer you my life on a silver platter, but I'd greatly appreciate it if you called off your minions_ ,' I was crapping myself, so I think I can be forgiven for dropping it somewhere in the forest. I doubt anyone will ever find the stone again now." He looked mildly amused for a second, but then his brow narrowed in thought.

"You said Horcruxes, as in several. How many?"

"Six in total, not including me, but his diary was one, and I had disposed of that years ago. Dumbledore got rid of the ring, and Neville killed off the snake, so we only had to find three in the end."

" _That's_ why you needed the sword. They put up a pretty good fight I take it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you know what happened with the diary. Some of them didn't really get a chance to put up a fight, not with the fiendfire and all. The locket was the worst. When we opened it, it taunted us. It tried to make Ron think that me and Hermione would make a better couple – with images…it was _very disturbing_." She shuddered.

"Hermione could certainly do with more intelligent company. You are uninterested?" Hannah was shocked, why would he think such a thing? But then it occurred to her, perhaps this was his Slytherin way of asking her if she was attached.

"No. They're both like siblings. It was weird, and before you ask, Ron's not my type either. Besides I'm a werewolf now so…yeah, might be difficult to find someone that doesn't mind my…eccentricities." She wasn't sure she wanted to think about her relationship prospects too much right now. Especially not with the object of her most recent desires in the room staring at her as if she was a puzzle to be solved.

"I would not give anyone who cares about _that_ the time of day. Back to the subject of Horcruxes, is that why you broke out of Gringotts riding a dragon? One of the Horcruxes was stored there?" Grateful for the change of subject, she smiled at him eager to see his reaction to her tale.

"Oh yes, you said Hermione lacks creativity. But when we were stuck near the bottom of the banks endless network of caves and Griphook had turned on us, she released the dragon guarding dear Bella's vault. We jumped onto its back while it went on a rampage. It was fantastic! Well, apart from the fact that the poor thing had been locked up and tortured. Someone should probably do something about that, seems a bit archaic and redundant to use dragons to guard your gold, right? Spells seem to work well enough. But anyway, it was happy to ignore us, just so long as it could get out. All it wanted was to be free…" Severus looked affronted.

"Fantastic? How you have managed to survive into adulthood is completely beyond me when you do shameless Gryffindor stunts like that! Here…" He passed her the potion, and she realised that this time tomorrow she would be preparing for another rough night. As far as she knew, she'd be going it alone.

"I hate to ask but…will you go with me again?"

"You know that I shouldn't…but if you wish it of me, then yes, I'll go with you."

"Thank you, it means a lot! Really, I owe you!"

"Yes, you do," he sighed. "But you're welcome. I suspect you'll probably sleep through anyway. I should warn you in advance, I intend to add extra valerian in tomorrow's batch. It could have unintended side effects, but it's not dangerous." Hannah nodded. "I'll meet you with your potion prepared, just like last month. Do you feel better prepared than last month?"

"I'm not so worried this time," it was true, she had been distracted from their true purpose all week, and she had Severus to thank for that.

SS

 **Monday**

To say that Severus Snape was concerned about his mental health was an understatement. He was also deeply concerned about Hannah's mental health if he had interpreted her correctly on Friday night. She'd claimed _he_ was distracting her and then blushed like a schoolgirl. Like the schoolgirl she _was,_ he reminded himself.

He swore he'd seen lust in her eyes as he'd tried to admonish her, and he tried to forget about it, failing dismally. To his intense dismay, he'd found her deep blush completely enrapturing. It was definitely inappropriate to find her attractive, and he certainly did not find her interesting. He was as uninterested in her life as he was with any of his other students. And yet, once again he had found himself enjoying the time he spent with her. He'd even been developing a sense of awe and admiration at her willingness to always do the right thing, whatever the cost to her. He tried to stifle his growing, wildly inappropriate attraction to her, and he vowed to treat her the same as any of his other students.

Why he had found himself so utterly unable to reject her request for him to accompany her, he did not know. Indeed, at the time, declining had not even occurred to him, and so, once again, he was going to sit in a room all night with a wolf for company.

He continued to mentally lie to himself until he completed Hannah's potion. He did _not_ like her, and he did _not_ find her attractive, he repeated to himself as he brewed. When he reached the room of requirement, Hannah was already waiting for him. After greeting him, she opened the door. The room was the same as it had been last time, and was just as beautiful and mysterious. Perhaps Hannah might appreciate it more this week.

"How can the moon be so beautiful and yet insight such fear from me?" she asked him. Although she'd been calm when they arrived, she was unsurprisingly nervous now. With a lack of comforting words to give her, he remained silent. "Well, it won't last for long and then hopefully, I can sleep." He looked into her eyes, searching for the fear. Finding surprisingly little, he found himself wondering how she could have been so blasé about everything this week.

"Hopefully", he said passing her potion, "there's quite an amount of valerian in this, if it doesn't knock you out and you want to omit the moondew next month, just say so. Personally, I'd probably prefer a day's missed sleep." She nodded in agreement and drank the potion, pulling her now characteristic scrunched up face as she did so.

"Draco's your godson isn't he?" Severus had not expected that question. At all.

"Yes, why?"

"Just a conversation starter…for distraction purposes. Do you even like him?" He considered for a moment. Truthfully he'd never really had much time for the boy, except for what was necessary a couple of years ago.

"Not particularly. He's narcissistic, prejudiced, privileged and arrogant. Everything I detest in a person. However…like your father, he is improving with age. One day, he might become a better man than Lucius." Hannah looked at him contemplatively.

"I think _anyone_ could be better than Lucius. But I agree. Did you know he gave me his wand? When I didn't have one? I suppose he gave me the final instrument of Voldemort's demise."

"I _didn't_ know that…I would have thought he'd have told the world…" He thought for a moment. Perhaps he had misread her, and she liked the Malfoy boy he thought sadly, remembering her request to duel him.

"Why? Has the golden-Gryffindor developed a crush on a Slytherin?"

"No," she said quickly. "At least not that Slytherin any…" She stopped her sentence as if she had said too much, and Severus dared believe he had been correct in his previous assessment of her affections.

Unfortunately, he didn't have the chance to reply either way, as Hannah had once again gripped his hand. He believed he knew what that meant and he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand attempting to offer some comfort. "Off you go," he said. Once again she disappeared and must have cast a silencing charm because, for the second time, silence prevailed in the woods.

Several long minutes passed before he began to grow concerned. Knowing that calling out to her was probably futile, he headed into the woods after her, wand raised. After a short walk, he found her. Asleep, and seemingly dead to the world. The wolf hadn't even curled up into a more comfortable position. If she didn't look so peaceful when she was asleep, he would have felt guilty for the accidental overdose. He knelt down and ran his fingers through some of the fur on her head, idly stroking her. Smiling to himself, he turned and headed towards the door – he could get some sleep and be back before she woke, he thought. Unfortunately, the door had locked them both in. A safe place for transformations indeed. He sighed and headed back to her, sitting underneath the nearest tree. Sleeping under a tree again would be uncomfortable, and he was sure he'd have a bad back for days. As soon as the thought entered his mind, the room provided. A curtained four-poster bed appeared nearby, and he groaned in indecision. Deciding there was no point in attempting to wake her and grateful for something comfortable, he climbed in and drew the curtains.


	6. Apocalypsis Noctis

Chapter Six

Apocalypsis noctis

Severus awoke to the early light of dawn brushing against his skin through the curtains of his borrowed four-poster bed. Feeling concerned at the fact that he hadn't heard any sign of Hannah's return to her human form, but hoping beyond hope that she was awake and more importantly _dressed_ , he climbed out of the bed.

Dreading what he might find, he headed towards the area he'd left her the night before. Knowing that she was likely still asleep after his accidental overdose of valerian in her potion, he mentally begged the room to dress her, unwilling to face the awkwardness of both of their reactions if she was in a state of undress when she awoke. Thankfully, the room must have acknowledged his request because when he found her, she was sleeping peacefully in the clothes she had worn into the room. Her face was remarkably peaceful in sleep, and he found himself unwillingly watching her for a few moments, trying not to find her soft, youthful features beautiful.

Finding himself in yet another mental debate with himself, he stooped down and took her hand in his – it was colder than he would have liked. He _should_ just levitate her onto the bed and leave her. It was outrageously inappropriate to do anything else. Despite his better judgement, he just couldn't leave her alone. He knew she'd be absolutely fine, but she something about her looked too vulnerable, and he convinced himself that she wouldn't want to wake up in the middle of a forest alone, even if it was really the room of requirement. Hadn't he promised her he would stay with her? Besides, it really was his fault she was still sleeping – hopefully she would see that fact as a blessing rather than a curse. Mind made up, he gently picked her up and carried her in his arms to the dungeons, refusing to revel in the feel of her body against his as he did so.

HP

Feeling dazed, confused, and stiff, Hannah slowly regained consciousness. She felt as if she had slept for a very long time and slowly realised that she remembered nothing from the previous night. Her confusion only increased when she realised she was warm, comfortable and apparently in a bed, not in the room of requirement. Sitting up and getting a good look around the room, she realised she was in Severus' study – the one in his private quarters. She looked around the room feeling groggy and embarrassed. Her cheeks burned painfully in mortification at the knowledge that Severus may have had to dress her after her apparently unconscious transformation. By the tone of the light in the room, she assumed it was early morning, just after dawn. Looking around, she noticed the grammar phone had been moved to his office. Curious as to what kind of music Severus could possibly listen to, she found herself drawn towards it. Apparently, he had been listening to something called Max Bruch – Violin Concerto number one. She reset the needle and listened with interest as the music began to play. Instantly drawn in by the sorrowful opening, she smiled as she realised she couldn't imagine him listening to any other kind of music. She gazed at the small cabinet containing his other records realising she only recognised a few names – it seemed he only really listened to classical. Looking at the neatly lined records made her wonder if any of the most well-known composers were actually wizards.

Several minutes after she had started the music, she jumped as a light knock on the door brought her out of her reverie, and the man himself entered the room looking immensely relieved.

"Good, you're awake. I was beginning to think I had poisoned you. How do you feel? You slept for a very long time, twenty-two hours or so by my watch." Hannah's eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hand. It was dusk then, not dawn and she had missed an entire day of classes. Feeling more than embarrassed and ashamed of her ridiculous amount of sleep, not to mention being caught snooping in Severus' music collection, she shuffled her feet uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I don't remember anything from last night after running into the woods….and I hope you don't mind me playing the music – I was curious, and…it's beautiful." The music had sped up now, and somehow it seemed to perfectly illustrate a turbulent life – not unlike the way their own lives had turned out so far. Eyes boring into hers, he shook his head but seemed to approve of her assessment.

"Why would I have a problem with you playing music that I, myself have chosen? As to what happened…I must apologise. I overdosed you with valerian – unintentionally. It put you in such a very deep sleep, I almost considered trying to concoct an antidote. It was even strong enough to stop you from waking up during your metamorphosis. I thought it prudent to keep an eye on you, and I assumed you'd rather wake up somewhere more comfortable than the forest floor." Hannah blushed and started to bite her nails, thinking he really must have had to dress her. He looked amused, and she knew he must have known what she was thinking.

"Don't be concerned, your dignity remains intact – the room of requirement dressed you, I saw nothing untoward." Sighing with relief, she smiled and sat on the bed.

"It seems I'm going to be permanently in your debt, Sev…Professor. Wish I could sleep through every time, but I missed my classes today…I don't know what I'm going to tell people."

"Try not to be too concerned, you wouldn't be the first student to skive off a few classes. Just tell people you were sick, it's not exactly untruthful. As for your other Professors, I took the liberty of telling them that you came to me with a migraine this morning and that I sent you back to bed to sleep it off." She shook her head, grateful.

"What would I do without you?" He considered for a moment before smirking at her.

"Devour the whole school, no doubt. You should head down to the great hall, I have a suspicion that your friends will be worried." Nodding in agreement, she thanked him yet again earning herself a disgruntled grunt and headed out of the study. She was quickly interrupted.

"Sssshe's awake! Perhapsss, Seeeverusss will stop worrying!"

"Only until next month! Then he'll ssstart behaving

ssstrangely again. Talking to himself half the night and pacing! Ssstrange mating habits thessse humansss have! He should just get on with it and claim her already, ssstop moping about in denial, it's unbecoming." Grimacing at the conversation Severus' portrait snakes were having, Hannah glared at the duo.

"Don't be stupid! Our relationship is strictly professional! He only sees me as a student – or friend, at most!" The snakes both shook their heads.

"Don't be ssso sssure, you mussst have ssseen how he admiresss you. He would be a good mate for you! You obviously like him too, you don't talk to him like he's your teacher!" Scowling at the unfortunate use of the word _mate_ , but not quite prepared to disagree entirely, she stayed silent, considering what they had said earlier. She eyed them suspiciously.

"He worries about me? Does he ever mention me?" They nodded enthusiastically.

"All the time, and he'sss alwaysss trying to convince himssself you're just any other ssstudent, but you're not! He doesn't…"

"Pay them no mind. I consider myself eternally grateful for not understanding them. I highly doubt they have anything of interest to say." Severus had been watching their conversation with a bemused look and Hannah couldn't help but think he was lying and that he did, in fact, have a great interest in their conversation. It had definitely given Hannah some food for thought if nothing else. She didn't know why she would take the word of a snake in a painting as truth, but something told her that they hadn't been untruthful. One thing was certain – she was definitely glad he couldn't understand Parseltongue.

When Hannah arrived at the great hall, Ron and Hermione gave her a look that told her they were very worried and very angry.

"Where have you been!? We haven't seen you since dinner yesterday!" Hermione said, looking furious.

"I had a migraine – nothing serious, I slept it off. There's no need to shout at me…" Hermione gave Ron a knowing look and Hannah began to squirm. Perhaps her time was up, and she was going to have to tell them. Ron looked around the table before pulling out a quill and hastily scribbling a note, which he passed to Hannah.

Are you shagging Snape?

Shocked, Hannah blushed furiously before becoming angry.

"Why would you think that?" She whispered furiously. Before either of them could answer her, she heard a swish come from behind her, and she felt a hand lightly press on her shoulder to get her attention. She froze in mortification as she heard a deep, familiar voice.

"Hannah, I should tell you…" Severus' eyes glanced at the piece of paper, and he faltered. Whatever it was he was going to say wasn't that important, because he swiftly turned away from them and stalked off towards the head table with his cloak billowing behind him. Hannah covered her face with her hands in shame and embarrassment. He'd obviously thought 'Well this is awkward – I'm going to go over here.' At least he didn't angrily call them out on it in front of the entire school. She was going to have to apologise to him a soon as possible to try and save face.

"Don't think you can get out of it, he's even calling you Hannah!" Ron said looking slightly ashamed, but determined to get an answer.

"No. I'm not sleeping with him. Now explain why I'm going to have to apologise to _Professor Snape_ for this ridiculous accusation!"

"We came looking for you after lunch. You left your room open so…well…the Marauder's Map was left on your bedside table, we thought we'd look for you. When we found you, you were in his quarters. The rooms aren't labelled further than that, and you were both in a small room – we assumed…"

"What that he…that we were…you assumed wrong, Hermione!"

"Oh come on! You've been spending a lot of time with him, don't try and tell me nothing's going on because clearly, _something_ is," Hermione complained. Hannah glanced at the head table. Severus was watching her, and he didn't even look away when she stared back. Not wanting to continue with this conversation, she stormed off and headed back to the privacy of her room trying very hard _not to imagine_ precisely what shagging Snape might be like, but completely failing as the images flooded her mind anyway.

Ron and Hermione must have realised the subject was entirely out of bounds because they didn't bring up the topic again and Hannah just pretended it never happened. Following her next defence lesson, she awkwardly stayed behind until everyone else had left intending to apologise.

"Professor, about that note…" Severus peered down at her with an unreadable expression on his face, which only made her feel even more uncomfortable. Not knowing whether she would regret what she was about to do, Hannah pulled out the Marauder's Map from her pocket and whispered the words "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." She then showed him the map.

"My father and his friends made this when they were at school – it's a map of Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione went looking for me in my room and checked the map. Obviously, they saw me in your rooms and…well…"

"Came to the wrong conclusion. Don't worry yourself, I confess I found the situation rather amusing after the initial shock wore off. I assume they thought it was suspicious we've been spending time together over the last two months?"

"Yeah. I don't think it will be long before they work it out, and at this point, I feel like giving Hermione the challenge – how long will it take her to realise. I'm betting on next month, now I have managed to convince her that we're not…anyway…" Severus was looking at her sympathetically but made no comment.

"What was it you wanted to tell me anyway?"

"Oh, yes. That is actually very important. I will be unable to brew your potion this month. The Ministry requires that I give evidence on a…Death Eater trial. It's nothing to worry about, but I will be indisposed for a few days, just when we need to begin your first potions. I should, however, be back for the last day – the day of the full moon." Hannah started to panic and her heart started to beat erratically.

"But…I can't brew it yet!"

"I know, and you have my apologies. While I'd rather brew it myself, Professor Slughorn is certainly capable, and I have no doubt he would prepare your potion with you in confidence. That way you wouldn't miss out on any practice. However, I'm sure it can be arranged for him to brew it without knowing which student the potion was for, if you would prefer. I won't tell him without your permission…" She really didn't want anyone else to know but realised she had little choice in the matter and she trusted Severus' judgement.

"I suppose I might as well get some more practice in. Can you um…break the news to him for me?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he will be entirely sympathetic," Severus said kindly, though Hannah felt despondent at the knowledge that he'd be away from school.

"When do you leave? Will we have a replacement teacher?"

"No. What a strange creature you are, not knowing when the Christmas holidays begin! Anyone would think you weren't looking forward to some time off." He said bemusedly.

Several days later, Hannah was sat working on an essay in her room when a silver doe burst through the wall, startling her. Severus' deep voice filled the room before the doe faded into white smoke and disappeared.

"Professor Slughorn has been informed and is amicable. Remind him of the start date, you know he has a poor memory. I will await you outside the room of requirement as usual." Pulling out her diary, she quickly calculated when she would need to take her first potion and returned to her essay, happy that Severus would once again accompany her without her even needing to ask him.

Three weeks passed in a blur and before she knew it, the school holidays had already begun. On her last potions lesson, she had reminded Professor Slughorn about her predicament, and he had, predictably, gone on an insufferably long soliloquy about how sorry he was for her and how she was the last person to deserve such a fate. She had quickly zoned out, thinking it was as if he thought she had died. Nevertheless, he arranged to meet her on Thursday to make her first dose and far sooner than she would have liked it was once again time to head to the potions classroom, this time, with a less desirable companion. When she had explained to Ron and Hermione that she had extra potions with Professor Slughorn this week, they had looked even more confused and doubtful than usual.

Unlike her interesting and rewarding lessons with Severus, lessons with Slughorn were generally dull and uneventful. While he obviously had great skill and was a patient instructor, Hannah thought that perhaps, like Hermione, Severus would accuse Slughorn of making potions by the book. There was no moondew addition, and Hannah wondered whether Severus had been worried that he would somehow fail the potion if the recipe was altered. She was definitely looking forward to Severus' return, and she hoped that whatever evidence he had to give to the Ministry was worth his absence.

The day before the full moon, they had made her potion slightly earlier than usual, and she had consumed the potion and returned to the common room by six thirty. She had just only just managed to sit down in front of the fire with her two best friends when Severus came bursting through the portrait hole with a murderous expression on his face. His eyes darted around the room, and when his eyes met hers he stormed over to her, faster than she would have thought possible. He grabbed her wrist firmly, and sharply pulled her up onto her feet and out of the portrait hole as the whispers of the other students followed their exit.

"What on earth are you still doing in the common room? Don't you realise the time!?" He was scaring her now, and she thought he'd gone mad. He certainly looked like he had, she noted as she began to fear him for the first time in months.

"What do you mean? I've just come back from my potions lesson. I thought you were back tomorrow anyway." His face contorted into one of absolute fear and horror and she winced at his tightening iron grip, still on her wrist. "Let go, you're hurting me."

"How many doses of your potion have you had?" He said urgently, refusing to release her.

"Six, obviously I have one to take tomorrow." At these words, he pulled her arm urgently, forcing her to run alongside him.

"You stupid girl! Do you mean to tell me you can't even read a fucking calendar?" Much taller than her, he was running too fast. She tripped, and he had to stop to pull her up before running again. Panicking, she did the maths in her head.

"No, it's definitely tomorrow." She said, already gasping for breath. "There are thirty days between moons."

"You can't be serious! There are twenty-nine and a half days between moons! That means…"

"They catch up…this can't…this can't be happening!" Her heart started to beat frantically in horror as the blood drained from her face in fear. Sometimes it was twenty-nine days - the full moon was today. If it wasn't for Severus, she'd have transformed in the common room, and she hadn't taken the correct dosage of her potion. She was about to turn into a savage, wild animal in the middle of a school, and Fluffy had nothing on her. She glanced out of the window as they ran and sharp pains started to attack her body. Unable to keep running, she stumbled and fell to the ground not knowing if Severus could get her to safety in time.

SS

Knowing that they had very little time before Hannah was no longer herself, Severus picked her up and ran as fast as he could towards the room of requirement. Having little choice in order to avoid drawing the attention of the entire student body, he silenced her with a charm. He dared not look down at her and tried to ignore her hands pulling at his cloak uncomfortably. He could already feel her body beginning to morph into something other than human, and he prayed that they would reach the room in time.

A short run later, he reached their goal. Mentally directing "I need a safe place for werewolf transformations" as he approached it, he barged through the door and entered the now familiar forest. After rather unceremoniously throwing her into the room in panic, he turned to exit the room. It was locked – he'd forgotten the room would lock them in until dawn. Having little choice but to confront her, he drew his wand. At first, he fooled himself with a pleasant lie, hoping that she would have taken enough of the potion to remain partially aware of her actions. Frozen in place, he was unable to prevent himself from watching her as she transformed. It was the kind of horror he would never choose to witness, yet the pure terror made him unable to look away. He cringed as he heard the sickening cracking of bones and witnessed the stretching, tearing and repairing of skin as her hair thickened and lengthened. There was no fooling himself now, and he could see why this terrible transformation resulted in the loss of one's mind. An angry madness was already obvious within her eyes.

Before he could truly comprehend what was happening, she had lifted her head towards the sky and a piercing, terror-inducing howl filled the air. The creature turned and faced him directly with its head down and was glaring at him in the way all predators do when stalking their prey, her green eyes neither human nor beautiful.

After a few silent, motionless seconds of staring each other down, his worst fears were confirmed when she snarled and charged towards him. He didn't have a choice. He was going to have to fight her, and very few spells would work against a werewolf. Just erecting a strong protego in time, she was pushed back and crumpled awkwardly to the ground. In her human form she would have likely stayed down in shock, but the creature was getting up immediately, unfazed, to attack him again. He quickly tried an incacerous and tied her limbs together. Unfortunately, such a spell wouldn't hold her for long, and she was already angrily chomping her way through the ropes around her paws. Within a minute or so she was rounding up on him again, and Severus didn't know how long he could keep this up – certainly not all night. He sent a wordless, formless wave of magic towards her as she reached him sending her flying backwards into a nearby tree. He felt guilty watching her as she hit the tree with force, its branches scratching her muzzle. While she hadn't been knocked unconscious, the wolf was stumbling about dazed and slightly limping. Why wasn't the room helping him? As the thought entered his mind, a transparent, glass-like wall appeared a metre or so in front of him and stretched the entire length of the room, separating them. He put his hand on it finding it impenetrable, and he breathed a temporary sigh of relief.

Apparently, the wolf could no longer detect him because she didn't even look at him after the wall had appeared. Guilt was really setting in now. He should have given her precise dates. He should never have trusted Horace. He should have asked the room for help immediately instead of hurting her. Where everyone else would have seen a vicious, savage creature, he saw a vulnerable young woman who needed his help. Silently summoning a chair, he sat down and prepared himself for having to watch her for the next ten hours or so. There was certainly no way he was going to calm down enough to sleep, nor did he want to.

He already knew that werewolves would end up attacking themselves if they couldn't find a human to vent their frustration on, but he was in no way prepared for having to watch someone he cared about scratch and bite at themselves intermittently for hours on end. She stalked around the woods angrily looking for someone to attack, and at finding nothing but trees to chew on, she ended up biting and scratching at her own flesh instead in frustration. The hours went by painfully slowly, and Severus vowed to make sure she'd have the skills to make sure she would never have to endure the full moon without her sanity again. He dreaded the condition she was going to be in when she awoke, and he mentally prepared himself for having to heal various injuries.

In the darkness before the dawn, she finally began to grow calmer until eventually, after what had been the longest night Severus had ever experienced, she began to change back. Once again he found himself unable to prevent himself watching the horror unfold before him as her hair receded and her form grotesquely bent, straightened, shrank and elongated back into a recognisable human form. The wall separating them dissipated as the first rays of sunlight began to appear. By the end, she was just managing to stand as she regained her faculties, but she was going to fall. In a bout of relieved sympathy, he ran towards her and caught her human form, sinking to the ground with her in his arms. Clutching at his shirt, she buried her face in his chest, as if refusing to look at him out of shame and she lost a few silent tears that dampened his shirt. He remained silent, simply holding her comfortingly and stroking her hair as the sunlight finally began to penetrate the wood.

He didn't know why he did it. Perhaps it was the relief that they were both alive, and that she had resumed her overly enticing human form. Perhaps he had simply lost his reason in the course of the unforgivingly long night and was too exhausted to think clearly. Perhaps he simply wanted to comfort her in any way he could, or perhaps he had loved her even before this moment, before this imperfect depiction of a sunrise.

Whatever the reason, he found himself gently lifting up her chin and staring intensely into her sad, frightened eyes before leaning in and kissing her gently, reverently, as if she was the only woman in the world. Something changed within his soul at that moment, and for a fleeting moment in time, he embraced it. He accepted it. She was forcing emotions out of him that he didn't even know he was capable of feeling, never mind expressing. Her shocked stillness threatened his sanity to return, however, and he was about to withdraw at her lack of immediate response. Perhaps she felt the same sense of relief that Severus felt because just as he was going to withdraw and apologise, he felt her hand caress his chest as she kissed him back earnestly. Unreasonably deliriously happy, he pulled her into his lap, and his hands caressed her waist as he felt her run her fingers through his hair. Testing her, he brushed his tongue against her lips, and she allowed him to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and passionately responding to him. Too passionately for comfort, he noted. The feel of her body pressing against his was heavenly, and he was almost overcome with the urge to fall on top of her and ravish her there and then.

Resisting his baser desires, Severus pulled back with regret and watched as some of the fire died in her eyes. Expecting her to realise what had just happened and angrily attack him, he looked away. He was her Professor after all, and he'd already taken far too many liberties with her. She didn't try to move, however, and seemed quite content to remain in his arms as if it was comforting.

"Look at me," she whispered, and his eyes instantly snapped back to hers. Her eyes seemed gentle and loving, and unable to detect any disgust or anger in them, he made himself believe that she was trying to silently communicate 'it's okay,' and 'I want you.' It was almost as if she was inviting him to skim her thoughts, but he dared not venture into her mind, not trusting himself enough to restrain himself if he was right, and not ready to accept the pain of it if he was wrong.

Eventually, although still far too soon for his liking, she loosened her grip and relaxed, placing her hands on his chest and creating an unwilling distance between them. He became uncomfortably aware that she was naked and vulnerable in his arms, and every inch of her was exposed to the elements. She started to shiver from the cold, and the movement made her grimace in pain. After everything he'd witnessed, he knew she was probably in significant pain and discomfort after the night's unfortunate events.

Feeling guilty with the knowledge that she would almost certainly need healing after her self-mutilation, he finally dared to actually look at her body. Her too beautiful frame was marred with blood, and she was covered in deep cuts and scratches. He did _try_ not to let his eyes wander all over her, but he was only human, and to him, she really was painfully beautiful, even now. If by some miracle she ever offered herself to him, he didn't think he'd be capable of refusing her. Yet, for the first time in his life, something made him want such activities to be loving, and not simply as a means to an end, as all of his experiences with women had been thus far.

Inwardly wincing at how much pain she would have been in while he selfishly indulged in kissing her, he wordlessly grabbed his wand and began to heal as much as he could after warming her with a charm, painfully aware of her penetrating gaze on his face. She sat motionlessly and let him gently manipulate her limbs to heal them without complaint as if she'd had her spirit beaten out of her in battle. She didn't even seem fazed that she had bared all to her Professor, and the knowledge that she probably wasn't thinking clearly in her exhausted state weighed heavily on his mind. Healing spells had never come naturally to him, and he rarely had the compassion needed for strong spells, yet his complicated and indecipherable feelings for her seemed to make her healing remarkably easy and uncomplicated. He knew it was impossible to heal everything and that she'd still be feeling very rough later, but he was glad that he had been able to heal the damage she'd done to herself, even if her body would have to do the rest the slow way.

When he eventually reached her face to heal a small but deep cut on her cheek, she finally spoke after silently allowing him to treat her.

"Severus…I…not that one," she whispered. With renewed tears appearing in her eyes, she took his wand hand in hers and pulled it down, holding it tightly.

"It will leave a scar if I don't..."

"I know. That's the point…it should…serve as a reminder. When I look in the mirror…" Her eyes were now full of pain and shame, and she withdrew from him as she folded her arms around herself defensively. He hesitated and very nearly healed it anyway, suspecting that he had caused it when he'd sent her into the tree, but he wouldn't go against her wishes. Not now. He took off his cloak and wrapped it around her before tentatively scooping her up into his lap, fooling himself that he was trying to keep her warm. To his surprise, she seemed to welcome it.

"Will you kiss me again?" She whispered with her eyes full of sorrow, clearly expecting him to say no. He hesitated, knowing he should deny her delirious request. Something about the fear and sorrow in her eyes made up his mind for him, however, and he was once again unable to resist her.

"As you wish," he said softly before he gently pressed his lips to hers, indulging himself in her one last time, knowing that once she'd rested, she'd likely never forgive him for his transgression. As she tenderly kissed him back, he imagined that the intensity of the feelings he was getting from her were real, and not as a result of exhausted delirium. Her energy was already failing her now, and she was beginning to feel limp in his arms.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"I don't know, I feel like I just want to sleep here…" Severus shook his head.

"It's too cold, warming charms can only do so much. It's alright, I can carry you." He picked her up gently and slowly began to walk towards the door.

"I'm heavier than I look, you know."

"Hmph. No, you're really not."

"Wait, we're not going to Madam Pomfrey are we?" She asked suddenly sounding more awake.

"No. Surprisingly, I want to live. If she sees you like this, she'll curse _me_ and ask _you_ awkward questions later. Why? Did I miss anything?" He felt her relax and shake her head against his neck, clearly exhausted enough to be quickly falling asleep.

By the will of fate, Severus met no students or any of his colleagues on his way back to the dungeons. By the time they reached his quarters, she was fast asleep. Mentally and physically exhausted, he put her to bed and collapsed ungraciously beside her. Perhaps he would feel differently later, but right now he was far too drunk with exhaustion to give a crap about propriety. Pulling her close, he quickly fell into a deep sleep.

HP

Hannah awoke warm and in an immensely large and comfortable bed. Memories of the previous night slowly returned to her, and she instantly felt extremely anxious. Opening her eyes, she discovered she was alone and in an unfamiliar room. Stepping out of bed, she realised she was still wearing Severus' cloak but saw a pile of her signature scruffy muggle clothes on top of a nearby dressing table. Her wand and glasses had been placed on top of the pile. Her limbs were painful, achy, and reluctant to obey her. Getting dressed took far longer than it should have, and for the first time, she understood exactly why Severus would add moondew to the potion. She felt truly terrible despite his attentive healing, not to mention her throbbing, swollen cheek. Her mind wandered onto the events of last night. _How_ could she have miscalculated so badly? Severus must truly think her irresponsible and idiotic after such a grave mistake, but then, why had he kissed her? Obviously, she had savoured every second of it, and perhaps she was going mad because that kiss was unlike any other she had ever experienced. Despite the situation, it resonated with a love and tenderness she had never felt projected towards her before. Not to mention the way he had been _looking_ at her. He'd only ever looked at her like that in her _dreams_. Or at least he had before he'd started to heal her. It seemed to Hannah that he'd consciously made an effort to focus purely on healing her, and somehow, she couldn't muster the energy to be embarrassed about him seeing her naked. From the way he tenderly seemed to heal her, and the way his gentle hands had seemed to caress her skin as he manipulated her movements to carry out his work, she suspected he hadn't completely disliked what he saw. She hoped beyond all that was rational that their relationship had changed permanently and that they would now become more than friends.

Regardless of what she hoped for, she still felt incredibly nervous and was filed with the shame of having attacked him yesterday. It was with horror and regret that she realised she remembered some of the time she had spent as a werewolf – despite the lack of potion. She remembered attacking him. She even remembered _wanting_ to. She recalled the excitement and thrill of the hunt predators felt when stalking their prey. An excitement that had unwittingly become her own. His tenderness in the aftermath of the night was undeserved, and she had a feeling that her luck had run out. Shuddering and taking a deep breath, she headed out of the room to face him, whatever her fate may be.

As she exited the room into the lounge, Severus turned to look at her from his seat by the fire, a half-empty bottle of the ridiculously strong Phoenix Tears on the table. He stood up and surveyed her with his arms folded. She couldn't read his expression at all, and that was a very bad sign indeed.

"You're well?" He said shortly.

"Yes, thank you so much for…"

"Get. Out." Hannah's heart sank to the ground as she realised that she had completely lost _any_ trust she had gained over the past few months.

"I know I don't deserve it, but _please_ forgive me! I promise it won't happen again, I would never deliberately endanger _anyone!_ "

"I have no desire to listen to the pathetic excuses and apologies of an incompetent _school girl_! A mere child that endangered the entire population of this school! Do you have any idea what would have happened if you have become a werewolf in the common room? Any idea what we would have had to do when we found you?" If he hadn't added that last part she would have thought he didn't care about her at all, but she did know what would have had to happen. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

"I expect someone would have had to kill me," she said, tears forming in her eyes. He was studying her intently, but it seemed he would not relent. There would be no comforting words or embraces this time.

"I tell you again, _Miss Potter_. Get. Out," he snarled. With hot, angry tears falling down her face, she refused to move and glared at him in disbelief.

"Yesterday, you kept me safe. You kissed me! You healed me! You were holding me like…like we…do I really mean nothing to you now?" For the first time this morning, his face betrayed him as a myriad of emotions flashed over his features.

"I regret it. It was poorly considered and I apolo…"

"Don't you dare apologise! Couldn't you tell how desperately I wanted it? I've wanted it for months! It's unbearable."

"Don't misunderstand. You were delirious with exhaustion, fear, and pain. So was I. You are a _child_ , it was _wrong_. I abused your trust and my position. I'm sorry." Distraught, Hannah shook her head in disbelief but spoke calmly as her fists balled painfully.

"I know I'm stupid, and I made a nearly fatal mistake, but I am by no means a child. Right now _you're_ the one behaving like a child. Why can't you accept what is happening between us? I'm sorry you think it was wrong, but I don't. I don't regret anything we shared, and I don't really believe you regret it either. You don't need to feel like you took advantage of me, because you didn't. If I didn't want you, I'd have pushed you away, not grasped at you like you're…like…" He covered his face with his hand before returning his steely gaze to her, causing her words to fail.

"Don't be overdramatic. It was just a kiss, something that seemed comforting in a desperate situation. It meant nothing else."

"It wasn't just a kiss, and you know it. Nobody's ever…it's never felt like that before." She was desperate for him to acknowledge her feelings, and she wished he had picked up on her silent invitation to enter her mind while he had held her last night, so that he would understand what she couldn't currenty verbalise.

"Oh? And you're full of worldly experience and advice are you?" She angrily continued to stare him down, knowing she could never win. His gaze remained stoic, but she knew his true emotions were hidden behind a well-rehearsed shield of stoicism that had served him so incredibly well as a spy. Eventually, she had to avert her gaze and shake her head in defeat as she uttered her reluctant reply.

"No."

" _Precisely._ Trust me, Hannah, please. Leave. It's for the best. The best for you, and for me. I'm your _Professor_. I'm _paid_ to teach you, not babysit you." She could tell she wasn't going to get anywhere with him today and truthfully, she felt like she deserved a lot more anger for her indiscretion last night. The knowledge didn't stop her heart from breaking at his denial of any substantial meaning behind his loving actions early this morning, however, and she approached him in silent desperation. Waving his hand as a dismissal, he turned away from her and stared into the fire, apparently deciding to ignore her.

"Ssseverusss doesssn't mean it! He thinksss you're too young, that he took advantage of you when you were defenssslesss – you can prove him wrong! Don't give up!" The portrait hissed its encouragement, but somehow she just didn't have the energy to fight him anymore.

"Oh, just fuck off, you stupid fucking snake! Will you please just stop interfering in my life! " She hissed back, seeing Severus flinch in the corner of her eye before she stormed out of the room. It took her a long while to realise she was angry and distraught enough for her words to have come out in plain English.


	7. Edgar

Chapter Seven

Edgar

After storming out of Severus' chambers, Hannah aimlessly wandered the school grounds for several lonely hours. Eventually, she sat on a bench facing the black lake and just watched rest of the day go by. Once again, she had managed to sleep away most of the day, and she was amazed that Severus hadn't woken her up just to kick her out. The longer she sat there, the more she realised she didn't have the energy to care much about anything anymore. In fact, she didn't even have the energy to get up. There was no escaping her dark shadow now. Last night she could easily have killed her best friends _and_ Severus – the very people who had done so much for her. The people she loved. The hope she'd had for strengthening her relationship with Severus had dissipated into nothing. All that remained was deep shame, guilt and her shadow. Knowing it wasn't going to leave her for some time, and feeling like she would carry it around with her forever, she decided to name the growing, melancholic sense of emptiness within her. She snorted out loud as the words "The Black Dog" came to mind, a large black dog weighing her down and preventing her from caring about anything else. That seemed to fit perfectly, especially considering her monthly metamorphosis. Not even acknowledging the passing of time, she had little comprehension of just how long she had been sat there, and she made no effort to do anything other than stare blankly into the distance.

When it started to grow colder, and the light began to fade, she heard footsteps tentatively approach her. The intruder sat next to her and silently looked over the lake with her for some time. Finally ready to face her fears, Hannah turned to look at whoever had interrupted her. Of course, Hermione would have come to find her after her unceremonious departure last night. There was no longer any beating about the bush, besides she simply felt it was time. She wasn't going to go on a rant, she wasn't going to be all "woe is me," and she certainly wasn't going to cry over it. She'd just state the facts of the matter. To hell with the opinions of her peers.

"I'm a werewolf," she said simply, refusing to look anywhere other than the lake. Hermione sighed and took Hannah's hand in her own.

"I know." Hannah smiled wistfully. Of course, she did.

"When did you figure it out?"

"Only yesterday. Professor Snape has a very…resonating voice. The pieces of the puzzle connected very easily…"

"Does Ron know?"

"Yes, but I've told nobody else. We both love you, all the same, you know that?" Hannah simply smiled and nodded. "Why didn't you tell us?" Hannah stayed silent for a long time. Truthfully, she didn't know. Perhaps she just hadn't accepted it.

"I don't know. I think I was in denial at first, and then…I just didn't seem to find the right moment. Besides, we both know I've been distracted by a certain _Professor_. The extra lessons with him helped keep my mind of it." Hermione nodded sympathetically. Once Hannah started talking, everything came out. The whole story. She relayed what had happened with Mathilda three months ago, the potion lessons with Severus, how they had become closer and how she had been a dose short yesterday.

"It all makes sense now…the timing of the potion lessons, the sleeping…your strange eating habits. Everything will work out in the end you know, you're stronger than anyone else I know."

"I'm not so sure about that. You must have worked out what happened, I miscalculated the phases of the moon…we learn that in the _first year_. If it wasn't for Severus…I don't think he's ever going to speak to me again."

"It won't happen again. You wouldn't make the same mistake twice – besides you have _me_ , I'm not going to let you miscalculate again now I'm in on the secret!"

"Thanks, Hermione. I couldn't ask for better friends."

"Have your feelings for Professor Snape changed _at all_?"

"No. Well, yes. He's becoming more and more important to me now. I don't think its infatuation anymore. After everything… I betrayed his trust…he kissed me yesterday when I finally changed back. He healed me and looked after me…" Hannah rambled but paused when she saw the shock and concern washed over Hermione's features.

"Well, that was extremely inappropriate of him. Whatever the circumstances he's still in a position of authority over you."

"Don't look at me like that. It was entirely welcome, and no I don't care about the age difference. It's only a big difference _now_ …in a few years…. I know he feels _something_ for me too. Honestly, Hermione…those kisses were…just trust me, they weren't just kisses. Even if that's what he tried to tell me this morning. He said he was sorry for taking advantage and kicked me out. He was so angry when he saw me, but he just…he tried to cover it up, but I could tell. He was hurting too. The worst thing is that I can understand why he's angry with me. I'd be angry. If I had the energy, I'd be angry now."

"I don't think he's that angry with _you_ , Hannah. Not really. He's angry with himself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if I was him, I'd be confused about even being attracted to you in the first place - being your teacher. There's also the whole history with your parents, a point that only emphasises the difference in age. He probably feels ashamed of himself for even considering such feelings, given who you are, and the things he's…you know, as a Death Eater. He probably thinks it's his fault you missed a dose of your potion too. I'm not surprised he told you he'd taken advantage – I'm betting you weren't exactly at your best when he kissed you? He probably thinks you weren't completely conscious at the time." Hannah blinked. How could Hermione discern so much with such little information? Everything she had said made sense.

"Um…no, I wasn't. But, despite his opinion, I wasn't delirious or anything like that. I was sort of in shock and exhausted but…mostly I was just relieved we were both alive, and that I hadn't bitten him…or worse." She'd omit the naked part – she didn't need to know that. Hermione sighed.

"Well, there you have it. Give him some time and be patient. Perhaps he'll come around eventually. I'm finding it all very hard to believe – who'd have thought you'd ever even get along? Somehow, I find it difficult to imagine Snape in love."

"You are? Try being me! But thanks, Hermione. For everything. Will you relay it all to Ron for me? I don't really want to explain all that again."

"Of course, though…probably best to omit the snogging!" Hannah chuckled.

"Probably...listen, I'll be back in the common room within an hour or so – we have to pack for The Burrow right?" Hermione's eyebrows furrowed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to talk to Severus, now we've both calmed down a bit." Hermione made no comment, probably knowing she'd never be able to change Hannah's mind. They headed towards the castle, separating at the gates.

When Hannah reached the painting of Cliodna that guarded Severus' quarters she realised she didn't know the password – the painting had never asked for one when Severus approached it. When Hannah approached, however, Cliodna simply stared unforgivingly at her.

"Um…can I go in? Is he home?" Cliodna shook her head snootily as she looked down her nose at her.

"Is that a no I can't go in, or no, he's not home?" Hannah asked, frustrated.

"Professor Snape has gone home for the holidays. He dislikes spending Christmas at Hogwarts," she replied snootily. Heart sinking yet again at the news that she wouldn't get chance to see him until the New Year, Hannah returned to the common room to prepare for their departure to The Burrow for Christmas.

It turned out that Ron was just as sympathetic as Hermione. At least as far as her monthly problems went. Her love for Severus Snape, however, did not go down as well. Hannah knew that neither of her friends would change their opinions of her over what had transpired, but it was a relief nevertheless. They had agreed not to tell Ron's family, for now, not wanting to disturb the peace at Christmas.

Time at The Burrow was a welcome relief for Hannah and the first few days acted as a panacea for her soul. She spent an unfortunate amount of time dwelling on Severus, and her black dog remained just as prominent as he did the day Severus had kicked her out. Despite this, helping Molly with the Christmas decorations and the preparing of food helped keep her mind off everything, at least for a little while. Before she knew it, Christmas Eve had come and gone, and she was sat in bed reading a book recommended to her by Hermione (The Art Of Legillimency: Uncovering Closely Guarded Secrets by Saoghal Dìomhair), after revealing her desire to reattempt to learn mind magic. She was sharing a room with Ginny and Hermione, who Molly had motherly insisted could _not_ stay with Ron, when she heard a tapping sound as if something was tapping on glass.

"What's that noise? Can you hear that?" Ginny asked, confused. The sound started again, louder this time. "I think it's the window." Ginny crossed the room and peered outside, before opening the latch. A flurry of feathers and a loud "caw" sound followed as a large black bird flew into the room and perched on top of a tall bookcase. It peered down at them as if it was surveying them.

"Is that a crow? Why would it come inside?" Hermione asked.

"No, it's a raven. Look how beautiful she is," Hannah replied, awestruck at the bird's beauty.

"Same difference. What's the dirty old thing coming in here for?" Ginny complained.

The raven studied Hannah for a few seconds before swooping down towards her. She lifted her arms in front of her face in defence to little avail, as the creature perched on her arm and "cawed" loudly with its claws piercing through her jumper painfully.

"Woah, woah, woah! Careful bird – _swooping is bad_!" The bird simply stared at her with intelligent eyes, before nudging a scroll attached to its leg with its beak as if directing her attention to it. She took the scroll and the bird hopped onto her shoulder in order to pull at her earring with its beak. "Ow! What on earth..?" She opened the letter to find a familiar spidery scrawl that she would recognise anywhere.

He's your problem now. Let him remind you to be careful what you wish for. Name him well.

He hadn't signed it, but he didn't need to. Severus had sent the bird – a he, not a she. Hannah wondered how he acquired him.

"What's it say?" asked Hermione walking over to her. Hannah handed her the scroll.

"He didn't sign it, but it was obviously Severus. He must have remembered me saying I liked them – despite their temperament."

"Name him well…what are you going to call him?" Hermione asked.

"No idea…any suggestions?"

"How about…Edgar?" Somehow, the name seemed to suit him – he did look rather stately. "You know, after the muggle poet, Edgar Allan Poe – he wrote The Raven. You know…Nevermore." Hermione rolled her eyes and folded her arms, frustrated at Hannah and Ginny's blank expressions.

"Never heard of him. I do like it though…what do you think…Edgar?" She asked the bird as she gently ran a finger over his feathers. Edgar obviously approved because he "cawed" again and fluffed up his feathers as if to say he rather liked his new perch on Hannah's too small shoulder.

"I don't like ravens…they're too…I dunno, creepy. Everyone associates them with death too. You're not actually going to keep it are you?" Ginny said, glaring at the bird.

"Of course I am! Severus sent him to me. Besides look at him – he's gorgeous!" She said, still stroking his feathers. Ginny looked like she wholeheartedly disagreed.

"Why would _he_ send you _anything_?" Ginny asked sceptically.

Hannah shrugged, a movement that apparently irritated Edgar because he flew off and made himself comfortable on the headrest of Hannah's bed. The bird's arrival had confused Hannah, and she wondered if Severus had forgiven her. Or, alternatively, had he acquired the bird before their fight and simply wanted it out of his hands? He had told her to be careful what she wished for though, and she thought he might have been alluding to her desire for him, not the bird. Either way, it was incredibly thoughtful of him, and she briefly considered sending the bird back with a note of thanks, feeling guilty she hadn't bought anything for him. She dismissed the idea, thinking Severus probably wouldn't appreciate any more gushing from her at the present time – she'd show her appreciation later.

"I have no idea, but we should probably get some sleep," she replied.

When Christmas morning arrived, the entire Weasley family had gathered, and the traditional opening of gifts commenced. Mrs Weasley had once again made everyone their traditional Weasley jumpers and boxes of home-made fudge. Soon, they were attempting to eat ridiculous amounts of Christmas dinner, and Hannah's heart was always warmed by the Weasley's generosity. By the end of the day, with Ginny as the sole exception, the entire family had fallen in love with Edgar. George had taken a particular shine to the bird, admiring his cheeky, comical spirit and petty theft of anything shiny he could fly off with. It was a set of traits that Hannah saw could easily get her into an awful lot of trouble. As beautiful Edgar was, he'd often fly off in a grump, seemingly for no reason. Whenever she'd tell him off or take back something he'd pinched, he'd peck at her and "caw" repeatedly, as if mocking her with laughter. It was as if he _knew_ he was being annoying and delighted in it. Hedwig hadn't needed any kind of training at all, and as much as she knew she'd love Edgar, she could already tell he was going to be a lot of work. Perhaps _that's_ what Severus had meant when he'd written: "Let him remind you to be careful what you wish for." He was certainly temperamental, and it seemed any interaction would be on _his_ terms, not unlike a certain Professor, she noted wistfully.

Once the Christmas dinner had been well and truly demolished, all the jokes and games had ended, and various members of the Weasley clan began to go their separate ways, Ron and Hermione asked Hannah to accompany them upstairs. Hermione pulled a strange object out of her bottomless bag and passed it to Hannah with a smile.

"This is from the both of us. We didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone else, but we thought that it might be useful." Hannah looked at the object. It appeared to be a spherical orb made of white quartz, mounted on a wooden base. Most of one side of the sphere was glowing a translucent white, but just over half of the stone was unilluminated. She realised it was a representation of the current phase of the moon.

"I've charmed it to go red every day for six days before the true full moon, so you know to take your potion whenever it's not white. Obviously, you need to plan ahead anyway…but I thought as a secondary measure…"Hannah smiled and hugged them both tightly. Sometimes, she didn't know what she'd do without Hermione.

"It's very thoughtful – and useful. Thanks."

"We just wanted to remind you – we'll always be here for you…no matter what," Ron assured her. Hannah smirked.

"Even if I _was_ shagging Snape?" Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust as he pulled a face.

"Just as long as you don't throw us the mental images…then yeah, maybe even then," he said laughing. "Reckon he'll forgive you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. He did send me Edgar, and…oh, I dunno…maybe I imagined everything. Perhaps he was telling the truth about that night…" Her heart ached painfully as if it was breaking even further at her thoughts. "Do you mind if I have a moment?" Hannah asked them, hoping to get a few minutes to herself to gather her thoughts.

"No problem," Hermione said while talking Ron's hand and leaving the room. Hannah walked over to the window and stared out of it at nothing in particular. She was grateful to her friends, but pretending to be alright when everything was definitely _not_ alright was becoming tiresome. She supposed that whatever would be with Severus would be, and while she wanted to blame the black dog on him, really, it was a separate entity. She'd had him chained up for a long, long time and it was unsurprising that eventually, he'd break free. Sighing and preparing to face everyone with a smile, she turned and exited the room.

Thoughts elsewhere, Hannah jumped upon seeing Ginny standing outside the room, and she frowned wondering how much she had heard. Ginny pointed at some mistletoe hanging above the window and unashamedly pulled Hannah towards her, kissing her sloppily on the mouth. Angry at the intrusion, Hannah pushed her away forcefully, feeling shocked and disgusted.

"Get off me! What do you think you're doing? How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to hear something about shagging Snape. Don't you miss _me_? I thought we had a future together." If she didn't feel so angry, Hannah might have been more sympathetic. All she could think about was Severus and how he was a much better kisser than Ginny ever was – perhaps because genuine feelings had been involved, rather than just rampaging teenage hormones.

"Yeah, well, if you were more interested in who I really am, rather than who you think I ought to be and what you think you can gain, maybe we would have. Besides, I don't think either of us missed each other last year, did we? Anyway, we've hardly spoken recently. Don't start trying to attach yourself to me just because you're jealous of a relationship that does not exist!" Perhaps upon hearing the raised voices, Edgar swooped into the room, perched on Hannah's shoulder and proceeded to glare and "caw" at Ginny, whom it seemed despised her as equally as Ginny despised him. Hannah stomped off moodily, realising that the feelings she had for Severus were already much more intense than anything she had ever felt for Ginny, despite his lack of acknowledgement of her emotions.

"Good boy, Edgar!" She told the bird appreciatively as a few stray tears escaped her. She stroked his shiny black feathers comfortingly, and he seemed to recognise her distress because for the first time since his arrival, he silently sat still and allowed her to pet him. While the Weasley's felt like family, all she wanted was to return to the comforting familiarity of Hogwarts, where she could immerse herself with distractions and avoid unnecessary social interaction.


	8. The Silver Wolf

Chapter Eight

The silver wolf

Had circumstances been different, Hannah would have thoroughly enjoyed her time spent at The Burrow. While she was grateful for the distraction Christmas had provided, increasing anxiety about her future, her black dog and her constant worrying about the next full moon meant that she just couldn't settle her mind for the duration of the holidays. Perhaps sensing Hannah unease, Hermione had suggested that they return to Hogwarts slightly earlier than they needed to, offering Molly the excuse that they needed to study. Returning to Hogwarts, with all the distractions it would provide her had been a welcome relief. While eager to thank Severus for sending her Edgar, she hadn't managed to muster up the courage to return to his chambers to speak with him yet, and whenever she saw him in the Great Hall, or in corridors, he seemed eager to ignore her. _Some Gryffindor,_ Hannah thought. How talking to Severus could feel more intimidating than walking right up to Voldemort expecting to die, she'd never know. She would soon have to talk to him regardless, as they'd _already_ need to resume making her potion next week. While she loved spending time with him, potion making was going to get old.

Hannah sighed at her melancholy thoughts while pushing her breakfast around her plate. The thought of eating it only made her feel queasy, and she was finding her appetite seemed to be increasingly diminishing. Edgar had started to become ridiculously attached to her and had been following her every move. After watching her, he'd obviously decided that her bacon looked far too appetising to leave and he hopped onto the table to pinch it. Ron looked offended at her apparent lack of distress at Edgar's behaviour.

"Are you just going to let him steal your food all the time?" Hannah shook her head, smiling despite herself.

"Probably. He knows he shouldn't, he just doesn't care. Besides, I don't feel up to eating it, so he might as well enjoy it."

"Trust Snape to send you the most irritating bird he could find! It even looks like him a bit…all dark and menacing." Ron said partially in amused contempt.

"Yeah, but I love him anyway, don't I Edgar?" Bacon demolished, Edgar fluffed up his feathers in a pompous kind of way, looking pleased with himself. "Maybe he'll steal yours next time, and _you_ can tell him off!" Hannah teased as Ron pulled his plate closer to defend his food.

"Oi! Don't give him ideas!" Shaking her head in amusement, Hannah looked over towards Severus. He was reading his paper with an intense scowl on his face, and as usual, he seemed completely uninterested in the antics of any of the students.

"Don't worry, you'll get your chance. You can talk to him after our defence lesson again. He won't have a choice but to talk to you sooner or later." Hermione reminded her with a knowing smile.

"What's in the paper today? Severus looks like he's going to make his spontaneously combust, the way he's reading it," she asked Hermione who passed Hannah her unopened copy. She looked at the title and frowned. "Lucius Malfoy cleared of all charges? No wonder Sev looks so pissed. He had to give evidence a few weeks ago. I'm betting it wasn't in Malfoys favour."

"That's outrageous! How on earth did he get away with it?" Hermione said crossly.

"Money. Buys everything doesn't it? Nobody cares about who you are, or what you've done when money's handed over." Ron said irritably.

Feeling a little guilty for not giving it a second thought until now, Hannah realised that Lucius must have been the person Severus had given evidence against last month. Feeling a little sick at the thought of what Lucius had probably gotten away with, she looked over to Draco. To her surprise, he didn't look particularly happy with the news either.

For the Seventh and Eighth years, the first day back had seen their usual timetable replaced with a series of career lectures and workshops. Ministry employees and various other recruiters had come to the school to chew their ears off about why they should work for _them_ and how _great_ their jobs were. Remembering Severus' insistence that she should apply for whatever she desired, Hannah had gratefully taken an Auror application form from a far too enthusiastic Ministry worker and had decided to apply. Ron had taken one too, and they had a good laugh while filling out some of the questions, particularly ones pertaining to 'relevant experience.' Deciding that listing the number of confrontations she had faced would look a little arrogant, she decided to simply write "Defeated the dark wizard Voldemort, ending the battle for Hogwarts." When she reached the end of the form, she hesitated upon seeing a question that would normally have angered her. It must have been a remnant from Dolores Umbridge's time at the Ministry, and she expected someone might just be about to be fired for not removing something so offensive. The bottom of the form requested the applicant's blood status, and only offered three choices. _Pureblood, halfblood or other (please specify)_.

Glancing at her hand and taking in the ironic silver scars that reminded her to not tell lies, she decided to go against Severus' advice to simply omit the truth. She wasn't going to live her life hiding in the dark and pretending to be someone she was not. Ticking the other box, Hannah shakily wrote one single word, _Werewolf_. She knew her grades were up to scratch, and she knew she probably had more experience than anyone else that had ever applied for training at her age. If the Ministry wouldn't overlook her monthly _day off_ , then she'd rather live in poverty than work for them. After all, she was an idealist. She'd even defeated Voldemort without ever sinking to his level, and had turned his own hate back at him instead of producing her own curse. Perhaps if they'd employ her, she could prove her worth and other werewolves might get a chance too. If the Ministry had learnt nothing from the previous year, then she didn't want anything to do with it. She folded the paper into an envelope and addressed it. This would be the first time she'd send Edgar with a letter, and she stroked some of his feathers hoping he wouldn't be gone for too long.

"Edgar, I need you to take this to the Ministry of Magic – Auror department okay?" He lifted his head up regally and allowed her to tie the letter to his leg before she opened the window. He took off and quickly disappeared from sight.

"You finished that quickly, didn't you want any of the Professors to go over it? Not even Professor Snape?" Hermione admonished. No. Hannah thought, she definitely did not want any of the Professors to go over it. Besides, she was confident in everything she had written. Only the Werewolf bit was remotely worrying. Not really wanting to hint at what she had written, she replied light-heartedly.

"Nah, I think I can apply for a job without help." She said rolling her eyes in mild irritation. Hermione shrugged.

"Suit yourself, I'm still weighing my options. I really want to make a difference to wizarding law, especially with regards to so-called creature-rights. I just don't know how yet…" Hannah tutted but smiled. Hermione would always have good intentions, whatever she chose as her career. Despite her protestations last year when talking to the then minister, Hannah thought that _eventually,_ Hermione would, perhaps ironically, make a good minister for magic.

Hannah's first few defence lessons of the new term did not go well, at least so far as Severus was concerned. He'd completely ignored her for the length of every lesson, and it seemed that for all intents and purposes, Hannah no longer existed. Perhaps he really was indifferent to her, and she had read far too much into what had happened. After all, he had spoken of his regret. Perhaps his patience with her had finally run out. A feeling of despondency and crippling self-doubt had settled in her heart, but she knew someone was going to have to help her with her potion. There was little choice in the matter. Several days before she'd need it, she once again waited at the end, hoping to speak with him.

"Professor, will we be brew…," but before she had even managed to ask him, he had stormed off out of the classroom, leaving her behind with Ron and Hermione. In a moment of panic, she realised that he might fob her off to Professor Slughorn.

By the time the sun had set, she was blankly staring out into space through the window of her room in Gryffindor tower. Her spirits brightened a little when she saw Edgar fly to the windowsill and wait to be let in. Welcoming home with some pine nuts as a reward for his efforts, she hastily took the letter attached to his foot.

"Dear Miss Potter…we will review your application accordingly…expect to hear back from us after the N.E.W.T results are published in July…"

It wasn't a No, and there was no mention of her werewolf status, but Hannah realised that in all likelihood this was just a standard Ministry reply to Hogwarts students. It seemed unlikely that anybody had actually reviewed her application yet.

Not for the first time since the war, Hannah found herself suffering another restless night. Normally, her nightmares would follow a similar path, and she'd be fighting Voldemort or trying in vain to save the people who had perished last year. She'd suffered several nightmares in a row this time, and the last one had involved her savagely killing her friends during the full moon. Disturbed and frightened by the prospect, it had taken her a long time to get back to sleep. By the time she had awoken, she was late for breakfast.

When she eventually entered the great hall, a regrettably familiar scene played out in front of her. It was as if the entire hall had been waiting for her, and every face seemed to be watching her as indecipherable whispers followed her entry into the room. Many of the students were looking at her with pity, but other others stared in disgust. Peeking at Severus, she saw he was regarding her warily too, as if he thought she was going to explode into one of her infamous hot-headed tantrums imminently. She hoped that the cause wasn't what she thought it was, but something was telling her that everyone now knew she wasn't entirely human. Before she could reach the table, Ron and Hermione rushed towards her. Hermione grabbed her hand tightly and pulled her back out of the room, before passing her the morning's paper. Her heart sank as she saw the headline on the front page– so much for confidentiality.

 **"** _Hannah Potter Alleged Werewolf._ Tragic circumstances once again surround our most beloved war hero. According to reliable sources, Hannah Potter, having recently survived a Werewolf attack, now suffers under its curse. Will the public be sympathetic to her cause? Or will they once again turn their backs on her? Best known for her defeat of the Dark Lord last year and for being the only known survivor of the killing curse, Tri-wizard Champion Hannah Potter…Reeta Skeeter reports...Continues on page 3."

It read like something written to commemorate someone's death, and it seemed that her life was being summed up for the general public to cry over as if they knew her personally.

"I knew you couldn't trust him! It was that greasy git wasn't it?" Ron angrily asked. Sighing as she handed the paper back to Hermione, Hannah shook her head.

"No. If he wanted to be cruel, he'd just make sarcastic comments that make it obvious. He'd never go to the press, it's beneath him."

"Aren't you going to read the rest of it?" Hermione asked.

"No. I seriously don't care what that woman has to say. I was expecting this to happen eventually, just not this soon." She sighed and bit her lip nervously. "Severus didn't report me, I think, unintentionally, I bought this upon myself. I wrote werewolf on my application form the other day...I guess I didn't want to hide it and I don't want to work for someone if I'm going to have to. I suppose whoever received the form must have cashed in on my misfortune…" They nodded in understanding.

"I think that as very brave. Admirable, even." Hermione said with a small smile.

"Well, whatever. I still want my breakfast, let them stare. I'm far past the point of caring what people think anymore." Hannah said as she headed back into the hall. Stalking to her usual spot with her head held high, she sat down. She grabbed some toast, and when Edgar swooped down to greet her good morning, she gave him his now usual slice of bacon without further comment to anyone, ignoring everyone else in the room.

Lessons that day were a chore. Unashamed whispers followed her everywhere she went, and a few fellow students outright asked her if it was true, to which she'd simply reply "why?", or "what does it matter to you?" Her answers confused most people, but effectively only confirmed their suspicions. It was clear that they expected her to vehemently deny the accusation. Obviously, they had learnt nothing from the war. How quickly people forgot the results of prejudice when they were unaffected by it, she thought. While none of the teachers actually asked her about it, they all gave her concerned glances and danced around her as if she was something fragile that would break easily. All except for Slughorn who already knew and had warmly told her to keep her chin up. She wondered if Severus had told him about last month's mistake. Fortunately, or unfortunately – Hannah couldn't decide, they didn't have defence today, and she wouldn't see Severus until tomorrow, _hopefully,_ to brew her potion. In defiance, Ron and Hermione showed Hannah their support by carrying on as if nothing had happened and had refused to answer anyone's questions all day. Not for the first time, Hannah was grateful for the love and acceptance of her two closest friends.

That evening, Hannah headed to the kitchens and pinched some uncooked meat before heading out into the forest. She'd wanted some time alone with her thoughts, and had decided to visit the thestrals knowing that their appearance meant they didn't get the love and attention they deserved. She suspected most of the students could see them now, but she'd never noticed anyone other than Luna visit them. Edgar loyally followed her, flying overhead. For a grumpy, cantankerous kind of bird, he had certainly become attached, though she wondered if he just thought he'd get some of the meat in her satchel. The thestrals seemed to appreciate her gesture, and once all the meat had been disposed of, Hannah found herself idly stroking one that had remained despite her now empty bag. She realised it was the one she had ridden on a few years ago when they went to the Ministry. It certainly seemed to appreciate her presence more than the others, and she wondered if it remembered her.

Despite everything, Severus never really seemed to leave her thoughts, but she slowly came to a painful decision. Trying to be realistic, she realised she'd have to forget all about their kisses and his loving embrace. Maybe he _was_ too old, too knowledgeable and too experienced to be interested in her. She shook her head, thinking they hadn't actually spent much time alone together, how could he possibly care for her? Could deep affection really even blossom in such a short space of time? Perhaps she had been deluded when she'd said she knew he felt something for her too.

Just when she had decided that she needed to get over whatever her feelings were, she saw an ethereal silver figure speeding towards her. The bright effigy circled her and stopped directly in front of her. It was someone's Patronus, a glowing reflection of their soul. Now that the bright light had stilled she could see it clearly. A wolf, and it was carrying a message specifically _for her_. Remus and Tonks were the only people she knew to have a wolf Patronus, and they had both died in the battle. Confused, her heart sped up when the beautiful animal spoke with a familiar deep, resonating voice that she would always recognise.

"Tomorrow. Same Time, same place. No excuses. Do. Not. Be. Late."

Purpose fulfilled, the wolf quickly disappeared leaving Hannah in stunned, unmoving silence. A Patronus was a reflection of your innermost character, your being – your soul, or whatever you wanted to call it. Something profound had happened to or had changed within Severus _recently_ , since the last time his Patronus had come to her a few weeks ago. Something substantial enough to affect this ethereal reflection of his very soul and change it from a doe to a wolf.

Perhaps not particularly bright, but definitely not an illogical or unintelligent person, Hannah came to a slow, but firm conclusion. Hope resurfacing for the first time in weeks, she dared to believe that the doe had changed into a wolf because of _her_. It was far too much of a coincidence for anything else to have caused such an unlikely change. If it had presented in _any_ other form, she'd never have reached the conclusion that was forming in her mind. Severus definitely cared for her, and he may even love her. Self-doubt refusing to completely dissipate, thoughts at the back of her mind were telling her that he may have simply accepted her for who she really is, but the louder part of her inner monologue convinced her that such a change in attitude wouldn't be substantial enough to cause such a dramatic shift. Hannah remembered the way he'd been looking at her, how he'd been patiently helping her and the depth of feelings she had felt from him in the two kisses they shared the night of her transgression. Regardless of whether he knew it, whether he approved of it, and whether he'd ever admit it to her face, Severus loved her.

Basking in newfound hope and relief in the knowledge that perhaps she was not going insane, Hannah gripped her wand and brought forward the memory of the joy and love she had felt when he had kissed her while focusing on the words "Thank you," before saying the incantation "Expecto Patronum." At the last moment, her mind recalled the fear she had felt when she had realised she could easily have killed him that night, and for the second time in recent history, her Patronus failed to present a corporeal form. A shield was good enough to repel a few dementors, but it was never going to charge off with her message. Determined not to be discouraged by her failure, Hannah decided that she now had the perfect excuse to confront him personally. She gathered her courage and headed back to the castle, walking as briskly as the rough terrain would allow.

Flustered and out of breath from the long trek, she asked the painting of Cliodna if Severus was home. Cliodna nodded, and Hannah was, to her immense surprise, instantly admitted into Severus' private chambers. She stormed into the room unashamedly brashly, noticing he was sat in his usual spot by the fireplace.

"Severus! Your patro…" Hannah faltered upon realising that Severus was not in fact alone. Professor McGonagall had apparently decided he was due a visit and was sat in the armchair opposite his. Slightly scowling at her rude interruption, he tutted disapprovingly.

"And to what, exactly, do I owe the _pleasure_ , Miss Potter?" He asked. Professor McGonagall turned around in her seat, surprised.

"Hannah! What are you doing here? And why do you look so flushed?" She asked, naturally wondering what on earth Hannah was doing arriving unannounced in the private quarters of her teacher. Thinking fast, Hannah decided that this was definitely not the time to bring up Severus' changed Patronus.

"Oh…um…I just…got in from the cold….anyway, yeah….Sev, I mean, I wanted to ask Professor Snape about my potions tomorrow. I just…wanted to make sure about the time and…to say I got his message and…stuff." She winced at how ridiculous she must have sounded blithering on so inarticulately. Severus actually looked like he was trying not to smirk at her flustered and inarticulate state behind Professor McGonagall's back, and Hannah was glad that she amused him at least.

"As per my message earlier, six p.m., in the potions classroom tomorrow. What about my message was unclear?" His message had told her _so much more than that_ , she thought.

"I just…wanted to confirm it personally." Severus narrowed his eyes and studied her intently again. He obviously realised something was up, and she hoped he wouldn't ask, or try and poke around in her head. Not with McGonagall watching them at least. It occurred to Hannah that Severus likely hadn't realised his Patronus had changed.

"How _privileged_ I am…"

"Tst, Severus! Would it kill you to be kind? Take a seat, Hannah, I've been meaning to see how you're getting on anyway." Hannah sat down on an unoccupied sofa between them before Professor McGonagall continued. "How are your potion lessons coming along?"

"Um…I think, maybe you should ask Sev…Professor Snape.

"I've already asked him, I was looking for your opinion." Hannah took a long deep breath. In all honesty, she hadn't really been thinking about it too much with her mind being so distracted.

"I won't lie, it's a tough potion, but Professor Snape has been an excellent teacher, and I think…I might just manage to make one properly soon." She saw Severus nod in agreement in the corner of her eye, and she relaxed a little with the knowledge that he didn't seem to think her completely hopeless.

"I'm glad to hear it, Severus made much the same assessment earlier. Are your monthly transformations going as well as can be expected? Severus tells me that you have been taking your potions as planned and seem to be coping remarkably well." Hannah looked over at Severus feeling impossibly grateful. Apparently, he hadn't told the Headmistress about her miscalculation last month. She smiled at him appreciatively.

"Yes, it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but obviously the actual transformation is _really_ unpleasant. Severus' potion really helps though. I guess I'll get used to it eventually." Professor McGonagall was studying her kindly but in mild disbelief.

"I suppose if anyone could take something like this so well it would be you. Make sure to take care of yourself won't you? Don't hesitate to take some time off lessons if you need to." Hannah smiled at her but practically squeaked her hurried reply.

"Thanks, Professor. I better get going…" Wanting to make this uncomfortable chat as short as possible, Hannah got up to leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Potter," Severus said firmly as if she'd forget to turn up. Hannah nodded and left through the portrait, emotions muddled. She looked up at Cliodna and scowled at her. "Could have warned me! You did that deliberately didn't you?" She asked glaring at the painting.

Hannah arrived at the potions classroom the following Friday evening with Edgar sat on her shoulder. He'd refused point blank to go to the owlery, and his claws were digging into her shoulders uncomfortably. When she entered the room, Severus had already set up the single cauldron and was sat with his arms crossed, looking out of the window, seemingly daydreaming. Edgar "cawed" when he saw him and flew onto his shoulder, Severus completely ignored him and turned towards Hannah. He didn't seem to look his usual self, and she wondered if he was getting as little sleep as she was.

"I read your obituary yesterday morning. Strange, considering you are currently standing here before me, alive and well." Anger flaring up, she couldn't contain her displeasure at the article.

"Stupid, bloody Reeta Skeeter! I don't care what she has to say, I didn't even read past the front page! I just wish people would stop staring at me like I'm some kind of…aren't they bored of me yet?" She huffed, sitting down opposite him.

"Apparently not, _hero_ …" he said smirking at her. She groaned and covered her face with her hands.

"Does this mean you think I've been punished enough? Are we…friends again?" He stayed silent and began to prepare ingredients, not committing to an answer either way. She joined him. Edgar hopped onto the desk and eyed the shiny knives they would be using to chop up the plants. Severus narrowed his eyes at him pre-emptively and Hannah could tell Edgar wasn't going to get away with anything.

"Don't. Even. Think about it." Edgar had the good sense to perch himself on a chair behind them and watch from afar, and Hannah took it as an opportunity to make conversation.

"Thanks for Edgar, by the way. I love him. And thanks for…you know…not telling the Headmistress about last month." Severus nodded but then looked at her doubtfully.

"You called him Edgar? That's quite possibly the most unoriginal name for a raven you could have thought of.

"Hey! He likes it…besides, it was Hermione that suggested it. I just happened to think it suited him." Severus huffed.

"Of course, she did."

"Did you have a good Christmas not having to deal with all of your irritating students?" She asked trying to make conversation, but effectively failing.

"It was productive." He said non-committedly.

They completed their work in silence and Hannah didn't dare bring up the topic of his Patronus, but when the potion was completed, she couldn't hold all of her thoughts in.

"I think…we need to talk about…" Before she had chance to finish her sentence, he narrowed his eyes and interrupted her.

"No, we don't. Drink your potion." Not knowing how long she'd be able to contain all of her emotions, she took the potion, promising herself that she would find a way to make him talk as soon as possible.

By her extracurricular potions lesson the following day, Hannah had a plan. She didn't know if he'd take the bait and she didn't know for sure that he hadn't noticed his Patronus had changed. In an attempt to lead up to asking him why it was now different, she decided to interrogate him with academic questions regarding their form. Two cauldrons were already set up when she entered the room, and after greeting each other, they began working separately. She waited until they were near the end of the process to speak, hoping they wouldn't get distracted.

"Severus? I haven't been able to cast my Patronus since becoming a werewolf. Is it possible that I've somehow…I dunno, lost the ability?" He looked concerned and paused in his work in contemplation.

"No. There should be no reason why you can't cast that spell. I assume you're using memories that are strong enough?"

"Of course. I was wondering. Sometimes people's Patronus can change, right? I mean, could mine be different now because I'm a werewolf?" Severus contemplated for a moment, while Hannah continued working on her potion. It was bubbling away remarkably well, and she thought that for once, she might be onto a winner.

"Perhaps. Though in your case, I doubt it. You would have to unconsciously believe that your true character was that of a werewolf. Even then it seems unlikely. It takes a dramatic, fundamental change in who you are."

"What kind of change? I remember Tonks' changed to a wolf because she fell in love with Remus. Does this happen often?" Severus snorted disdainfully as if the very idea offended him.

"Rarely. In her case, it was probably emotional distress that affected her. It is a poorly studied area, but I'd imagine only a significant change in feelings over a short space of time could alter it that way. In any case, most people tend to attach themselves to…partners that compliment them, as opposed to changing them. But you need to remember that a Patronus represents a person's fundamental character and people don't often change who they are overnight."

"Is that…what happened to you? Your character changed in some way?" She asked softly. He remained silent for a long moment, and he obviously had no idea what she was talking about. But then, perhaps as a spark of comprehension began to form, he glared at her, clearly suddenly wary of her intentions.

"What _exactly_ are you referring to?" Hannah tried to remain calm, but her hands were shaking slightly, and her heart was racing. He'd unwittingly confirmed her suspicions, and she needed to make him understand that what they were feeling was _right_. She focused on her work and didn't look up as she spoke.

"The reason I so rudely barged into your living room on Thursday night _was because_ I got your message – I didn't lie. I couldn't say anything with McGonagall there but, your Patronus came in an unusual form…a silver wolf delivered your message, not a silver doe…" Severus' hand was gripping his knife tightly, and he looked remarkably vulnerable - as if he'd been exposed of committing a crime he hadn't yet realised he'd even committed.

"Are you okay?" Hannah said gently, worriedly placing her hand on his, only for him to immediately withdraw it.

"Why on Earth would such things matter to _you_? Is this your attempt at getting revenge? Have you _finally_ learned how to play the long game? Such _chivalry_ does not become you." He had resurrected his cruel, mocking demeanour, and Hannah couldn't help but squirm as he looked down on her with the sneer that would grace his face when he was Snape, the dreaded potions master. Panicking Hannah shook her head, tears once again starting to form unshed in her eyes.

"No! Of course not, I'd never hurt you like that. Not now. I'm not stupid, your Patronus changed because of me…you _must_ realise I feel the same about you?" She said as calmly as she was able.

"And what is it _exactly_ that you feel?" He snarled. Ever the Gryffindor, she took a deep breath to steady herself before the inevitable confessions to come.

"I'm falling in love with you…" He sneered with irritated doubt, and he shook his head.

"Don't be ridiculous. You don't even know what love is, you're far too young…" Despite everything, his patronising comment angered her, and she glared back at him.

"How dare you say that?! Yes, I'm young, but I know how I feel. My emotions are _real_. Don't insult me by denying my feelings, just because you can't bear to face yours! Is it really because I'm…a werewolf? Is that the real reason you…" The whispered question seemed to make him even angrier because his face was actually softening until she had said that.

"You dare insinuate such a thing?! You tell me that you _love_ me in one sentence and accuse me of holding such ridiculous, primitive notions in the next! Explain to me! Why, exactly do you _love_ me?" It was only with great effort that she managed to stop angry tears from appearing, and she felt completely humiliated, but he hadn't denied _his_ feelings to her, he'd only questioned _hers_. Despite everything, she calmed, smiling as she recounted some of what she had surmised about the real Severus over the past few months.

"I love that you're loyal. You'd do _anything_ for someone you truly cared about. I love that you're witty, and you have a sharp tongue that used to terrify me, but now serves as an endless source of amusement. I love your intelligence and understanding. I love your kindness, even when you're not obvious about it. I love that you see me for who I am, at least now, and that you treat me like I'm normal. I love that don't ever stare at my scar as if it defines me, despite knowing what evil it was hiding. I love that when you look at me, you really are looking at _me,_ just Hannah. I even love your silence – that we can just enjoy each other's company. I don't know when it started, but my feelings solidified that night, when you held me as if nothing else mattered and took care of me, even when I had made such a terrible mistake. When I'm with you, it's like everything's alright with the world and I can just be me. But, what you're asking me to define is impossible. Love cannot be summed up like an equation or a puzzle to solve. It just is, and I embrace it wholeheartedly. I just hope that you can too."

Once she had started her ramblings, she couldn't stop. She was only just realising half of the things that she said, but she still knew that every word was true. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense for her to love _him_ , the person who had risked everything for her so many times.

By the time Hannah dared to return her gaze to his, he had moved impossibly close to her, and his angry sneer had disappeared. To her surprise, he gently lifted her up and pushed her backwards, so she was sat on top of the work table and he was standing between her legs. The heat from his body so close to hers felt wonderfully comforting. He softly brushed the few stray tears she'd shed from her face and tucked her hair back behind her ears. Looking hesitant and uncertain, he took one of her hands in his and entwined their fingers together seemingly testing the feeling. He scanned her face as if searching for the truth, and Hannah felt slightly embarrassed at her outburst, expecting him to tell her she's a silly little school girl.

" _Hannah_ , in reality, we've hardly spent any time together. How can you be so sure?"

"I just know. We've hardly spent any time together, and yet _I_ already feel this strongly, and _you_ have a new Patronus. How will we feel in a few months, or in a few years?" Contrary to her expectations, he leaned in enticingly close to her, and his eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips.

 _"_ Then _, this_ is what you want? You won't change your mind? Despite the fact that I'm twenty years your senior? Despite my temperament? Despite my past? Because I confess in advance, once I've got you, I might not let you go." Hannah shook her head and smiled with pure joy. Stubborn and strong-willed, once she'd made her mind up she'd stick to it. Besides, she already knew she'd always love this man, and she prayed that he would see reason – that he would accept the love she was offering and gift her his in return.

"I don't _want_ you to let me go, and I _love_ that you're older. I'm only even more attracted to you because of that. I know it's a big difference _now_ and that I'm…well…inexperienced at everything except _trying not to die_. I'm a pro at that at least. But age really doesn't matter, twenty years will be nothing when you're eighty, and I'm sixty. If your Patronus is now a wolf…well, what's the point in waiting if our feelings won't change? Can _you_ see me being happy with someone my age? Someone that doesn't have a clue what life is about yet?" He tutted looking somewhat cynical.

"You're certainly thinking ahead…too far ahead. You may yet change your mind. Things change. That is the nature of life, and most especially the nature of people. One day, you will likely feel the need to spread your wings and fly away." She was about to protest, but he put a finger on her lips to silence her. "I'm not telling you _no_. I'm not strong enough to tell you no. I don't know what it is about you Hannah, but I find myself unable to stop thinking about you. It's constant. It's unbearable. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought you'd slipped something into my pumpkin juice at dinner."

"Does my age make you uncomfortable? Is that why you're hesitant?" He contemplated for a long moment, and Hannah feared he would say yes.

"It is a _concern_. Still, you're an adult, you're beautiful, you're talented, and you've already experienced more pain than most people have in a lifetime. I fear my presence will only add more pain to your life. That is my main concern."

"Severus, _life is for living_ …it's time we started living it instead of living in the shadows. This _is_ me spreading my wings and flying away. I thought coming back here, to Hogwarts would somehow…I dunno, bring some kind of closure. But it's just…"

"Brought disaster."

"Maybe, but that brought me to you. I'm not going to change my mind, and even if I did, I'd have no regrets. But I _would_ regret not trying…not living life to the full. Not taking the leap that could lead to infinite joy. Besides, we need each other. Loneliness does strange things to people, and that would be much more painful than your presence. _Especially_ when it's only your presence I crave."

He didn't reply, but his eyes were soft and loving, and his thumb brushed along the small but still obvious scar on her cheek. Her heart began to beat embarrassingly erratically as a nervous, yet pleasurable wave of anticipation washed over her. Gently pulling her against him, he gently kissed paths on her forehead and on her cheeks before _finally_ kissing her on the lips. Tentative, chaste and loving at first but gradually intensifying as he deepened it. She ran her hands over his chest, longing to run her fingers over the thick hair she knew he was concealing beneath his cotton shirt. The kiss was just as passionate as the first one in the forest, and she desperately tried to convey all of her feelings in it as they held onto one another ever tighter. Breathless, but feeling victorious, Hannah rested her forehead on his, savouring this first truly intentional loving moment in his arms, and feeling completely content for the first time in a very long time.

"I'm going to keep in mind that kissing you is a very effective way of interrupting your incessant, yet utterly convincing monologue." He said with eyes full of mirth as she smiled in pure victorious joy.

A strange hissing sound interrupted their reverie, and they looked at each other with confused expressions, both seemingly having forgotten the reason they were in this room. Severus clocked on first, and his face paled as he grabbed Hannah's nearby wand in panic, bringing forth a strong protego that engulfed Hannah, Severus and Hannah's potion. Not for the first time, they were shielded just in time as his forgotten potion exploded everywhere. Releasing her, he quickly looked over Hannah's unfinished brew.

"Quick, add the petals! We might be able to salvage it." Hannah jumped down from the desk and added the petals to her potion. Almost to her disappointment, it turned a deceptively pleasant pale blue and began to emit a light smoke. Severus' eyebrows raised comically in surprise.

"It's…perfect. You should know, I've not had such a disaster with a potion in over a decade…you _should_ feel proud. Nothing can distract me when I'm brewing…except you, apparently. Well, drink up," he said pouring it into a goblet. Feeling amazed, elated and relieved at the day's turn of events, Hannah drank the potion without complaint and without pulling her habitual faces at its taste. After a few moments, she asked Severus about the elephant in the room.

"So…this is a stupid question, but what now? We're still student and teacher for this year, and whether we like it or not, it's going to be a little complicated." He shrugged surprisingly nonchalantly.

"That's not a stupid question, but honestly? I have no idea. I'm sure everything will naturally fall into place. There's no need to rush _anything_ , we have lots of time." With his hands caressing her hips, he once again leaned in and kissed her, only to pull back with a groan after she deepened it. Feeling hurt, she had a small moment of panic – was he going to change his mind so soon?

"I can see where you're coming from…that potion _is_ _disgusting_ , and I would know!" He complained, wrinkling his nose in a very un-Snape like way causing Hannah to giggle.

"Perhaps you're not that smart after all!"

"No, perhaps not." He said as he gave her another admittedly short and chaste kiss.

"This isn't the part where you use your authority over me to send me back to Gryffindor tower is it?"

"No…I'm only an authority over you in the classroom… this is the part where I _ask you_ if you would like to accompany me back to my quarters to enjoy a more palatable drink."

"Hmm. Do you know, I think I might like that!" At her words, he took her hand and led her out of the classroom, ignoring the mess they had unwittingly made. "Are you going to make some misbehaving first year clean up all of our mess?" She asked with a grin, and he smirked wickedly.

"Oh, yes. Flitch is supervising a Sunday detention tomorrow afternoon. I'll let him know. By then, I'm sure a positively beautiful aroma will await them, I almost wish we would be there to watch!" Turning to her, he looked indecisive for a second before sighing. "I shouldn't do this…but twenty points to Gryffindor. Ten for learning an exceptionally difficult potion, and ten for convincing a stubborn git to come to his senses." Smiling brightly, she giggled in amusement.

"Well, we _do_ love breaking the rules don't we? Do I get ten more for my kissing skills?" He snorted loudly and shook his head.

"No. If I give you points for _that_ you'll be expecting it every time!"

"Yeah, I get the feeling I'm going to attack your lips a lot, _Professor_." She said cheekily, unable to stop herself kissing him once more to prove her point.


	9. Omnis Lacrima

Chapter Nine

Omnis lacrima

Soon after Hannah had sleepily left his quarters to return to Gryffindor tower, Severus Snape found himself storming his way through the castle. Silently reaching the Headmistress's office, he uttered the password "Elphinstone," and entered the dark, unlit room. Thankfully, being late at night, Minerva had retired, so his privacy would be maintained. Being a solitary man, he shook his head at the fact that he felt the need to accost a dead man's portrait in attempt to gain reassurance that he was capable of feeling something he was already hyper-aware of. Still, part of him blamed the man for his newfound inappropriate attachment, and he found himself slightly angry.

"Albus! Do stop pretending to be asleep, you fool nobody, old man," he admonished, as he walked up to the painting of the late Headmaster. The painting was either actually asleep or had decided to ignore him because he didn't stir. Irritated by Albus' ignorant form, Severus decided the best way to get his attention was to do something completely unpredictable. Besides, this was a conversation he really needed to get off his chest.

"Fine! Expecto Patronum…" his wolf burst forth from his wand, and he contained the creature within the room, getting it to sit beside him. Not having seen his new form yet, Severus scrutinised it. Unmistakably a very large wolf, it was around the same size as his doe, and he thought he could make out dark patterns on its fur. Probably a grey wolf, he thought. To his surprise, he felt the form suited him, at least for the most part. Wolves were intelligent, savage hunters that tended to be either indifferent to, or wary of humans. They were affectionate towards members of their own pack but could kill outsiders without much thought. More often than not, they mated for life, and even lone wolves tended to create their own pack _eventually_. He sighed and folded his arms at his thoughts. Having already known that his feelings had changed, he had believed Hannah the second she had informed him of his new form. Despite this, something about actually seeing the wolf made everything hit home. He was in love with Hannah Potter, and there was no longer any point in denying it either to her or to himself. He snorted and shook his head as he realised the irony of having told Tonks that her wolf looked weak compared to its jackrabbit predecessor.

"Severus? To what do I owe the honour, so late at…" faltering as he saw the wolf, Albus stared at the silver creature at Severus' side in shock. Apparently even _he_ hadn't foreseen this strange turn of events. Severus sneered at the portrait and pointed at the glowing creature.

"This is entirely _your_ fault, Albus! I kept my promise. I've gotten to know her. _This_ is the bloody result!" Albus failed to contain a small chuckle and smiled widely at him, immediately grasping precisely what had happened.

"A most unlikely turn of events indeed. Though I cannot deny, it pleases me to see such hatred turn on its head and transform into love. I always knew you had more in common than you wanted to admit. Fate works in mysterious ways. Maybe you had to hate each other when she was a child so that you could love her once she became a woman. Now, Severus, what have you found that has had such a profound impact on you?" Sighing, but knowing Albus would not likely let the subject drop, Severus decided to share _some_ of the things he had discovered over the past few months.

"She is…not what I expected. I find her…bemusing. Predictable and yet, not predictable at all. Insightful but amusingly inarticulate until suddenly she has me entranced by her every word. She's remarkably strong on the outside, but there is a sorrow and fear within her that she only shows to those closest to her. Mostly, I find her remarkably forgiving and humble, something I would never have expected. I do not understand how such compassion and selflessness could manifest in her, given her lot in life." Watching Albus warily before he continued, he was acutely aware that several short weeks ago he would never have believed the statement he knew would have to follow. "She…claims to love me in return. It was the most infuriatingly bemusing statement to ever grace her lips, and yet… clearly, I…I cannot…" He sighed and shook his head as Albus continued to smile at Severus' rambling seeming to agree with his assessment of Hannah's character.

"I suspect it's the confusion that caught your eye at first, you always did like a puzzle to solve. I hope you do not intend to keep your own intense feelings from her. I did wonder when I heard rumours of her repeatedly staying in your chambers, Severus. Especially once I heard that you'd carried her from the Room of Requirement to your quarters wrapped in nothing but your own cloak! Perhaps I should inform the Headmistress."

"Nothing that inappropriate has happened!" He said in a panic. "She was tired, and weak after the full moon, I merely…" He was interrupted with light laughter and a knowing look from the Headmaster.

"Don't worry, Severus. I know it would be beneath you to take advantage of the situation." He looked away in shame as he remembered the events in the forest several weeks ago, and how close he had been to making love to her on the forest floor. "What do you intend to do about it? Does she know of your feelings?"

"I unwittingly proved them without needing to tell her. I had sent her a message with what I thought was a doe, unbeknownst to me a wolf appeared to her. She then accosted me about it, and…well, things escalated. I wanted your advice. She is _so young,_ and she has such goodness within her, whereas I…do not. I cannot help but feel unworthy. I _am_ unworthy." Albus' eyebrows rose, and he placed a finger on his lips, deep contemplation gracing his face.

"There is far more goodness in you than you realise. I hope you do not intend to reject her. Hannah has a great deal of love to offer, and you would do well to accept her affection. Denial will ultimately be pointless. You won't be able to resist her forever, and you will only cause each other great pain if you attempt to reject what has so obviously already blossomed between you." Severus was shaking his head.

"I find myself incapable of rejecting her, but I do not know _how_ to love, Albus. I'll make her miserable."

"Yes, you do. The evidence is brightly sitting right next to you, lighting up this whole room. You asked for my advice? My advice to you is to embrace it, a keen sense of self-preservation is one of Slytherin house's most prominent traits is it not?" Severus rolled his eyes and tutted at that last comment.

"I think we are beyond such simplistic views of character traits, are we not? I hope you haven't forgotten it goes against the entire rule-book for teachers to engage in romantic entanglements with students?" Albus chucked, mirth gleaming brightly in his eyes.

" _Really_ , as if you or Hannah Potter _ever_ cared for the rules. Her being a student is a moot point, she is an adult, and if things had been different, she would have finished her education a year ago. The situation would be entirely different if you were corrupting a third-year. Trust me, if Hannah is anything, it's determined. If she is already aware of your feelings and returns them, she won't let you get away without a fight, and as we both know, when it's important to her _she always wins_." Severus nodded his head in agreement knowing what had already occurred between them and cautiously asked his final question. The question that had been on his mind since he had first found himself longing for her.

"What you're saying is…that you don't think it's wrong for me…to love her?"

"My _dear_ Severus, love is never wrong. It can be misplaced perhaps, but only if it is not returned or taken selfishly. Your love for her is a great strength, not a weakness. Time will show you that it's not the burden you envision."

HP

Finding herself completely unable to sleep after leaving Severus for the night, Hannah found herself aimlessly wandering the castle, her loud thoughts ensuring there was no way she'd get any sleep tonight. While he hadn't admitted it verbally, Severus loved her, and she loved him. It should be the most uncomplicated thing in the world, and yet she thought their situation was… _complicated_. Severus was her teacher, and she was sure his job would be on the line if they were caught doing having an _unprofessional_ relationship. Not to mention her werewolf status and Severus' past as a Death Eater. She worried that she'd be a burden to him. Having a werewolf about the house was only ever going to be a liability, and she knew further judgement would be thrust upon them once everything became public. Yet she couldn't help but feel ecstatically happy, and while she could feel the black dog somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind, for tonight at least, he was well and truly chained.

Knowing that Albus would have been sympathetic to her position, she decided to visit the Headmaster's office. Albus' advice – or at least his portrait's advice, might just be what she needed to settle her overly loud thoughts. Hannah uttered the password and silently climbed the stairs, grateful that the password hadn't been altered. Hearing a wonderfully familiar deep voice, she hesitated for a few moments.

"…you don't think it's wrong for me… to love her?"

"My _dear_ Severus, love is never wrong. It can be misplaced perhaps, but only if it is not returned or taken selfishly. Your love for her is a great strength, not a weakness. Time will show you that it's not the burden you envision." Her heart soared as she heard Severus' confession and Albus' accepting and encouraging reply, even if neither of them had said it to her. Not wanting to sneakily listen in on them at the door, she decided to enter the office, with a simple knock announcing her presence. Opening the door, she saw Severus turn to look at whoever had interrupted them, and she saw the beautiful glowing wolf sat beside him, filling the room with a soft light. Initially scowling at the invader of his privacy, his face softened to a more neutral, but wary expression as he saw her enter the room. She bit her lip, hoping he wouldn't be cross at her, and she realised that it would probably be a while before she truly felt his equal. The dynamics of their blossoming relationship was likely going to be affected by their student, teacher status, but Hannah reminded herself that it was only for the rest of one short academic year.

"Hannah? It's very late, you should be resting. It's important you give your body the rest it needs before the full moon." Approaching him, she smiled and shrugged as she basked in the warm glow of his bright Patronus.

"I know, but you need rest too, Severus! Honestly, I went to bed but I couldn't sleep, not after everything that happened earlier. I know it's stupid, but I seriously didn't want to leave you, not so soon after we finally admitted everything. Anyway, I thought I'd pay Professor Dumbledore a visit – I haven't spoken to him since I returned his wand and, well, a lot has happened hasn't it?"

"Yes. I couldn't sleep either and ended up seeking his counsel too. Shall I leave you to speak with him in private?" Hannah looked over at Dumbledore's portrait and shook her head.

"Nope, changed my mind now you're here. Anyway, the old codgers already pretending to be asleep, but we both know he's listening in on our every word. I was only going to ask him if he approved anyway, but that's a stupid question. Albus Dumbledore disapprove of love? Never!" Smiling wryly, Severus offered her his hand, and she took it gratefully, glad for some kind of physical contact.

"Well, as were both up and about anyway…would you care for a walk?" She smiled happily, embracing his warm hand more tightly.

" _In the moonlight?"_ She said imitating his deep sultry tone. "I'd love to." Severus cancelled his Patronus charm, and they headed out into the castle grounds together. Despite previous events, butterflies appeared in her stomach, and she found herself unsure of what to say.

"How much of that conversation did you overhear?" he asked her.

"Oh, not much. Just a sentence or two. Something about Dumbledore trying to convince you that it's okay for us to be together. Oh – and something about love not being a burden…" Severus sighed and squeezed her hand, his thumb brushing over her ironic scar.

"I didn't say loving you would be a burden. He simply…knew me very well. He didn't mean it the way it probably came across." Hannah sniggered.

"So how did he mean it then? As in _oh gee, what a lovely burden_?! You don't have to worry Severus, I think I understand." Biting her lip nervously, she decided to ask him the question that had been on her mind since she left his classroom. "Do you think it's going to be a little… it's going to take some adjustment, isn't it? Especially in classes…are we going to have to keep things secret?"

"I admit relationships with students are not exactly encouraged so discretion will need to become your middle name. I doubt anyone is going to suspect _us_ of anything untowards though – do you? I don't think we need to worry too much. We have plenty of time to see how things develop, and I see no reason to rush things. Why would classes be any different? Don't think I'm going to let you off easily!"

"Wouldn't dream about it. Besides, where's the fun in easy?" Reaching the outskirts of the lake, Hannah stopped and looked up at the almost full moon, aware of Severus watching her. "Why have you really been resisting for so long? Somehow, I find it difficult to imagine you going by the rulebook." He didn't answer for a long time, and Hannah wondered how long it would be before he would totally open up his thoughts and emotions to her.

"I've been watching you for a long time. Sometimes it feels wrong to feel this way after knowing you as a child, though I admit I did not see who you really were until very recently. Once I saw the real you, I desperately wanted you to be happy, regardless of my feelings towards you. I assumed I would watch from the distance, that I would see you happy with someone else. I struggle to see what you could want with me when you could have whomever you desire, but…living in denial is pointless. I desperately want you too, and despite my reservations, I think our only real step forward is to see what happens. Hopefully, we won't end up throwing curses at each other…not too often anyway." Squeezing his hand, she took in his uncertain expression and smiled softly.

"Does this _feel_ wrong?" He shook his head. "I think we just need to be open and honest with each other, and everything will work out. But you're wrong about one thing. I think throwing curses at each other could be an awful lot of fun! Especially when we get to make up after!" He laughed a little, and his eyes appeared a little brighter at the thought for a moment until they dulled with worry once more.

"I know it's relatively soon, but how are you _really_ coping? I know being a werewolf is not the easiest of conditions to live with – especially now everyone suspects. Watching you transform was unbearable." It took a few silent moments before Hannah was ready to commit to an honest answer.

"I guess…I just bury everything and pretend it's not happening until I have to deal with it. Most of the things I've had to deal with have been buried one way or another. Honestly, I expend an awful lot of effort attempting not to worry and hide all of my problems from everyone. I'm sure it'll all catch up with me one of these days. But…I'm done with what most people think, only what my friends think and what _you_ think matters. I'm not sure how to ask it, and I don't want you to be angry, or think I'm accusing you of anything, because I'm not, but…does my being a werewolf…disturb you? Are you afraid or…I mean…does it make a difference to how you see me?" Severus shook his head and moved to be facing her, but Hannah couldn't bring herself to look at him until he had answered.

"No, it doesn't disturb me," he said firmly, brushing strands of her hair back, to study her face. "But I do worry about you. Your life is going to be even more difficult now."

"Even after I nearly killed you?"

"Hmph! You didn't nearly kill me, I can handle myself against one wolf. I was angry because I felt insanely guilty for having to attack you. I suspect you won't miscalculate again. If this is going to work, I expect you to talk to me about all of it. About everything." His fingers brushed the scar that had now formed on her cheek, a visible reminder of what had happened. He kissed it, perhaps as a sign of acceptance as much as affection. "Of all the things to worry about, I can promise you, the fact that you're a werewolf is not one of them. I meant what I said earlier, I'm not going to let you go." As if to prove the point, he pulled her into a one-armed embrace as they watched the moon shine over the lake and she happily leant her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Severus." After a few minutes of quietly enjoying each other's companionship, Hannah shivered slightly and yawned, finally feeling ready to get some sleep.

"Come on, we better get _some_ sleep tonight," Severus said. On their walk back to Gryffindor tower, they were rudely interrupted by a witless third year wandering the corridors at night. Hannah marvelled amusedly at how quickly Severus could angrily switch back into Snape mode.

"Miss Wood! It's two in the morning, what on earth are you doing in the corridors?! Fifty points from Gryff…" Hannah interrupted him by sharply elbowing him in the ribs. Scowling at the girl he sighed and amended his statement, "Ten points from Gryffindor! _If_ you run back to your tower _immediately_!" Looking terrified, the girl turned and briskly sped off towards the common room, but not before looking Hannah up and down, naturally wondering what _she_ was doing out late at night with Snape. Shaking his head and rubbing his ribs, Severus scowled at Hannah who was now completely failing to contain her amusement and was unashamedly laughing at him.

"You're making me soft! She deserved at least fifty points for that!"

"Oh, I don't doubt it, I was just worried you'd give her detention and then who would I pester tomorrow afternoon?"

"That, Miss Potter, is perhaps the most sensible thing you have ever said to me!"

Over the following few days, Hannah fell into a comfortable routine. She'd attend her classes as usual and then join Severus to make her potion – she'd successfully made it every day this week. Once that was out of the way, they'd retreat to the confines of Severus' quarters. He didn't always talk all that much, but Hannah had already known that about him, and she found she didn't mind. Most people prattled on about nonsense all day anyway, and like he said, Hannah could certainly talk enough for both of them. For now, they spent most of their evenings simply enjoying each other's company and getting on with their work as music played in the background. Hannah felt a twinge of sympathy for him when she saw the vast amount of marking he had to do every other night compared to the few essays she had to write. He seemed to get them done remarkably quickly, however, and they'd chat for a while before Hannah would head back to her room for the night. On more than one occasion, she wanted to ask Severus if she could stay with him but somehow always seemed to lose her nerve, expecting him to reject her anyway.

Unfortunately, another routine had continued throughout the week. Every morning, Hannah would receive far too many letters for them to be from people she knew. On the first day, she opened all of them, but quickly gave up even wanting to read them. She angrily incendioed the rest of them. It seemed people were _very_ opinionated as to the allegations of her being a werewolf. Of the letters she opened, it appeared to be a fairly even divide between people who supported her and people telling her she was a terrible "creature" that didn't belong in a school. On the morning of the full moon, she'd received a particularly nasty howler telling her that she was "a soulless abomination" and it had colourfully warned her to get out of the school that night. Of course, the entire hall had silently stared at her while it screeched, and whispers had broken out as soon as it shut up. She tried not to let it get to her, but in reality, it had brought her down for the whole day.

Contrary to their usual habit, Hannah made her own potion that day, and once she had drunk it, Severus had surprisingly taken her hand and led her towards the portrait of Cliodna rather than heading to the room of requirement.

"Um…do you think we have time for a diversion?"

"I think the room of requirement has fulfilled its purpose. I don't think you're a danger when you're under the influence, do you? You can transform in the study, I'm sure you will be much more comfortable in my quarters than you were in that forest. Remus was quite happy in his office. If I remember correctly, he'd sleep under his desk." Hannah smiled gratefully, and as soon as they were through the portrait door, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close before kissing him passionately, revelling in the taste of him, and how his lips moved against hers.

"Thanks," she whispered, before burying her face in his neck and kissing the silver scars left by Nagini.

"Indeed," he replied breathlessly while tracing patterns on her hip with his thumb, the air thick with the anticipation of her impending transformation.

After a few moments of relative bliss, Hannah resigned herself to the fact that they'd have to separate, and that she'd be spending the rest of the night in a form that was far less appealing to him. Sighing, she released him and looked at her watch.

"It's almost time, I guess I'll just…you know," heading towards his study, she grabbed her wand and twirled it in her fingers nervously.

"You don't have to use a silencing charm," he said softly. "And you don't have to hide away if you'd rather have company." She turned and raised her eyebrow at him, shaking her head.

"I know, but I'm going to anyway. I feel…self-conscious about it, even if you have seen _everything_ already." While she had been far too delirious at the time to care about Severus witnessing everything last month, she didn't yet feel comfortable with him seeing or hearing her transform. Her lack of clothing the previous time had been the least of her worries, yet an uncomfortable insecurity about what he might have thought about her scrawny body briefly flared up within her mind, and she blushed slightly.

"Alright. I'll be right here, waiting."

"I'll see you in a few minutes…sort of. Feel free to head to bed when it gets late, I know you have to teach early tomorrow."

SS

Emotions all over the place after she had just kissed him like _that,_ and yet feeling pensive about Hannah's transformation and whether they'd got the balance of valerian correct this time, Severus folded his arms and stood by the fire nervously. After about twenty minutes, Hannah finally exited the study in her wolf form. She looked sleepy but completely coherent. It seemed this batch would make her tired, but she could easily stay awake if she chose to. Perfect, he thought. Deciding that he might as well pass the time usefully, he changed his mind and broke his previous promise to himself.

"Come and lie down by the fire. I can read to you if you like?" He saw her eyes fill with happy surprise as she stretched out in front of the fire, staring at it as if entranced by it. She wrinkled her nose, sneezing comically, and he wondered how potent the burning smell was when you had a more sensitive nose.

"Last time, you wanted me to read Frankenstein…that's a little too miserable, even for my tastes. How about… Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? I'd consider that a fairly respectable muggle series. After all, who doesn't love a good murderer?" He saw her shake a little and realised it was the result of a sort of wolfish laugh. Despite half of his brain telling him not to do so and that he was being overly foolish, he sat next to her and began to read. It was probably a strange thing to do, but he gently stroked the hair on her head occasionally as he read. The wolf was well and truly tamed this time and within an hour or so she was falling asleep. Too early to head to bed, he poured himself a drink and watched her dozing for a while. It should have felt like an abnormal situation, but somehow the presence of her wolf form was beginning to feel like a normal, unremarkable, everyday occurrence, despite the events of the previous full moon. He'd never had any love for the creatures before, but something about this particular wolf gave it an air of nobility. When she was well and truly in a deep sleep, he stooped and ran his fingers through her fur gently, bidding her goodnight as he headed to bed.

He must have slept entirely through her transformation because when he awoke, he discovered that the very human Hannah had snuck under the covers and was curled up against his back, resting peacefully. Carefully turning, he groggily brushed her hair out of her face, and she began to stir.

"What time is it?" she groaned, refusing to open her eyes.

"Seven-thirty. Do you want to sleep some more?"

"Sort of, I've only been human about an hour. But I have _your_ class first thing…might as well go. I hope you don't mind me getting into bed with you?" He ran his fingers through her hair comfortingly but decided to mock her ridiculous question.

"Absolutely. Waking up with a beautiful woman pressed against him is every man's worst nightmare!"

"Hmm, I bet it is…" she said sleepily.

"Why would I mind?"

"Well…I dunno." She peered up at him with an amused glint in her eye and moved enticingly closer to him. "I thought you might be afraid I'd try to seduce you at an ungodly time of morning, but you don't have to worry, I'm far too tired." She said jokingly. Chuckling, he rolled on top of her, loving the feel of her body under his and earning himself an approving hum from her. He ran his hand up her thigh until he reached her waist, caressing her curves as he kissed her. He felt her hands lightly caress his waist under his pyjama top, and she hummed a happy sigh as he kissed her chest.

"And you think _I_ won't try to seduce _you_?" He asked her, raising his eyebrow as he returned his face to hers. "You're far too trusting."

"I'm not going to stop you. Maybe I want you to seduce me." The tiredly whispered words made him smile in amusement, and she stared at him with soft, trusting eyes, seemingly half expectantly.

"Well, you _are_ wearing the same clothes you came in last night. I'm sure your insufferably nosy little friends will assume you've been up to no good either way." She giggled lightly but closed her eyes, and he felt her body relax sleepily underneath him. He watched her relax for a long moment, appreciating the loving embrace and simply enjoying the feel of her wrapped in his arms, and pondering the events that had led them here. He had no idea why she would choose him, but now he had her, there was no way he was ever going to send her away. He didn't know how, and he didn't even care, but somehow she had completely changed who he was – or at least who he was when she was around. The fact that he didn't need to resist his feelings anymore was an exceptionally welcome relief. Watching her, he felt his heart ache with feelings he was still not yet accustomed to. He gently traced the lines under her eyes with his thumb wondering if she was really up to attending her early lessons.

"I think you should get some more rest. Perhaps you should sleep until lunch." Sighing, she glared at him sleepily.

"No. I slept all night anyway. I don't understand why I get so tired."

"Your body goes through an awful lot of strain, it just takes time for you to recover. But if you're sure, then I'm afraid it really is time to get up."

"Hmm…I'm too comfortable here, I'm positively basking in your warmth." He hummed his agreement, and after a few more moments of enjoying the feel of her underneath him, he reluctantly climbed out of bed to dress in his signature black robes. She was dozing again, and he wondered if she'd fallen back into a deep sleep.

"Hannah?" He asked softly, intending to leave her be if she didn't answer. Unexpectedly, she abruptly sat up and looked at him with intense frustration gracing her features.

"I'm up, I'm up! Wait…when did you get dressed? Can't believe I missed that…" she said shaking her head in mild agitation as she climbed out of bed and headed out of his room.

HP

Just managing to make it to breakfast in time, Hannah sat down next to Ron and Hermione, who looked surprised to see her. Sleepily greeting them, Hannah gave Edgar his bacon in an attempt to prevent him from stealing someone else's.

"You look exhausted," Hermione said before continuing in a whisper. "It was your…time of the month yesterday. I saw you on the map, you spent all night _with Professor Snape_. You came back really late on Saturday too… _and they're the same clothes you wore yesterday._ I take it you made up then?" Hermione said with a knowing look in her eye. Making a mental note to keep the map better hidden, Hannah decided she might as well confess – she'd tell them later when they couldn't be overheard.

"Yes and yes. As to your next likely question… not yet…I'll tell you both about it later," Hannah replied while looking around the room. She noticed more than a few eyes on her, and it made her feel completely paranoid. Did people even _know_ when the full moon really was? Yes, they did she realised, thanks to the howler she had received yesterday. When the post arrived, she angrily incendioed all of it, not wanting to risk opening any of it.

Despite her newfound happiness with Severus, when the paper arrived the headline caused her to have an intense, sickening flashback and she had to take a few deep breaths to steady herself after an intense flash of green invaded her eyes, and the feeling of falling washed over her. " _May 2nd to be declared Victory at Hogwarts day."_ When she recovered, she quickly, but shakily scanned the article. The Ministry had decided to dedicate a day to remember those that had perished during the war on the anniversary of Hannah's defeat of Voldemort, or _The Dark Lord_ as the paper had written it. While Hannah appreciated the sentiment and knew that many people hadn't really had the proper time to grieve over their loved ones, she felt ashamed to admit that she couldn't bear to be reminded of it. She just wanted to keep all of her past hidden away and left unacknowledged. The pain of everything that she had witnessed and experienced was just too much to dwell on, and her shadow swept over her like a cloud, fogging her mind until nothing else mattered.

Knowing that her friends wouldn't let her get away without explaining the situation, once lessons were over Hannah sat with Ron and Hermione within the privacy of her room and told them all about the past week. Trying her best not to make a big deal of it, she explained how his Patronus had transformed into a wolf and how they were now a sort-of couple. She still didn't really know what their relationship status was, but she did know exactly how she felt and that as far as she could tell, it was unlikely to change. She certainly didn't want it too, anyway. His new wolf Patronus convinced them that Severus was in no way manipulating her, and that he did harbour genuine affection for her. Albeit slightly begrudgingly, they accepted the fact that Hannah and Severus were now basically a couple. Hermione seemed to understand why Hannah and Severus could be so well matched, but Ron was definitely struggling, and she knew he was going to need some time before he could truly understand their attraction to each other.

After leaving them to their own devices, she grabbed her pyjamas and some spare clothes, hoping that she would convince Severus to let her stay the night. Something was telling her that she wouldn't be able to bear being alone tonight and she headed back to Severus' quarters for the evening. The place was becoming a safe haven that was quickly feeling somewhat like home.

Despite the newfound joy brought about by her and Severus' budding relationship, Hannah hadn't been able to shake off her black dog all day. It was a feeling that had been growing, and she didn't know how to get rid of it. While she felt completely safe and comfortable with Severus, she didn't want to burden him with her intense feelings of depression so early in their relationship. She expected that Severus would have understood the feeling far too well considering the overly depressing life he had led so far, but she didn't want to revive such feelings in him or cause him to worry about her health.

Cliodna let her in without question, and when she entered the room, music was quietly playing in the background. She hung up her cloak and headed towards the fire.

"Welcome home…" The painting hissed approvingly, as she stared unseeing into the fire.

Severus must have heard her enter, and after exiting his study, he seemed to recognise something was wrong. Not saying anything, he pulled her close to him, and they began a sort of slow dance to the music.

"I don't know how to dance," she whispered, merely letting him move her along to the music.

"Neither do I, but I'm not sure I'd call this dancing."

They swayed to the music for a few minutes before the tune finished, and a new piece of music began. The achingly long chords tugged immediately and unwillingly at her heart-strings and the transcendent, impossibly beautiful melancholy music stirred her soul in a way she had never experienced before.

"What…what _is_ this?" she asked.

"Vaughan Williams, Fantasia on a theme. Not really music for dancing, but….what's the matter?" Startled, he stopped abruptly. Tears were beginning to fall down her face inexplicably and uncontrollably, and she only felt worse at her inability to hide her pain.

"I don't…I don't know…but I can't make it stop." It was true. She had no idea and wondered if perhaps she was simply feeling over-emotional and tired. She was definitely tired. Tired of _everything_. Tired of being _Hannah_ bloody _Potter_. Whatever it was, now she had started, she couldn't stop, and she buried her head in his shirt, refusing to look at him.

"Hannah, please. Look at me." She shook her head, feeling ashamed and embarrassed of her lack of control in front of the man who always seemed to keep his emotions under lock and key.

"No."

"Whatever this is about, you _can_ tell me. _Please_." She concentrated on how he was tenderly holding her with his hand gently caressing her back, and she knew he'd understand. Eventually, she took a deep breath and looked up at him. Intense concern was all over his face, and she felt guilty. Her answer would not please him.

"Honestly, I just…I can't explain it, it's just a feeling. It's nonsensical." Severus held her cheek gently but didn't even attempt to brush away her tears. Staring into her eyes in a deeply familiar way, he looked hesitant but resigned, and she soon felt a regrettably familiar prickly invasion into her mind, and brief images of her flashbacks, her nightmares, and her memories of the war flashed through her mind. Understanding slowly began to form on his face. His intrusion was brief, but not exactly welcome, and anger now accompanied her inexplicable but profound sorrow.

"How _dare_ you!" she pushed at him and tried to get away, but he wasn't having any of it, and he gently but firmly held her in place. He was much stronger than her, and she'd never get away without using magic. She didn't have the energy or the conviction to try anyway.

"Hannah, don't…you have to face it. Your black dog…your shadow. You're not the first one to go through this, or to call it that. The war was terrible, I know, and nobody knows better than we do. _I understand_. I've lived it too. The only way you can overcome it is to accept it, and embrace your sorrow. You have to remember. Just for tonight, you have to acknowledge everything that's happened to you, and to those you loved."

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about! Let me go!"

"Yes, you do. Remember what you said to me a few days ago. You told me you buried things, that you just didn't think about it…you have to stop now. You're _safe_ here, I'm not going to judge you."

"This from a man who complained about weak people!"

"I was wrong. You're too strong, sometimes you have to indulge in weakness to bear your strength. Trust me, if you let everything out, you'll feel better in the light of day."

Hannah _did_ trust him, and she stopped struggling. He was now holding her comfortingly, and he allowed her to sink to the floor, following her. Finally allowing her emotions to control her, she cried hysterically for a long time, occasionally mumbling incoherently. At first, she was only crying for herself, but her mind slowly recounted memories of the past. She cried for _everything_. The werewolf bite, the realities of war, the people she had lost, ridiculous expectations, the weight of prophecy, her lost childhood and even for Severus. For everything he had been through and even for the fact that he was here, lovingly holding her. He didn't say much, other than the occasional "I know," and "I'm here," as a response to her likely completely incoherent ramblings. She was glad he didn't say _it's alright_ because right now, everything was definitely not alright. But, she knew that it _would_ be, eventually. She didn't even really register when he gently picked her up and put her to bed, and before she had noticed, he was holding her tightly under the covers.

When Hannah finally awoke, Severus was already awake and tracing random patterns comfortingly on her back. Memories of the following night flooded her mind, and she felt totally ashamed of her outburst. She'd cried herself to sleep like a twelve-year-old child.

"Severus, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for…I didn't want you to have to witness that."

"Don't be sorry. You have _nothing_ to feel ashamed about. Of all people, you have more right than anyone to feel such pain. How are you feeling now?" Hannah considered for a few moments. While the past could never truly be erased and the memories would still hurt, she felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Even though it might not be entirely true…free. I feel free. Like I can let go of the past now. It was strangely cathartic to just let everything out, I've been hiding it for years. Thank you. I don't think…I would have just left it forever if you hadn't…"

"You _are_ free. You're free to live a life you choose now. As we all are. Are you still angry I entered your mind?"

"Not really. I'd have done the same for you if I had the skill."

"Hmm. Come on, I've been waiting for you to wake up for at least an hour, I didn't have the heart to leave you to wake up alone." She got up and followed him into the living room, but after a few steps he turned and looked at her with his brow creased.

"Hannah? When you first mentioned my Patronus, you said you'd been having trouble casting one. Was that just to entrap me, or have you actually been struggling?" She blinked and gaped at him, not realising until now just how transparent she had been.

"No point denying the entrapment part…but I did actually try and cast a message back…all I could manage was a smoky shield."

"Try and cast one now," she went to grab her wand but remembered she had left it in her room. Noticing her predicament, Severus passed her his, and to her surprise, she felt its strength accepting her. Concentrating on how she felt the previous morning when Severus had rolled on top of her and had lovingly caressed and kissed her, she invoked the spell. Immediately successful, a sizeable ethereal creature burst from Severus' wand, but it was not a stag, and it was _flying_ around the room. Severus studied it, and then Hannah as she watched a seemingly oversized eagle fly around the room.

"Hmph, a strong form indeed," he said crossing his arms grumpily. Surprised at being successful and not seeing her famous stag, Hannah felt a little disappointed and somehow found herself worrying that he might doubt her feelings.

"I thought any difference would…somehow represent _you_ …" she mumbled discontentedly. He shook his head and appeared a little uncomfortable.

"I don't think any kind of…affection would alter you all that much. Love and kindness was already a very dominant, even defining part of your character. Mine only changed because…love and affection _are_ entirely new to me. I never saw its purpose before," he cleared his throat endearingly awkwardly before continuing. "Yes, well…eagles and all manner of birds are renowned for representing freedom are they not? Seeing as how you have been trapped by fate for the very vast majority of your life, it seems logical that freedom would be a new and profound feeling for you." Hannah shook her head at him and folded her arms, feeling amused.

"You think you're so smart! You seem very happy with this revelation."

" _I am_. Watching you struggle through yesterday was almost unbearable. This is evidence that you're beginning to overcome your past and accept your future. While I'm far too happy to share my bed with you, I'm sure jumping into my bed to _cry_ isn't exactly what either of us had in mind." Wrapping her arms around him, she happily kissed him until they were both breathless.

"Why am I always having to thank you?" she said nuzzling his neck.

"Hmm. Because you don't always realise just how _willingly_ I endure your company."


	10. Cave Of Mind

Chapter Ten

Cave of mind

Feeling victorious at finally defeating her black dog, Hannah separated herself from Severus' embrace, sleepily stretched out her achy arms and sat down on Severus' sofa.

"Huh, you _endure_ my company? How rude!" She said, pretending to admonish him. Severus tutted as he summoned coffee and toast for them from the kitchens.

"Indeed. I take it you have no objection to eating here rather than separating in the great hall?" Severus asked, already pouring them two mugs of the steaming liquid. Hannah sniffed hers suspiciously and wrinkled her nose.

"Course not, but…I'm not sure about this coffee stuff. Don't you drink tea?" He shook his head and sat next to her. She took a sip out of her mug, grimaced at the bitterness and added three lumps of sugar to the drink before tasting it again. "Well, sugar seems to make it acceptable. Do you have any plans today?"

"No. It would seem I am at your disposal for the entire weekend if that pleases you?" She rolled her eyes. As if she'd say no.

"No. It _displeases me_ ," she said, imitating him affectionately mockingly. At the same time, however, Hannah wondered what on earth they would do with their time. What did couples _do_ together anyway? She couldn't exactly see them larking around the way Ron and Hermione might. Shamelessly admiring his form, she blushed slightly as _one_ activity came to mind. She knew that sex wasn't the only thing they had to offer each other, and it would be pretty depressing if it was, but never-the-less she found herself somewhat impatient to show her love for him physically. Ever observant, Severus noticed her blush and his eyebrow raised comically.

"Dare I ask why your face is currently heating up the room?" She shrugged innocently but decided to tease him a little.

"My mind likes to…wander, that's all. I blame it on the rampaging hormones. I was wishing I had been in a better state yesterday morning so you could have had your wicked way with me after you climbed on top of me like that!" Severus spluttered on his coffee a little and held her gaze for a moment.

"All in good time, but please don't remind me you're a teenager…I dread to think what Minerva is going to say… _you're fired_ , probably." Hannah looked at him in surprise and couldn't help but feel slightly panicky.

"You mean you're going to tell her? Tell her what exactly? It's not like we've…well…you know…" she paled, not daring to imagine McGonagall's response to their relationship. Severus rubbed his forehead in an exasperated kind of way, and he was clearly fearing her response too.

"She's already suspicious. But no, I'm not exactly going to walk up to her and ask her to guess who I'm sharing my bed with if that's what you mean. But if she asks, there is little point in lying. If she questions us, it's probably best to be forthcoming." Considering for a few moments, Hannah came to a slow realisation. Minerva always presented herself as a stern, disciplined woman, but in reality she had a soft centre and deeply cared for her students. If she could see they were happy, Hannah thought she'd probably let it slide, given the circumstances.

"I actually don't think she'll mind once we explain everything. Eventually. After she's hexed us into oblivion." Severus looked completely undecided but gave her a small smile.

"She'll forgive me eventually, I'm sure."

"Hey, I'm the traitor, not you. Dating a Slytherin…" she tutted and shook her head comically. "She's never going to forgive me for shacking up with the man who cost her so many House Cups…I'm going to have to transfer to Hufflepuff, the _shame_ of it!" Severus did laugh at that, and she was glad that she'd been able to ease some of the tension in the air.

"Don't you dare…I thought having a Gryffindor about the house was torturous enough but a Hufflepuff with a Slytherin? Never! You can join the rest of my house in the dungeons, Miss Potter!"

"Did you know that very nearly happened? I begged the hat not to put me in Slytherin. All I knew was that I met Draco in Madam Malkins and he was so snobby I couldn't bear to be anywhere he was going to be! Didn't help when he was so mean to everyone on the train either. I wonder how different things would have been if you were my head of house?"

"Well, I wouldn't have rewarded you for fighting a Troll when you were eleven that's for sure…you'd have made my life even more of a hell. No. I take it back, Minerva can keep you!" He said wryly causing her to smile brightly. He studied her for a few moments and took her hand.

"You seem much better now. Whenever you need to talk, I'll be here, waiting."

"I know. Thank you. The same applies to you by the way!" His thumb brushed over the ironic marks on her hand, and he held her hand closer to inspect the faded writing and frowned when he saw exactly what the marks were.

"I must not tell lies…who forced you to use a blood quill?" She shrugged nonchalantly, thinking that the other teacher's must have known.

"That bitch Umbridge, obviously. Who do you think? I thought…surely Dumbledore knew?" Severus didn't seem to agree with her assessment.

"You never said anything did you?"

"Well, no. I mean there were more important things going on wasn't there? Oh, come on, I'm sure she did it to lots of people in her office." He shook his head.

"I doubt it, and I highly doubt Albus knew anything about it. She replaced all of the paintings in her office with _cats_ Hannah. _Why_ do you think there are portraits in nearly every room? It's the Headmaster's job to make sure students are safe and well cared for, and the paintings help spy on staff as well as students in this outrageously large castle. Only _you_ could tell him what she was doing." He sighed as he caressed her hand tenderly. "Blood quills are illegal, as is corporal punishment against school children. If Albus knew…he might have been able to use the fact that she was using an illegal torture device on a child to his advantage."

"Oh…well now I feel stupid. Still, at the time it didn't seem that big of a deal, and I hated the woman so much that I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I'd complained about it. I just wanted to take it like a man, if you know what I mean." He simply sighed, but Hannah's mind was elsewhere.

"If the paintings spy on teachers too…does that mean McGonagall knows I'm here?"

"Possibly, Cliodna seems to trust me enough after all these years, but having said that, dead Albus had already heard rumours of you staying here the night you informed me of my wolf. It doesn't really matter, I'm not going to let you go."

" _Dead Albus_ …show some respect! I'll tell him you said that!" She said with a shake of her head and an amused sigh.

"Please do. Well then, what did you want to do with the day?"

"I don't really care, just so long as we're together. But…no potion making! We already have to do enough of that!"

"Alright then, we could get out of the castle if you like?"

Hannah bit her lip nervously as an idea came to mind. He probably wouldn't like it, and in many ways, she probably wouldn't either, but he had promised.

"Um…Do you remember a few months ago I asked you if you'd teach me legillimency?"

"Perhaps you should wait a while. To say you were distressed last night is an understatement. Wandering around my memories probably wouldn't be advisable anytime soon…" While she knew there was truth to his words, taking in his expression, she realised he was afraid. Afraid perhaps of what she might see and fearful that Hannah would think differently of him. Her brow creased in confusion at her thoughts, knowing that Severus was talented at occlumency. He'd even fooled Voldemort. Couldn't he easily just kick her out of his mind if she saw anything he didn't want her to see? And couldn't he masterfully manipulate anything she did see? Whatever the case, she felt completely confident that she could handle anything she saw. She knew he was a different person in his youth and she'd accepted it.

"I'm confident that I let all my emotions out yesterday. Can we give it a try? I promise, nothing I see will change my feelings about you."

He seemed to take a few moments to consider his life choices, but he stood up and passed her his wand, Hannah still not having retrieved hers from her room in the tower.

"Have you done any reading?" She nodded thinking about the books Hermione had recommended.

"Hermione gave me Uncovering Closely Guarded Secrets. I think it was by Saoghal Dìomhair."

"Of course, she'd pick that one." He said shaking his head.

"I gave up with it though, I couldn't make sense of it," she said feeling a little embarrassed.

"Well, your main aim is to be able to converse, correct? This could be done in two ways. You could draw me into your mind, and bring my attention to the words you wish for me to hear. Or, equally, you could enter my mind, allowing me to hear your words. The latter is usually easier and somewhat safer because the recipient is less likely to unintentionally invade your own mind, with most people not having any command or experience in this art. Either way, for this purpose you do not want to delve too deeply into the mind. It's best not to linger, and you need to remain amongst surface thoughts, avoiding getting lost in memories. Unfortunately, minds are usually loud and full of temptation. Remaining on the periphery is difficult, and at first, finding your way out of someone's thoughts is not easy, but bear in mind that memories are always connected to each other. Nothing exists in isolation, and if you view one memory, others connected to it are usually somehow related." Hannah took a few seconds to take everything in, thinking he could switch to teacher mode remarkably quickly. She understood what he said. Sort of.

"I should be pretty safe either way. I'm probably only ever going to talk to you in this way right?"

"Perhaps, but this could be a way to convince people you're safe if they come across you during the full moon. I'm afraid it takes quite a bit of practice, and you have to be very patient. Decide on what you want to say and repeat it like a mantra. Eventually, you won't need a wand…but for now…you know the spell."

Standing close to her, he held her free hand in his and waited, hesitantly maintaining eye contact. Summoning her courage, she whispered the incantation. The mind being infinitely complex, she failed immediately and was already viewing snippets of memory. She was embracing a hysterical, crying version of herself and before she could grab onto it, the scene changed.

"I regret it."Her heart sped up in fear as Nagini coiled up to strike... _Straight in where angels fear to tread. Focus on retreating. Focus on your peripheral vision, see the room that you're really standing in._ But she couldn't go anywhere but forward, and she was stoically watching Charity Burbage cruelly suspended over a long table.

"Severus, please. We're friends…" green light and Charity was dead. She then found herself watching Bellatrix Lestrange torture a young child and hearing her cackle, mad with glee, while feeling Severus' remembered anger hidden behind a stoic mask. She was then in Dumbledore's office.

"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those whom I could not save."

Too late she realised she was going backwards in time within his memories and that he wanted her to figure it out herself, for her to leave unaided. She was angrily sneering down at a younger version of herself feeling intense hatred and bitterness as her counterpart put her chin up defiantly.

"There's no need to call me _sir_!" A blur of images and sounds and emotions and suddenly she was nervously staring at Voldemort, pleading, knowing it was futile and already full of regret.

"You wish for me to let her live, simply because you desire her?"

"I confess myself weak, my Lord."

"It does not disturb you that I will kill her child?"

"No."

She was beyond desperate to leave now, and Severus must have felt her distress because he aided her exit, pushing her out of his mind. The weight of the simple, one-word answer within his memory stung sharply at her heart, even though she'd already known such conversations must have occurred. She closed her eyes tightly and reminded herself that things were different now, that Severus did care for her, and that nearly twenty years had passed since that day. He didn't say anything, he just stood there looking down at her, shame in his eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't know how to leave, I wasn't trying to pry. I meant what I said earlier. My feelings for you won't change, no matter what I see."

"It's alright, I know you weren't trying to pry. You may change your mind, it is inevitable that you will see many undesirable memories before you master this."

"Why don't you just push me out?" A few heavy moments of silence passed between them before he gave her an answer.

"I don't want to hide anything from you, and I'm not going to manipulate anything you might see. Occlumency would only hinder our purpose anyway, if I force you out, how will you learn? Try again, but only when you're ready."

Taking a deep breath to prepare herself, she whispered the spell, trying to focus on keeping out of his memories and placing three simple words in his mind. Almost immediately failing, she was already viewing memories. She was wrapping a cloak around herself in the room of requirement, and then she was cautiously watching herself strip from far away, as her counterpart nervously surveyed the area before jumping into an icy lake. Severus' remembered relief washed over her as Ron pulled her out of the water, sword in hand. It was as if the spell was designed for viewing memories, and she felt that she was almost fighting the purpose of the spell. Losing concentration, words and memories were passing by in a blur, and she caught only snippets of images and conversation. Trying to do as he'd suggested, she focused on the real room around her and felt his hand on her arm. Willing herself to return to her own reality, and doing her best to ignore his thoughts, she managed to abruptly return her consciousness to the room. She stumbled a little, and he steadied her.

"Well done. I would not have thought you'd be able to exit without help on a second attempt."

"You knew I'd get lost…that spell, it's intention is to go deep into the mind, isn't it? It felt like I was fighting it trying to stay outside of your memories."

"That's very astute. Legilimens is a spell to invoke memories, but to become more practised and more subtle, one needs to learn the basic art of moving around the mind. I think that is enough for today. We can practice for a few minutes every other day if you like." Hannah nodded, knowing it was pointless to argue. Feeling utterly stunned at the complexity of this kind of magic, she was full of wonder as to how Severus had easily achieved total control over her mind during their disastrous lessons a few years ago.

"Um…when I can see your memories, can you hear my thoughts at all?"

"No. Nothing you intend. Not yet, at least. I know you're there, and I get snippets of your emotions but nothing concrete. Don't worry, everything will become easier and less distracting in time. Why? What did you decide to say?" Hannah smiled and shrugged.

"I'll save it for next time. Severus…so many of the memories I saw…you said memories were connected. Did I see memories relating to me because I'm here with you…I mean…" Somehow she couldn't find the words to express exactly what she meant. Yet he understood.

"You're with me now, in this room, so yes. It makes perfect sense for more memories of you to be so easily prompted, especially considering recent events."

"Thanks, Severus. For agreeing to this. I know it's not an easy thing to have someone poke around your head."

He gave her a single nod, and despite an aura of sorrow emanating from him, he held her waist and kissed her chastely on the lips.

"Whatever's in the past, things are different now," he whispered, his face still almost touching hers.

"Definitely…" she replied, affectionately returning his kiss somewhat _less chastely_ than he had kissed her before they were interrupted by the hissing of the painting above the fireplace.

"Cliodna sssaysss there are two people at the door,"

"Tell them to wait!" she hissed back angrily, before returning her attention to his feathery kisses that had now migrated to her neck and collarbone after their interruption. Before long the painting was once again hissing at her.

"They sssaid no, they need to ssspeak with you now." Severus pulled back a little, bemusedly staring at her face.

"Stupid painting say's there's someone at the door."

"When the dark lord did that it was disturbing …somehow when you do it…" Whatever he was going to say was lost because at that moment the portrait door opened and Ron and Hermione were comically cautiously entering the room, with Edgar sat on Ron's shoulder. Releasing her, Severus grimaced slightly and muttered something about Cliodna allowing people to barge in and needing to reapply wards while walking over to the faux window that was enchanted to emulate the school's courtyard. Edgar cawed irritably, and flew over to Severus who simply held his arm out for the bird to land on and silently stroked his feathers.

"Wish you'd control that bloody bird of yours! When you didn't turn up for breakfast, he caused havoc nicking everyone else's food – had to bring him back myself!" Ron complained before looking over at Severus unsurely.

"Good morning yourself!" Hannah laughed. She looked over at Hermione, who was frowning and holding what appeared to be a letter.

"So, what's so urgent that you're daring to invade Severus' quarters?"

"A letter this morning…from Reeta Skeeter. She wrote to me after being unable to contact you. You've been incendioing all of your letters again…"

"What the bloody hell does she want?" Hannah grabbed the letter and scanned its contents.

"She wants to interview me about being a werewolf? No! That's not happening…"

"Hannah…everyone's talking about it, maybe you _should_ consider some kind of public statement." They stood silently and awkwardly for a few minutes, with Hannah feeling completely indecisive. At their inaction Severus sighed and walked over to them, taking the letter to read.

"What do you think, Severus?" Hannah asked.

"Wait, what? Just because you're…I hope he's not going to be…"

"Don't you worry Weasley, I can assure you I have no intention of turning the golden trio into a golden quartet. I simply wish for you to get out of my living room with as little delay as possible so that we can get on with the rest of our day!" Hannah smirked at their exchange before glancing at Hermione who was eyeing her suspiciously as Severus spoke. "It's up to you. Some kind of statement will probably ignite your adoring public's imagination for a while before dying down again, but at least it will be from the horse's mouth and on your own terms. I daresay she'll lie through her teeth either way if she can." Hannah sighed heavily and shook her head.

"I dunno...maybe I should just write something myself and submit it to The Daily Prophet. Do you think they would publish it?" Hannah asked. Severus raised his eyebrows, looking at her as if to say obviously. "I could just put it in The Quibbler. Either way, I need to think about it for a while." Ron and Hermione obviously felt uncomfortable in Severus' quarters because almost as soon as they had delivered their news, they were heading back out of the room. Ron looked over towards Hannah and looked Severus up and down doubtfully.

"Aren't you coming with us, Hannah?" he asked. Hannah shuffled her feet awkwardly. She felt slightly guilty about spending so little time them recently, but in truth, she just wanted to spend her time with Severus, at least for now while their relationship was new. Ron and Hermione still had each other anyway, so she wasn't leaving anyone to fend for themselves.

"Um…no. I'm going to stay here if that's okay?" Hermione nodded encouragingly, but Ron looked slightly displeased, and as they left through the portrait she sniggered as she heard him complain about her dumping them for Snape. Hannah got the distinct impression that their visit was more about them checking up on her than it was about Reeta Skeeter.

As Valentines day approached, Hannah nearly went insane trying to figure out what she could get Severus to show him her love. Eventually though, she came to conclusion that trivial, meaningless gifts were never going to be their style – especially not Severus'. In the end, after discussing it with him, they decided to simply enjoy a romantic meal in the comfort of his chambers, just spending the evening in each others company, but not putting pressure on each other to conform to societal norms of ridicuous present exchanges as a so called demonstration of love.

A whole month seemed to pass by in a happy blur, and before she knew it, the end of February was approaching. The other students treated her much the same as they had before the damning newspaper report for the most part, though whispers and overly curious stares continued. She had spent most of her free time with Severus, and she had once again spent the full moon in his quarters.

To her disappointment, he still usually sent her back to the tower at night, but he'd conceded for a few days after the full moon and allowed her to sleep in his room. Despite this, other than fervent kisses and gentle caresses, he had made no move to take their relationship further, always seeming to hold back or withdraw whenever things began to get too heated, not allowing her passionate kisses and caresses to become anything more than just that.

She made good progress with her legillimency and had gradually become able to resist entering his memories, at least for the most part. While she had witnessed some disturbing scenes of his past, so far, she had seen nothing that was beyond anything she had expected. Though she had to admit, getting glimpses of Death Eaters killing and torturing with glee was hardly a happy way to spend their time. The first time she had managed to converse with him mentally, she had told him she loved him, to which he had tutted and called her a sentimental fool. Nevertheless, he had pulled her to him and thoroughly kissed her as a reward.

One Saturday evening, late in February after conceding and spending the day with Ron and Hermione in Hogsmeade, Hannah returned to Severus' quarters. Hanging up her cloak as she entered the living room, she saw him put his book down and look her up and down appreciatively. Smirking, she sat down next to him.

"Do you _always_ have to wear muggle clothes? That skirt…how are you not cold?" He thumbed the hem of her skirt as if to ask where the rest of it was, and she bit her lip in amusement as she saw his eyes wander. She shrugged, making a mental note to wear such clothes more often if he was going to look at her like _that_.

"Can we practise a little legillimency tonight? It's been at least a week." Standing and taking her hands in his, he nodded.

"I'm not sure you need much more practice really. You're already becoming quite adept. Do you want to try wandlessly?" She nodded and smiled gratefully, before looking him in the eyes and whispering the incantation. Now resisting the familiar call of his memories reasonably easily, she managed to avoid getting lost and began to speak with him in his mind.

 _"_ _I wanted to spend the whole weekend with you. Not with Ron and Hermione."_

 _"_ _I confess, I wanted that too. But they're your friends, and you don't want to become distant, not after everything you've been through. I find myself regrettably curious. What do they think of our relationship?"_

 _"_ _They worried that you were manipulating me at first, but don't worry, they're getting used to it. Hermione seems to understand at least."_

 _"_ _I find it incomprehensible that such an intelligent girl could attach herself to that moron Weasley."_

 _"_ _Hey! He's not that bad! Get to know him better, and you'll discover he has a heart of gold...deep down, not unlike somebody else I know!"_

 _"_ _Do not compare me to Weasley."_

 _"_ _You seemed very appreciative of my attire today."_

 _"_ _And you seem to appreciate torturing me with it. You have no idea what you do to me sometimes."_

 _"_ _I think I'm starting to get an idea. You do the same to me you know!"_

Feeling tired, and losing concentration, she left his mind.

"You're getting much better. I'm pleasantly surprised, occlumency was never a strength of yours. Perhaps you can go back to it someday. Do you want to try again wordlessly?" Nodding and taking a deep breath, she once again entered his mind. Somehow, she managed to get lost in his memories for the first time in a while, and feeling tempted, she allowed a memory to flood her. She immediately wished she hadn't, and yet she found herself unable to leave. A wave of pure lust and a strange sense of pleasure washed over her as she found herself on top of the naked body of a woman that was not her. A very beautiful woman who was apparently very appreciative of Severus' fervent attentions. She abruptly found herself back in Severus's living room, and she stepped back in shock. He had kicked her out of his mind more quickly than she had really been able to process everything. Minds were _loud and full of temptation_ she remembered him saying. She stepped further back from him, unreasonably shocked and angry, and he folded his arms as he looked at her warily.

"Obviously, _that_ is a memory you should not see."

"Who was she?" He shrugged and sighed.

"I cannot be sure, it was a long time ago." He spoke gently, obviously trying to comfort her but the comment only angered her, and she thought he must be lying.

"What? You…you have sex with people, and you don't even remember who they are!?" She knew she was being unreasonable. He was much older than her, and there had probably been plenty of other women before he'd ever even met her. It didn't help that _that_ woman looked as different from her as it was possible to be, and Hannah felt a rush of insecurity at the womans blond hair, blue eyes and curvatious figure.

"I am not so sentimental that I would have denied my body for lack of affection. It meant nothing at the time, and it means even less now. I understand that it was unpleasant to see…" His words only angered her further. What was he saying? That he would sleep with anyone who was willing? Why then, had he not attempted to seduce _her_ yet?

"Yet, you hardly touch _me_! What you're saying is that you'll have sex with people without even bothering to get their names, but you won't have sex with me?"

Overwhelmed with jealousy for this unknown woman, Hannah marched over to him, somehow feeling the need to prove herself better than the woman Severus seemed to have enjoyed so intensely, whoever she was. Reeling in a wave of emotions – anger, jealousy and _lust_ somehow being the most prominent, she pushed him against the wall and kissed him furiously. He responded with equal fervour and spun them around so that he was firmly pressing her against the wall.

She quickly began unbuttoning his cotton shirt as he busied himself with kissing everything within reach, and she finally ran her hands appreciatively all over anything she could get to. Placing his hands on her thighs, he lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms tightly around his neck. Her short skirt had easily parted, and she moaned in frustration as she felt _him_ pressing against her, their clothes hardly providing any distance between them as he held her against the wall. He continued to kiss her neck and collarbone, breathing heavily. Breathless and her heart beating wildly out of control, she freed one of her hands, trailed it down his torso and shakily tried to reach the buttons on his trousers.

Perhaps coming to his senses, he stopped kissing her and hazily looked into her eyes.

"Hannah…stop…please," his breathless, pleading words were spoken gruffly, and with an air of desperation. Hurt at the thought that he might not want her, she felt her eyes widen, and she suddenly felt vulnerable as her heart stung with the rejection.

" _Why?"_ she whispered.

"Because…if we continue…this will be fast, animalistic, and uncomfortable. You deserve better. You will regret it. I will regret it. Is this really how you want it to be? Full of anger and jealousy, against the wall, and only as a result of the memories of someone I barely remember?" At the moment, _kind of, yes_ , she thought, but she knew he was right, and at her silence he let her go, and she was standing once more. She placed her hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating just as rapidly as hers and he held her waist as they stood in silence trying to calm down.

She was about to tell him that he must have remembered that particular night very clearly for the scene to be that vivid and instigate such animalistic tendencies, but he interrupted her thoughts.

"It is only because I love you that I hesitate," he said once their breathing had evened out somewhat. She quickly looked up into his eyes, feeling elated at his confession, and realising that his hesitation was only due to respect and love for her. Her heart began to beat faster again as she realised it had been the first time he had explicitly told her he loved her.

"What was that?" He lifted a single eyebrow at her.

"I had a beautiful, willing young woman up against the wall and yet I was feeling guilty. Do you really think I wouldn't…if I didn't…we would not be _talking_ right now…" He uncharacteristically stammered the last part, and she smirked at him.

"No. I mean - say that first bit again…"

"I love you. I thought it was _obvious,_ " he said amusedly before kissing her chastely. "You should probably return to your tower tonight…please don't argue."

"Such chivalry…" she laughed.

"Yes, well. It's only going to last for so long…" Tenderly running her fingers through the thick hair on his chest, she bit her lip before shamelessly trying to tempt him, trailing her finger down his abdomen enticingly, despite a new flutter of nerves appearing now that his remembered lust had faded from her mind.

"You know…we could always just take it to the bedroom? Then we can go as slow as you like." He groaned and narrowed his eyes at her minutely.

"No. I told you not to argue. Don't worry, I can assure you I won't be able to resist you forever. I simply don't want…other memories fresh in either of our minds, as I'm sure you can agree." Hannah sighed, wondering why on earth he had to be so sensible, and yet questions began to form in her mind about his previous experiences. "You're adorably impatient," he chuckled while releasing her and proceeding to rebutton his shirt. Not able to look him in the eye, and shuffling her feet awkwardly, she decided that that now was a good a time as any to get awkward questions out of the way.

"Severus..? Were there…many others? Did you love any of them?" She could feel his gaze on her, but she was still somehow unable to look up.

"There were…some, though I would not say _many_. Did I not already tell you that love was new to me? So no, there was no affection involved, it was always just…sex, nothing more. You must have realised? I've led an…eventful life. I'm no saint, Hannah."

"I know. I mean, I knew… I guess I'm just unreasonably jealous. Seeing you with another woman like that…especially when she was…well…even I might not have refused!" He shook his head chuckling lightly and entwined one of her hands with his.

"You have my love and respect, and yet you're jealous of a woman I only wanted as a means for sexual pleasure? Don't you know you mean much more to me than that? Your inner beauty and strength far surpass anything anyone else could ever offer me. Although, I'm ashamed to admit that night in the woods I had to rein myself in. I'd say you surpass such base desires, but at feeling every inch of you against me I nearly took you there and then. Not to mention how I felt after looking at you!" She finally returned her gaze to his and smiled.

"I wouldn't have rejected you, I'd have welcomed it, I was trying to tell you I wanted you when I told you to look at me," she whispered, knowing it was true.

"I know, but at the time I thought you were delirious. Still, it was neither the time nor the place."

"You know…you're almost a Gryffindor! Such noble tendencies…"

"Don't swear, Miss Potter. It doesn't suit you," he complained before he leaned in and kissed her passionately. They ended up pressing against each other again, and she groaned as he withdrew from her.

"You really should return to Gryffindor tower now," he sighed, his voice full of reluctance.

" _Alright_. I can see that you're _finally_ using your authority to make me return to my tower! I'll see you tomorrow… _Professor_ ," she added wickedly. He groaned exasperatedly at her as she left his quarters and headed back to her lonely bedroom in Gryffindor tower.


	11. Primavera

Chapter Eleven

Primavera

Several hours after leaving Severus' quarters, Hannah found herself entirely unable to sleep. Her mind simply wouldn't shut down, and she found herself contemplating the _almost_ night of passion she had been craving for the past several months. Severus had been right, it wouldn't have exactly been the romantic encounter she'd been envisioning, yet she was unconvinced she'd be regretting anything right now had he not sent her away. Unable to control her thoughts, she couldn't help but wonder if Severus had solved his own… _problem_ by himself, before sighing and reminding herself that he was a grown man. _Of course, he had_. Though she had to admit, she was immensely proud that she'd had that effect on him.

Despite such trains of thought, an unwilling nervousness was beginning to develop, and she could feel butterflies in her stomach just thinking about spending the night with him. This was definitely an area where Severus' greater knowledge and experience was uncomfortably apparent, and Hannah hoped that their difference in life experience wouldn't be an issue for him. After all, he had admitted to feeling guilty, but then he had also stated he couldn't resist her forever. She inwardly squirmed at the knowledge that she would, at some point, have to tell him that her current experience in such matters was, well, zero. He was an intelligent man; he'd likely guessed, she realised. Perhaps that was why he had said no.

After an almost completely sleepless night dwelling on what had nearly happened, Hannah resigned herself to the fact that consulting with one _insufferable know-it-all,_ might, in fact, be a good idea. Though she had to admit, speaking with Hermione about it was going to be incredibly awkward indeed. Checking the time, Hannah decided that it was just about a reasonable hour and quickly dressed before leaving the comfort of her room and knocking on Hermione's door, praying that Ron was in his own room, and not in Hermione's. When Hermione opened the door in her dressing gown and pyjamas, she felt slightly guilty, realising she had just woken her up.

"Sorry, Hermione…um, can I come in? I need to talk to you about something, and I don't really want Ron to overhear. He's not here is he?"

"What's the matter?" Looking sleepy and confused, Hermione allowed Hannah into her room and sat down on the bed, waiting expectantly. Hannah had no idea how to begin and twisted her hair nervously in her fingers, avoiding eye contact.

"So…we're close friends, right? I mean, we can talk about anything?"

"Of course! After everything we've been through together? What's got you so worried that you're waking me up on a Sunday morning? Has something happened?"

"No. It's nothing like that." Hannah paused, wondering how she was going to phrase things without sounding like an idiotic child and knew she'd fail before even opening her mouth. "You and Ron," she said vaguely. Hermione looked confused.

"Me…and Ron? I'm going to need more than that." Hannah took a deep breath and decided to just come out with it.

"Well, you're very loved up, so I assume…um…what I mean to ask is…what was it like, you know…the first time?" Hermione was still looking confused, and perhaps for the first time in her life, she apparently had no idea what Hannah was talking about.

"What was _what_ like?" Hermione slowly questioned with her brow furrowing. Hannah rolled her eyes at her, not understanding how anyone so smart could be this slow on the uptake.

"Oh jeez, Hermione! What do _you_ think I'm asking you about? What it's like licking lamp posts in winter?" After a few moments, comprehension dawned on Hermione's face, but despite Hannah's embarrassment, Hermione seemed relatively unfazed.

" _Oh…_ wait, I thought… you've been spending so much time with him… we assumed…" Hannah awkwardly shook her head and felt a sudden urge to take great interest in the condition of her nails, cringing at Hermione's use of _we_.

"No. I saw…something in his memories last night, and…"

"Wait, you saw something in his _memories_?" Hermione interrupted, eyes wide with surprise.

"Oh… I guess I haven't mentioned he's teaching me legillimency…"

"And he lets you just wander around in his memories?" Hannah was surprised to see Hermione had a look of awe on her face. Clearly, she would never have guessed that Severus would ever allow such a thing.

"I guess so. That's not what we're aiming for though. I want to be able to talk to him when I'm a wolf...well anyway, that's not really the point. Last night one thing led to another…but he decided to go all _noble_ on me and sent me back here." She grumpily folded her arms before continuing, "and now it's nearly happened, it's _all_ I can think about, yet now I'm feeling nervous about it because he's older and…" She was rudely interrupted by Hermione childishly laughing at her and Hannah scowled at her friend.

"It's not funny! And you haven't answered my question!" Hermione sighed reluctantly, and despite Hannah's intense embarrassment, Hermione seemed to be far more amused than embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, it is kind of funny. I don't know what to tell you really. I guess it was more…emotional the first time. I guess for me the physical bit came later, you just have to give them instructions…you know, tell them what…"

"All right Hermione, I get it!" She groaned awkwardly before Hermione could finish her sentence. Hannah blushed a deep scarlet at the implication. Hermione didn't seem remotely fazed, and Hannah wondered if she approached _everything_ in an academic way. "I can't believe we're talking about this…you know that…I mean…look, I shared a dormitory, and I had to live at the Dursley's, and then there was the war, and I'd been feeling so depressed and down _all the time_ …oh, I don't know, I…didn't have time to think about it, and then I started to desire _him_ , and suddenly sex is on my brain all the time!" Hermione watched her, quickly deciphering exactly what she meant. She didn't know why she felt so embarrassed, and she suspected that if she'd gone and woken up Severus to talk about everything, she wouldn't feel half as embarrassed. She decided that was probably a good thing.

"So, what you're saying is that you don't know what you like because you've never been able to…explore? Well, I think you've just answered your own question…just…figure yourself out. Honestly, I think you're just overthinking it. Besides, Professor Snape is older and wiser than Ron. I'm sure… _he_ knows what he's doing." Attempting to ignore Hermione's comment about Ron, Hannah grimaced as she remembered Severus' memories.

"I really think you should call him Severus in this context…but, I don't doubt it. I'm just afraid I'll disappoint him. Hermione, in the memory I saw…he was with…well, I think you can guess." Understanding flashed across Hermione's face, and she smiled and shook her head.

"I see. This is what this is really about, isn't it? You saw a memory of him being with someone…experienced and now you're worried about what he may or may not expect from _you_ , but you shouldn't. Trust me, everything just comes naturally and if he loves you like you claim he does…you know that's why he sent you away, don't you? I think he can tell you're just not ready yet, and from this discussion, I don't think he's wrong. I mean, you're nervous enough not to have had any sleep and come knocking on my door before the sun has even risen."

"Hey! Don't stick up for him! Some friend you are! I'm more riled up about it than _nervous_." Hannah said grumpily as she crossed her arms in contemplation. "You're right though. Once we calmed down a bit, I did feel nervous, but that was _only_ because I was overthinking it."

"Why don't you talk to him about it? If you're not even comfortable talking about it, then you're not ready."

"Oh, I'd be comfortable talking about it, I just don't want to appear childish and naïve."

"It doesn't seem real to me that you're a couple. I'm not surprised you find him a little intimidating. Doesn't his…um…I mean, no offence, but he's _much_ stronger than you, and I don't just mean physically. He practically gave you a thrashing a few years ago when you attacked him after he…you know."

"Jee thanks, Hermione. What are you saying? We're poorly suited because he'd easily kick my arse in a duel?"

"No, I just mean _I_ find him intimidating, that's all. Perhaps that's why I like Ron, I do like to be the bossy one, and I always beat him at spell work." Hannah smiled happily as she remembered Severus so easily blocking every single spell she threw at him with a minute flick of his wand, and not attacking her – even then, when he was under such intense stress.

"Nah, remembering that duel…his skill…he was kind of hot wasn't he?" She said, dreamily. Hermione's eyes boggled, and she certainly didn't seem to agree with her assessment.

" _No_. Absolutely not. He was terrifying, even in hindight."

"I do wonder what he see's in _me_ …being so…you know, inexperienced, and I don't even mean in the bedroom. I've got a lot of catching up to do before I'll be his equal –magically at least." Hermione smiled kindly and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"I think he's see's a smart, funny, beautiful woman who's far too determined not to get what she wants. I think he shares and understands your pain too. You always talk about how he's been looking out for you for so long, but you forget that you saved him too. You did defeat Voldemort, setting him free, _and_ you pretty much saved him in the shrieking shack, despite his overly stubborn self!"

"Well, anyway, I'm not worried about spending the night with him because he's intimidating…at least _I'm_ not intimidated by him, not anymore. He's a completely different person when we're alone. Honestly, you'd be surprised. Despite everything, he's remarkably loving and gentle when he wants to be, at least he is with me." Her words had slowed by the time she reached the end, and Hannah decided that the whole conversation was silly really and that she was worrying over nothing. Their situation was complicated, but the love they shared needn't be.

She imagined talking to Severus about her comparative inexperience and shook her head with a smile as she imagined him saying 'such inconsequentialities you bother yourself with,' instead of just saying something like 'it doesn't matter,' like anyone else would. She knew he loved her, and she knew he could be very patient when he wanted to be. She just had to trust Severus, and trust him she did.

"You're right. It's simple, I'm just overthinking it. Maybe all I needed was for you to remind me of that!" She laughed.

Hermione smiled but then bit her lip as if she was nervous, and Hannah got the impression that whatever Hermione was going to say would not go down well.

"So, you and Prof… _Severus_ are serious then? You think that you'll, you know…try and make a life together, even though you're only eighteen? Sometimes…Ron worries that he wants your money or your status or something…and you hated each other for so long…" Hannah snorted at Ron's accusation and shook her head, but resolved herself to stay calm and explain.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd probably say something like 'I don't know' and 'it's very early on, we'll see how it goes.' But Hermione, Severus is the only sane thing in my insane life. He keeps me sane in insane places. If it wasn't for him…I don't think anyone else can really _understand_ me. Not that I'm using him as a crutch…I don't know how to explain. I just…couldn't help but fall completely in love with him. You should understand Hermione, he's intelligent, loyal, brave and despite appearances, he has such a great capacity for love. Anything he was in the past has been paid for two-fold."

"And you're sure that he loves you? Are you completely sure he's not…I mean you're Hannah Potter, he could be…" Hannah raised her eyebrows.

"Using me? Manipulating me? What for? I told you, he refused me yesterday, so he's obviously not using me for…well, _that_! Don't you remember me telling you about his Patronus? Besides, I'm a werewolf, we can't forget about that little tidbit, can we? Kind of destroys the money and status argument! If he didn't love me, he'd just palm me off like any other student. Honestly, you sound like me two years ago. I could ask you some of the same questions about Ron." Hermione nodded looking apologetic.

"It's not that we don't believe you – we're not blind, we can see how you look at each other when you think no one is watching you. We just want to make sure he makes you happy."

"And he really does Hermione," she said flashing her a genuine smile, before crossing her arms grumpily again. "Or at least he _would_ if he wasn't being too gentlemanly to hurry up and take my virtue already! Honestly, he's not normal, most men wouldn't hesitate at such an offer."

"Well, I think it's kind of sweet that he's completely taken the pressure off if anything. Seems like you've reversed the traditional gender roles – _you_ seem to be putting pressure on _him_! Besides, now I think about it, he probably doesn't want to feel like he's your Professor in that situation."

"Probably not, it certainly rubs him up the wrong way when I call him _Professor_ in private!"

After another bout of laughing, Hannah remembered that there was another issue that needed to be taken care of.

"On the subject of virtue…I don't think being a pregnant, eighteen-year-old werewolf is ever going to be a good idea." Hermione gave her a pointed look, similar to how she'd imagine Severus would respond to such an obvious statement.

"Seriously? You're in love with a _potions master,_ and you don't remember about contraceptive potions?"

"Of course I do!" She responded indignantly, "but where exactly was I when everyone else was learning how to brew them at the end of our fourth year? I swear, every time we were learning something useful…" Hermione had the good sense to look shamefaced as she remembered where she would have been.

"Oh. In the hospital wing…don't worry, I'll show you how to make it. They're pretty simple, and you only take a small vial once a week. Plus, once you've made a batch it'll last about two months. It's a shame you missed those lessons. Snape looming over everyone as they made it, the girls blushing and the boys thinking they had no use for it. In hindsight, they were some pretty amusing classes. Anyway, if you can brew Wolfsbane, you can definitely make this." Hermione was actually looking as if she was impressed with Hannah's newfound skill.

"It did take me about fifteen attempts!"

"Yeah, but I bet you spent half the time gawping at him and daydreaming!"

"Hey! I didn't spend _all_ of my time admiring him! But…you make a good point, I won't deny it…he is a fine specimen of humanity, and that is very distracting! Anyway thanks, Hermione, I guess all I needed was to vent a little. I'll leave you in peace for a bit, so you can actually get some sleep. See you later? I'll probably spend the day with Severus, but do you think Ron will be up for a few drinks at the Three Broomsticks tonight?"

"Just so long as you don't bring your Professor with you. I don't think he's quite ready for that yet!" Hermione giggled, and Hannah suspected that Severus wouldn't be keen on the idea either.

Hannah left Hermione's room feeling much less anxious than she had before their conversation. Upon leaving the room, she saw Ginny's characteristic red hair flying around the corner, and she sincerely hoped that she hadn't been eavesdropping again.

Potions class was never going to be what it used to be, not with Slughorn teaching anyway. Her Monday lesson had left her feeling irritated and angry. After her successful brewing of amortentia he had asked her how her lessons with Severus were going. She had made the mistake of confirming that she could now brew her potion without help and he had happily proclaimed her to be some kind of prodigy in front of the whole class. Tact was not a skill that Slughorn seemed to possess, and by the end of the day, whispers were resuming about her possible Lycanthrope.

The moment classes ended, Hannah headed to Severus' quarters hoping to discuss the issue. She arrived to find him already back from teaching and sat relishing a small glass of fire whisky, music playing as usual. The chess game they had left the previous night was still on the table, and he seemed to be contemplating his next move while waiting for her to arrive.

"Well, if _you_ can drink that on a Monday afternoon, so can I," she announced, already cheekily pouring herself some of the golden liquid. She looked over the board remembering it was her turn. "Knight to D5", she commanded.

"What's got you all riled up?" He asked. Sipping her drink and sighing, she sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Queen to B2."

"I could ask you the same thing. Potions class was an absolute disaster. Nothing new there but, well, discretion is not exactly Slughorns middle name. Bishop to D6."

" _Professor_ Slughorn, and no it's not. I'm assuming he's said something unfortunate? Queen to A1."

"Oh, he _only_ outright asked me if I could brew my potion yet in front of the entire class. Naturally, I couldn't lie, and he loudly proclaimed my abilities to everyone within earshot. King to E2."

"I hope you realise I expect you to get an O in potions? I concur with Horace's assessment. I see no reason why you shouldn't achieve top marks. Incidentally, Bishop to G1." Horrified, Hannah looked up at him in disbelief.

"What? But you're the _Dark Arts teacher_! What do you care about my marks in other subjects? Pawn to E5." Severus snorted as he took in her move and took another sip of his drink.

"What on earth are you doing? _Moving a pawn_? I've almost wiped you out. Anyway, every man and his dog knows you will get an O in _that_. I merely wish for my partner to have a well-rounded education. You know I'm more than willing to help you with anything you're struggling with. Knight to A6." While his use of the word partner drew a somewhat unwilling small smile from her, she hoped he wasn't expecting miracles.

"Hmph! I don't even think you read my essays anymore, you just put an O on the top! Come on, you can't be serious, potions is definitely my worst subject, I just don't have your gift! Knight to G7. Check."

"I correct spellings and punctuation…sometimes. I _always_ read them. And yes I am serious, you easily followed along with my annotations two years ago…King to D8." She looked up at him expectantly, was he going to lend it to her? Apparently not, because he shook his head and smiled wryly. "Don't look at me like that, giving it back to you would be cheating. Make your own annotations."

"Tst, fine. Queen to F6. Check." Hannah nervously squeezed his hand in hers and rested her head against his shoulder again. "You do realise, he basically confirmed everyone's suspicions?"

"It did cross my mind. But do bear in mind most of your classmates are idiots. Perhaps its time to stop hiding and write that article of yours?"

"Yeah, but Ginny gave me this strange look. It's as if she's onto more than that and…I dunno maybe I'm just paranoid."

"She's clearly jealous that I'm with you, and thus unavailable. Knight to F6. What _are_ you doing?" he taunted lightly. "You've got no towers, I've just taken your queen, and you're left with a bishop…why on Earth you bothered with that pawn I'll never…wait…"Hannah sniggered and climbed onto his lap, smothering his face and neck with kisses, before kissing him deeply, running her hands all over him, and teasing him as best she could until he seemed to become amusingly uncomfortable and shifted his weight a little.

"You _are_ unavailable. Bishop to E7. _Checkmate_!" She said with a smile, as she ran her fingers appreciatively through his hair.

"You play chess like Albus did. Everyone is dispensable, even the queen, keeping one unknowing piece lying in waiting to prey upon its hapless victim." She bit her lip nervously.

"Well, since I won…and I _never_ win at chess…"

"Hmm…what do you want?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"What, can't I appreciate kissing you without requiring anything in return? Well, other than the _obvious_ thing that you keep trying to distract me from, there is something. Will you help me? With writing the article, I mean?" His gaze softened, and he nodded.

"Of course, I'll help you. Though that will require moving." She relished in the warmth and feel of his body against hers for a few more moments before reluctantly climbing off him and grabbing some parchment and a quill. Absentmindedly running the feather over her lips, she paced for a minute or so, thinking, but she was coming up short already.

"So...what's the title?" Severus rolled his eyes and poured them some more fire whisky.

"In which the girl who lived became the big bad wolf, who'll huff and puff and blow your house down!" Crossing her arms grumpily, she gave him a deadpanned stare.

"…hillarious. Seriously, I have no idea."

"Simple, honest and to the point is probably best. Don't make it sound like a confession, and whatever you do, don't apologise, you've done nothing wrong. You needn't even put your name in the title, just as the author."

"The Human Werewolf by Hannah Potter?" Severus thought for a moment.

"That's not bad. It's honest, and it reiterates that you're _human_."

"Yeah, except for when I'm not…"

"Even on the full moon you're human, and you'd do well to remember it. Even when you do shed fur all over my living room, who knows what the house elves think goes on in here!"

"I'd never thought about that," she said amusedly.

It was a few days before Hannah was happy with her article. Severus had helped her turn her rambling thoughts into coherent, even beautiful sentences. Words were something he was much better at than her, but it was all Hannah in content. She spoke of what had happened at the lake, the pain of the transformations, the horrors that lay within the deceptive blue liquid she had to drink for seven days a month and even how dull being a wolf could be when you dared not venture outside. She spoke of her fears for the future and her fear of unfair judgements, but she also spoke optimistically of the unwavering loyalty and love of her friends and of how ultimately her _condition_ only really affected her for a few days a month. Not one mention was given to her status as the girl who lived, she plainly wrote the truth about life as a werewolf in Hogwarts and signed her name to it. Severus finally proofread the finished work, and she apprehensively called Edgar after writing a quick letter to the editor of The Daily Prophet asking him to include it a.s.a.p and demanding that he not make any alterations while also declining to make any comments or give any interviews in advance.

"I wish I could have written about you. Honestly, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to cope with all this, it would be too much," Hannah told Severus as they watched Edgar fly off into the distance. Strangely, Hannah noticed that Severus looked slightly pained and was looking at her sadly.

"You needed help at first, I admit, but you'd do admirably well alone now. You can brew your potion, you're sensible, and you have good friends behind you. I need for us to be a choice, not a necessity…" It was perhaps the first and certainly the most obvious sign of insecurity she had seen from him.

"Severus! Of course, being with you is a choice! Don't go being under the assumption that I think I've no choice. I'm with you because I love you – it really is that simple and it's the best choice I've ever made!" Relief washed over his face, and he took her hand as they began their walk back to the dungeons.

"Regardless, trust me. "Death Eater Corrupts Werewolf Potter" is a headline neither of us wishes to see."

"It's bound to happen eventually."

"I know, but one thing at a time. Why did you have to be everyone's favourite celebrity?"

"Look who's talking, Scoundrel or Saint?" She said, almost seductively. Severus groaned and pulled her in for a kiss, clearly in an attempt to distract her from talking. It worked. _Scoundrel_ , Hannah thought, _definitely scoundrel_.

Ironically, Hannah's article was published on the full moon accompanied by a 'Hannah Potter Confirmed Werewolf' headline, and she wondered what people were saying outside of the school. Surprisingly, nearly everyone had been supportive of her at breakfast that day, and Professor McGonagall had even taken the time to congratulate her on writing such a graceful article. While some of the students continued to stare at her and whisper, most of them seemed somehow impressed. Many of them gathered around her table that morning to show her their support, particularly the rest of the Gryffindors who were always going to maintain solidarity with their most famous of house members.

Feeling a deep sense of relief, Hannah looked over towards Severus and smiled when she caught his eye. Sending her a small smile back, he raised one crooked eyebrow at her as if to ask her if she really thought the whole school would reject her and she decided she'd have to find a way to thank him later. However, one person was distinctly absent from her list of well-wishers. Ginny Weasley had given her a dirty look and had promptly left the great hall. Despite Ginny's attitude, the day went remarkably smoothly, and Hannah's faith in humanity was somewhat restored, at least until their last lesson – shared defence with the seventh and eighth year Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Before Severus had entered the classroom, Pansy Parkinson marched up to her looking disgusted.

"I didn't know they let filth like you stay in Hogwarts. Didn't all the mutts go underground after the war? Is that why you're always sneaking around the dungeons? Snape's giving you potions isn't he?" The Gryffindor side of the room bristled in outrage and Ron and Hermione stood next to Hannah defensively, wands raised.

"Leave it, Pansy…" Draco said looking somewhat irritated and unwilling to antagonise Hannah.

"You know you're in the wrong when even Malfoy is against you, Parkinson!" Ron said threateningly.

"You lot don't know anything, that's not the _only_ thing he's giving her. Snape's fucking her too! I bet that's how she pays for his potions!" Ginny hadn't even looked up from her book as she made the scathing accusation and Hannah's cheeks turned scarlet. Clearly horrified at his sister's lack of compassion, Ron looked at Ginny in absolute disgust.

"Whose side are you on? What kind of sister or friend are you?" Ginny just shrugged nonchalantly while the rest of Gryffindor turned on her in disbelief. Disbelief in her insinuation, but also in her treatment of her fellow housemate.

"That's disgusting! Didn't know Snape was into _dogs_! That's a betrayal, I thought he was better than _that_." Pansy said scowling.

"Obviously, it's not true, Hannah would never do that, would you?" Neville said turning to look at her. Hannah remained silent, not knowing how she could improve the situation. Heart beating too quickly and cheeks flaming red, she turned away and sat at her table intending to ignore the entire situation. Everyone was standing around her awkwardly waiting for a response until Pansy broke the silence.

"Look at her! She doesn't even deny it! Can't believe it…disgusting, he must be desperate to fuck a _dog_! Perhaps he'll do you tonight, it is the full moon after all!" At that moment, Severus barged through the door and stalked into the room with a scowl.

" _Quiet_ ," he said, seemingly entering Snape mode. When he reached the front of the class, he surveyed the room suspiciously. The awkward and angry feelings in the room were all too obvious, and Hannah wondered how much he had heard. She dared not look up at him, but she could feel his eyes on her. There was no way he wouldn't notice her discomfort.

"Whatever anyone has said to, or about Miss Potter would do well to remember the events of last year. Each one of us owes her an insurmountable debt. _We_ are all enjoying our relative freedom thanks to _her_. Unless you'd all rather be practising the cruciatus curse on twelve-year-olds and preparing yourselves to take the Dark Mark? Frankly, I'm amazed that it has taken you a newspaper article to confirm any suspicions, do none of you remember your third-year werewolf classes? How _disappointing_ …" The room was filled with an awkward silence, and Severus apparently thought Hannah's discomfort was solely due to comments about her Lycanthrope. Nobody dared speak up and ask Severus about the elephant in the room, but Hannah knew that rumours would be abundant across the entire school by dinner. He continued to survey the room scowling.

"Well? If none of you have anything to say, you can all open your books to chapter eleven and read it in _silence_!" Despite the fact that Severus taught this class, the lesson seemed to go on forever in awkward silence.

Halfway through the lesson, she was passed a folded note, and she rolled her eyes but blushed furiously at the childish cartoon she revealed as she unfolded it. Severus was holding up an essay with a large 'O' on the top as she was on her knees earning her grade in a decidedly unacademic way. She turned and scanned the room for clues as to who sent it, but half the class had their eye on her giving little away, though something was telling her that a certain pansy had sent it. Returning her gaze to the front of the class to find Severus watching her with a knowing look, she suspected he missed nothing.

She was relieved beyond belief when the lesson ended, and she lingered to talk to Severus, no longer caring about any suspicion it might cause.

"Do you want me to make your potion tonight, or did you want to make it?"

"Can't we just make it together? Are you alright with me staying in your quarters again?" He nodded but was looking at her apprehensively.

"I hope you're not taking too many of their comments to heart?"

"It's not that, most people seem fine with it…did you hear about what they said about _you_?" To Hannah's surprise, he actually laughed, and his mood seemed to lighten.

"I can assure you, far worse accusations than sleeping with _you_ have been thrown my way. I'm a teacher and a former Death Eater, it comes with the territory." Sighing she showed him the crude cartoon she had been given halfway through the lesson. As he unfolded it he frowned and narrowed his eyes.

"Disgusting. My nose isn't anywhere near that big!" She snorted in amusement as he scrunched up the paper and threw it into the bin.

"That's the _only_ thing you disapprove of? Sounds like you _want_ me to earn my outstanding performances like… _that_." To her amusement, he hesitated for a minute looking dreamy, and she shook her head in mild irritation. "Wow. Now you're imagining it aren't you?!" At his lack of response, she hit his arm with her book to drag him out of his daydream as she blushed slightly at the idea.

"Sorry, a man can hope," he said, looking remarkably unapologetic. "I did wonder what they had passed to you, but as it's you, I let you off. I wish I'd shown the class now."

"No you don't," she laughed. "You're not angry with me for not denying any of their accusations?"

"No. Miss Parkinson is in denial if she thinks one would have to be desperate to sleep with you. Though I have to admit, at this point I am getting pretty desperate for you. You're far too desirable." Narrowing her eyes, Hannah looked up at him angrily. Of _all_ the times.

"And you're telling me this on the full moon? What kind of sadistic bastard are you? It's going to be two days before I've recovered! Seriously, Severus, if we don't make love soon, I'm going to explode. You have no idea how much sex is on my brain _all the time_ , and it's all thanks to you…git!" He chuckled and kissed her lightly on the lips. When he withdrew, he took her hands and held them tenderly.

"If you think I'm faring much better then you're definitely wrong. Is this your not so subtle way of telling me that you're not nervous about it now and that you're ready to take our relationship further?" Hannah smiled and shook her head at knowing Hermione was always right, and that he seemed to know everything.

"Hmm…I don't know…what do you think?" His eyes bored into hers for a long moment as if he was considering something. He then kissed her once more before they reluctantly headed to the potions classroom to prepare her potion.

SS

Several hours later, Severus was sat reading by the fire, and the wolf Hannah was soundly asleep on his sofa. The portrait hissed at him, and he sighed anxiously. Unfortunately, that usually meant someone was at the door, and he had a sleeping werewolf in his living room. After instructing Cliodna to allow her in, Minerva entered the room looking as stern as she did with the students and Severus suspected that this conversation would not end well.

"Ah, Severus, a word if you have a few minutes?"

"I exist to serve. What's on your mind?" Minerva flushed a little.

"Well, it's ridiculous really. The rumours going around are…" gasping, taking a step back, and grasping her chest as she saw the wolf on his sofa, Minerva looked at him angrily. "Is that? Are you out of your mind, Severus?"

"She's harmless, or do you doubt my potion skills?"

"Of course not! But she's….rumours going around the school about indecent behaviour. I come over to warn you and… here she is…in your living room! Please tell me there's no truth to them!?"

"Quieten down Minerva, she needs to sleep."

"Answer my question!" Worried their bickering would wake Hannah, Severus considered putting up a silencing charm, but it was too late. When he looked over at her, Hannah was staring at them with her ears back looking worried. If he put one up now, she would think he was hiding things from her.

"Technically, there is no truth to them. I am aware that this is still a school, even if we are temporarily teaching adults." Minerva only grew more angry at this, and she was clutching her wand tightly as if she was preparing to hex him into oblivion.

"And what is that supposed to mean? Have you lost your mind? You've watched her grow up, what the hell is wrong with you?" Feeling utterly defeated, Severus sat down and rested his arms on his knees.

"What do you want from me, Minerva."

"Start talking!"

"It started…I promised Albus that if we both somehow survived, I would get to know her. Truly get to know her. I'd just decided that he'd clearly lost his mind with age, and then she went and got herself bitten by a bloody werewolf, and I found myself spending a lot of time with her. I gave her a chance to prove herself, and she did. Before I knew it…my feelings were irreversible. Completely irreversible Minerva. I can assure you that I'd never harm her, and she is free to leave whenever she desires. As it happens, she doesn't seem to want to."

"Severus, you couldn't stand the girl! I spent six years trying to get you to treat her like a human and now…this. She's lost her mind, you both have!" She said glaring at the wolf on his sofa.

"Don't speak as if she's not in the room! She's no longer a girl, she's of age. What do you want Minerva? My resignation? If that's all it takes to ensure that our relationship is _proper_ then so be it. I resign."

"Oh, and where would the school be then? If ever there was a time these kids need stability it's now! How do I know you're not manipulating her, or even dosing her with amortentia?" As she said the words Hannah growled, baring her teeth and Severus gave Minerva a look of utter contempt. There was only one thing for it, and he silently summoned his silver wolf. It lingered in the room for a few seconds before disappearing.

"There's your proof. That accusation is beneath you. If you believe me capable of that, you should dismiss me immediately for the safety of the students!" Minerva sat in stunned silence for what seemed like a very long time, before sighing, though he already knew she was far too stubborn to apologise.

"Well, I can see there's no point in trying to discourage you. All I ask is that you be discreet, but I have to tell you if she was even one-year younger I'd have no choice but to fire you!" Looking down at Hannah over her glasses, she narrowed her eyes reproachfully. "And _you_! Don't think I won't be having words with you about this! You're above snarling at me like that! You know better, he's clearly rubbing off on you!" Severus shook his head. Only a Gryffindor would be idiotic enough to antagonise a werewolf. Hannah just shook her head from side to side as she rolled her eyes and he could easily imagine her saying "Blah, blah, blah!" causing him to smile at her antics. Minerva practically stomped out of his living room, but it seemed he was going to survive to tell the tale at least. He'd even managed to keep his job, and he wondered if she was really as angry as she was letting on. After a couple of hours, he headed to bed looking forward to the human Hannah waking him up as per their now usual habit.

It felt like he'd only just fallen asleep when he was startled awake by the feel of something against him. Turning over, he almost lept off the bed in shock at the sight of a very large black wolf lying next to him. Calming as he reminded himself it was only Hannah, he took a few deep breaths and relaxed.

"Hannah, if you want to give me a heart attack, that's certainly one way to go about it…are you alright?" She just nodded, looking slightly glum. He wondered if she wanted to talk mentally, but she seemed to be avoiding communicating through the mind since she had witnessed his remembered liaison with another woman. The memory had clearly made her feel very insecure and even nervous at the time, and he hoped that she wasn't obsessing, or feeling unsure of herself. He highly doubted that would be the reason she was climbing into bed with him as a wolf, however. After watching him for a few moments, she seemed to decide that he didn't object to her presence and closed her eyes sleepily. Deciding that she probably just wanted company, he decided to just go back to sleep, knowing he didn't need to fear her presence.

Waking to the feel of icy fingers creeping under his clothes, he groaned as he rested his hand on her waist.

"Morning," he grumbled.

"Hmm, morning." They simply held each other dozing for about an hour until Hannah stretched out disgruntledly. "Sorry for scaring you last night."

"Yes, waking up with the big bad wolf on my bed did cause a few heart palpitations. But don't worry, she only startled me because it was dark and I was asleep."

"Are you alright? McGonagall was furious with you…" she whispered.

"As she should be. You _are_ my student, and she was worried about you. After all, I can't say my intentions are entirely pure." He felt her heart begin to beat faster as he held her tighter. "Don't worry, I'm not going to be letting you go over something so trivial. She was reluctantly convinced in the end anyway, it's obvious when she knows she's lost because she just silently glares at me."

"She did seem shocked though, I suppose it's quite funny really," she sniggered.

"Yes, the expression she pulled when she saw you will be permanently etched into my memory. I nearly became the Headmaster again, heaven forbid…"

"What if she'd threatened you with your job?"

"I've taught here for a long time, with free board and lodgings. I have more than a few galleons to my name." He felt her relax a little and he decided to ask her something before she fell back asleep.

"What are your plans for Easter? Are you going to the Weasleys?"

"Maybe, why?"

"I wondered…we both have a few weeks off, I thought you might like to stay with me. Not here at Hogwarts, but at my private home, where it'll be just the two of us." She looked up at him in surprise before kissing him in apparent delight.

"You know, there's a good chance I might like that. Even if you are a git sometimes!" He chuckled and caressed her back sleepily. She studied him for a few moments as if wondering if she should ask something.

"What's on your mind?" She hesitated for a moment but then smirked wickedly.

"Are you planning on corrupting my innocence away from Hogwarts, Severus?"

"Perhaps," he said nonchalantly at being caught out.

" _Finally._ You're even more of a sadistic bastard for telling me that while I'm in _this_ condition…git." She said as she curled back into him sleepily.

Finally, indeed, he thought. Cementing their relationship physically was exactly what he intended, and though he knew he'd had ample opportunity, he hadn't wanted to make her feel pressured or take advantage of her when she was vulnerable. Not to mention that she clearly hadn't had the time, or perhaps even the inclination to involve herself in dalliances with men, and he wanted for her to have the best experience he could offer her. Although, he had to reluctantly admit that waiting until he could take her to his home would somehow make him feel less of an authority figure over her too, not to mention the fact that he was unused to such activities being loving. For a few moments he pondered the fact that a few years ago, had someone offered their body to him the way that she had, he doubted he'd have ever refused. He would have simply used the situation to his advantage.

Looking at her, he tenderly brushed her hair out of her face. She was already sleeping peacefully, and part of him wondered if she had any idea quite how much his love for her had changed him. He realised he'd been unconsciously worried that he would somehow revert back to his old ways, and not show her the love she deserved when they finally took their affection into the bedroom. Tapping into his feelings of love as he watched her, however, he knew he didn't need to worry. He loved her far too much for that to happen, and he suspected that for the first time in his life, he would know the difference between love and lust.

Sleepily wrapping his arm around her, he tenderly kissed her forehead and dozed along with her.


	12. Loves Language

Chapter Twelve

Loves language

To her dismay, Hannah had been right. The rumours concerning her and Severus' private affairs were all around the school the following day, and she decided not to bother denying the existence of their relationship. After all, she sincerely hoped that their relationship would only continue to develop and there seemed little point in hiding it, especially when it was only a few short months until the end of school anyway. If she was completely honest, they hadn't even really been trying to hide it, they just hadn't been shouting it out to the world.

Her fellow classmates seemed confused and disgusted at the news that their _hero_ had apparently decided to give her love and attention to the most famous of Death Eaters. She found it endlessly amusing that the idea of being with _Snape_ seemed to disturb them far more than the fact that she could very well _eat them_ on the full moon if she neglected to take her potion. Her other Professors pretended they had heard nothing about it and Hannah wondered whether there was simply nothing they could do with her being of age, whether they disbelieved them, or whether they were secretly happy that two of their most tormented souls had finally found some semblance of happiness. Whatever they were thinking, her lessons continued as normal. The Headmistress, however, called her into her office to berate her and ask awkward questions until she was blue in the face and satisfied that Hannah was in fact, more than perfectly happy in Severus' company. While McGonagall's questioning felt irritating and intrusive, Hannah supposed that in the end, it was her job to ensure her students were happy and safe.

With N.E.W.T level study being so demanding, the Easter break was upon her before she knew it. Knowing that she would soon be spending a few weeks with Severus alone, where there could be no awkward interruptions or questioning had her positively bubbling with excitement and anticipation. Despite this, she began to become uncomfortably aware that only three months of Hogwarts remained. So far, she had no concrete plans for where she was going to live or what she was going to do career-wise, and looking into the future was causing her mild panic. Grimmauld place was a possibility, but she _really_ didn't want to live there, and she hoped that Severus would allow her to move in with him once school was over. She supposed she probably had enough money in her vault to last a couple of years or more, but she hoped she wouldn't end up unable to pursue an interesting and challenging career.

Sighing at her thoughts, Hannah began to pack her belongings into her trunk. While she only needed clothes for about two weeks, she had no idea what they would be doing or where they were going. Severus had hinted that they would be going somewhere particularly special on the night of their arrival, so she thought it best to just pack everything. After all, life with the Dursleys had not exactly provided her with an extensive wardrobe, and she got the impression that she would look distinctly underdressed next to him. She made a mental note to finally buy some new clothes as soon as possible and wondered if Hermione would mind a shopping trip to Diagon Alley. Perhaps she would be finding herself adopting his dress sense after all.

After shrinking her trunk to a more manageable size, she said her goodbyes to Ron and Hermione and headed down to the dungeons to meet Severus. Butterflies were forming in her stomach, and she somehow felt ridiculously nervous at the prospect of spending two weeks alone with him in his home, particularly as she knew _exactly_ how she wanted their relationship to develop.

"Morning, Sev," she said as Cliodna let her in. His eyebrow lifted as he surveyed her.

"Good morning… _Miss Potter_." He said it sultrily, but it shocked her, and she folded her arms, pouting grumpily.

"Miss Potter? What did I do to earn that?" He shook his head smiling wryly.

" _Don't_ call me Sev…" Hannah chuckled and decided to use the pet name as often as she liked.

"So…um…how are we travelling?"

"Portkey. I've neglected to set up the floo network yet, and It'll save us having to leave the castle grounds to apparate. We leave in a few minutes. Do you have everything you need?" She nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I do now. I'm intrigued to see what you're actual house is like. You know, not you're Hogwarts home, but something you've chosen personally."

"I think you'll like it. It's small and comfortable, though I've only had it for a few months. I spent some time fixing it up a little at Christmas. Before then I had Spinners end but…well, I guess you know why I'd give that up. The time seemed right for a fresh start." She could empathise with that, she thought, wondering what on earth she was going to do with Grimmauld place.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going tonight?"

" _No._ It's a surprise."

"Do I get a clue?" He rolled his eyes and picked up a small empty potions bottle after checking the time.

"Covent Garden, in London." Well, that wasn't very helpful. She hadn't exactly had the opportunity to thoroughly explore London. "Twenty seconds," he said holding out the bottle. Trust Severus to have made a portkey out of an empty potions bottle, she thought as she took hold of it waiting with anticipation for the inevitable shock of being dragged to a new location. It came a few seconds later, and Severus steadied her as they arrived.

Hannah looked up at a beautiful L-shaped stone cottage. It was gothic in appearance and had latticed square windows with an angled porch connecting the two segments of the building. She noticed a conservatory at the back of the house, just visible from this angle. The garden was full of plants, though none of them looked to be of the magical variety and there was a small outbuilding that looked somewhat like an old stable. In some ways, the house looked a little like an old vicarage, or perhaps ironically, an old school house. It certainly suited him, and she thought it was beautiful. Irritated by smudges on her glasses, she took them off and intended to clean them, but Severus interrupted her by tutting, and he took them from her and put them in his pocket.

"Look at me," he said pointing his wand at her face. "Perspicuitatem." As he said the spell, her eyes tingled uncomfortably before clearing and sharpening and she looked around in surprise. She had probably been due a new prescription several years ago, and she couldn't ever remember seeing this clearly.

"Is this how everyone else sees the world? Why didn't anyone tell me you can fix your vision with magic? Everything's all blurry in the morning before I put them on, and I want to see you clearly!"

"You really do look much better without them you know…you should cast that spell every few days, or whenever it wears off. It can't be used on children because they're still growing. I admit…I assumed you were already aware of it and just liked wearing them." She pulled him to her and kissed him thankfully.

"Thanks, I guess I never really thought about it too much. It's just ingrained that I wear them. Can muggles see this place?"

"Doubtful. It has a disillusionment charm on it, they only see the woods behind. Unless you told them it was here, they'd never know. As you can see, it's reasonably well hidden anyway, and there's not really anything on the outside of the building to hide yet. I'm actually more concerned about other wizards finding it. I'd be surprised if nobody out there wants to kill _me_ for my betrayal, and _you_ for defeating the dark lord. There are still some fugitives, but if I know the ones that remain…hopefully, they'll stay hidden."

"We make quite the pair don't we?"

"Quite. Desirables number one, and two, I daresay." He took her hand and opened the gate, leading her into his home. The inside had a comfortable cottage feel. The walls remained uncovered showing the stonework, and the living room was beautifully furnished with dark woods and several high backed armchairs surrounding a Victorian looking fireplace. Bookcases surrounded them, but most of them didn't contain many books yet, and Hannah wondered whether he would live here during term time. It was evident that Severus had only acquired the place recently, but it still had a very comfortable and homey feel to it.

"There's not all that much to explore really, but have a look around and find somewhere to unpack. I'll make us some tea." He headed into the kitchen and Hannah called after him.

"I thought you drank coffee?"

"I do…but you drink tea." Hannah smiled to herself and headed upstairs taking note of what each room was. One of the two bedrooms contained the most imposing and luxurious bed she had ever seen, and since it was clearly Severus' bed, she unshrank her trunk and left it in the corner, doubting that he'd banish her to the spare room. She headed back downstairs, the promise of tea calling to her and found him pouring it in the living room.

"Thanks. This house is beautiful, I love it. Are you going to move here during term time?"

"Probably. I don't think I'm going to teach at Hogwarts for more than another two or three years anyway, and once the floo network is connected, I can just travel straight to the office."

"Oh…but if you're not teaching?" He chuckled.

"How will I make my Galleons? I'll probably just brew potions, it's surprisingly lucrative. There's a basement leading down from the kitchen that I've already set up as a potions lab. _You_ will be practising in it for a few days over the next two weeks." Hannah sighed, of course, he'd already set up a potions dungeon.

" _Really?_ You were only here for about a week at Christmas, and you've already made a potions dungeon! I should have known, and I'm even here of my own free will!" she groaned.

"Oh, I'm sure I can make it worth your time," he said suggestively, and her eyes widened at him a little.

"I don't doubt it."

Once they had finished their tea, Severus suggested that they go for a walk around the area so that Hannah could get her bearings. The house was situated on the outskirts of a large wood, but a small muggle village large enough for a little shop and a primary school was only a couple of miles away. It was nice, Hannah decided, that they could simply enjoy each others company without other people staring at her, already knowing who she was and her entire life history. Later that afternoon she discovered that Severus was an excellent cook, even if he did cheat and use magic for most of it, and she wondered why on Earth such useful spells were not taught at Hogwarts.

"This was delicious! I should have known you'd be a good cook with your potion skills and everything."

"Please do not debase the subtle beauty of potion making to…cooking…" he sighed. "Changing the topic…I took the liberty of buying you an item of clothing for tonight. You don't have to wear it…but I've noticed your wardrobe is somewhat…limited, and I thought you'd be more comfortable wearing it tonight than any of your usual clothes." Surprised, Hannah stared at him, struggling to see him buying women's clothes.

"Really? What is it?" Waving his wand, a brown package came zooming in from the kitchen, and he passed it to her. Opening it, she saw it was a beautifully soft and tastefully plain emerald green V-neck dress that would come down to her knees. "It's beautiful, thank you!" She really was thankful, but feeling slightly awkward, she tugged at her sleeve. If she wore it, her scar would be visible. He must have noticed her body language because he smiled at her kindly.

"You should wear it with pride. No-one's going to notice your scar where we're going. It'll be dark."

"Is your dark mark going to be visible?"

"That's different." He sighed.

"Does ever still hurt?"

"No, any power within it died the moment you defeated him."

"You're still not telling me where we're going are you?" He shook his head and smiled.

"We need to leave soon though, so you should go and change." After grabbing some tights and shoes from her trunk, she headed to the bathroom, quickly changing. When she returned, Severus was looking as smart as he did in his robes, but he had ditched his cloak for a long coat that wouldn't look out of place in the muggle world. He looked at her and smiled.

"It suits you. Ready?" He said holding out his hand to her. She took it, and she felt the familiar pull of apparition, before appearing in a small alleyway in muggle London. He led her down into the main street and towards an impressive looking white building with an enormous glass extension.

"The Royal Opera House?" she asked. He looked a little indecisive and was obviously wondering if he'd made a mistake bringing her there.

"I thought…well, you seem so fond of rooting through my records, and I guessed you'd prefer to go somewhere people won't recognise you…"

"No, I'm actually excited. I've never seen anything like that before, even if it does seem like something an _old man_ would do!" she added cheekily while nudging him in the ribs, earning her a groan. "So, do wizards not…how do I put this…"

"It pains me to admit it, but muggles generally make better music than the magical community. They have to put their heart and soul into it, whereas wizards tend to over-rely on magic to get them through. Nobody can deny the skill it takes to even create such complicated and intricate music, never mind present it so beautifully."

"Hmm. Makes sense. Do you reckon any of the famous muggle composers were really wizards?"

"Are you asking me if Mozart was a wizard?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Well, you never know!"

"As a wise man once said. Music is a magic beyond all we do here."

As they took their seats, the anticipation is the room seemed to be palpable, and she noticed that nobody even seemed to give her or Severus a second glance. When the curtain rose, Hannah was instantly pleasantly surprised. The music was beautiful, and it seemed to convey every human emotion imaginable. She was happy, she was sad and then she was laughing as a woman pretending to be a man, dressed up as a woman to hide from the count. As the plot unfolded she found herself tearfully enraptured and at the end, when the count had professed his love for his own wife for the first time in years, only because he believed her to be the maid, she heard some of the most beautiful music she'd ever experienced as his wife sang of her forgiveness. Severus it seemed, was just as happy to watch Hannah as he was to watch the performance. As the opera was nearing the end, she rested her head against his shoulder as she held his hand.

Once it was all over, Severus apparated them back to his home, discarded his coat, and pulled Hannah into a slow dance.

"I take it from your myriad of expressions that you enjoyed the opera? Even if it is the pastime of old men?" He asked her with his eyebrow raised.

"I loved it! The music was beautiful, I had a wonderful time."

Dancing was not a skill that Hannah considered herself to possess, and her complete failure to dance well at the Yule Ball in her fourth year had led her to want to avoid the activity altogether. Dancing with Severus, however, was completely different, and despite her reservations, she quickly began to appreciate the tender way he held her with one arm around her waist and his hand holding hers as he quietly hummed one of the tunes they had heard earlier. He seemed endearingly happy and at ease, and she was sure she'd never seen him so relaxed before. Hannah couldn't help but smile at his contentment as he slowly moved them around the room.

"Someone's enjoying himself!"

"Indeed. I'm simply glad to have you here, and that you enjoyed our night out."

"Me too. I don't think there's anywhere I'd rather be right now." Still swaying, he leaned in and kissed her passionately, tightening his grip on her and pulling her impossibly close before resting his forehead against hers, their noses touching. In their distraction, they had stopped moving, and he pulled back a little, his intense gaze seemingly looking into her soul again.

"Shall we retire for the night?" Hannah's heart sank as he said the words and she wondered if she'd be sleeping in the spare room after all.

"I guess it is getting late…" She reluctantly made to release him and move away, but he held her tightly against him in a divinely suggestive way and kissed her cheek before moving on to her jaw, neck, and collarbone.

"That's not exactly what I meant," he said in between kisses. "I have absolutely no intention of releasing you." _Oh._ Hannah thought as her heart sped up. "Unless…" deciding it best to just shut him up before he could change his mind, Hannah kissed him on the lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Suddenly feeling the constricting pull of apparition, Hannah found herself standing in front of the formidable bed she saw earlier. She stumbled forward into him with the shock and abruptness of their apparition, and though he could easily have taken her weight, he allowed them to fall back onto the bed, with Hannah landing on top of him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if she'd even be able to apparate with that degree of accuracy _this_ distracted. She resumed kissing him and began to slowly unbutton his shirt, before kissing his bare chest. He sat up and pulled her legs around his waist, shrugged off his shirt and resumed kissing his seemingly favourite parts of her skin over her collarbone. His hand migrated to caressing the skin under her dress, and before she knew it, he'd unzipped it and was lifting it over her head before deftly unclasping the back of her bra and discarding it. Wasn't there something she should tell him?

"Sss…Sev…" He'd migrated his sensual kisses to the top of her breasts and over her heart as he pulled at her tights while muttering something unintelligible about muggle clothes.

"Severus," she said more firmly.

"Hmm?" He answered, his lips still against her skin and his fingers tenderly stroking her back. He returned his intense gaze to hers, and she suddenly felt nervous under his scrutiny, even though his eyes were soft and loving. "If you're not completely comfortable then…"

"God _no!_ It's not that…" he continued to stare at her, obviously puzzled and ran his fingers through her hair, patiently waiting for her to continue. "It's just…I've never…I don't know what I'm doing…" she inwardly squirmed at her inability to form a coherent sentence and Severus simply chuckled at her, smiling wryly.

"Really? I thought you had a wealth of _worldly_ experience behind you!" She avoided his gaze and stared at his chest.

"Very funny…"

"It's _alright_. I know," he whispered softly. His hand cupped her cheek, and she looked up to find him staring at her with a loving look on his face. He lightly traced the infamous scar on her forehead as if acknowledging something. "Something else is on your mind," he stated as he returned his eyes to hers. With the way he was looking at her and tenderly caressing her skin, she knew she was being silly, and overthinking it, but she also knew he wasn't going to resume his attentions unless she vocalised her thoughts.

"I'm worried about…not living up to your expectations." Chuckling with amusement, he kissed her.

"Don't worry about _that_. You're _here_ , with me. That already far exceeds my expectations." She deciphered a wicked glint in his eye as he surveyed her.

"I get the privilege and enjoyment of going _painfully_ slowly with you, and you're worried I that I won't savour every moment of it? You're in denial, my love."

She giggled happily, and they stared at each other for a long loving moment. He leaned in slowly and resumed kissing her sensually as he skilfully teased one of her breasts, his thumb grazing over her nipple. It wasn't long before Hannah realised that Severus was a cruel, _cruel_ man and that he fully intended to keep his word. He gently pushed her onto her back trailing kisses down the length of her body and slowly removed her tights, lingering to kiss the insides of her thighs and then removing her last item of clothing. He proceeded to kiss his way inch by inch back up her body making her heart quicken and her whole body heat up with fire. Feeling slightly vulnerable and thinking that he had an unfair advantage, Hannah impatiently unbuttoned his trousers and he helpfully quickly removed his remaining clothes as Hannah shamelessly admired his entire body for the first time. He pulled her back into his lap, and she only got even more riled up as she felt him pressing into her hip.

Resuming his gentle caresses, he traced his fingers sensually up and down her torso before he surveyed her face for a moment, and she gasped as he began to touch her intimately. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as he stared at her intensely, obviously surveying her reaction to give her the most pleasure. Unable to prevent herself, she returned to kissing him passionately, and she wondered if she would ever get enough of his kisses. His attentions began to make her want him even more desperately, and she tried to adjust her position to ease their suffering, but Severus it seemed, was not going to relent and give her what she wanted, at least not yet. It was maddening, especially with the way he was pressing against her and Hannah vowed to get him back for it. He continued to tease her, and before long, waves of pleasure were already washing over her as he watched her with amusement in his eyes, clearly having enjoyed tormenting her and watching her ride out the pleasure he'd created.

She was full of love for this man, and she wondered if he'd allow his previous hopes to come true, but when she kissed paths down his chest and trailed her hand down his abdomen, he entwined his fingers with hers, making her pause and bring her face back to his.

"Just for tonight, this is all about you, but don't worry, I have no intentions of stopping you next time." He whispered softly. "Do you want to be in control?" The gently whispered question gave her butterflies, and at that moment she was unsure, despite her previous attempt to take control. He tenderly brushed her hair behind her ears before resting his hand on her waist and studying her intently. "Have I made you nervous?" He whispered gently. Slightly amused at the reminder that he noticed every tiny detail, she almost laughed. The intense love she felt for him was overwhelming, and she smiled as she shook her head.

"No." She whispered in reply to both questions, completely trusting him, before kissing him passionately and pulling him back a little in invitation.

In response, he gently pushed her back onto the bed and settled himself between her legs, positioning her and resuming his loving kisses as one hand entwined with hers, and the other wandered all over her. She knew that his own need must have been almost unbearable, but it seemed there would be no end to his soft kisses and gentle caresses, and Hannah delighted in the feel and weight of his body on hers. The anticipation was torture as he teased her, but despite his wonderfully thorough attentions, when he finally gave her what they wanted, she gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath. It had still hurt a little, and her whole body tensed against her will. Having noticed her discomfort he waited a moment for her to relax, watching her with gentle eyes that seemed to silently communicate 'it's okay,' and she caressed his cheek with her fingers. Gently taking her hand in his, he brought it downward in an invitation to increase her own pleasure. Luckily, Severus was very adept at distraction, and after watching her for a moment, he kissed and caressed her until the mild pain had faded and he was free to ignite an even greater pleasure from her than he had before, while also seeking his own.

He clearly wanted the night to last as long as possible because he set a lovingly leisurely, yet satisfying pace, and somehow she knew that he'd never treated anyone so tenderly before. Feeling her pleasure build to an impossible level, she wrapped her legs tightly around him, and it seemed all too soon she was pulsating around him and involuntarily letting out soft moans as intense waves of pleasure took over her for the second time that night. Unable to delay any longer he was soon shuddering with his own release while moaning lightly into her ear, still gripping her hand tightly.

By the end of the night, Hannah Potter had discovered two new things about him. Severus Snape was an immensely sensual and talented man. _Ensnare the senses indeed,_ she thought as they both began to relax from their highs. Completely satisfied and breathless, she simply enjoyed lying in a tangle of limbs watching him as he gazed at her. It seemed like they had a thousand things to say to each other, but didn't need to vocalise them. They already knew, and Hannah had never felt more loved.

Already missing the skin to skin contact after he eventually released her, she curled into him, and he wrapped his arms around her sleepily.

When a soft light began to creep its way into the room, Hannah regained consciousness to the feel of warm, steady breaths on the back of her shoulder, and Severus' arm wrapped around her – now loose in sleep. Not wanting to disturb his well-earned rest, she carefully turned to face him and brushed his hair out of his face, smiling at the memories flooding her mind. Feeling curious, she gently took his hand and turned it, her fingers lightly tracing the dark mark on his wrist. It was silver now and looked somewhat like someone had burned the lines onto his skin. She gingerly kissed it attempting to banish any sorrow the marred skin could cause, and simply enjoyed watching him sleep for a few minutes. Unable to resist, she peppered his face with light kisses, and he began to stir, wrapping his arm tightly around her again.

"You… are going to be….absolutely _insatiable_ …"

"And you're going to love it. After all, you only have yourself to blame." He groaned and tenderly brushed her cheek with his fingers. He silently surveyed her for a few moments as if he was looking for something, but he was apparently satisfied with whatever he found because he sleepily closed his eyes, dozing. Hannah must have followed suit because the next thing she knew, Severus was gone and she could hear the sound of running water coming from the next room. As she stretched out, he returned dressed, without his cloak, and with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up no longer hiding the dark mark from her. His hair was slightly damp, and he sat on the bed next to her with his eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Are you going to sleep _all_ day? Come on, I've prepared you a bath. I'll go and make some breakfast – any requests?" They turned as they heard tapping on the window, and Hannah snorted. Edgar had caught up with them, apparently.

"Whatever you like but…better include bacon…" He tutted and headed downstairs as she pinched his dressing gown and headed to the call of a warm bath. Upon entering the bathroom she rolled her eyes, noticing that he'd filled the oversized tub with bubbles and some kind of bath salts, or _something_ and she wondered if he even put potions in _baths_. After climbing in though, she had to admit that whatever he had put in it was very soothing and smelled wonderful. After relaxing in the warm water for several minutes, she heard the door open as Severus came in and knelt leaning against the bathtub. He ran his fingers through the water, making long patterns.

"Hows the water?"

"Wonderful, did you put a potion in it or something?" Raising his eyebrow, he shook his head minutely.

"No, just oils and bubbles. Nothing out of the ordinary, I'm not quite that bad." She happily gazed at him for a moment feeling utterly content, and simply enjoying his company. He seemed to be thinking the same thing as he ran his fingers through the warm water, and she closed her eyes in contentment. "I love you." He said softly, causing her to smile and return her gaze to his.

"I love you too. _I thought it was obvious_." She said imitating him earning herself a chuckle.

"I know I don't say it often enough…"

"Neither do I, but we don't need to cheapen our feelings with constant declarations of love. Besides, as I discovered last night, you're very adept at showing me love in other ways."

"Hmm," he hummed. "You expected me to leave you wanting? Surely you know me better than that." He asked amusedly with an arched eyebrow. She giggled a little and found herself unable to suppress a slight blush, wondering just how to phrase her thoughts.

" I just didn't know what to expect, that's all. I didn't know if I'd be able to…well…you know."

"If I thought you wouldn't get any pleasure out of it, we would simply have tried again another day. Luckily for me, you were _extremely_ receptive." He said with his eyes glinting wickedly.

"Well, you kept me waiting long enough! This should have happened months ago!"

"If you say so," he chuckled as he leaned in to kiss her. As he pulled back, he sighed looking apologetic. "I'm afraid you're going to have to drink a rather unpalatable potion after breakfast. Ironically, they take quite a while to make, but thankfully I had one in storage in the basement." He pulled a small vial out of his pocket, and she frowned at the unpromising looking liquid.

"Why?"

"Emergency contraceptive. I'm sorry, I should have given you Silphium weeks ago…"

"Oh, I'm not drinking _that_ ," she said pulling a face as she recalled stories of the horrifying taste.

"You _will_ be drinking it!" He said angrily. "You're an eighteen-year-old werewolf, who's far too…" She glared at him, and he broke off mid-sentence.

"Far too what? Scrawny to be carrying children? That's not exactly my fault is it?"

"I was going to say thin, or slender."

"I'm not _that_ skinny, and you weren't complaining yesterday…anyway, it's a bit late to be bringing up contraception _now_."

" _Hannah_ , you know I think you're beautiful. It's not…" he sighed. "Have you ever heard of a female werewolf having a baby? For all we know it could be impossible, or extremely dangerous. You really must take this potion."

"Sev, do you really think I haven't already thought about all of that?" He looked relieved but confused, and she rolled her eyes at him in amusement. "I'm not taking it because I don't _need_ to. I've been taking the Silphium potion since you told me you loved me that night I wandered too deeply into your memories. I'm not stupid Severus."

"I know you're not, I should have asked ages ago, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Who made it?" He asked with a hint of suspicion in his tone and Hannah giggled.

"I did. Hermione taught me how to make it. I wish I'd been in those lessons, I bet they're hilarious. I always seemed to be in the hospital wing whenever anything useful was being taught." He seemed satisfied with her answer and resumed running his fingers through the water looking content. "You don't want children." She stated, causing him to pause abruptly. The air was suddenly thick with tension, and she already knew the answer.

"No. But…I'd likely compromise for you if it was something you really wanted or needed. We might not get a choice, there's a good chance it's impossible. The transformation is already so hard on you…it's difficult to imagine a baby being able to survive it and who knows what it would do to _you_." She had never really thought about having children, not really. Her life so far had been too full of death and destruction, but the thought of having the choice taken from her stabbed at her heart and her eyes prickled with unshed tears.

"You're probably right." She said sadly. "But, we'll always have each other…no matter what."

"Yes, we will. Always. Who knows? I am a potions master. Perhaps given enough time, something could be worked out. Come on, breakfast has been waiting long enough, we've been talking so long my stasis spell is going to wear off, and it'll get cold!"


	13. Contritum Somnia

Chapter Thirteen

Contritum somnia

It was remarkable how quickly two weeks could fly by, and Hannah found herself not ever wanting to leave the cottage that had immediately felt like home. Easter with Severus had been a taster of what life together might be like once her time at Hogwarts was over, and Hannah already felt like she would never get enough of him. While admittedly he had spent a good few days ensuring that Hannah's potions skills were brushed up ahead of her exams, they had also spent some time exploring the local village and the surrounding countryside, and Hannah had fallen completely in love with this small, quiet part of Scotland. By night, they had explored each other bodies just as any other young couple in love might and Hannah had come to the conclusion that Severus was a very considerate lover. Throughout her stay, her love for him had only intensified, and she had started to finally feel that their relationship was one of equals.

The morning before they were due to return, Hannah pushed her breakfast around her plate slightly despondently, unsure whether her lack of appetite was due to her having taken her potion the night before, or the fact that she would have to return to school the following day.

"I'm going to have to modify your potion again if you're going to refuse to eat properly for a week every month," Severus said with a sigh, sipping his morning coffee as he discarded his morning paper. "At least you sleep properly when you're with me."

"Tell me about it! All I want is meat at this time of the month, it's awful. It doesn't help that I'm starting to get nervous about finishing school as well, it feels strange to be heading towards the end of it all with no real plans for the future. Anyway, how did you know I'm sleeping better lately?" He lifted a single eyebrow at her as if to comment on her intelligence.

"Please don't insult my intelligence. You haven't been sleeping well for the entire year, your eyes always give it away."

"Was it really that obvious? Well, I don't seem to have any nightmares anymore. Not since…you know…crying the whole night. You're right though, I do sleep much better when I'm with you, especially after you've unleashed all of your hidden talents upon me!"

"Yes, well, I think we both sleep better after _that_. I'm glad you've finally gotten some decent rest over the past two weeks."

"I hope you don't expect me to stay in Gryffindor tower _now_. You better empty a few drawers, because there's no way I'm not going to be staying with you at Hogwarts now I know exactly what you've been holding back." He snorted comically and tutted.

"As you wish. As for the future, sometimes I think you forget you're Hannah Potter. You might not like it, but I'm sure certain concessions will be made owing to who you are. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I assumed you would be…moving in with me after your exams?" Perhaps unreasonably surprised, Hannah looked up happily and stared at him. His face appeared comically stoic, and he was clearly worried about her answer.

"Are you serious? You're completely…amenable to such an arrangement?"

"Of course, but I understand if you want your own space for a while. Sometimes it's easy to forget how young you are. It would be perfectly natural to want some time to yourself before settling in with someone else."

"Hmm…I think…maybe you're right. I do own Grimmauld Place, perhaps I could settle in there for a while." She watched as his brow furrowed in confusion and disappointment and she couldn't help but laugh at him. "I'm pulling your leg! Of course, I want to move in with you! It's not like I'm not always going to want to be with you, is it? You should be more sure of … I dunno, us, maybe? Sometimes I think you're under the impression that I'm going to run away…I'm not. I've never been so happy." He frowned a little, still looking slightly unsure, and Hannah knew it would probably still be some time until he was completely secure in their relationship. In an attempt to reassure him, she vacated her seat an hugged him from behind and kissed his cheek earning her a crooked smile.

"Well, since that's settled we should probably make some preparations for your permanent residence here."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not going to have free access to the school's supply of potion ingredients forever. It would be prudent to fill the garden with all the plants we need. This would not be an ideal place for you to transform without it, though I suppose the basement could be used in an emergency. I know a trip to Diagon Alley is probably the last thing you want to do, but spring is generally a good time for planting so I think we'd do well to collect everything today if you're alright with that?" She had been feeling slightly guilty at using up almost all of the school's supplies, and spending their final day of the holiday shopping and digging up the garden in preparation for their future together somehow seemed a fitting, albeit mundane end to their first two weeks alone together as a couple.

Their trip to Diagon Alley had been kept as short as possible, and Hannah pretended not to notice the people who would stop and stare at them or talk excitedly as they walked past. Just walking through the famous street was enough to remind Hannah of her infamy, and she always hated it. Thankfully, her beloveds reputation preceded him. Severus' formidable presence seemed to put people off approaching them, and Hannah was spared the annoyance of having to deal with overenthusiastic fans or ill-wishers. Perhaps selfishly, she hoped that people would always leave her in peace when in his company. Severus seemed to notice her discomfort and took her hand in his, apparently uncaring about the looks of disapproval thrown their way, and Hannah was more conscious than ever about how odd their relationship must appear to the average person. If a relationship between student and teacher wasn't taboo enough, she dared not dwell too much on the fact that people were probably wondering why on earth she, as the 'saviour of wizardkind' and confirmed werewolf, would ever consider associating herself with a former Death Eater. No doubt they were also wondering why Severus would entertain the thought of her too, something she sometimes unwillingly pondered as well.

After receiving knowing but sympathetic looks from the proprietor of Noltie's Botanical Novelties due to the all too obvious combination of plants they had bought, they had made a short stop to the Apothecary. As they walked passed Madam Malkins, Hannah paused as she took in the window display. Normally, she felt wizards robes appeared too formal and felt too cumbersome to wear casually, and she generally preferred her muggle clothes. Something about the understated and plainer robes in the window appealed to her, however, and she quietly admired them for a second.

"Are you finally going to buy some clothes that don't belong on muggles?"

"Perhaps, do you approve?"

"Obviously. After you," he said gesturing to the door, clearly not willing to accept 'I'm not going to buy anything' as an answer. Half an hour later, she came out of the shop with two beautiful sets of plain, perfectly fitting robes that she could wear whenever she decided she wanted to match Severus' more traditional sense of attire. While she knew they'd only ever be worn on special occasions, it was nice to have something other than jeans and t-shirts to wear.

Unfortunately, a familiar form stopped and scowled at them just as they were leaving the shop. Lucius Malfoy was apparently unashamedly enjoying his newfound freedom out in the open. Hannah inwardly squirmed a little as he looked at them in turn with a disgusted look on his face, and she felt sick simply being in his presence. He must have been aware of his surroundings, however, because he changed his expression to one of apathy, perhaps deciding he would do well not to appear too disapproving of 'the girl who lived' in public. It was a sentiment that did not last long, as neither she nor Severus were in the mood for niceties. Severus sought Hannah's hand, gripping it tightly as if making a statement.

"Ah, Severus. As always, it's good to see you in the company of such… _refinement_. Draco tells me all sorts of _rumours_ …evidently, they're true." He said, sneering at their hands. "How _touching_. I'm glad that the two of you have each other, you certainly _deserve_ her, Severus. A fitting way for you to boost your status, I have to say. I should have thought of marrying Draco off to her! What a missed opportunity." Not even wanting to give Severus the opportunity to play along, Hannah angrily scowled at him, her temper rising quickly.

"So, who did you have to pay to escape Azkaban? Tell me, how does someone who spent his days openly kissing Voldemorts arse get away with two decades of war crimes?"

"You think a mongrel such as yourself my better, do you? It disgusts me that they allow you to stay in a _school_. The current Headmistress is clearly as soft and incompetent as the last Headmaster, _wouldn't you agree, Severus_? Don't be under the impression that _his_ record is any cleaner than mine. Do you really think that he wasn't just as devoted to The Dark Lord as I was? I've seen what he's capable of, yet he gets away with everyone believing he's some kind of hero. I can assure you, he's just as selfish and self-serving _now_ as I remember. For all our faults _now_ , we certainly had ourselves some fun didn't we Severus?" Hannah didn't know how Severus could be standing next to her so stoically, but she was only getting angrier by the second, and unlike Severus, she wasn't capable of maintaining a stoic façade.

"Maybe in the beginning, but he changed his mind pretty quickly. He became a better man for it, unlike you – for all your preaching about pure-blood superiority you were all just a bunch of cowards that ran away at the end! I'd love to sympathise with your position Mr Malfoy, but I'm afraid I won't be able to fit my head that far up your arse!" Just as Lucius gripped his wand and made to move towards her, Severus stood in front of Hannah, his wand already poised for action.

"I must advise caution, Lucius. As stupidity is not currently a crime, you are free to leave our presence if it disturbs you. Look around you – people are taking note. You wouldn't want anyone to think you still sympathise with The Dark Lord, would you?" He spoke with a quiet, clear and dignified voice, and he was right. A few people had stopped and were watching their every move. Lucius had no choice but to back down, and he left swiftly, but the confrontation left Hannah feeling angry and out of sorts. She simply couldn't believe that Lucius was still walking free and she wondered if she'd ever manage the quiet dignity that Severus managed to maintain, though she had to admit, he'd likely had considerable practice. Once Lucius had disappeared, however, his stoic mask vanished, and Hannah felt an aura of intense concern coming from him.

"Do _try_ not to get into street fights, Hannah, it's beneath you." He admonished crossly looking into the distance, though she got the impression that he wasn't really angry at her.

"How do you stay so calm? You always seem to have such dignity…now you're not yelling at students all the time anyway."

"What makes you think I'm calm?" He asked with a deep frown.

They had immediately apparated home after their encounter and had quietly set themselves to work with the planting of the garden. Severus seemed quiet, even more so than usual, and Hannah worried that he was contemplating Lucius' words too much.

"How is it that he escaped Azkaban do you think?" She asked him as they planted the last of the Valerian, several hours after they had returned.

"The very same reason I escaped. If everyone involved with The Dark Lord was convicted, half of the adult community would be imprisoned. By right's, I should have been in Azkaban the first time around. I _know_ Lucius – he's secretly glad that you defeated the Dark Lord. You were right to call him a coward. In the end, he will always ally himself with the winning side, regardless of his true beliefs. But he is right when he says my record is no cleaner than his. In the later years, obviously, I had a change of heart, but you should always remember that in the beginning, being a Death Eater…I believed in it. I _enjoyed_ it, and so did he. We were even friends of sorts at the time." He looked ashamed, and Hannah's heart ached for him. She hugged him tightly and drew him in for a tentative kiss, a kiss he returned far more passionately than she had expected.

"No. You're a good man Severus, you just needed some time to realise it. Dumbledore knew it, and I know it. It doesn't matter what some pompous git thinks, you've always been better than him." He kissed her forehead and sighed, seemingly in an effort to expel any self-doubt.

"You're far too forgiving Hannah – not that I'm ungrateful for it. Thank you. But I think we should be cautious, I wouldn't put it past him to try and get to us discreetly."

"Tut. Stop being all mopey and gloomy. You go make some tea, I can finish up here, there's only the Wolfsbane left to plant. Then I can beat you at chess again as we listen to some more of your tunes." Returning to himself remarkably quickly he lifted his eyebrow at her comically.

"Do you think you can manage? Wolfsbane is temperamental, I'll not be blamed if it's dead by the time we return in a couple of months and I'm never going to pack away my potions lab in the basement just for you to transform." Hannah sniggered at his return to normal and smiled brightly.

"Yes, surprisingly I can cope. You can be such a git sometimes! Shut up and make the tea, this is thirsty work!"

"What kind of a way is that to speak to someone who gave you two orgasms last night? You won't be getting any more any time soon with that attitude." He said surveying her with a wicked glint in his eye. Hannah fumbled with her trowel and went scarlet at the unexpected statement.

"Ditto. You're still a git," she mumbled incoherently as he headed back inside.

Just as she had managed to get her burning cheeks under control and had planted the last of the baby Wolfsbane plants, she heard a voice calling her from behind, and as she turned, she saw a middle-aged and balding man she didn't recognise leaning on the fence staring at her. For whatever reason, something about him made her instantly feel uncomfortable.

"Um…Hi. Can I help you with something?" His appearance had startled her, and she struggled to tell if he was Wizard or muggle, his plain clothes giving nothing away. Remembering that there was a disillusionment charm over the house she assumed he must be a wizard, and she became instantly suspicious.

"Strange thing to be planting, that. Wolfsbane's poisonous you know, not something found in your average garden. What would you grow something like that for?"

"Oh, well…it's beautiful when it flowers, and you know…it keeps the wolves at bay," she joked lightheartedly feeling incredibly awkward.

"Indeed, it does," he said smiling warmly, though it didn't seem to reach his eyes. "You could have just planted Delphiniums or Lupins if you just wanted pretty flowers. I hope you're not planning to poison the neighbourhood cats!"

"Of course not!" She replied indignantly before realising he was joking and already laughing at her.

"Can I come and have a look? Looks like you've been busy planting today."

"Oh… sorry, but I need to..." Ignoring any protests from her, he entered their garden and handed out his hand towards her.

"Gregory Grimblehawk," taking her gardening gloves off, she tentatively offered him her hand, wondering why she couldn't just be rude and tell him to leave. The name was familiar somehow, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Hannah Potter," he took her hand and gripped it firmly – too firmly, pulling her towards him slightly.

"Really now. That's an interesting name, Hannah Potter." She tried to release his hand, but he was refusing to let go. In the corner of her eye, she saw him reach for something in his pocket with his free hand, and she quickly did the same, clutching her wand tightly and pointing it at him, the two of them in a standoff. She felt perfectly confident that she could handle the situation – had she not taken down incompetent wizards before?

"What do you want from me Mr Grimblehawk?" With a sneer, he finally released her hand, his wand still pointing threateningly at her face.

"I want you out of the picture. My wife created you, It seems fitting that it would be me to put you down. I lost everything because of you! I'll not have you destroy my life's work by gaining rights for soulless animals! It's not personal, I understand that the real you died when my wife bit you, and for that I'm sorry…" His voice was shaky towards the end, and it seemed to her that he lacked conviction. Heart beating out of control, but still feeling confident she could control the situation, Hannah was about to disarm this Gregory – husband of Mathilda and stun him, ready to be carted off by the Ministry's Aurors. She almost felt pity for him, a more adept wizard willing to stick to his convictions would have killed her already, and she doubted he would stick to his apparent plan to do her in.

Before she could act, however, he fell to the floor screaming the kind of screams that could only be uttered when suffering the ultimate physical pain she knew all too well. The pain caused by the cruciatus curse. Turning in shock, she saw Severus walk slowly towards them, smiling a wicked smile with his wand pointed towards Gregory. Clearly, he was enjoying this moment of pure torment, and Hannah felt disgusted as she took in his expression – an expression nearing towards pure glee, and his gleaming eyes seemed to twinkle in delight.

"Gregory Grimblehawk. I've been looking forward to this day!"

"Severus, stop! Please stop! What are you doing?" He refused to look at her, but he cancelled his spell and scowled at the shaking Gregory on the grass.

"You dare come _here_? If you had been a more attentive husband, your wife would never have infected her! Why exactly are you here?" After a second or two of silence, Severus resumed his torture curse, earning pitiful screams from the shaking form on the grass. Hannah pointed her wand at Severus, intending to disarm him, but he was too fast, and he magically pushed her away, making her fall to the ground. She had caused a break in his spell, however, and he resumed his questioning.

"I ask you again, why are you here?"

"To prevent the Potter girl spreading the idea that werewolves are normal. They're not. They're just dangerous animals." Severus sneered at the man looking disgusted and lightly clapped his hands, mocking him.

"Finally, well done. Now…how did you know where to find her?" At Gregory's silence, Severus sent another curse his way, and this time a blackness seemed to spread through his veins down from his neck, and Gregory screamed in fear and pain, grasping at his neck. Hannah began to shed tears as she watched the person she loved more than anyone else torture with apparent glee. It was as if it was twenty years ago and he was still a true Death Eater. She wondered who this madman was and whether her Severus was anywhere to be found.

"Severus…you have to stop! You don't need to…" He turned sharply towards her, but there was no pity or regret in his eyes.

"It is a necessary evil Hannah. Be quiet and stay here, where I can see you're safe." He turned back to Gregory, who had begun to attempt to sit up and was looking at them intensely fearfully. He was too incompetent to be a threat, he was just a Ministry employee, and it seemed to Hannah that despite Gregory's intentions, her Severus should be able to rise above it. Instead, Snape was angrily staring at the man, his wand threatening to unleash another powerful and debilitating curse at the pathetically whimpering man on the ground.

"I'm waiting. How did you know where she was?"

"I received a tip-off that she…she would be wherever you are…the Ministry has records of property. Please… don't kill me!"

"And who informed you she would be with me?" Snape eyed him menacingly, with his wand still threateningly pointed towards him.

"Lucius Malfoy. I…I know him from work." Snape snorted mockingly.

"He knew you would fail no doubt. Always sending other people to do his dirty work. So, in summary. You came here to attempt to kill Hannah Potter – a woman to whom we all owe our freedom, because you feel she deserves it for the privilege of being bitten by your own werewolf wife?"

"She's already dead! Her soul departed when she was bitten! I came here to stop her spreading it to other children in the school – just look at Fenrir Grey…" Snape's expression turned to pure rage, and Gregory didn't get to finish his sentence because Snape had sent a new curse his way. Large cuts had formed all over his body, and Hannah knew it wouldn't be long before he was lying dead on the ground. Still crying with shock and horror, she barged past Snape and ran over to him, trying to stifle some of the bleeding.

"Tell me the counter curse - _now_!" She demanded as she glared at a man she no longer knew. He simply stared coldly at Gregory's body, and Hannah feared the worst. That this man was going to die and she was going to have to watch helplessly. She didn't want another death on her conscience, and whatever his motivations were, there had to be a better way than this. Tears streaming down her face, and she once again turned towards Snape who seemed to be refusing to look at her.

"Please…for me. Heal him..."

"I can't. Healing requires compassion. You have to mean it." He hesitated, but she saw something change in him as she pleadingly looked into his eyes. "The counter curse is Vulnera Sanentur."

"Thank you." She proceeded to slowly and clumsily heal the man, with Snape looming over her with his arms crossed watching in silence. When the healing was done, Snape obliviated Gregory's most recent memories and the Ministry was called to take him away. He easily lied to the Aurors, claiming that Gregory had attacked them and that they had simply subdued him. Hannah noticed that he had lied so smoothly and convincingly that nobody even questioned his version of events. Though she unwillingly admitted that her own presence probably gave him much greater credibility. The second the Aurors left, he pulled her in for an embrace, but she just couldn't return it, and she remained limp in his arms. She had no idea who this man was – what right did he have to embrace her like that? He released her and rested his hands on her arms and Hannah stood unmoving, staring into space and avoiding his gaze.

"Are you alright? He didn't get chance to hurt you did he?" Something in her snapped and she violently pushed him away from her, pointing her wand threateningly at him.

"How could you torture someone like that? How could you be so cruel?" The words came out as a disbelieving snarl, and Snape crossed his arms defensively and stepped away from her.

"You say that like he didn't deserve it – as if he wasn't going to kill you!"

"He _wasn't_ going to kill me, I had the situation perfectly under control! There was no way he'd have bested me! You didn't need to come swanning over as if I'm a damsel in distress – is that what it was about? You had to save the weak woman?"

"Now you're just being ridiculous – you were the one in danger, I was the one able to assist. That's all! You should know that – especially with your hero complex!" She was only getting angrier, and she could feel her magic crackling as if it wanted to break free and attack him.

"Right. And your idea of assisting me was torturing a hapless old man? I don't know who you are anymore…is this how you show your love for me? By torturing people?" He scoffed at her mockingly.

"You think that love is always benevolent and pure? It's not. I have only become more selfish these past few months. I would put you before all the world. I would watch everything else burn with unadulterated delight if it would save you. Tell me, how far would you go to save someone you loved? Could you cause someone pain, knowing it would save another? Someone infinitely more valuable?" She thought back to Bellatrix Lestrange and how she tried to torture her, failing miserably because even then, after Bellatrix had killed her Godfather, she couldn't quite mean it.

"Even if I could, I'd never take delight in it. You enjoyed watching that man suffer. You got a thrill from torturing him… it had nothing to do with saving me."

"You're right. I did enjoy it. You could never know such pleasures because there's not even a hint of darkness within you, and I will always respect you for that. But that man destroyed the lives of dozens of people. People just like you. He might have looked like a weak, bumbling idiot, but I can assure you his laws have ruined the lives of a great many people. If it weren't for him, the werewolves would never have sided with Fenrir. Didn't you hear what he said? He regarded you as dead already. He compared _you_ to Fenrir Greyback. I am unable to feel any pity for such a man."

"But you didn't have to…we could easily have just restrained him and waited for the Auror's. You wanted to kill him. Do you not feel any remorse?"

"No. You're still young and full of ideals. You're blinded by them. There's not always a perfect solution, where everyone lives happily ever after…sometimes bad choices are all that remain."

"As if I don't already know that, you patronising old bastard! What about your soul? I've seen it…what happens to it when you kill for pleasure and don't show any remorse. How many people have you killed Severus? Do you regret any of them?" For the first time, he looked unsure of himself and took a step back from her as of he was wounded.

"What do you mean you've seen it?"

"When Voldemort killed me. Because he did kill me…it's complicated. In that afterlife I was at Kings Cross, perfectly fine and whole and feeling well for the first time in months. The part of Voldemort he destroyed…you don't even want to know Severus… it was beyond pitiful. I felt pity for it, that fractured remnant of soul destined to suffer forever. I don't want…you're better than this. You have to be better than this…"

"Hannah…it was probably an hallucination…you're mind was under immense pressure…"

"No. It was real, and you know it…in your memories, I remember…you even asked Dumbledore about your soul."

"This talk of souls is a moot point…I'd happily damage mine to save you. He's not the first person I've had to confront on your behalf in my time. I was a spy for you remember? I regret many things I have done in my life. Protecting you at any cost is not one. Can you not see that my reaction was bourne out of my love for you?" Hannah shook her head attempting to understand. What was he saying? He was cruel for her? The pain he inflicted on others was for her? She was shaking with an intense myriad of emotions; rage, sorrow and even fear, and her heart plummeted to the floor. She'd been under the impression he had changed, and she realised with a heavy heart that she was in love with an idealised version of him. Not the real him. Perhaps she never really knew him at all. Without another word she turned and exited the house, the door banging open unaided with Snape briskly following her.

"Where are you going? Don't leave…I won't let you leave, it might not be safe, there could be others." He grabbed her arm tightly as if he was going to pull her to him, but she simply couldn't look at him. She must have shocked him with some unintentional magic because he winced but held on to her regardless. She refused to turn, even after he made a gentle attempt to pull her into an embrace. After a few more moments of silence, he let her go.

"Don't try and follow me. I don't care if there's an army throwing AK's at me. Don't you _dare_ follow."

She needed to get away from him to work out her emotions and think. Without offering him another glance, she turned on the spot and found herself looking up at The Burrow. It was getting dark now, and she looked up at the light and warmth coming from the Weasley's home. Not wanting to impose, and realising that she really needed to be alone with her thoughts, knowing she shouldn't inflict herself on the Weasley's in this condition, she turned on the spot again and landed in a puddle just outside the forbidden forest. Groaning in disdain at the knowledge that she had just left almost all of her belongings with Snape, she slowly headed towards the loneliness of Gryffindor tower, her mind far too distracted to remember she only had two short hours to make and consume her potion.


	14. La Folia

Chapter Fourteen

La folia

Hannah Potter was acutely aware that her greatest vice was her complete inability to control her temper. Her impulsivity would probably be a fierce competitor, and she knew she often acted rashly without thinking. She was an emotional being, and she was never going to apologise for it. In fact, over time, she had learnt to embrace this part of her nature. Snape would probably see such impassioned outward displays of emotion as weak or indulgent, but to her, it reminded her of her humanity - something Snape seemed to be lacking at the present moment in time.

It took several hours for Hannah's rage to subside and for her to stop the angry tears that followed her pathogenic need to throw around unsuspecting objects in her room. She should have expected Snape's reaction, but the shock had seen her flee the scene in despair at her realisation that the dark side of his nature had not left him, and that it never truly would. The worst part of the whole thing was that she still loved him, even knowing what he was capable of, and it disturbed her. By the time she had managed to dispel her anger, an uneasy sense of unknowing sorrow had settled within her mind. What now? Could she forgive him? Would she return to him? How could someone who had been so incredibly loving, gentle and tender with her also be capable of such cruelty? Too many questions were floating around her head, and after deciding that she was in no fit state to be making any decisions, she went to bed feeling mentally exhausted.

Several hours later, the now familiar tapping of glass woke her up and she gratefully opened the window. Beautiful, loyal, cantankerous Edgar had swiftly followed her, and she felt guilty for forgetting him. She let him in and hugged him as best she could, something he often wouldn't allow, and she wondered if he somehow knew just how upset she was. As she turned to head back to her bed, a soft red glow caught her eye and absolute terror immediately washed over her. Hermione's orb – the one charmed to tell her when to take her potion was omitting a soft red glow, and in her haste to retreat from Snape, Hannah had neglected to make her potion yesterday. She had promised. Not only herself but Severus too. She had vowed never to make such a mistake again. But as Snape had seemingly betrayed her trust, she felt less guilty at having broken her own promise. After a few minutes of panic at her situation, she decided that since she knew in advance what would happen in five short days time, she could easily safely lock herself up within the room of requirement, or even head deep into the forbidden forest. It would be the first time she had spent her entire metamorphosis alone, but she didn't _need_ Snape's assistance, and she wasn't going to ask for it. She inwardly laughed at the irony of the fact that she had fled from Snape for his cruel ruthlessness, yet in a few days, she would be a savage, uncontrollable wild animal. But that was the issue, wasn't it? _She_ would have no control over her actions. _Snape_ had been completely aware of what he was doing and had so obviously enjoyed it.

 _"_ _My reaction was bourne out of my love for you."_

She shook her head, unwilling to see such horrific actions as a result of love. Not daring to dwell on what happened in case she ran home to him, Hannah spent the following day buried in her studies. Merlin knew that she could always do with some extra reading. She had never been a particularly studious person, and her change of heart was a testament to just how much she wanted to avoid thinking about Snape. _Anything_ to not think about Snape, and focusing on something that was not him was all she wanted to do for the time being. She worried that he might try and contact her, but as evening approached she realised that for now Snape was giving her some space and she was grateful. To her relief, when she returned to the tower that night, he had somehow returned her trunk to her, and she was glad not to have the embarrassment of having to appeal to him for her things. Her heart sank when she opened it. The emerald dress he had bought her had been placed on top of her other clothes, and the memory of the night she wore it was still fresh in her mind. The sight of it brought forth memories of his loving attentions on their first night as lovers, and she suspected he had put it there deliberately. When she searched her trunk, she found that two of her most prized possessions were missing – her invisibility cloak, and the Marauder's Map. Perhaps he had kept them to spy on her she thought angrily as she returned her things to their rightful places.

 _"_ _I have only become more selfish these past few months."_

Ron and Hermione returned from the holidays the following morning, just in time for breakfast and cheerfully sat next to Hannah, Hermione with a knowing look on her face.

"So…" Hermione asked, smiling a crooked smile and looking amused. Hannah stayed silent, not knowing how on earth she was going to express all of the thoughts and emotions going around in her mind.

"Look, I _really_ don't want the details anyway…it would be different if it was someone else but… I just can't imagine _him_ …all I want to know is whether your _romantic_ holiday was everything you hoped for? Did everything live up to your expectations?"

"Um…yes…and no. _That_ was…Severus was…well, I wasn't expecting it to go _that_ perfectly, put it that way. But then…something happened on Saturday. Someone attacked us and… look can we talk about it later?" Hermione's smile dropped from her face and Ron – despite attempting to ignore their conversation, looked worried and confused. Hannah fully intended to explain everything to them later, but the arrival of the morning post ensured the necessity of an earlier explanation. Gregory's attack on her made the front page, though the whole story remained between her and Snape alone. Hannah looked up towards the head table and momentarily caught Snape's gaze upon her. She turned away quickly, but not quick enough to notice his tired features and irritatingly, the fact the Edgar had apparently betrayed her in favour of his company this morning. _Traitorous bastard_ , she thought grumpily as she gulped down her remaining pumpkin juice before heading out of the great hall with Ron and Hermione.

"Are you going to tell us what happened? Did the Prophet get it right? It says that Gregory Grimblehawk was the head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures…is that why he attacked you? He saw you as some sort of threat?" Hannah would never get over Hermione's perceptiveness, and she shook her head in exasperation. Nothing was ever going to get past her two best friends, and not for the first time she was definitely glad she had them on her side. Deciding it best to just come out with the entire story, she pulled them into a nearby deserted classroom and quickly went over what had happened on Saturday afternoon, desperate for Hermione's advice.

"I can see why you're upset, and I completely agree with you in that he was wrong, but are you honestly surprised? It's obvious he'd do anything for you, even if it is…unpalletable…"

"Hermione, it's not that…it was the unnecessary cruelty…he enjoyed the act of torturing…"

"Hadn't you already seen such things in his memories?"

"Yes, but I thought it was all in the past. I thought he was a different person now." Understanding washed over Hermione's face, and she looked at Hannah cautiously before speaking.

"I think…the real reason you're so upset about all this is that Professor Snape…I think you've realised who he _really_ is. You've been idolising him, romanticising your relationship and forgetting that nobody is perfect. We all have flaws."

 _"_ _Young and full of ideals. You're blinded by them."_

"Obviously, but not many people would enjoy torturing someone…even if he thought he had to do it..." Hermione looked like she wholeheartedly agreed, but seemed entirely reluctant to comment either way.

"Well, I would," Ron interjected, speaking for the first time since their conversation began, and Hannah and Hermione looked over at him, shocked. "What? Look, if someone tried to kill Hermione, I'd be far too angry to worry about the pain of the bloke that did it wouldn't I? Yeah okay, so it wasn't necessary, but in the heat of the moment, I'd do my best to get my revenge…for the both of us. Can't believe I'm saying it but…I can see why Snape would do it."

 _"_ _You think that love is always benevolent and pure? It's not."_

"If you ever did anything like that, I would be furious with you, Ronald! Hannah's right to be angry, what if Gregory had died?"

"Doesn't matter though, does it? Gregory wanted her dead, and I know I'd rather have him kick the bucket than either of you! I'd still do it, anger and all, and you'd forgive me… _eventually_. You should give the man some credit, he restrained himself in the end and let Hannah heal him…which is probably more than I would have done." Hermione said nothing, and it was obvious to Hannah that she _would_ forgive him, just as Ron said…eventually.

" _I would watch everything else burn with unadulterated delight if it would save you."_

"Aside from anything else, from everything I know about Professor Snape, I can tell he's an exceptionally emotional man, even though I know he doesn't really outwardly show it. At least to us mere mortals anyway. After all this time protecting you – at _any_ cost, and knowing that the world was on your shoulders…well, I guess the saying goes 'old habits die hard.' Didn't you say he was gathering information? He could easily have simply slipped back into his old routine from during the wars." Perhaps Hermione was right, and her friends had certainly given her some things to think about, but she was still extremely angry with him.

"Maybe, but I'm not ready to forgive him…at least not yet. Anyway, you two head off to class, before you're late. I'm skipping his today, I don't think I'm ready to face him today, I'll see you later."

Hannah watched as her friends headed off to Snape's class, and she decided to head out into the grounds to clear her head. While walking around the Black Lake, she found herself reflecting on her friend's comments. Would she kill someone for him? Yes. Yes, she would. On the one hand, she knew why she was angry with him. Deep down, he still had the potential to be ruthless and cruel in _her_ name, and it disturbed her. Perhaps his time as a Death Eater had left more than a physical mark, perhaps it would never truly leave him, and she worried for his soul. On the other hand, she wondered if she was angry because part of her was just as dark, and she didn't know how she'd react if it were Severus who had been in mortal peril. If she had thought that he might be murdered at any moment, would her response be so different?

 _"_ _there's not even a hint of darkness within you."_

But he was wrong, wasn't he? There _had_ been times when she had been consumed and blinded by hatred. Hadn't she wished Umbridge dead? Not to mention Voldemort. She shook such thoughts out of her head. Hannah had never tortured anyone, and she never would. She was unwillingly beginning to empathise with his perspective, but she was stubbornly determined to make him suffer for a while, and she was reluctantly ashamed of the fact that she had fled from him instead of talking to him like an adult. _Although_ she reminded herself that he had been completely unwilling to listen to her point of view at the time.

Resigning herself to waiting until after the full moon had past to confront him, Hannah headed back towards the castle but was interrupted by Edgar's caw, and she stuck her arm out just in time for him to land on her arm. He held out his leg in an irritated sort of way and seemed to be cross with her. Sighing, she took the note, already knowing who it was from and what the contents would likely be.

I cannot excuse you from class until after

the full moon. See Hermione for your assignment.

Whatever happens, my door

will always be open to you.

Not wanting to skip her other classes, and admitting to herself that in this at least, Snape was right, Hannah returned to the castle, and it wasn't until evening in the Great Hall that she got the chance to talk to her friends about Snape again.

"Hannah, you've been quiet all day. You're not going to…call it a day on your relationship are you?" Hermione asked. She looked over at him, and they stared at each other for a few moments. No. She loved him far too much to end their relationship completely.

"No. I just need some time, when Snape apologises, I'll forgive him. Why?"

"Well, you should see him. He looks terrible, and so do you! You can't avoid him forever, and why are you calling him Snape?" She already knew that she couldn't avoid him for long. It would be a folly for her to attempt to stay away from him.

"I guess…it probably sounds silly but…Snape is the grumpy old potions master, who's basically the evil Death Eater git right? But Severus is well… _my_ Severus. The kind, loving side of him. It's just my way of differentiating between his good cop, bad cop I guess."

"Well, he's certainly acting like Snape at the moment. Please come to class tomorrow, he might be less sharp with you around." Hannah hoped she was right. She certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of his famous snark and cruel remarks right now.

Hannah spent the following few days focusing on her classes and studying, still attempting to avoid Snape. His lessons went as well as could be expected, and though she could feel him watching her whenever she wasn't looking, he didn't speak to her. When the full moon arrived, Hannah nervously headed towards the room of requirement before changing her mind and quickly heading deep into the forbidden forest. She had a sneaky suspicion Snape would follow her if she went into the room of requirement, and she didn't really want him to know that she had neglected to take her potion _again,_ despite the result of her last transgression being the first time their true feelings had been expressed. Wanting to ensure no-one could cross her path, she headed as deep into the forest as she dared, before waiting under a tree for the familiar pain to hit her in this unforgiving place. She was strong and independent, and she didn't need Snape, but an unwilling laugh escaped as she remembered his ironic assessment a few months ago.

 _"_ _you'd do admirably well alone now. You can brew your potion, you're sensible…_

SS

Redemption and forgiveness. Such things were elusive, and something that could only be offered by someone else. Always, Severus Snape seemed to be seeking redemption and he was far too used to the feeling. This time, however, he was uncharacteristically afraid, knowing that this particular error of judgement might just have cost him his future happiness. He should have known exactly how Hannah would react, but in truth, he couldn't quite bring himself to regret his actions. As far as he was concerned Gregory had deserved everything he had received. He was afraid that Hannah would never return to him, and that his life would return to the shallow, empty selfishness that it had been before her. She had finally learnt to see him as he is, and she had obviously intensely disliked or even feared what she found. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Hannah's strength of character and her strong sense of right and wrong had in some ways, replaced Albus' influence on his moral compass. He had never loved so intently before, and he feared that it would destroy him, one way or the other. He had certainly felt as if he had been propelled into a tunnel of darkness when he had been left staring blankly in despair the moment she had left. He knew she'd be upset, but he never imagined she would leave so quickly and decisively. He'd broken his promise. He had let her go, and he'd only done so because, for all his faults, he loved her. All he could do now was hope that she simply needed some time to gather her thoughts and vent out her anger.

He was acutely aware that the full moon was tonight, and unable to prevent himself, he worried about Hannah, despite knowing that she was capable of taking care of herself. Pulling out the Marauder's Map, he searched for her name on the parchment, hoping in vain that she would head to his quarters to transform as usual. To his disappointment, he saw her heading towards the room of requirement, and after a moment of hesitation, he donned her invisibility cloak intending to follow her. He knew it was a creepy thing to do, but he just couldn't bear the thought of her being alone during her transformation, and he wasn't going to sit around his room wondering how she was. _Sentimental old fool_ , he thought. Just as he had exited his chambers and headed towards the room of requirement, he noticed that she had changed paths, and was heading out of the castle. Confused, he followed her footprints on the map and by the time he had caught up with her in person, she had reached the forbidden forest. Keeping his distance, he resolved to stay with her for the entire night, hidden, even though she would probably be more than a little unhappy if she knew.

Once they were deep within the forest, she stopped and nervously waited sitting against a tree, and Severus thought that she seemed far more nervous than usual. Selfishly attesting her demeanour to his apparent absence, he hid behind a nearby tree, keeping his distance despite the invisibility cloak. Her transformation was just as terrible as he remembered, and he forced himself to look away, respecting her privacy as best he could. When it was over, he looked towards her, but something was wrong. Something must have gone terribly wrong with Hannah's potion because the beautiful black wolf with the shining emerald eyes was growling savagely and sniffing the air. He immediately felt immensely guilty – she must have been in no condition to brew it the night of their argument, or even forgotten completely. After sniffing the air for a few seconds, she looked right at him. She must have smelled his presence – something he had completely forgotten about in his desperation to see her. Even conscious, she would have known he was there, and he paled as he realised there would be no hiding from her, and he couldn't return to the castle without her following him.

Growling angrily, but looking around in confusion, she slowly walked towards his hiding place. Severus remained rooted to the spot, not yet wanting to give away his exact location and desperately trying the think of a way out. He didn't need to. She stopped about a metre away from him before snarling aggressively and wandering off angrily in another direction. Cautiously, he followed her, and she repeated this strange behaviour several times. Perhaps it was just because she couldn't see him, he thought, and morbid curiosity made him tentatively remove her invisibility cloak. Her behaviour didn't change. The wolf, close enough to touch, would sniff at him, growl and leave. It seemed to be an impossibility, and he wondered, despite knowing it was impossible, whether some part of her recognised him. Perhaps the wolf understood that he was its mate, and that's why she refused to attack him. But, whatever the reason it proved to be an adequate distraction, and it was easy enough to follow her and keep her confused for the entire night. It seemed she _wanted_ to prey upon him, but as she reached him, she would come to her senses and hunt elsewhere. At least she wasn't hurting herself this time, he thought.

By the time she calmed down and was obviously about to change back into her human form, they were quite far away from where she had left her spare clothes. Deciding he had kept her cloak for long enough, Severus left it in view nearby as she transformed back. Not quite ready to return it and not wanting to lose a way of keeping an eye on her, he held onto the map and made a hasty retreat back to the castle. She would know he had been there, but he was far too tired to care. Reaching his quarters feeling exhausted, he clumsily hung up his cloak and frowned as he saw something fall out of his pocket. Bending down to retrieve the item, he realised it was a single dried wolfsbane flower. He must have forgotten about it one day when they had been preparing her potion together, and he immediately felt foolish. He shook his head at the idea that she could have recognised him. The wolf had obviously smelt the poisonous flower and avoided him for that purpose alone. _Sentimental old fool_ , he reminded himself. Of course, she hadn't recognised him. He was only uninjured and uninfected because of a simple, poisonous flower. Love had nothing to do with it. Frowning in disappointment, and wondering how on earth he was going to be able to teach in three hours, Severus headed to bed hoping to get a short nap but knowing his mind was far too loud to be getting any rest.

HP

After several moments of confusion, Hannah looked around the cold, bleak forest trying to get her bearings. A wave of relief washed over her as she realised that she must have remained in the forest for the entire night, but her happiness was short lived. She couldn't see any of her clothes, but a familiar sight caught her eye. Her invisibility cloak had been left under the nearest tree, and while she was grateful to not have to wander around the forest completely naked, she knew that Snape must have been there. Angry and embarrassed at the fact that he had been creepily watching her underneath the cloak, Hannah put on her cloak and headed to where she had left her clothes. There was no doubt in her mind now that Snape knew she hadn't taken her potion, and she was angry that he had put himself in harm's way. But then new thoughts entered her mind. Was he alright? Had she attacked him? Heading back to the castle as quickly as she could in her tired and achy state, she briefly headed towards his quarters before hesitating. A brief point me spell told her that he was in his rooms, and she decided that he must be alright if he'd returned to his chambers. Changing her mind, she headed to Gryffindor tower to get some much-needed rest.

Hannah slept through most of the day and only awoke in time for their evening meal. Quickly dressing and heading down to the Great Hall, Hannah hoped she would see him there. Sitting at her usual spot with Ron and Hermione, Hannah looked towards Snape's usual seat by Professor McGonagall and saw that he appeared to be safe and well, despite looking more than a little tired.

"Are you alright Hannah? Did you and Snape have an argument?" Ginny asked. Distracted, she hadn't noticed her. Not having the energy to hold a grudge against more than one person at a time in her fragile state of mind, she thought it best to remain polite.

"Oh, something like that. I'm sure everything will be back to normal soon though." Ginny smiled brightly.

"I hope so." Ginny's change of character seemed strange, but Hannah simply didn't have the energy to dwell on it too much. Feeling thirsty and realising that it had been nearly a whole day since she had drunk anything – at least consciously, she thought wryly, Hannah took a deep drink of her pumpkin juice. Frowning at the strange taste, she sniffed it wondering if it had somehow gone off. It was definitely pumpkin juice, but the smell was wrong. Somehow it smelled of Severus…but how was that possible? It was pumpkin juice, but it smelled of old trees, and it reminded her of the frost that forms on plants on a crisp cold morning. Panicking, she tilted the goblet to find that the liquid had a strange sheen – like the inside of a seashell, and to her horror, she realised what the liquid was. Amortentia. Someone had given her amortentia, and she didn't have much time before she would be under its effects. She stood up and looked around the room already feeling disoriented. Someone was talking, but she couldn't focus her mind on it. She knew she desperately needed to find Severus, and she looked around trying to see him, but he seemed to have completely vanished. Stepping a few steps away from the table, she rubbed her head. Her mind was getting clearer and she knew with certainty that she didn't need Severus at all. In fact, she could barely even recall his face. It was beautiful, glorious, perfect Ginny she needed, not Severus. Tears began to stream down her face as she turned towards her love, and all she could do was hope that she would take her back.


	15. Amortentia

Chapter Fifteen

Amortentia

Despite knowing he probably had the best part of another century of life left to endure, Severus Snape felt like he was getting far too old for this. He was utterly exhausted, mentally and physically. Pulling all-nighters was the past-time of students and spies, and thankfully, he was no longer either. Nevertheless, it was a small price to pay for making sure Hannah had been distracted and kept out of harm's way all night. What she was thinking when she decided to go out into the forest instead of the Room of Requirement he couldn't decipher. He shook his head and looked over at her to find her staring at him from across the room. She looked tired, but otherwise well, and Severus wondered if she was making the same assessment about him. Despite his exhaustion, all the wanted to do was hold her and show her just how much he loved her, and he missed her comforting, gentle touch much more than he'd care to admit.

After ensuring that Hannah had turned up for dinner in the Great Hall, Severus decided to return to his chambers to get some much-needed rest. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her and try and explain himself now they had both calmed down, but he was simply far too exhausted to be coherent after an all-nighter and a day filled with the monotony of school teaching. After informing Cliodna that no-one other than Hannah was to be admitted to his quarters until morning, Severus climbed into bed, exhaustion prompting an unwillingly quick descent into slumber.

Breakfast the following morning was a strange affair. Edgar had once again decided to favour him over Hannah, but this time, it seemed there was an obvious reason. This time, Hannah obviously could care less about her loyal, albeit unpredictable feathered friend. Looking across the room, he stared at Hannah in disbelief. She was sat with her head tilted, resting it on her clasped hands, with her elbows supporting her on the table and staring at Ginny dreamily. Something was off. As far as he could recall, Hannah and Ginny hadn't been on the best of terms since the beginning of the year, perhaps even since they stopped dating. He'd completely neglected to ask about the relationship, not thinking it overly important. It was something he now regretted because Hannah was looking at Ginny in a way that screamed infatuation. He sneered at her, disgusted that she could move on so quickly – less than a week had passed since their argument, and she was already gawping at this… _child_ as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world. As if to deliberately mock him in front of him and the rest of the school, Hannah began to stroke Ginny's arm affectionately and proceeded to lock lips with her. Not wanting to witness anymore, Severus angrily got up and strode out of the hall, but not before noticing Hermione make some kind of gesture to him with her hands, something that indicated drinking perhaps, but he was far too irritated to take any notice. Did Hannah think so little of him? Maybe he'd misread her. Maybe she really was too young to love him as strongly as she had proclaimed and Severus' heart ached painfully at the thought that perhaps her teenage, hormone-addled brain had already moved on, leaving him to wallow in self-pity and despair at his loss. He'd be hardly surprised if she had finally decided his past was too dark and unforgivable to push aside, not to mention his age. He was mad even to have attempted such a relationship, and he felt guilty for the nights of passion they'd spent together at the cottage. Guilty, but not regretful. If she now gave her affection to another, at least he'd have those nights to remember.

The day was passing unbearably slowly. As ever, Hannah was _all_ he could think about, and he'd found himself unable to prevent himself from snapping harshly at his students, making at least three first years cry by lunchtime. He thought back at all of their conversations, and he was convinced that she hadn't been lying. He was in a jealous rage, he knew that, but why? Why would she be sticking her tongue down Ginny's throat in the middle of the Great Hall? She must love him back, nobody had ever looked at him like she had over the past few months. Her bright smiles and sarcastic sniggers had brought him joy every day. Somehow he convinced himself that she was doing it to punish him, and he decided that if this was how she was going to do it, he had already suffered enough. He'd skip lunch, he thought. He didn't need to watch any more grotesque public displays of affection, not to mention Minerva had likely noticed and would probably question him about their relationship.

He'd just settled down to his marking during his neglected lunch break when he heard a knock at the door. He'd ignore it, he wasn't in the mood for visitors. Whoever it was continued to knock until giving up and rudely invading his classroom without being invited. Hermione Granger angrily barged through the door, marched up to his desk and scowled at him, and he gave her the best disgusted sneer he could muster in his depressive state.

"I'm in no mood to answer foolish questions, Miss Granger. Kindly get out."

"Are you seriously that stupid?!" She barked while folding her arms and glaring at him. He considered for a moment. Yes, probably. He'd certainly made enough mistakes for a lifetime.

"Probably, Miss Granger. As I recall, _you're_ the know-it-all, not me."

"Look are you going to help us sort this out or not?" No. Whatever Miss Granger wanted from him, it was not his problem.

"No. If that's all?"

"I never thought you were that cruel! Fine. I'll brew it myself!" Brew _what_? He thought, but if he was curious, he was too late in questioning her. She had already stormed out of the room.

His mood only turned even more sour when his last lesson arrived. Hannah and the rest of the seventh and eighth years had settled down in their usual seats, or at least most of them had. Hannah and Ginny entered the room together, holding hands and finding seats together. To his dismay, Hannah hadn't even looked at him. Her eyes were all Ginny's, and after sitting, she kissed Ginny's hand, and then her cheek, still gazing at her dreamily. Ginny looked less pleased with the situation now, and he looked over at Ron and Hermione who were watching their friend as if to make sure nothing serious was about to happen. He certainly wasn't going to entertain the idea of watching them fawn all over each other in his own classroom, and he angrily snapped at Ginny.

"Miss Weasley! To the front of the class!" Ginny got up, looking shame-faced and Hannah made to follow her. "No, not you Ha…Potter. You can stay there!" Ginny had the unenviable task of separating herself from Hannah, and something clicked in his mind. Hannah had started to cry and was begging him not to separate them, to the amusement and confusion of the entire class. Everything made sense now. He looked over at Hermione who pointed at Ginny and made the drinking gesture again. He nodded at her, this time in understanding. Now he knew why her behaviour had been so odd, his old friend guilt came knocking. Some potion master! He should have known instantly, and yet, seven hours had passed since he saw her in the Great Hall.

After reminding his students that they only had about a month left until the exam period began, he set them a practice written exam to compete. He decided it best not to set Hannah loose with spells while she'd undoubtedly be unable to distract herself from the effects of the Amortentia.

Watching her now gave him some amusement. She was brushing the tail of her quill against her lips, while swaying her head from side to side, still gazing at Ginny. He'd have to put her out of her misery soon, he thought with amusement, though he feared her reaction. She would not be pleased, and he was admittedly concerned as to what could have happened over the past few hours. The Weasley girls general demeanour hinted that she already regretted her actions, and it appeared she had already tired of Hannah's attentions. Glaring at the girl, he decided he'd have to find some special way to punish her. Perhaps he could make her prepare fertilising potions every weekend until the end of school. He always found some unlucky, unruly student to make them and Merlin knew he wasn't going to do it.

When the lesson finally ended, Severus asked Hannah to stay behind. Hermione had to grab her hand to prevent her from following Ginny, who Ron closely followed out of the room. Ginny had looked back guiltily and nervously at the three remaining in the classroom and Severus vowed to ensure she got an apt punishment for her deeds.

"Why can't I go with Ginny?" Hannah asked pitifully.

"Walk and talk Miss Granger. When?" He asked while grabbing Hannah hand and gently pulling her along.

"At dinner last night! We didn't know what was wrong until we had returned to the tower. It's been awful, and completely against everything she wants. Ginny has been absolutely disgusting, playing along with her until the last two lessons. I don't think she meant for it to be this strong, she only had one dose! I went to your rooms last night, but Cliodna wouldn't let me in, and _then_ you kicked me out of your office. I thought you were just being…you know, after your fight." A git, he thought sighing in exasperation. He hadn't realised it had been _that_ long. Poor Hannah. "It was really exceptionally selfish of her. Do you think she did it knowing she'd be tired and hungry after last night?"

"More than likely. It seems too much of a coincidence. Has she eaten anything today?"

"Not that I've noticed. I don't think she's been able to look away from Ginny for long enough, to be honest."

"Why did you separate us? Can we go and see her? I miss her."

"Of course we can, Hannah, but we need to do something first. Then, if you still want to, we can go and find her." He said, trying to reassure her and attempting not to concentrate on her soft hand in his as his thumb brushed affectionately over the back of her hand.

"What do we have to do first?"

"Professor Snape is going to help you prepare, aren't you Professor?"

"Prepare for what?" Hannah asked.

"Professor Snape conducts wedding ceremonies. Didn't you say you were going to ask Ginny to marry you? Severus rolled his eyes, wedding ceremonies indeed! Even he found the mental image of him marrying people off mildly amusing. Thanks to Hermione, the seed of an idea was forming in his mind, but he buried it, unwilling to give it credence just yet.

"It's a simple enough potion, why didn't you cure her?" He asked angrily.

"Because the school's supplies are out of Gurdyroot!" Huffing, Severus shook his head. Uninventive. There were plenty of alternatives she could have used, and nothing had stopped the golden trio rooting through his stores before. Though he had to admit, this was the perfect opportunity to talk to her. "And…we thought…it would be better if you cured her." Finally, something he agreed with.

As they entered the potions classroom, Severus dismissed Hermione, assuring her that he would take good care of Hannah. It would only take a few minutes to create the antidote, and he wanted to be alone with her when she drank it. Distracting Hannah was an easy enough task, he simply told to her to sit down and imagine her wedding day. She happily sat still, clearly daydreaming while he prepared the antidote as quickly as he could. When it was completed, he handed it to her.

"What's this?" She asked.

"To clear your head. Drink it, then we can go and see Ginny if you like." Apparently eager at the prospect of seeing Ginny, Severus watched as Hannah drank the potion, and he smiled at her sympathetically as her features revealed the return of her senses.

HP

Her mind clearing, Hannah looked up at Severus. He was smiling apologetically at her, though she could sense some amusement in his demeanour. She felt awful. Physically awful, but she also felt guilty for her behaviour. She could remember everything that happened, though the memories were hazy. Severus had witnessed her kissing and amorously longing after someone else, and she was about to apologise to him, but then the anger hit her. Ginny had dosed her with a love potion.

"That stupid, selfish, self-absorbed bitch!"

"Do _try_ and stay calm. How are you feeling?" Taking a few moments to calm herself and collect her thoughts, Hannah buried her face in her hands. She felt ashamed and embarrassed, not to mention…

"Violated," she whispered. "And betrayed, embarrassed, angry…I'm so sorry." She heard him sigh, and after hearing some footsteps, she felt his hands gently pry her fingers and hands away from her face.

"Nothing that happened was your fault, it was a love potion, you know that."

"I know…I just feel…I think I just need something _real_ right now." Shuddering with anger and trying not to become overemotional, she leant into him, and he wrapped his arms around her comfortingly.

"I've got to admit, I've been in a jealous rage all day…I was scared you'd…" Hannah looked up at him aghast. Surely he didn't think she'd just forget about him? She knew they'd argued, and she was still angry with him, but he must know she loved him?

"Severus…I could only ever love you. I'm still very angry with you, but you must have known something was up?"

"I didn't exactly stay to watch this morning…it wasn't until I saw you up close in our lesson that I realised. I'm sorry, I could have saved you from nearly a day of…"

"Amorously advancing on Ginny…well you get points for irony, _potions master_!" He was tenderly drawing patterns on her back as he held her, and Hannah had to admit, even though it had only been a few days, she had missed him. Being with him made her feel at home. He didn't say anything, but he brushed his lips against her neck. She'd missed that too, and now she knew just how different it was being with someone you loved, compared to someone you didn't.

"Ginny's a terrible kisser," she blurted out embarrassingly, and Severus chuckled at her, before looking slightly worried.

"She didn't…take it any further than that did she?" Hannah shook her head, but she promptly went scarlet.

"No, but…Ron and Hermione had to drag me away from her last night. I wanted to stay in her room...it was a strange feeling. I was still in there, sort of, but the only thing I could think about was her. I tried to find you as soon as I noticed my drink tasted off and saw how weird it looked. You'd left, and then it was too late."

"Yes…I only went to the Great Hall to make sure you were alright after the full moon last night." She had been angry about his following her too, but now, being held lovingly in his arms, she was losing the will to stay angry with him. "But you are alright, and you're here," the words were whispered as if to himself, and he trailed kisses up her neck to her cheek before kissing her lightly on the lips, almost as if he was asking for permission. Completely unable to resist him, she kissed him back, and he pulled her firmly against him. The truth of her earlier words hit her, and Hannah realised that she would only ever love him. But she also knew that she needed some time. Time to come to terms with everything he had been, and everything he was. She was also still angry with him, and he hadn't apologised yet either. Reluctantly, she made to remove herself from him.

"I…are you going to apologise? For what happened last week?" He looked confused, and she already knew the answer.

"I can apologise if that's what you need…but I don't regret protecting you. Everything I've done…all I wanted was to save you." His final words melted her heart, but he had to understand that she was capable of fighting her own battles. Not to mention the fact that her battles didn't generally involve torturing people. While she was glad the lines of communication had been opened once more, she wasn't willing to just let it go just get.

"Severus, I…We both need some time to think. I'm trying to understand, but I just…I need to come to terms with who you really are. I fell in love with a version of you that's not you and…" She couldn't figure out a way to articulate what she was trying to say, and he embraced her again.

"You want some space to think for a while?" Astute as ever, she smiled sadly as he vocalised what she couldn't.

"Yeah, but I promise…only for a while. I won't be able to resist pestering you for long." He started kissing her neck again, and he held her against him seductively.

"You're sure?" He whispered, before migrating his kisses to her jaw and cheek. Hannah nodded reluctantly, but he was relentless, and he kissed her far too responsive lips before whispering;

"Even now?"

" _Yes._ Please, Severus, trust me on this. Give me a few weeks, and you can have the rest of my life." She felt him smile against her neck and they held each other for a few moments.

"I'm going to hold you to that…" Smiling wistfully, she separated herself from him and headed towards the door.

"Hannah?"

"Yeah?"

"What did it smell like to you? The Amortentia?" She shook her head, you obviously, she thought. Perhaps not him specifically, but things that reminded her of him.

"An old wood, and…I dunno, frost maybe? Like early on a frosty morning when everything is sort of fresh and new…it's strange, the last time it smelled like treacle tart…perhaps it's because…you know…that morning in the woods where you shamelessly took advantage of me, and I realised you weren't so bad." She said it jokingly, but he didn't laugh. Instead, he studied her face for a few moments and looked as if he was contemplating something. "Why? What does it smell like to you?"

"I'll let you know, it's been a few years. I suspect things have changed. For me…" He paused, and she suspected he didn't particularly want to share the information. "It used to be almost an exact replica of The Draught of Living Death. I'd prefer you not dwell on that too much. Don't forget to take your potion. If you need anything…whenever you're ready…I'll be waiting." Despite his reassurances, she felt her face fall as she considered the implication. Was he truly saying that Amortentia used to remind him of a potion that would allow you to sleep indefinitely? She hoped that he didn't see life as unliveable as he had in the past, and she vainly hoped that she'd made him happy these last few months – at least until their argument.

"Don't worry, I won't forget. I'll see you Monday for class…and...let me know how you're going to punish Ginny okay?" He smiled wickedly at her, and Hannah almost felt pity for Ginny. _Almost._

"Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate!"


	16. Lux Tenebris

Chapter Sixteen

Lux tenebris

Hannah returned to Gryffindor tower feeling immensely relieved, and more importantly _sane_. Ron and Hermione were relieved to see the return of her senses, and she thanked them profusely for keeping an eye on her while she was under the effects of the Amortentia. It was an embarrassing and humiliating experience she had no desire to repeat, and she had a feeling paranoia would take over ensuring that she would be examining every item of food and drink for a while. Ginny had apparently immediately retreated to her dormitory and refused to show her face for the rest of the day, and Ron had given her a stern lecture about the importance of family, friendship, and loyalty. She knew it wasn't her fault, but the whole episode made her feel extremely uncomfortable, and it was a few days before she could look her classmates in the eyes. Most of them were too foolish to have realised she had been under the effects of a potion, rather than simply throwing herself at her former girlfriend. She knew that soon enough everything would be forgotten about, and it would simply be another event in her strange, unpredictable life.

Their next Defence lesson was a far more relaxed affair than the previous one. Severus got them practising their defensive arsenal ready for their exams, but there was no uneasiness between them, and though little more than a few glances and small smiles had passed between them, there was no tension between them, and he had calmly instructed the class as Severus, not Snape. Towards the end of the lesson, he had approached her and asked her to stay behind. Ginny was also told to remain, though he had sneered at her and barked the order, completely unlike the gentle tone he had used with Hannah. When the class was over, and the other students had left, Hannah approached his desk. He was casually leaning against it, looking far too happy for someone she expected to be about to dish out detention. Ginny remained as instructed, but kept her distance, looking nervously between them, clearly wondering if they were conspiring against her.

"Miss Weasley. As you are no doubt aware, I cannot in good conscience allow your actions last week to remain unpunished. As the injured party, Hannah will determine your punishment." She'd had an inkling that was why he asked them to remain. Amused, Hannah turned to look at Ginny, still nervously looking at them.

"What did you have in mind, Severus?" She asked. He had a wicked glint in his eye, and Hannah knew that he had a cruel and unusual punishment to suggest.

"I have two options in mind if you're amenable. She _could_ simply brew fertiliser potions, a simple but unpleasant affair. Or, she could sample a taste of her own medicine, so to speak. I suggest that she brew another batch of Amortentia and drink the product of her efforts herself." Hannah was unable to stifle a laugh at the thought of Ginny spending a day or two completely infatuated with herself, but could she be that cruel? Ginny had gone positively green, and Hannah fully expected her to claim unfairness or the breaking of punishment rules, but to her credit, she remained quiet. Hannah thought it over for a few moments. While the thought of Ginny wondering around the forest collecting hippogriff and thestral dung before having to brew with it was amusing, ultimately, she thought the punishment should fit the crime. Perhaps she was sinking to Ginny's level of maturity, but she couldn't resist Severus' offer.

"I think that…a taste of her own medicine might persuade her not to interfere with other people's love lives again. Sorry Ginny, but well…at least you don't have to deal with dung right?" And I don't have to smell it in the common room later, she thought to herself. Ginny merely nodded, and it seemed even she knew that she had crossed the line.

"Hannah…I know I went too far…do you think we can be friends again?" Hannah rolled her eyes and nodded. In the end, Ginny was Ron's sister, and the Wesley's were like family to her. It would make for an easier life just to put the whole thing behind her. _After_ her revenge of course.

"Well then, Miss Weasley, you can report to my office immediately after your classes. The quicker it's over with, the better. I have no desire to spend all night watching you brew, so I suggest you revise the recipe. Remember, its effects can be even more alarming if brewed incorrectly!" Ginny sulkily left the room without another word, and Hannah and Severus were left alone in the room, standing awkwardly in silence for a few moments. Knowing she wasn't ready for them to return to normal yet, but still finding it hard to resist spending time with him anyway, Hannah awkwardly bit her lip.

"Thanks, Severus. I guess I'll see you next lesson then." Severus merely nodded, but just as she reached the door, he called out to her.

"Hannah?" She returned her gaze to him, and he had folded his arms defensively. "I also detect old trees, but with a hint of our old favourite – fire whisky. The woods, and warmth. Fitting, don't you think?" She paused and stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Perfectly," she replied with a smile just before she left the room.

Severus must have ensured that Ginny completed and drank her potion as quickly as possible, because Ginny was present at dinner, though Severus had escorted her to the hall. She was carrying a large hand mirror and staring at herself animatedly, almost tripping twice before taking a seat next to Hannah, Ron, and Hermione. Hannah had been worried that Hermione might disapprove of her choice, but to her surprise, Hermione had smirked at the news. Ginny spent the entire meal gazing at herself and stroking her own hair and face, much to their amusement. Sniggering, Ron asked her if she saw something she liked.

"Oh, yes, I am indeed beautiful! Sometimes I sit and wonder why it is that I am so much more attractive than anybody else in the whole world. Can this be vanity? No! Nature is lovely and rejoices in her loveliness. I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother." Their nearby fellow students sniggered, either in disagreement, amusement or both. _Oh dear_ , Hannah thought, wondering how long Ginny would be under its effects. Perhaps she'd take mercy on her and ask Severus for the antidote if its effects continued until the following evening. "Oh, Hannah look at me. Am I not the most beautiful creature you have ever seen?" Her behaviour was reminiscent of Lockheart, and amusing though it was if it went on for too long her narcissism would get old fast. Luckily for Ginny, the effects wore off at around lunchtime the following day, and she spent the rest of the afternoon apologising and creeping up to Hannah after experiencing how strong the effects were and her fellow student's mockery of her behaviour.

Hannah spent the following few weeks thinking about her and Severus' relationship and his character. Ron and Hermione had been curious that she hadn't wanted to resume their relationship right away, and Hermione was eager to talk about it. While she had been initially sceptical, it was clear to Hannah that Hermione now fully approved of their relationship and was just as impatient for them to get back to normal as she was. Hermione insisted that in the end, their characters balanced out, and was firmly in the belief that they were a good match for one another. After a couple of weeks thinking, Hannah concluded that Severus was a good man and that the continuing survival of his particular brand of darkness was a result of his love for her, something someone like Voldemort would never have understood. Hermione had so poignantly reminded her that everything had to be seen in perspective and that there was light and dark within everyone. What mattered was how it manifested, and hadn't Severus been using the dark side of his nature ultimately for good, for years, without regressing? Hannah knew he'd never return to the ideas and life he had as a Death Eater, but she also became aware that really, she knew very little about that aspect of his life and she became determined to start asking questions. Perhaps that was what had disturbed her really, that she had known in the back of her mind, and hadn't questioned it. It made her feel like a bad person – like she didn't care. Hannah's mind had started to settle and become resolute to the fact that she loved him, despite anything that had happened in the past. She would love him as he truly was. Hadn't he already done the same for her?

Hannah's mind had thankfully been kept occupied with the necessity of study and spell work for her exams. April had already drawn to a close, and the beginning of May signified that in four short weeks, their exams would begin. While she felt confident that she would pass everything, Severus' extraordinary knowledge in, well, _everything_ was intimidating. While Hannah was not naturally inclined to the practice and patience required for academic prowess, she was determined to do well and not make a fool of herself, and she felt that she would be somehow letting Severus down if she didn't put the effort in. While she didn't really talk to him, she saw him in their lessons. Many curious and longing glances, sometimes even outright stares had been thrown in her direction, and he occasionally found an excuse to touch her hand or her shoulder. She was seriously beginning to miss him now, and there were times when all she wanted to do was run back into his arms. She found herself unable to look away most of the time, and her mind often wandered to the experiences they had shared at the cottage, but he had kept his promise and given her the time and space she had asked for. Soon, Hannah resolved, it would be time to return and ask her questions. With the full moon now just around the corner, she decided to return to him just after it had passed, almost as if she was testing whether he'd leave her alone for one single transformation. Plus, she decided that wandering the forbidden forest as a wolf had the potential to be an adventure, seeing as she would be conscious this time.

Three weeks after her last transformation, Hannah awoke to the soft red glow of the orb Hermione had given her. Thankfully, this month she had been organised, and everything was prepared for her to make her first potion tonight in the potions room. As she sat with Ron and Hermione at breakfast, Edgar swooped down and landed on her shoulder making her jump.

"Jeez, Edgar…I've already told you _, swooping is bad!_ " Fluffing his feathers pompously and completely ignoring her admonishment, he drew her attention to the note and small package he was carrying. Hannah took the note and read it.

The package contains a potion of my own invention.

It should restore your appetite to normal.

Take one teaspoon an hour after you consume the Wolfsbane every night.

It was a thoughtful gesture, and she was grateful that he had kept his promise to find a solution, but in the back of her mind Hannah couldn't help but wonder if Severus was trying to beef up her scrawny body. Probably, she thought, thinking she was self-conscious about it enough without him reminding her about it. Though she had to admit, regaining the weight she had lost during the war had become impossible when she barely ate for a week every month. Looking towards him, she smiled appreciatively, and he smiled warmly back.

Hannah successfully made her potion that night and followed Severus' instructions, taking a teaspoon an hour after the Wolfsbane. It had been a lonely process brewing by herself, and she desperately missed his company, but she began to feel as if she understood the appeal of brewing away in contemplative silence. The following morning, it was clear that whatever he had made, it worked. Hannah felt ravenous and managed to eat considerably more than usual, even seemingly competing against Ron's oversized breakfast, and she was glad that she'd be spared the pain of having to request steak from the kitchens again. She caught Severus looking at her amusedly with his eyebrow raised, but she just rolled her eyes. She'd have plenty of time to thank him later, she thought.

On the night of the full moon, Hannah put on her cloak and headed out deep into the forbidden forest. Her metamorphoses was just as painful and tiring as usual, and she soon regretted her decision to go out into the woods alone. After all, none of the species that inhabited it were going to come near her, and without the magical creatures, a forest was just a forest. She swore that she heard the howl of another of her kind, though it could easily be one of the werewolf pups that Dumbledore allowed to be released. At least she could see better in the dark, Hannah thought. Even with thick fur, it was cold and chilly, but there were benefits to being outdoors in the middle of the night. Looking up she could see the stars shining brightly despite the full moon, and she sat watching them for a while not really thinking about anything. It was difficult to keep time, but several hours must have passed before Hannah smelled the familiar smell that was Severus. Irritated that he couldn't go one night without following her, she debated leaving the area, but something within her made her stay. Within a few minutes, she saw him come into view and made eye contact with him. He cautiously raised his wand at her.

" _Really, Severus, I'm perfectly capable of spending one full moon alone! How did you know where I was anyway?"_ She'd been avoiding talking with him through her mind since the day she'd gotten lost in his memories and witnessed a memory of him with someone else, but the ability came back naturally her, and it now felt like the most natural way to communicate. The _only_ way at the moment, she reminded herself. Severus looked stressed but relieved to see her, and she realised something was up before he even opened his mouth.

"Fenrir Greyback is here, in the forest. Both of your names appear on that map of yours on and off, I was worried. We both know he doesn't have the inkling to take the Wolfsbane potion, and I didn't want you to come across him. Who knows what would happen if he got to the castle. We should return to the school and inform the authorities, so they can deal with him." Hannah stood in stunned silence staring up at him. She had known he had evaded capture, but for him to be wandering the forest so close to the school…was he planning something? "Hannah?"

" _Do you think we'd be able to apprehend him? You've fought me off as a wolf right? He needs to be captured and trialled…he's killed so many people, and infected more."_ Severus shook his head and scowled worriedly, he clearly wasn't pleased with this suggestion.

"That's not our job! I'm a teacher, you're a student. We should return to the castle! If he gets whiff of either of us, he'll attack me, and who knows how he'll react to you!"

" _Oh please, I have no intention of allowing him near you…I'm currently a wolf too. I bet we'd make a great team! You can curse him as I keep him distracted!_ "

"Hannah! He's a great deal more experienced than you, and you have no experience to speak of in this form – you're a bloody wolf! He's bigger, stronger, much more aggressive…"

" _Yes, but we have something he doesn't. Tactics. Right now he's just a wolf. Savage, yes, but right now he's governed solely by his instincts. We might not get another chance, Severus. What if he attacked Mathilda? That would make him…it would be his fault…"_ Severus shook his head, looking desperate and he crouched down to put his hand on her shoulder, stroking her fur comfortingly.

"Hannah, please. Don't try and blackmail me. We can get help and return at dawn when he's weak – he won't be _able_ to fight then, as you know… these impulsive decisions of yours rarely end well." She knew he was right, but she growled and glared at him while she responded.

" _Fine_. _Slinking away like the Slytherin you are…if anyone reacts poorly, or if there's a mass panic due to me wandering around the castle, I'm letting you deal with it!_ " She heard him sigh with relief as she began walking back towards the castle.

"Better to slink off, than to charge in without thinking…like you usually do…" He grumbled. Perhaps, Hannah thought, though she'd love to be the one to catch Fenrir. Especially as a werewolf herself, at least she'd get points for irony. Severus quickly caught up with her, and they walked side by side towards the castle.

Hagrid's hut had just come into view as the wind changed, and Hannah smelled something new and yet familiar in the air. Something about it screamed danger, and she stopped and turned to look. Her ears prickled and turned as she heard rustling in the distance, too far away for human ears, and she growled to get Severus' attention. Being a clever man, he stopped, turned and waited in silence with his wand raised. It seemed that despite her desire to conform to Severus' wishes to return to the safety of the castle, fate had dealt them another hand. Her keen ears and sense of smell told her that he was far too close for comfort. Their trail had led him directly to the school, and now they would have no choice but to fight him. She could hear him approach, but when he came into sight, and she saw him glare at Severus in a predatory manner, something snapped inside her and without thinking she was charging towards him. It was like instinct had taken over and all she could think about was fighting him to keep him away from Severus.

Instantly they were snapping, snarling and tearing at each other, battling for domination. She didn't know how long it went on for, and Fenrir obviously only saw her as a distraction because he kept trying to get closer to Severus, only making her even more savage. He _was_ much bigger than her, and he kept managing to fight her off. But it didn't matter, nothing could make her stop her assault on him, and she wasn't going to give up. She didn't notice as Severus threw curses at him, and she didn't even really notice the deep wounds that Fenrir had given her. She certainly didn't notice Severus' voice calling out to her until several of his curses had rendered their attacker unconscious and bound. She was still savagely biting at his neck as if she was just as unthinking as the unconscious wolf in her clutches when she finally felt a tentative human hand on the back of her neck.

"Hannah…you can stop now. He's unconscious – you don't want to kill him do you?" Severus said softly. But she _did_ want to kill him, and she growled angrily at the suggestion she didn't.

"Calm down." He said firmly. "Azkaban would be a far more fitting punishment, don't you think? Let go, and look at me." Ignoring the instinct telling her not to let go until her prey was utterly defeated, Hannah reluctantly released her victim and looked over at Severus. Couching next to her, his dark eyes looked fearful, and it was with shame that she discovered he was afraid of her. The feeling brought her back to her senses somewhat, and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself.

" _I'm sorry…I…it was like the wolf took over and…"_ _All I wanted was to save you._ She omitted it, but she realised that Severus had said it to her a few weeks ago, and the truth of the words hit home. He ran his hand through her fur, comforting her, and she had no idea how he could trust her at this moment. He must have been either very brave or very stupid to have distracted her by touch.

"I know, it's _alright._ I'm more disturbed that you ran off like that, but it got the job done, and I suppose you got your wish. It appears we need to inform the Headmistress of our guest. I'm sure suitable _accommodation_ can be arranged." After sending his Patronus to wake Minerva, he stood up and levitated Fenrir in front of them. "You're injured, but I'm afraid we'll have to wait until you change back to heal you…" Surveying herself, she had a sizeable chunk bitten out of her leg, and she'd been scratched and knawed at all over. She was covered in blood too, and she dared not imagine what Severus was thinking of her current state. Dreading what she would feel like in the morning, Hannah limped alongside him back to the castle, thinking frantically. He set a slow pace for her and would occasionally throw concerned glances her way.

She understood him now. She had been completely unable to prevent herself from losing control. She'd wanted Fenrir dead, and would never have stopped her assault if it wasn't for Severus. While Severus admittedly was completely human when he'd attacked Gregory, and Fenrir was a much greater threat, essentially, they were the same. When it came down to it, she, Hannah Potter could be just as callous as he could. Hermione had been right, there was darkness in everyone, but what mattered was how it manifested. Both of them had lashed out in anger and hatred because someone they loved had been threatened. Even love had a darker side to its nature, but Hannah knew that the brightness created from it far outweighed its shadow.

The few hours before dawn passed strangely for Hannah. She was tired and in pain and everyone other than Severus seemed to be afraid of her. Severus had taken her straight to the hospital wing, where they could wait for Professor McGonagall to arrive in relative seclusion. She had to admit, despite the late hour, the Aurors arrived quickly and efficiently once the Headmistress had informed them that Fenrir Greyback had been caught in the forbidden forest, but they had all scrutinised her presence making her feel like a criminal, just because it was the full moon. One of them had even seriously asked if _she_ was to be collected too, earning a sneer from Severus as he stood by her protectively. Once they had been informed of her identity, however, they were all far too happy to see her. By the time they had left, carting Fenrir behind them in an unfortunate looking human-sized metal cage, it was nearly dawn, and it was too risky to travel to the dungeons. She'd rather not be transforming in the corridors where anyone could see, or start the transformation within the floo network, so she waited a few more minutes with Severus in the hospital wing for her return to her human form.

Of course, the commotion had caught Madam Pomfrey's attention, and she had ended up looking over Hannah and tutting about how she needed healing all over her body, and how she was always getting herself into trouble. Poppy, it seemed was the only human other than Severus that didn't give her a wide berth. Severus had assured her that he could cope with any healing and tried to send her to bed, but the woman was adamant that it would be inappropriate for a man to heal her. It was a comment that drew a small, albeit unwilling apologetic smirk that Severus flashed Hannah's way. How little she knew, Hannah thought. She prayed that Severus would heal her himself because she had absolutely no desire for Madam Pomfrey to see her starkers when she transformed back.

When the sun began to rise, Severus drew the curtain around Hannah's bed and allowed her to change back in privacy. She had been in far too much pain to stand after transforming, but he quickly wrapped her in his cloak and picked her up, sitting down on the edge of the bed with her in his lap. Clutching at his shirt, Hannah leaned into his neck as he cradled her comfortingly.

"I think I understand you now, Severus." She whispered. Laughing darkly, he held her a little tighter.

"Yes, I suspect you do. We'll talk about it later, once you're healed and rested." Hannah suspected that they would have enjoyed a few minutes of simply holding each other if Madam Pomfrey hadn't barged in with a bottle of essence of dittany, scowling at the pair. Hannah drew his cloak around her even tighter in embarrassment.

"You don't have to worry Poppy, I can heal Hannah's wounds. She just needs a few moments to calm down, it's a stressful process, and it's very painful for her. I'm giving her a few minutes before I have to start prodding at her wounds."

"That may be, but it seems hardly appropriate that a male Professor should treat his female student's wounds, especially when said student currently has no clothes!"

"Severus has treated my wounds before. I have no objection to him treating me again Madam Pomfrey. I'll be fine, you don't have to worry." Madam Pomfrey scrutinised them, and it seemed she noticed their closeness for the first time because she looked outraged.

"What in the name of all propriety is going on here? Minerva will hear about this, Severus! She's your _student_! She's…"

"Of age. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your nose out of other people's business, and for your information, Minerva is aware of the situation. I can assure you nothing untoward is going on, and I am perfectly capable of healing spells!" Severus interrupted moodily.

"Honestly, Madam Pomfrey, nothing is going on that we're not _very_ happy with. If it wasn't for Severus…I'd…" _Be dead_ , she thought, one way or the other.

Perhaps knowing a lost cause, she put the bottle of dittany on the bedside cabinet before leaving while muttering something about the perils of youth, and they were finally left to their own devices, several long hours after meeting in the forest.

Feeling exhausted, and eager to get to bed, Hannah disentangled herself from him and sat on the end of the bed while he retrieved the dittany. He knelt in front of her and gingerly held her leg, applying the dittany to her worst wound and she winced as it slowly healed perfectly, faint lines remaining that he traced with his fingers.

"I'm afraid that cloak will have to come off, so I can see. Don't think I'm going to let you keep any memento's this time." He said softly. Hannah groaned in embarrassment, feeling awkward. She knew her body wasn't in the best condition after her battle with Fenrir, and she was absolutely covered in blood.

"I know it's nothing you haven't already seen, I just feel a little vulnerable at the moment. This is the second time you've had to heal me in my Birthday suit, when will I get a turn? Life can be so unfair, you saw me naked months before I got to see you!"

"You don't need to feel vulnerable, it's just me, and you know how much I admire that overly enticing body of yours. If we had been a couple during the war…trust me, you'd have had to heal me plenty of times."

"What, did Madam Pomfrey have to heal you?" He remained silent, perhaps in an attempt to remain dignified. "Ah, man…I know she's a nurse, but it sounds like even she saw you starkers before me…"

He looked up at her amusedly and lifted his eyebrow. "I know what you're doing, stop delaying the inevitable. I can always go and get _her_ to heal you?" She didn't need much more convincing than that, and she reluctantly let his cloak slide down her shoulders. He frowned and tutted as she did so.

"Bloody hell, Hannah, what were you thinking? I couldn't see half of these when you had fur…" He gingerly applied more dittany to the worst of the bite and scratch marks. Despite the situation and the stinging sensation of the dittany, feeling his fingers brushing against her skin felt wonderfully intimate, and she closed her eyes tiredly, appreciating the feeling and the warmth of his hands.

"I'm not sure I was thinking. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wasn't…the only coherent thought in my mind was that I needed to protect you." He paused and stared into her eyes almost unbearably intensely.

"I don't need protecting." He said as he resumed healing her – this time with spells, softly singing the words. His magic was gently tickling her skin and somehow warming her, and it was almost as if she could feel his love emanating from his spells. Perhaps she could, she thought. Healing requires compassion, he'd said.

"I know. But I had to anyway."

"That's exactly how I felt…"

"I know _that_ as well…I'm sorry, Severus."

"What for? Misunderstanding me? For running away last month, or tonight?"

"I dunno. Everything. You're the one that's good with words, not me."

"Hmm. Not at the moment." It seemed he'd finished healing her, and Hannah felt about as healthy as she could just after the full moon. "Did I miss anything that I can't see?" She wriggled her limbs a little, but everything seemed to be in order.

"Nope. You did an excellent job thank you….actually come to think of it you did miss one thing…" She teased. He looked concerned and looked her over as if looking for the phantom wound.

"I require a kiss." He rolled his eyes, but pulled her close and relented to her request. Thoroughly.

"Thank you." She said, not simply meaning for the moment they had just shared.

"You're welcome." Glad to have some protection from the cold, she put on his cloak, but she really didn't want to return to her tower alone.

"Um…can I stay with you?" She asked hopefully.

"Well, I'm not letting you wander off all the way back to Gryffindor tower in just my cloak. After all, I'm hoping that _I'll_ be the only one to appreciate that body of yours in all its naked glory. Come on, we'll use the floo." He said as he led her by the hand to the fireplace.

As soon as they arrived, Severus scooped her up and carried her to bed. Feeling just like she had returned home after a very long day, Hannah quickly fell asleep.

Not waking until early afternoon, Hannah once again awoke alone. Severus must have left to teach, and she felt guilty that he had yet again failed to get the rest he needed because of her. Checking the time, she realised that if she was quick, she'd just catch his lesson. She smiled as she saw he'd left some clothes for her by the bed and she quickly dressed and hurried off to her defence lesson. She arrived just after it had started and Severus paused to allow her to sit down, without making any fuss.

"Where have you been all day?" Ron whispered as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Time of the month, obviously," Hannah replied, glancing at Severus who must have heard her, because he raised a single eyebrow and the corner of his mouth threatened to smile.

"That's never excused you before!" He said with his cheeks going slightly pink.

"Not that one Ronald!" Hermione tutted at his ignorance and turned her book so that Hannah could see her notes.

At the end of the lesson, Hannah waited for the rest of the students to leave. Ginny was a little slow in gathering her things, but Hannah decided to pay her no mind.

"Severus?" She leaned into him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him chastely on the lips. "Can I come and visit you later? I don't want to be on my own again tonight." He looked surprised, and she detected his eyes narrow minutely. She suspected that public displays of affection were not something he approved of, especially considering the number of students he'd disciplined for it over the years.

"You say that as if I do not want you to visit. You are _always_ welcome."

"Thanks, Sev." The shortening of his name prompted his eye to twitch in an irritated fashion, but thankfully, he didn't contest it in front of Ginny who quickly left looking uncomfortable.

"Are you sure you're up for lessons? Not for the first time you look far too tired." He said, his fingers brushing the silver scar on her cheek.

"Ditto. I'm sure we'll be fine. I only have one left anyway, I missed the rest. Hopefully, next time we can just sleep – do you have any objections to a giant dog sleeping on your bed?"

"Absolutely. But I might be able to tolerate a wolf, just as long as it's only for one night a month." Hannah smiled and kissed his cheek. She had a thousand things she wanted to say, and she was desperate to stay, but she could already hear students for his next torture session arriving and waiting at the door.

"I'll see you later." She said as she headed to her next class.

Immediately after dinner, Hannah headed down to Severus' quarters. Cliodna swiftly let her in without question, but Severus apparently hadn't returned yet.

"Ssshe'sss back….again…hopefully ssshe will ssstick around thisss time. He'sss been alone for too many yearsss." Hannah stared at the painting over the fireplace. It had likely always been there - a witness to Severus' stressful life, and she wondered whether to ask the snakes questions about what they had observed over the years. Focusing on one of the snakes, she willed herself to speak their tongue.

"What was Severus like when he first started teaching?" Both of the creatures eyed her sceptically, their tongues flicking out as if they could actually smell her.

"It wasss tragic. He wasss missserable. He hated teaching. He hated the ssstudentsss. He hated ssspying. He hated himssself. Dumblesss made him do it, bribed him with pretty wordsss and the promissse of forgivenesss that wasss not hisss to give. The early yearsss were very lonely. Nobody trusssted him, not even the headmassster, and the later yearsss were all ssstresss and running of to do someone elssses bidding…and protecting you…alwaysss he wasss obsssesssed with protecting you." Hannah thought for a moment. She already knew this. Restricted to his living room, how much could the painting really know? Still, one question burned in her mind.

"Has anything changed? Is he happy now, do you think?"

"He'sss been happier sssince you vanquissshed the dark lord, and happier ssstill sssince he decided that he loved you. You ssshould know, you sssee him the mossst…don't you know your own mate?" Hannah rolled her eyes at the creatures. Snakes were not known to pair up like mammals or birds. What on earth could _they_ know about _mates_ , she wondered. Though the confirmation that he was happier soothed her, she had already known that, and she decided that they didn't really have anything useful to offer her.

Ungracefully collapsing on his sofa in exhaustion, Hannah must have fallen asleep. The next thing she knew, she heard the ruffling of clothes and the sound of footsteps. Blearily looking towards him, she saw Severus hang up his cloak, looking amused at her likely dishevled appearance.

"And there I was thinking your display of affection and blatant _proposition_ earlier were purely for Miss Weasley's benefit. But alas, here you are making my well-organised living room look messy, with you laying about the place like that!"

"Good evening to you too Sev. You knew I'd be here, don't lie, and I wasn't propositioning you, I just asked if I could visit…" He tutted and grumbled something about that not being what Miss Weasley thought, as he poured two glasses of fire whisky. "Are you trying to get me drunk? Is this _you_ propositioning _me_?" She asked cheekily. Not that she would mind, she thought as her eyes lingered on his and she watched as his eyebrow raised in amusement. Despite her exhaustion, her need for him was becoming unbearable, and she completely blamed him for always being so attentive and responsive to her every desire.

"No, I'm far too exhausted for that. This is me being polite and offering you a drink. Just one, I'm not trying to get you on the floor…yet. But if you don't want it…" She took the glass before he could withdraw it and sipped at it.

"How are you feeling after last night? Have you decided I've been punished enough?" He asked, taking a seat next to her by the fire. He looked just as completely exhausted as she suspected she did, and she didn't think it was just the lack of sleep.

"Yeah, I enjoy your company too much. Whatever happens or happened, I'm still happiest with you. So, what do you think they'll do with him?" Severus shrugged.

"Azkaban I suspect. They'll have to give him a trial first, but he'll never walk free. Technically, as a werewolf, they could just kill him."

"Oh. Severus, can I ask some…questions…about you?" He sighed and put down his glass.

"Your hesitation suggests that I will not like them." She shook her head. No, he wouldn't, but she knew he'd answer them as best he could and then they could get on with their lives.

"Why did you become a Death Eater?"

"Because I was young, and stupid…." This confused Hannah, after all, she was young and had nowhere near the knowledge she suspected Severus would have had at her age.

"But _I'm_ young and stupid! I bet you had all O's in your N.E. and yet you …" He shook his head.

"You're young yes, stupid? No. Knowledge doesn't necessarily make for intelligence. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but if you have the wrong perspective…I was too full of anger and hate to think rationally. My experience with muggles had been _my_ father and _your_ aunt Petnunia. I was young and foolish enough to allow my childhood suffering to cloud my judgement. I believed, much as Albus did in his youth…that all of it would have been for the greater good."

"You said that…in the beginning, you enjoyed it?"

"And I did. To me…they deserved it. It was a way for me to get my revenge. Revenge on society, muggles…and everyone knows that the Ministry is corrupt…the Dark Lord had promised a better alternative – at least, it seemed better to a naïve, angry young man. And to many others like him. But aside from that, once you stuck your nose into that crowd…well…let's just say one cannot simply cancel their membership after the trial period. I'm sure you know all of this, Hannah…what is it you really want to know? You _know_ I was a true Death Eater for two or three years – until your parents were threatened. Everything I did after that was to repent, you _know_ this."

"How many people have you killed?" He stared at her for a moment looking startled and vulnerable, and Hannah's heart started to beat faster with nerves.

"That question….is subjective. By my own hand, intentionally…only Albus…but one mustn't forget that the Dark Lord killed your parents only because of the knowledge that I gave him. He always preferred to do such deeds himself – a display of power. He would never have asked someone else to cast such a powerful and devastating spell for him."

"How did you kill Albus? I mean…I know the spell, and why you had to do it, but what were you thinking of?"

"I…remembered my father, and the immense suffering he inflicted upon my mother. The curse came regrettably easily." She finished her drink and poured another, offering him a glass too, but he shook his head, declining.

"And…did Voldemort make you torture people? Did you do it voluntarily?"

"The line between volunteering and force in this situation is a fine one, Hannah. Whichever side you were on…it was a war, and there were casualties. I'm not proud of it, but as you have experienced, I can be a very cruel man. People suffered torture by me, and because of me, I won't deny it. I can only reassure you that after I became a spy, I avoided everything that I could avoid without raising suspicion." She had another question, and she was afraid to ask it. War was always terrible, and she wondered the extent of the suffering muggles suffered under the hands of the Death Eaters.

"You tortured people…but _only_ with magic? You didn't…attack people…women…the muggle way?" An awkward, tense atmosphere immediately fell upon the room, and for a few moments, she could only hear the sound of silence. She could feel his eyes on her, but she dared not look up. She knew the question was redundant, but something was telling her that some of the Death Eaters took advantage of their ability to be cruel for their own pleasure.

"Do you truly believe me capable of that?" He asked softly, his voice filled with disappointment and disbelief. She took his hand comfortingly and shook her head.

"No, of course not. But I have a feeling some of the others…I mean, you might have had to…blend in…" At that, he did pour himself a drink, downing it in one before answering, and she felt guilty for asking something so demeaning.

"Thankfully, The Dark Lord would have frowned on tainting one's self with muggles. He would have seen such behaviour as the muggle way, just as you said, and therefore inferior to simply cursing people. But one did hear rumours of…on occasion. But, to definitively answer your question, _No_."

"I'm sorry, it was a cruel, stupid question, and I already knew the answer."

"None of your questions have been stupid. It was an honest question, and while I regret that you could entertain such thoughts…I do understand where they're coming from. They were turbulent times, and many of us had to do things we regret."

"What do you regret the most?"

"Depriving you of your family. Setting everything in motion so that you would have no choice but to bear the burden of that ridiculous prophecy." He reached to grab another glass of the amber liquid as if it would heal their pain, but she pulled his hand away and held it tightly.

"I don't think any more of that will help either of us. Severus, I know you still feel guilty about all of that, but you don't need to. It was a long time ago, and I forgive you. You couldn't know what would happen, and at least in the end, Voldemort died. We needed the time. I needed the time. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but without your part…well, nobody would have had the chance to discover his Horcruxes, and he'd be immortal. Things could have turned out better, yes. But they could have turned out a hell of a lot worse, Severus, and I wouldn't change what I have with you for the world."

"You're too forgiving, my love." She smiled and kissed him chastely on the lips.

"Maybe, but you're too mopey. I think…well, I'm ready to put the past in the past and move on together. I think we're stronger for this, we understand each other better."

"Yes, we do. I'm loathed to admit it, but _you_ have had a very…great effect on me. I have changed, and it began long before this year. You gave me a reason to keep going in the early years, when I had to protect you for my sins. Don't get me wrong I did not like you, not for years, but these past few months…it's as if you've taught me how to feel again. All these questions, and you already know the answers. What you really want to know about is Gregory Grimblehawk. I admit, I wanted revenge on him, and I enjoyed seeing him suffer. It was his fault you were infected with this curse, and when he tried to harm you, it was like an instinct. Not unlike you last night. I know you can defend yourself, I know that, but at the same time, I also know how much you have suffered, and in that moment my anger was…" It was as if once he started talking he couldn't stop, and Hannah suspected he was desperately trying to make her understand. It occurred to her that he had probably been worrying about how she'd react to his past since their relationship began.

"Palpable." She finished for him. "That's…actually, that's exactly how I felt last night. Love huh? It does strange things to people. You were right, it's not always benevolent, yet I don't regret attacking him. I meant what I said yesterday… I understand now. I…do you judge me for what happened?" He snorted irritatedly at the irony of the question.

"Of course not. That was Fenrir Greyback, I'd be disappointed if he didn't send you into a homicidal rage. I could barely contain myself as it was. It was nearly Gregory all over again."

"Well, I think we should at least agree to _try_ not to get into any more homicidal rages…and um…if I ever do that with someone I care about…"

"You won't attack anyone you love, Hannah. But alright…no homicidal rages in future. I don't think I'm ever going to have a completely cool head with you though. You brought out intense emotions in me even when I disliked you, and it's only gotten more intense since those feelings reversed. Hannah, I have to ask… you're not doubting my love for you, are you? Because I'd have hoped that such things would be obvious – the time we spent together at Easter…"

"Of course not! And I hope you don't doubt me either!"

"I didn't until you ran away from me!"

"I had to run away. Otherwise, I'd have thrown hexes and curses at you, and we both know how well that went last time! Plus, you broke your promise! You let me go!"

"Well, I couldn't hold you against your will – I'd never do that! Don't run away from me again – we have to talk things through if this is going to work!"

"Fine!"

They stared at each other, almost in a hostile manner for a few seconds, but before long Hannah started laughing, and the tension in the room began to dissipate.

"It is no laughing matter – a whole month I was distraught, thinking I'd lost you. Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He said as he took one of her hands in his, kissing it.

"I suppose so."

"Hmph! You suppose! You could try and be more convince…" Making sure he didn't need to finish his sentence, Hannah kissed him deeply and thoroughly, enjoying his initial surprise and passionate response.

"Satisfied?" She whispered.

"Certainly not. But I suspect we can come to a satisfactory… arrangement. You have no idea how desperately I've been wanting you, now I know exactly what I've been missing." He said seductively.

"You think I haven't been feeling the same? Now who's in denial?" She said as she pried open some of the fastenings on his ridiculously austere robes.


	17. Promises

Chapter Seventeen

Promises

Hannah lovingly traced Severus' features as she stared into his eyes for a long moment, attempting to glimpse his soul, just as he so often did with her. Their conversation had brought to her attention a sense of insecurity within his ridiculously complicated mind. It was something she wanted to clear up as soon as possible, and though she had promised that she'd come back to him, she felt guilty for the doubt and fear he must have felt over the past month or so.

"I love you, Severus. I don't want you to doubt that, not ever. No matter what." Brushing one hand through her hair, and gripping her hip with the other, he slowly leaned in and kissed her. Desperate and needy, they ended up furiously relishing in each other's lips. It was as if he had been holding something back before, and was now letting everything go. Within seconds they had somehow ended up on the floor by the fireplace, clutching at each other desperately. If this was his idea of a _satisfactory arrangement_ , she was only too happy to oblige. He made short work of removing her muggle top, and gently pushed her back, so he was laying on top of her. He continued to kiss her passionately while caressing her skin, and Hannah desperately grasped at the remaining fastenings on his clothes, eager to once again feel his skin against hers. Unfortunately, Severus was wearing his usual Victorian-style attire, and Hannah groaned in frustration at her slow progress, earning her an amused chuckle.

"Stupid….bloody…I'm just gonna use magic next time…" she muttered breathlessly as she finally freed him from his upper garments and lovingly ran her hands over his chest.

"Oh, _please_ don't. Your frustration is adorable. Besides, I'm going to relish every second of this. Take your time, I certainly plan to." He began to kiss pathways down her body, starting with her neck and chest, and working down her torso, and Hannah was already humming softly in delight. In the corner of her eye, Hannah blearily glimpsed the painting above the fireplace.

"Ssseverusss," she hissed unwillingly, trying to get his attention in a completely different way to the attention he was showing her now.

"Interessstingly ssslowly they go about mating, thessse humansss…" Hannah froze, tensing just as Severus had begun kissing her navel. He paused in his attentions, clearly wondering what was wrong.

"Ssstop ssstaring, mind your own busssiness!" She hissed. They were definitely going to have to move to the bedroom, Hannah thought. Despite the fact it was only a painting, it would be far too distracting, and there was no way she was going to give them any more of a display. Severus groaned despairingly and looked up at her.

"Do you have _any idea_ what it does to me when you do that?" Considering she could feel almost every _inch_ of his body against her, she did have _some idea_. Amused, she drew his face to hers and hissed her love and his name in parseltongue against his lips, earning herself a soft moan.

"Jealous?" She teased.

"Frustrated, in all manner of ways. What did you say?"

"I love you, Severus." He remained motionless and simply stared at her as they held each other for a few moments before he resumed his kisses. "Hmm… I'm definitely not complaining, but I thought you were too tired?" She teased breathlessly as she gripped his hand tightly. He'd better not stop his attentions _now_ , she thought desperately.

"Never…too tired …for _you_ ," he said between kisses. Once again she heard the painting hiss something, but she was becoming far too distracted to tell what it was saying.

"Can we…move to the bedroom? That bloody painting…it's _watching_ us." Silently and quickly, he stood up, offered her his hand and led her to the privacy of his bedroom.

There was nothing, Hannah decided. _Nothing_ like making up after an argument. Previously, their nights together had been slow, gentle and loving. While Hannah certainly didn't feel any less loved, despite their intentions to go slowly earlier, this time had been completely different. It was raw, needy, untamed and full of passion. She loved every second of it. They'd clung to each other with a sense of urgent desperation, and the release of the previous months pent up emotions seemed gloriously satisfying to Hannah. From the way he'd been softly moaning and whispering to her as he held her slightly too tightly, she suspected Severus felt exactly the same.

Hannah sleepily rested her head against Severus' chest and listened to his frantic heartbeat as it slowed to a steady, sleepy rhythm.

"Why on earth did you make me wait so long for _that_?" She whispered, thinking he was asleep. He chuckled, surprising her.

"I assume you're not talking about tonight?" He said sleepily as he held her hand on his chest. "I just wanted the time to be right, and for you to be certain I was what you wanted. Waiting until I could take you to my home was a way of ensuring…that I wasn't in a position of authority…" Hannah giggled amusedly.

"Do you mean you didn't want to feel like my teacher… _Professor_?"

"Something like that…"

"You must have known I'd let you take charge? I had no idea what I was doing."

"Hmm…You might've…wanted…you're…fast learner…" Mumbling now, he was clearly exhausted and falling asleep, and Hannah _almost_ felt guilty for having kept him up all night last night. But, their very enjoyable activities tonight at least were his own fault, she decided. He was far too skilled for his own good, and there was a very real risk that she _would_ become insatiable, just as he had predicted. As she slowly fell asleep, resting against him, Hannah found herself feeling immensely grateful for the curse that had been placed upon her late last September. If she hadn't been bitten, they would never have had any reason to spend time together, let alone fall in love, and Hannah would most likely be contemplating a solitary future as she sorrowfully watched her friends enjoy their newfound love for each other from the sidelines. She fell asleep feeling utterly content with her newfound lot in life.

Hannah awoke having rolled away from him in her sleep, and she turned to face him. Severus must have truly been exhausted because it appeared he hadn't moved an inch all night and was still sleeping peacefully. After watching him for a few moments, Hannah decided to let him sleep some more and quietly left the room to shower. When she returned he was still sleeping soundly, and not wanting to disturb his much needed rest, she headed into the lounge and summoned some tea and crumpets from the kitchens.

"Sssleep well?" One of the snakes asked her, its beady eyes twinkling knowingly. Hannah shook her head amusedly and laughed despite herself.

"You're so bloody nosy! I don't know why Sev hasn't taken you off his wall. You clearly irritate him."

"It'sss our job to asssissst the head of Ssslytherin. We've been here sssince the great Sssalazar himssself, he couldn't remove usss if he tried!" Hannah raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was a long time indeed, and it seemed a shame that he couldn't use any of the knowledge they must have acquired over that time.

"How can you assist him? You don't speak the same language."

"A mossst regrettable fact. Ssso few have been able to ssspeak with us…and then we get _you,_ a _Gryffindor_. Ssstill, you ssseem well matched."

"Yup. And there's nothing wrong with being a Gryffindor! The hat wanted me for Slytherin, you know. It was a close thing."

"Yesss, we can sssense that you could have been a mossst excellent Ssslytherin if thingsss had been different…" Hannah simply shrugged and continued to sip her tea. It was strangely nice to be chatting away amicably with an animal, even if it was just a painting. Perhaps she could acquire some kind of magical snake for a pet, she thought, wondering if Severus had developed any kind of fear for the animals since he'd been attacked by Nagini. "People at the door. Ssshall Cliodna let them in? Ssseverusss applied wardsss sssince your lassst interruption. They need your permisssion to enter." Hannah froze feeling uncertain, and wondering if she or Severus would get in trouble if she was once again found here. "Don't look ssso worried."

"Alright. Let them in," she sighed. A few moments later, Severus' quarters were once again invaded by her two best friends, and any relief she might have felt was washed away the second she saw Ron's face.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron demanded. Hannah looked at them in confusion, and Ron angrily threw the morning paper onto the coffee table. " _Werewolf Potter Captures Greyback At Hogwarts."_

 _Shit_ , Hannah thought as she drew her hand over her mouth. Completely distracted by Severus all day yesterday, and only having woken up mid-afternoon, she'd completely forgotten to inform them about the incident with Fenrir. She quickly scanned the article, frowning as she noticed Severus' far more important role in his capture had been completely glossed over. The paper had made her out to be some kind of hero even in her supposed savage werewolf form, and had praised her apparent clear head and " _inherent goodness, that even the werewolf curse can't suppress."_ How little they knew, she thought as she remembered her violent outburst of pure rage and hatred against the other werewolf.

"I…forgot…" she admitted sheepily.

"You…forgot," Ron replied slowly, ironically Snape-like. "You _forgot_ that you captured _Fenrir Greyback_. The man that attacked my brother, and killed Lavender and…"

"I know! I know it sounds bad, but I've just been distracted. Anyway, it didn't happen anything remotely like the papers suggest. Sev did all the work really, all I did was gnash at him – I mean, come on! I was a wolf at the time wasn't I?!" Despite his annoyance at her, Ron looked amused.

" _Really?_ You call him Sev? I'm guessing you _kissed_ and _made up_ then if you're here? Where is the old bat anyway? Not that I'm complaining…" Hannah rolled her eyes, blushing slightly.

"He's still in bed, sleeping. I kept him up with qu…"

"I _bet_ he is…" Ron said sniggering as Hannah groaned in embarrassment.

"So, are you going to tell us what really happened then, Hannah?" Hermione asked. "This a big deal! Who knows how many people you've saved from him…" Hannah squirmed uncomfortably under their scrutiny, but far too used to summarising such events, she quickly went over the basics of what happened, obviously omitting Severus' loving touch as he healed her wounds.

"I wonder what he was doing near Hogwarts…you don't think he was after you do you?" Hermione asked.

"I don't think we'll ever know…" Hannah shrugged, honestly past the point of caring. Whatever he was there for, he obviously didn't get it, and now he would be locked away for the remainder of his life.

"Are we ever going to see you when you're a werewolf?" Ron asked her, looking far too curious. It had been uncomfortable enough the times McGonagall had seen her, and even more so when the Aurors and Madam Pomfrey saw her a few days ago.

"Um…probably not no…It's nothing special anyway. I just turn into a very bored, very tired wolf."

"But _Sev's_ seen you? Every full moon, I bet…" He complained.

"That's different…" she whispered. Severus had been right. It was a personal experience, and truly, he was the only person she was completely comfortable with during her time spent on four legs.

"It's alright, Hannah. We know." Hermione said kindly, scowling at Ron.

Severus entered the living room shortly after. He was fully dressed but looking slightly dishevelled, contrary to his usual smart appearance. He paused and blinked as he took in the three of them sat around his fireplace.

"What fresh hell is this?" He said slowly, seemingly to himself, and it was clear that nobody in the room would ever have expected such a gathering to occur.

"Well, good morning to you too, Sev!" Hannah said smirking at him. His eyes took in the paper on the table, and he frowned as he summoned himself some coffee. "Um…I wouldn't bother reading it. You know how it is…" she said shrugging as she moved to sit by him. She leaned her arm on the back of the sofa and sat at an angle so she could face him.

Ron and Hermione seemed to take his arrival as a dismissal, and after saying their goodbyes seemed to practically flee the room. Whether that was because she now only had eyes for him, or whether it was because they were scared of him, she neither knew nor cared. Though she hoped that her friends would eventually get along with him, for everyone's sake.

"You should have woken me, it's practically lunchtime."

"Nah, you looked too peaceful and content. Besides, I'm betting you needed the sleep," she said tracing her fingers over the shadows under his eyes.

"I suspect I had _too much_ sleep," he complained. "I'm not used to it." Hannah nodded in understanding.

"I don't really have any plans for today. Just revision. Exams start on Monday…" He raised a single eyebrow at her.

"Revision? It seems I'm rubbing off on you, I don't recall you being particularly studious. If you don't know it already…" He said teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah _Professor_. I'm gonna go get my notes. You're alright with me studying here?" He shook his head and sighed.

"You can stop asking that, you know. I think sharing my bed with you should give you some indication of my feelings regarding your presence. I _clearly_ find it abhorrent in every way." Feeling playful, she rolled the paper up and whacked him with it.

"Such a git."

"Indubitably. You're the fool, offering your love to such a man." He said wryly, nonchalantly pouring himself another mug of coffee. Hannah tutted, and her eyes were drawn to the faint silver scars on his neck.

"Are you afraid of snakes?" She asked. Puzzled, he looked at her confusedly, clearly wondering what had brought on the change of conversation.

"I can't say I'm particularly fond of them anymore. I was very nearly killed by The Dark Lord's most loveable pet. Why do you ask?"

"Oh well, I was wondering if you'd object to keeping them as pets, that's all." He groaned.

"Sounds like you're just trying to put me in a permanent state of frustration. You know how I feel about those _language_ skills of yours."

"Hmm. I'll take that as a _no Hannah, I don't object_!" She said smiling.

Briefly returning to her room in Gryffindor tower to collect her notes for her revision, Hannah came to a decision. There was no point in keeping her things here anymore, and travelling to and fro was just a hassle. She packed her things in her trunk and shrunk it so that it would fit in her pocket. When she returned, Severus had obviously ignored her advice and was reading the paper, with music playing softly in the background. Entering the bedroom, she unshrank her trunk and began to unpack, putting the few clothes she owned with his, in his chest of draws.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his tone silky as he crept into the room.

"Well, I thought there was no point in keeping anything in the tower anymore. I'm moving in with you when school finishes anyway right? Might as well just stay here for the next couple of weeks." You did say to stop asking, she thought. Time to start telling, and be equals. His eyes narrowed minutely, and he had a strange glint in his eyes.

"You know, technically students are forbidden from living with their Professors…I suppose marriage or engagement would override such a rule, although Minerva is clearly content to ignore the situa…" Hannah's heart began to beat wildly in her chest, and she froze in the middle of sorting their clothes.

" _Are_ you asking?" She interrupted. Perhaps Severus hadn't really noticed what he'd said because he looked shocked and straightened a little.

"That depends…do you want me to?" She stayed silent, her mind unable to comprehend what might be happening. "Your life has only just begun, such a commitment…" He'd obviously thought she'd say she wasn't ready, or even just a callous 'no.'

"I mean if you were to ask…really ask…" she whispered, "then I'd be completely unable to refuse such an offer…the promise that I'd get to keep you…" He waved his wand, and everything Hannah had been sorting fell into a natural order. Embracing her closely, he drew her face near and stared into her eyes with impossible intensity.

" _Hannah Lily Potter…_ " he paused, the words were soundlessly spoken directly to her mind, and Hannah could feel his heart beating just as quickly as hers was. "… _Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?_ " Somehow the soundless intensity of the question was more intimate and personal than had the words been spoken aloud. She felt her eyes widen, and all she wanted to do was shout YES! But it seemed out of character for him to ask such a question. _Severus Snape_ had just asked her, _Hannah Potter_ to marry him, binding them together for life.

" _You_ would endure such an intimate ceremony in front of a room full of guests?"

"Yes."

" _You_ would wear your heart on your sleeve in public for an entire day, and declare your love for me before all the world?"

"Yes."

" _You_ would be tied to _me_ , the girl who lived, _forever_?"

" _Yes_."

"You would take _my name_? Become _Severus Potter_?" This one made him stiffen a little, and Hannah smiled and bit her lip at the thought of him introducing himself to first years as Severus _Potter_ , and then informing his older students of the loss of his _maiden_ name.

"If you wish it of me…" Full of glee, she couldn't resist kissing him any longer, and she peppered his face with them.

"Nothing would give me greater pleasure." It was his turn to kiss her then, and he picked her up, falling onto the bed with her.

"Hmm. _Nothing_ would give you greater pleasure?" He asked suggestively while holding her tightly, lovingly brushing her hair out of her face and gently stroking the scar on her cheek. Hannah simply chuckled happily, enjoying the moment.

"Don't start that, or I'll be all over you like a hawk on a sparrow, and it's barely even lunchtime!"

"Hmm, I suppose I can behave…for now…"

"I can't believe this is happening…we're getting married."

"Neither can I. I'm sorry if you wanted me down on one knee at a fancy restaurant or some other trite that passes for romance these days…I'm going to have to find you a ring…"

"Wow, Sev, what a way to apologise!" She teased, laughing, "No. We kind of asked each other, and that kind of public romance stuff isn't our style. I'm glad it happened this way."

"You're not really going to make me endure a big wedding and change my name to Potter are you?" She shook her head, her eyes full of mirth.

"No, just testing you. But the Weasley's have to be at the ceremony, they're practically family and…well, Molly would kill me if she missed it. Actually, I'm not even sure she knows about you… I hope I don't have to piece you back together when she's done with us…"

"Indeed. I hear my dear Bellatrix had no bodily remains left to piece together, even if anyone had been so inclined."

"Yeah, don't mess with the Weasley kids." They held each other in stunned silence for a few minutes, each seemingly contemplating the overwhelming nature of what had just been decided. Severus slowly began to look apprehensive, and Hannah traced the lines that appeared when he furrowed his brow.

"You…you're not already having second thoughts are you?" She asked gently.

"What? No! No, I'm not having second thoughts, but I am a little concerned as to how everyone is going to take this news. Whatever we are to each other, I'm the big bad Death Eater, and you're the saviour of wizardkind. Our world is still so full of pretense, status, and marriages of convenience. I'm depriving the upper classes the chance to dig their claws into the most eligible woman in Britain. There will be a lot of talk." She pulled his arm towards her and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt before kissing the dark mark that marred his skin, and he looked at her with intense love and surprise in his eyes. He clearly had never expected her to show her affection in such a place.

"Fuck the lot of them! We owe them _nothing_ , Severus, _nothing_! Seriously, as long as our friends are on side, I really don't care. You're the one that makes me happy, nobody else! People will probably stare at me for the rest of my life anyway, might as well give them another reason."

" _You_ have friends…I, on the other hand…well I suppose I have Minerva, and Hagrid likes _everyone_." Hannah raised her eyebrows.

"I thought you and Minerva were…I dunno, rivals I guess?" He huffed and gave her a pointed look.

"If you're referring to our constant battles over house points and quidditch cups, then you are correct. But it's all in good fun. She always gave me the benefit of the doubt, and treated me as her equal, even when I began teaching at the mere age of twenty."

"Oh. Even then you were still older than me!" She teased with a wink, earning her a groan and they held each other silently for a few moments in a mess of tangled limbs. "Nobody would ever have expected this. Intense hatred turning into an unbreakable bond of love."

"No. I'd have thought it impossible. That seems to be a talent of yours, making imposibilities not only possible, but probable." He traced the scar on her forehead contemplatively. "But I'm glad that it happened this way. Your antics during your childhood would have killed me if I'd known we'd eventually form a romantic relationship. You were always deliberately looking for trouble, and I suspect I would have kept you all to myself to stop you running off to fight The Dark Lord. I'd also have been worrying over what point it would be acceptable to find you…enrapturing."

"Yes, it would have been pretty traumatising to know I'd end up marrying my grumpy old bastard of a potions Professor at the age of eleven. I'd have been positively terrified of you!" He chuckled amusedly.

"As if you weren't already."

"Exactly! So…at what point did you find me _enrapturing_?" She asked cheekily earning herself a disgruntled groan.

"I'm sure you remember the first time you exploded Wolfsbane all over my classroom? The hints I got from you that day awakened something I had not known existed…and then after getting to know the real you, you shamelessly flaunted your body at me in the room of requirement! I suppose if there was a moment I knew there was going to be no relief from you, it was _then_."

"It was the same for me. My feelings seemed like a fantasy until then. You turned my fantasies into reality, that was why I was so shocked when you first kissed me. You were a real git the day after! You were afraid of it."

"Yes, I was. I was finding it difficult to realise that you're a woman now, and that my feelings were returned. Thank you for being so incessant in demanding that I come to my senses."

"Hmm, I daresay it was worth it." She said, happy and content to just lie there, basking in his warmth.

"Well, if you want to avoid any nefarious activities until later I propose we head down to lunch." He said, and Hannah frowned, not wanting to leave him just yet.

"What? You want to separate at a time like this?" He smirked knowingly at her.

"Oh, no! The castle _knows_. A place will have been created for you by mine, so no more meals with your fellow students. The castle's incomprehensibly complicated magic regards us as equals now. The reaction of our fellow humans to you sitting by me is going to be hilarious." Hannah paled, unsure how she felt about sitting right next to the Headmistress at meal times, and she was sure unabashed staring would commence. Though she had to admit, it would be nice to not have to separate from her _fiancée_ for meals, and she mentally prepared herself for the inevitable questions, glares, and stares of her fellow students. Not to mention how her other Professors were going to react. "Stop worrying. You look like you'd rather re-live fighting The Dark Lord!"

"Hey, you know as well as I do that Voldemorts temper had nothing on McGonagall's!" She said, fully expecting to be squirming uncomfortably under the scrutiny of the Headmistress.


	18. The Department for the Regulation and

Chapter Eighteen

The department for the regulation and

control of magical creatures

Severus shamelessly held Hannah's hand as they walked towards the great hall together, and Hannah tried to ignore any confused looks she got from passers-by. He took a slightly different route than she was used to, and Hannah realised that they were going to enter from the back door – the one only staff members could use. She audibly gulped as they entered the room, and Severus eyed her amusedly. Apparently, her discomfort was entertaining to him, but he squeezed her hand, and they sat at the table – Severus immediately to Professor McGonagall's right and Hannah next to Severus. Professor Flitwick almost jumped when she sat by him, and he simply gawped at her, clearly not knowing what to say about the apparent intrusion. Hagrid merely smiled and waved from across the room, and she felt guilty for not really visiting him since the beginning of the year. After all, it was Hagrid that had saved her from the Dursleys. The thought brought a small smile to her face as she wondered what her aunt would say when she found out exactly who she was engaged to, and she even contemplated inviting them to the wedding just to see the looks on their faces before banishing the idea. The Dursleys may have 'raised' her, but they were most certainly glad to be rid of her, and Hannah was glad to be rid of them too.

"Ah good, I was wondering if you were going to leave your dungeon today Severus, I've been meaning to ask about…" Hannah was eyeing the impressive silverware before her and began to fill her goblet, decidedly ignoring Professor McGonagall's outright staring, and trying to make herself seem at home. "What's this? Miss Potter, _what_ are you doing _here_?" But before Hannah had the chance to reply, McGonagall was glaring at Severus, barely pausing. "I take it this is your doing Severus, do you care to explain yourself?"

"You're an intelligent woman Minerva. You can guess. _Albus_ would have known in a heartbeat." He spoke in an almost teasing manner, and Hannah eyed Severus, bit her lip, and tried not to smile at his banter with his colleague. "Yes, well. I'm not Albus, and I'm asking you to explain exactly why Miss Potter is not sitting with her fellow students!" Hannah looked over the hall, and she could see Ron and Hermione looking towards her confusedly. Apparently, most of the other students hadn't noticed her yet, but a few had and were gawping at her. If anyone had any doubts as to her and Severus' relationship, they'd certainly be cleared up now.

"The castle simply acknowledges the nature of our relationship. Surely, as the Headmistress, you are aware of that?" Professor McGonagall's eyes boggled, and she looked between Hannah and Severus.

"Have you lost your mind? This…are you saying… _marriage_? What kind of example is this to be portraying to the students? Marriage at eighteen, and to a man twice her age…" She spoke quietly but fiercely, almost whispering, obviously hoping that their conversation would remain private. Hannah was grateful for her Professors concern, but she was irritated by the insinuation that Hannah was unable to decide her own fate, and her brow furrowed in agitation as she bit her tongue.

"You were already aware of our relationship, and it's only grown stronger since then. We're not married yet – just engaged, but the castle hears everything that happens in these walls. Minerva…I would not abuse my position, you _know_ that. The circumstances are far beyond anything anyone could have predicted."

"Oh, I know," she sighed exasperatedly. "But why couldn't you wait? A couple of weeks and it wouldn't cause such a stir…why is everything scandal and commotion with you two?"

"When the time is right, it'right," he said simply, refusing to elaborate further.

"I have to admit, when I allowed you to brew her monthly potions for her, I fully expected tantrums, curses, and visits to the hospital wing. Not…this." She said waving her hand. Hannah wondered what her Professor was really thinking, but Hannah simply nudged Severus' leg and smiled when he looked at her. "Well…I suppose this could be preferable. The line between love and hate really must be fine, if the two of _you_ can come together!"

"Am I forgiven? Do I still have my job? I believe your fellow Gryffindor's would love to see me banished from the castle! I recall they seemed to adore you when you sent me packing last year." He said faux mockingly, and Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes irritably.

"Not _that_ one, clearly!" She said pointing towards Hannah. "Well, I hope you're going to have a complete set of Outstanding's in your N.E.W.T.s Hannah, as you're spending so much time with your _Professor_ ," she said knowingly, and Hannah blushed knowing two things. Firstly that she definitely would _not_ get top marks in all of her subjects, and secondly, that their time was certainly _not_ spent studying anymore, and her head of house _knew it_. Thankfully, she was spared having to reply by a pompous looking owl that landed in front of her, stuck its leg out, and hooted irritably. She took the letter it was carrying and recognised the writing immediately. It was from the Ministry of Magic, and she tentatively opened it after nudging Severus, gesturing for him to read it with her. She frowned as she read it. The Ministry was offering her a job to train as an Auror, no strings attached. _Despite_ the fact that they apparently did _not_ employ werewolves _and_ the fact that she was, as of yet, unqualified. All she had to do was turn up to an interview to discuss the position on Wednesday afternoon. They'd even arranged with the Headmistress to interview her within the school grounds. Shaking her head in disapproval, she snorted and had to resist scrunching up her letter, and she wondered if Ron and Hermione had been offered a similar proposal, both having applied to work at the Ministry.

"They don't employ werewolves, but they're willing to make an exception…what utter…arseholes." Professor Flitwick turned and looked like he was going to admonish her, but must have thought better of it and was simply gaping at her in indecision. She ignored him, trying to gauge Severus' opinion.

"I thought they might. The Ministry will do anything to try and repair their image. Employing you as Auror would likely give their _flock_ something positive to focus on."

"I haven't earned it. My exams don't even start until Monday, how can they…"

"You've earned it. If that's what you want to do, trust me, you've earned it. Despite everyone's best efforts, you have done more than enough to earn a job hunting down criminals, if that what you want. I confess I'm going to be…extremely irritating if you take up their offer. I'll always be worrying about you, it'll make you even more of a target."

"I…I'm going to have to think about it. Somehow I feel like …if they don't employ people like me…I need to somehow make a difference, a real difference. I've already hunted people down…it's already been enough for a lifetime…" She was struggling to form her developing ideas into coherent sentences, but Severus somehow seemed to know what she meant because he was looking at her with understanding, nodding minutely.

"Never doubt that you've already made a difference, Hannah…" he said as he grasped her hand. McGonagall and Flitwick had obviously been listening in on their conversation because they were both looking at her with pride, but there was pity in their eyes too, and she swore she could see a tear in McGonagall's eye. She shook her head exasperatedly thinking she'd only done what _had_ to be done, nothing more, and quietly finished her lunch. Nothing else was said on the matter, and Hannah and Severus returned to the privacy of their quarters to spend the rest of their afternoon together.

Ron and Hermione visited Hannah in their quarters that evening, and were obviously very interested in the fact that they had been abandoned at meal times. When Hannah hissed her approval of their arrival at the painting, Severus simply huffed and retreated to his study, abandoning the chess match he was clearly just about to win. Perhaps he would never be overly sociable, Hannah thought, but it was just another reason to love him. Hannah wasn't much of a people person either – too many people only wanted to know about _the chosen one_ , not her, Hannah, and she was glad that he wouldn't be expecting her to attend many social functions. She'd more than happily return the favour.

"Good evening!" She said excitedly, almost singing. Hermione would guess, if she hadn't already, and truth be told, Hannah was far too excited to not tell her two best friends about her upcoming nuptials. Besides, she'd be personally offended if they didn't attend the wedding.

"How did you manage to pull off sitting by Snape? I can't believe you've abandoned us, I'll never know what you see in him…" Ron complained crossing his arms as Hermione looked at her knowingly.

"Do you have something to tell us?" she asked with a bright smile.

"Wait, what do you know Hermione?" Ron questioned Hermione, who ignored him and focused on Hannah, waiting for the inevitable story to follow.

"So…long story short…Severus asked me to marry him. Obviously, I said yes. There's no way I could ever refuse him, and I definitely don't plan on looking elsewhere so…. Well anyway, the castles magic picks up on these things, so it allocated a place for me with the other…adults? It sounds bad when you say it like that doesn't it?"

"Wait…just…wait," Ron interrupted looking confused. "He asked you to marry him? _Snape_ _asked you to marry him_? _You_ said _yes_ to marrying Snape? Are you sure that's what he asked? Coz sometimes he has a funny way of speaking, doesn't he? I mean not that you don't understand him, but I don't…but you…you're only eighteen!" Hannah and Hermione were laughing at Ron's shock and horror at the fact that she had willingly decided to attach herself to Severus Snape of all people. Eventually, Ron saw the funny side too and joined in.

"I knew it!" Hermione said happily, hugging her tightly. "I'm so happy for you Hannah!"

"You're not going to tell me off, go on some feminist rant, or tell me to get my career sorted first? Do you think I'm jumping into things too fast?"

"No, you wouldn't listen anyway! Besides, anyone can see that there's real love between you, and Prof… _Severus_ wouldn't try and restrict you in any way. I actually think he's the best kick up the butt you've ever had when it comes to your academic life, I've never known you to have such consistently good grades!" Hannah rolled her eyes and laughed happily, shaking her head.

"Trust you to think the best benefit of marrying a Professor is their academic ability!"

"Oh, I don't doubt he has other skills he's acquired over time…younger men take a bit more…" Hermione said cheekily, and Hannah blushed slightly.

"Oi! I'm right here you know…bloody girls, I should have sat by Finnigan on that train in the first year…would've had a lot less trouble, that's for sure…" Ron complained. "Well, Hannah…I can't say I'm not happy for you, but one thing's certain…mum's going to kill you…at least once she's done with Snape!"

"Yeah…about that…how should I tell her? I mean you're all going to be invited to the wedding…and I haven't told her anything…"

"Don't look at me!" Ron said grinning. "This is your doing. Just make sure I'm there, I want to see her face!" Hannah groaned as she imagined the intense questioning the Weasley matriarch was bound to barrage her with, and she knew she was going to have to pull herself together and inform her in person. A random wedding invitation popping out of the blue would probably cause more concern and confusion than necessary. She hadn't even spoken to her about being a werewolf yet either, so she supposed that all things considered _surely_ something as simple as getting married would be inconsequential in comparison. "Well, at least _mum_ didn't go to school with him…that could be awkward!" Rolling her eyes, Hannah shook her head, not willing to admit that Ron might have a point and she decided to change the subject.

"Hermione, you applied to work at the Ministry too right? I've got an interview for Auror training on Wednesday…but…oh, I dunno…have you heard back?"

"Having second thoughts?" Hermione asked, and Hannah shrugged noncommittally. "Well, of course, Ron's still going for Auror, but in the end, I applied to work in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures. It prefers N.E.W.T level care of magical creatures, obviously, but I heard back from them yesterday, and they're willing to negotiate. I've got an interview too, but not until after the exams. I wonder why yours is so early. Guess they just want to get hold of you before anyone else does!"

"Well," Ron said, scrunching up his face in distaste, "That'll be all three of us…Ministry lapdogs – who'd have thought?"

The rest of their weekend passed by far too quickly, and though Hannah had spent much of her time cramming for her exams, her ridiculously learned lover had seemed to become decidedly uninterested in academic pursuits, though he certainly did seem to get great pleasure in learning more about the inner workings of Hannah's body. She had to admit, she enjoyed exploring his body just as much. She found herself hardly able to concentrate when he was around, and for the first time, she was actually glad that he habitually wore austere, unrevealing clothing, otherwise she might not have gotten any work done at all.

Hannah awoke early on Monday morning feeling sick with nerves. Normally, exams and schoolwork wouldn't be any cause of concern or stress for her at all, but her first exam was the one she had been dreading most, and its placement on the first day was a mixed blessing. Potions, the old menace that she feared far more now that she didn't want to disappoint Severus than it ever scared her when Snape was constantly belittling her efforts. She nervously stood by the fire lost in thought, and she didn't notice Severus enter the room until he embraced her from behind and she leaned back into him.

"I'll be in your potions exam today, invigilating. Try not to get _too_ distracted." She rolled her eyes, and nudged his ribs teasingly.

"Just so long as you try not to _be_ too distracting…git!"

"Hmm, I'm not sure which is worse. Git, or Sev. I have no idea why you seem to attach pet names to me, _or_ why I tolerate them," he sighed. "But I have even less insight into why exactly you're worried. You can brew _Wolfsbane_ , anything else should be easy in comparison."

"Oh, I just…want to do you justice, you know? After all, I'm sure you don't want to be known for marrying the girl who lived to become a _dunderhead_!" She turned and winked at him, but he simply let out a long-suffering sigh as they headed out towards the potions room.

"Do you have any advice for me?" She asked just before they reached the examination room. He huffed and looked down at her amusedly, smirking.

"Just follow the instructions carefully. Unless you can remember my mine, then _always_ follow mine."

When they arrived Ron and Hermione were already waiting outside, and Hannah joined them as Severus entered the classroom. They weren't kept waiting long, and an old witch she recognised as her examiner a few years ago soon opened the door and let them in. Severus was stood at the front of the class and had already got his hands on a copy of their instructions. When she caught his eye, his face remained stoic giving absolutely nothing away, and Hannah frowned as she saw the amount of equipment that had been set up for them to use. The examiner informed them that they had three hours, wished them luck and instructed them to begin. When Hannah turned the page to see exactly what she had to brew she wanted to leap for joy, despite everyone else in the room seemingly expelling an aura of fear. The instructions were for a draught of the living death, and Hannah vividly remembered Severus' spidery annotations on his copy of Advanced Potion Making. Shortly after she had retrieved her ingredients and begun her potion, she caught Severus' eye.

 _"_ _It's better with the juice from thirteen beans not twelve, right?"_ It wasn't that she wanted to cheat, she just couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him. He blinked in surprise, and his eyes narrowed comically, causing Hannah to suppress a grin. He refused to answer and simply turned away, but Hannah could sense his amusement, and she was sure he'd have offered some kind of sign if she was wrong. The examiner watched her with curiosity for a few moments and had clearly noticed that she'd changed some of the instructions because she shook her head disapprovingly while making notes on her clipboard. Hannah ignored the woman's irritation and continued to brew the potion exactly as she remembered making it for Professor Slughorn. After just under two hours had passed, Hannah stirred her potion anti-clockwise seven times before adding a single clockwise stir and was promptly rewarded with a completed perfect looking potion. Feeling proud of herself she caught Severus' eye who simply raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a small smile as the examiner looked over her potion in surprise. Obviously, the older witch had expected her to fail after altering the recipe, but she looked over it in approval before whispering an unconventional "congratulations," and allowing her to leave the exam early, earning her a disapproving stare from Hermione. Well, Hannah thought, if that didn't get her a passing grade, she'd never know what would. Her Defence exams the following morning and afternoon went just as well. Blocking curses, putting up defensive barriers and explaining just how to defend yourself against inferi, were, happily, easily done for someone who had lived through Voldemort's reign of terror, and Hannah was relieved to get what she thought were her two most important subjects out of the way early on.

When Wednesday morning arrived, Hannah found herself forced to contemplate her impending interview. Thankfully, her morning was filled with her written charms exam, something she hoped would turn out to be somewhat harder than the practical one, so she was spared from having to dwell on it for the entire day. She headed to the great hall for lunch and took her increasingly familiar seat between Severus and Professor Flitwick.

"So?" Severus asked, temporarily abandoning his paper, clearly wanting to know how her exam went.

"It was okay. I don't think it went as well as potions, but I'm pretty sure I'll pass," she said. "I'm more worried about talking with the Ministry lot later…I hope they send someone…tolerable."

"I suspect it's just a formality. Have you decided yet?"

"No…" He was looking at her almost in disapproval, but seemed reluctant to offer any further opinion. "Don't look at me like that! It's a big decision…"

"Yes, it is. Just remember you have other options too. Defeating criminals isn't the only option you have – you're young enough to do anything you want with your life. Don't ever feel obliged to do what's expected of you. You've already done that, perhaps you should try something unexpected." Hannah smiled, making up her mind. She agreed with Severus, perhaps hunting down dark wizards would be far too obvious a career choice for Voldemort's vanquisher. Though she had to admit, the idea that was forming in her mind would probably still count as a predictable career choice, all things considered.

"Thanks, Sev," she said, earning her a scowl and some unintelligible mumbling about calling him by his name. In the corner of her eye, she saw that Flitwick's eyebrows were practically reaching his receding hairline, and she sniggered happily before tapping her nails on the table and looking at her watch, sighing at the fact she was due to meet them in ten minutes.

"Well…wish me luck," she said as she got up to head out.

"No. You don't need it," Severus replied, nonchalantly returning to his paper.

"Good luck Miss Potter," Flitwick called out to her with a smile just as she was leaving.

"Thanks, Professor," Hannah replied, turning to pull a face at Severus, who diligently ignored her and shook his head in exasperation.

When Hannah knocked on the door and entered the old abandoned office that McGonagall had used before she became Headmistress, she was immediately put at ease. Two men were sat amicably chatting, awaiting her arrival. The first she vaguely recognised as one of the Auror's who had collected Fenrir – a stern-looking man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, and had short brown hair and scrutinising looking blue eyes. The second she knew fairly well, and it was his presence that put her at ease. The minister for magic himself had apparently decided to attend, and she smiled and shook his hand, genuinely happy to see him for the first time since his participation at the battle of Hogwarts.

"Hannah! It's good to see you, I hope you're keeping well?"

"Yes, I'm very well thank you. It's good to see you too, Kingsley!" Hannah said, smiling as she shook his hand. The other man got up and silently shook her hand too, though he did not smile and seemed to be studying her.

"This is Gawain Robards, head of the department for magical law enforcement. Don't mind him, it's in his nature to be suspicious of everyone. Comes with the job you could say." Kinglsey said, smirking and gesturing for her to sit down.

"Let's just cut to the chase minister. Miss Potter, the Ministry feels it would be in our mutual benefit for someone with…such experience as yourself to work under the guidance of my fellow colleagues in the Auror office. I'm sure you'd progress through our ranks quickly – you might even be the head of the department in a few years. It would also ease the public's mind to know that the Ministry is supportive of the girl… _woman_ who defeated the dark lord and…"

"Are you planning on quitting, Mr Robards?" Hannah interrupted, and he blinked in surprise at the interruption.

"Well, no, but…in a few years…"

"Well, then your job won't be available for a considerable period of time, will it? As to what the general public thinks, I know that keeping in their good books is important and advantageous to _you_ , but I could care less. They change their mind about me on a daily basis, I can hardly be expected to keep up these days. Don't think I don't know I'm only being offered a job because it's advantageous to the Ministry." Kingsley laughed and winked at her.

"I told you she was sharp, Gawain. Hannah, try not to be put off. The public will undeniably feel safer knowing that you are within Auror ranks, but believe it or not, I have your best interests at heart. You _are_ qualified, Miss Potter. Your experiences during your life more than fulfil the requirements to be a successful Auror. You're experienced with duelling, you work excellently both in a team and on your own. You managed to stay hidden from the world for nearly ten months, you're determined, and you have always tried to do the right thing. So, while I'm sure you'll do excellently in your exams, Mr Robards and I are already satisfied that you meet our requirements. I can assure you that it was under my instruction that we are in this room today." Hannah thought for a moment, taking in everything he had said. There was one question she was burning to ask, and she got the distinct impression that Mr Robards would not like it.

"Mr Robards…in your letter, it said that you would make an exception for my werewolf status…what does that mean?"

"It's not an ideal situation, but I'm sure we can plan in advance – make sure your days off always fall on the full moon, help you ensure you always have access to potion ingredients, that sort of…"

"No," she interrupted. "I mean…doesn't the Ministry employ werewolves?" Mr Robards frowned, and his eyes narrowed.

"Only the department for magical law enforcement officially states that it doesn't employ werewolves – too much of a risk, and obviously there's a conflict of interests, but you're an exceptional candidate. There are always exceptions to the rule…" Her eyes narrowed. Risk, he'd said, as if she'd spread around the condition by touching people.

"If the Auror office does not employ werewolves, then it cannot employ me, Sir. I am a werewolf, didn't you read my application form? Blood status – werewolf?" Hannah shrugged and sighed. "Minister? Would it be too late to apply for another position? I…I hear that a Mr Gregory Grimblehawk has, well…been fired. Surely there's room for a new employee in the being division within the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures?" Kingsley smiled knowingly, but Mr Robards looked outraged and confused.

"But…you realise you need a care of magical creatures N.E.W.T to work in that department? It says here you're studying Charms, Defence, Herbology, Potions and Transfiguration, you're not qua…"

"If that's what you wish, Hannah, then it will be so." Kingsley interrupted. "But I warn you, people are stubborn – changes in the law will take time." She nodded appreciatively.

"Trust me, I know that better than anyone! I just feel…I don't want to be on the run all the time."

"You know the Auror office is one of the best-paid departments? None of the positions in other departments pay anywhere near what we can offer…" Robards said, obviously desperate not to lose her. Hannah shrugged, not caring about money in the slightest.

"As long as we can live comfortably, I don't care about money. I still have some savings, and Severus has been a teacher for a long time. Living a fulfilling life is way more important than chasing money, even _you_ must know _that_?"

"Severus? Severus Snape? the Death Eater?" Robards confusion only grew, and Hannah supposed it would probably horrify him to know that they'd soon be married.

"We'll be in touch soon, Hannah. I'll let you know what's available as soon as I can. I'm sure our young Rolf will be thrilled to welcome you into his department!" Kingsley said as Hannah got up to leave. Happy with her decision, she wondered what Severus would say about the turn of events. He'd probably snort and roll his eyes she thought, unable to prevent the appearance of a small grin. "Oh, and send my regards to Severus, will you? Minerva tells tales of wedding bells? I can't say I it's expected, but congratulations! He's a lucky man. I hope you realise that?"

"Thank you. I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear from you. Especially considering…"

"The last time we met?" Kingsley replied knowingly with a slight twinkle in his eye. "Just let him know that I trust your judgment and decisions. Therefore, I trust him."

"Thanks, Kingsley – for everything."

"You can't be serious? That… _man_ , with Hannah Potter? You saw the state of Gregory when we collected him, I seriously doubt that…what if _she_ ends up like…" The last comment seemed to be one too far, and Hananh sneered at Robards just as impressively as Severus could have done.

" _How dare you_! You have no idea what we've been through, or what we had to do during the war! I trust him more than _anyone_! I _certainly_ trust him more than some random Auror. What were _you_ doing during the war?!"

"You're a fool, Hannah Potter! He's obviously taking adv…"

"Enough," Kingsley interrupted, waving his hand dismissively at Gawain. "Hannah Potter is no fool. He'd have absolutely no chance of winning her over with pretty words, Gawain. If she trusts him, then I trust him." Willing herself to calm down, Hannah said her goodbyes to Kingsley and swiftly left the room, knowing she'd end up taking a leaf out of Snape's book and just cursing the guy if he continued with his unwarranted criticism. She frowned with the knowledge that she would probably have to deal with quite a few shocked outbursts, and it annoyed her that people were so quick to come to the wrong conclusion.

Feeling happy with her decision to change departments at least, she headed back to the comfort of Severus' chambers, deciding to omit the latter half of the conversation.


	19. Into The Wilderness

Chapter Nineteen

Into the wilderness

Feeling somewhat in a daze, Hannah slowly made her way back to her quarters, thinking about the decision she had just made. Maybe this was exactly what Mathilda had intended all those months ago when she was bitten, Hannah thought. Perhaps she had wanted the girl-who-lived to stand up tall against the world and implement change. Working within the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures would certainly allow her to flex her muscles and push for equality with regards to how her kind was treated under the law. Just like in the muggle world, many people faced outrageous discrimination in the wizarding community, and she decided that she was now in one of the best positions to actually do something about it. Public opinion, she hoped, would change over time, and she hated to acknowledge it, but she would likely be able to exert great influence over public opinion if she wanted to. She had been keen to ignore that fact thus far in her life, but she supposed that if she was going to work for the Ministry, then she was never going to play into the role they had laid out for her. She would create her own path, and in doing so, she hoped she would be able to make meaningful change.

Remembering something in the back of her mind, Hannah realised that she hadn't spent any time with others like her whatsoever. Secretive and reclusive, it was always going to be difficult to track others down, but she remembered reading something in Marlowe Forfangs book about werewolves. It had talked about werewolf colonies existing in various parts of the world, and a tentative realisation was dawning upon her. If she was going to fight for change, she needed to know what, exactly, she needed to fight _for_. Spending time with society's outcasts might just be the only way to truly understand their plight.

Sighing at her thoughts, and realising that she was beginning to sound just like Hermione, Hannah walked through Cliodnas portrait hole and headed for the study. Scanning the bookshelves, she found that Severus did indeed have a copy of Forfangs book and she scanned the contents looking for something helpful. It was only near the end of the book, where Forfang explained how he obtained his knowledge that she found what she was looking for.

'At the villager's request, I cannot reveal the location of the colony. I can only reveal that their village is hidden along the northernmost coast of Scotland's highlands, and is impassable to the muggles, who inevitably end up wandering in circles around it. They were a surprisingly amicable and peaceable community, and I was welcome amongst them for a time. After declining to join their ranks, however, it soon became apparent that my presence was no longer wanted or approved of, and at the villager's request I took my leave, grateful for the knowledge and understanding that I have presented to you, the reader.'

Flicking back to the first page, she noticed that the book was first published in 1908. Could people still be living there as outcasts ninety years later?

"Looking for something?" Lost in her own thoughts, Hannah jumped and turned.

"Jeez, Severus! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Raising an eyebrow, he caught the title of the book in her hand and sighed.

"I thought I warned you not to take too much stock in such books…what on earth has happened to make you blindly wander through to the study? Did the Ministry offend your sensibilities?" _Oh_ , Hannah thought. She hadn't even noticed that he was home, and must have walked straight past him.

"Huh, it seems I'm not the only one offended!" She said cheekily, before sighing and showing him the page she was reading. He scanned it and passed the book back to her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not following you. What does this have to do with the price of dragon's blood? How was the meeting with the Ministry?" _Of course,_ he wasn't following her, Hannah thought. She wasn't even sure she was following herself.

"Dunno why, but the minister himself was there. He says hi, and congratulations to us both. Anyway, I refused their job offer. So…yeah, I'm not going to be an Auror. I mean they admitted they don't usually employ…people like me anyway." Severus smiled smugly, looking far too happy at this revelation. He must have known she'd turn them down.

"Understandable. Kingsley probably just wanted to see how you were doing. When it comes to you, people get…attached. And? I take it there's more." She bit her lip, wondering if he'd guessed where her thoughts had been going for the past few days.

"I...well, I convinced them to give me a…different job. They've offered me a position within the Department for the…"

"Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. How utterly predictable you are. Congratulations, I'm proud of you for not letting them dictate your life."

"I'm predictable?" Severus rolled his eyes at her, but he was still smiling, and Hannah thought he was probably happy that he wouldn't be wondering exactly who his future wife would be fighting every other day. His happy demeanour was going to be short-lived she thought, still gnawing on her lip. "Severus…do you think the people in this book still exist? It was written at the turn of the century right?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at her with suspicion, and he took the book from her, shelving it with a little more force than necessary.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you know….I don't know anyone else like me. If I'm going to be working in the Department for…ugh…the DMC, I thought it would be a good idea to figure out exactly who's out there to help!"

"You and your bloody saviour complex! I never thought you'd suggest something so stupid. There _is_ nobody else like you…I take it back, you're not predictable, you're insane. Those Gryffindor qualities are going to get you killed. You have no idea what you'd be walking into, or even if you would ever find them. They might not even exist anymore – _if they ever did_. What are you going to do? Go aimlessly wandering around the countryside expecting to stumble upon a merry band of misfits who just so happen to need your help? Tell them _I come in peace, take me to your leader?_ Books like that…did you learn nothing from Gilderoy Lockheart?"

"Severus, I'm not going to argue with you. I know it seems mad – running off into the countryside searching for people who don't want to be found, but I just know there has to be somewhere people like me…"

"Don't you think Albus would have sent Remus to find them if he thought they still existed?"

"Do you know for sure that he didn't? Surely others in Dumbledore's generation must know something about it – I mean, it's like what the muggles used to do to lepers right? Send them off to live away from everyone else… would you really put it past people like the Malfoys to disown their relatives and just claim they died?"

"If he did they were either hostile or gone. Fenrir controlled most of the werewolves, you know that! Remus never mentioned a friendly neighbourhood of wolves in the Order. "

"Like you'd have been paying attention, you hated Remus!" Their tempers rising, Severus sat at his desk and rested his head on his hands in exasperation, clearly trying not to get too angry. "I'm sorry, I didn't…I know you took that job seriously."

"I've _always_ taken you seriously… we've only just started to settle, and now you're going to run away from me again. Always you're running. Running into who knows what. You're not even going to let me accompany you are you?" Sitting on the desk, she pried his hands apart and held them in hers.

"This is something I have to do on my own. I feel like I need to understand what it's like for the others, they could help me with that. It'll help _me_ to help them, the werewolves… _us_. I know that you understand me, but there are some things you have to _experience_ …anyway, it won't be for long. If I leave as soon as exams finish, I could be back by the time our exam results are published in July. I have _you_ to come home to, you don't think I could stay away for that long do you? We have a wedding to arrange!" They sat in silence for a few moments and Severus brushed his thumb over her ring finger.

"Well, if you're going to be away for a while you're going to need a ring. You're most definitely spoken for." Smirking, Hannah raised an eyebrow and looked at him defiantly.

"What, don't you trust your fiancé?"

"Of course, I do, but I don't trust the rest of the male population, I don't even trust most of the female population. You're intelligent, beautiful, young and _far too desirable_." He said sultrily, and she leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips.

"Thanks, Severus. I might just love you a little more for not trying to stop me."

"It's not my place to hold you back…but I'm going to be fretting as insufferably as Molly Weasley while you're off gallivanting in the wilderness. You force me to act out of character Mrs Snape to be." The name Snape made her shudder a little. She loved every inch of Severus, even down to his dark mark, but she had no love for his surname. It always reminded her of how things _were_ , and he probably felt the same about Potter.

"Indubitably… _Mr Potter_." Severus frowned, and Hannah snickered at the look of distaste on his face after being referred to as a 'Potter.' "What name are we going to take? Are you particularly attached to Snape? I mean you hated your father so…"

"No, I'm not particularly attached to it. I cannot, in all honesty, say the name Potter bears much love either, but what's in a name?" Hannah thought for a moment. What's in a name?

"Names…can be surprisingly significant. You say Potter and everyone thinks of me and my parents and Voldemort. You say Snape and everyone…" She paused, not wanting to antagonise him any further.

"Go on," he groaned.

"Well, everyone thinks of Death Eaters…and Voldemort. But of dark, brooding heroes too. Both of our names carry too much history for my taste. What would people think of if you said the name Prince?" Severus looked at her in surprise and contemplated for a moment.

"These days that name bears little weight. Most people wouldn't even recognise it." Hannah shrugged.

"So, how about a compromise? Mr and Mrs Prince. I mean come on…Potter-Snape or Snape-Potter…it just…no. It doesn't work, too much of a mouthful."

"You wouldn't feel like you're giving up some of your identity?"

"Yes. But I guess that's the point. Sort of a fresh start for both of us. Besides, we women have been giving up our names for centuries! It's just a name - like you said, but we might as well have one we both like."

"True enough," Severus said amusedly. "Tell me, I've never asked. Are you religious?"

"What? No – what gave you that idea? I mean I like Christmas as much as the next guy, but I don't actually believe…"

"Your incessant talk of souls lead me to think…"

"Well, yeah, but one does not denote the other. _I_ have no such fear of the _moon_ that I must place my faith in some absentee father figure." Severus chuckled looking relieved. "What?"

"The irony of _you_ not fearing the moon. I'm glad you're not going to make me endure some ridiculous religious muggle ceremony. It would be hard to remain serious under the eyes of _an absentee father figure_ , as you put it."

"I hope that will be completely true one day – not fearing the moon that is." At this, Severus simply shook his head, gazing into the distance, and Hannah held his hand tightly. "What's wrong?"

"You're making the right choice…I doubt any others will have searched for the colony since Forfang, except other wolves. Well, perhaps Newt Scamander did in his youth, but he's notoriously good at keeping such things secret. If they remain, then they have a lot to catch up on, and I suspect you will teach each other much. Having said that…I wish someone else would do it. It'll be dangerous, and there's always the risk that…you might…there's not even been a whisper from them...anyone that's found them…" He was uncharacteristically stumbling on his words, and he looked away. "You might decide to stay."

"Severus, what would I stay for? Why would I not want to return to you? To the rest of the world?"

"They might not let you leave. A young female might turn out to be a precious commodity," he said teasingly, eyes full of mirth.

"Then I'll send Edgar or a Patronus to you, and you can live up to your name, Mr _Prince_!"

"Hmm, I thought I already did?"

"Nope. Nowhere near the manners, a prince would have waited until the wedding!" Chuckling, Severus stood and embraced her before kissing her passionately.

"Is that really what you want? No sex until the wedding? As you wish. I can be a very patient man." He released her and headed out of the study. Paling, Hannah jumped off the desk and quickly followed.

"Git. You better not be serious! I can't hold back that long, and neither can you!" He didn't turn, but Hannah was sure she heard him mumble something about being insatiable, and not even wanting to try.

"There's something I've been intending to give you for a while. I decided to wait until your Birthday, but since an appropriate moment has presented itself…I suspect it will prove to be more useful to you now than later." After rummaging in a cabinet for a few moments, he pulled out a large drawstring bag. Untying it, he reached in gripping something and pulling it out. He'd obviously used an undetectable extension charm, and Hannah's eyes widened as a shiny, polished, elongated piece of wood began to emerge. She eyed the two oversized grey feathers tied to its handle and realised it wasn't just any old broomstick. Somehow, Severus had managed to retrieve and repair the very same firebolt that Sirius had given her, and it was just as beautiful as it was the day she lost it.

"Where…how?" She stuttered, lost for words and filled with joy at being reunited with what felt like an old friend.

"I saw it fall the day you fled Little Whinging. I collected it soon after intending to inconspicuously return it, thinking it would be of use to you on the run. Regrettably, it was broken, and while most people could just about fly one of these, not so many could tell you how they work. As you know, it's only recently that Diagon Alley has started to return to normal, allowing me to seek help repairing it." Hannah giggled happily and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks, Sev. I'm amazed the thought would even occur to you to find it with everything else that was going in. Well, then and after too…even I'd almost forgotten it…"

"You're welcome. I know it probably has sentimental value to you, but zooming around the countryside on this should help you find your merry band of misfits more easily."

"Hmmm. And therefore bring me home more quickly too!" Severus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"You know you can just _apparate_ home? _I expect you to apparate home_." He said sternly.

"Where's the fun in that? Have you ever ridden this thing? Honestly, there's nothing better in life than…well alright, there's only _one_ thing better!"

"A large bar of Honeydukes chocolate no doubt…"

"Oh, I don't know…I more partial to a large slice of treacle tart myself." She said playfully, tapping her fingers against his chest. "Care to try and convince me otherwise?" She said seductively, gesturing towards the bedroom and earning herself a groan from him.

"As you wish." That didn't take much…so much for waiting until after the wedding, Hannah thought.

Hannah took breakfast at the Gryffindor table the following day to tell her friends about her decision. Ron and Hermione took the news quite well, though Hermione seemed to agree with Severus' assessment of her restlessness, and had asked her if she'd ever truly settle down.

"You're like Frodo Baggins, completely unable to settle after all your adventures, even though you desperately want to," Hermione said, earning looks of confusion from both Hannah and Ron causing Hermione to roll her eyes in disappointment. "Come on! It's probably one of the best-known muggle books! Philistines, the both of you. Did you even read the Frankenstein book I lent you? I can't believe someone like Severus Snape of all people would fall in love with someone who reads so little…"

"You're one to talk!" Hannah laughed, not willing to tell her that she'd tried to get Severus to read it to her, so she didn't have to read it herself. "Ron, do you think your mum would mind us – Severus and I, making a short trip to the burrow this weekend? Just for a few hours to explain everything. I guess I've been putting off telling her about us for too long…do you think she'll help organise the wedding and stuff?" Ron rolled his eyes exasperatedly and shook his head at her.

"When are you ever going to learn that you're _family_?! She'll be surprised, but I'm sure it won't take her long to come around…at least I hope. She's expecting you to stay with us for a while over the summer anyway. I bet she'll actually be more worried about you flying all over Scotland looking for werewolves than about you shacking up with an old man! Once she gets over the shock, she'll probably be unbearably over excited about having another wedding. I wouldn't put it past her to have everything arranged ready for when you get back. Are you sure Snape is up for this? He's going to be cowering in fear and cursing the day he asked you by the time she's finished with him!"

"Hey! Less of the old! But you're probably right, I'd hardly be surprised if Sev ends up more afraid of your mother than he ever was of Voldemort!"

The rest of their final week passed in a nervous and tense state for Hannah. Her exams now seemed somewhat insignificant, and she seemed to breeze through them. Though he made no comment, Severus seemed to be becoming increasingly anxious about her imminent departure. Under Severus' advice, Hannah wrote to Newt Scamander, the author of _Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them_ in the hope that he would be able to give her some kind of clue as to where to begin her search. They didn't have much hope that he would reply favourably, but to their surprise, she received a short, but helpful reply.

Dear Hannah, I know Albus always spoke highly of you and considering recent events I trust that you will act with discretion. It has been many years, so I can merely suggest that you would do well to search near Loch Hope. Considering you're one of them, you should be welcome amongst them, so try not to worry too much. You'll only suffer twice if you do. Give them my regards.

Good luck and Best wishes, Newt.

Far too soon for Hannah's liking the students were packing up their belongings into their trunks and preparing for the journey home. For Hannah, Ron and Hermione, a strange mixture of relief, excitement and melancholy settled as they prepared to say goodbye to the castle that had been their home for so many years. Ron and Hermione headed home on the train one final time, but not seeing the point in travelling in such a cumbersome manner, and living with Severus anyway, Hannah decided that they would use the floo to visit the Weasley's the following day. Not having a great amount of love for the Weasley clan, it was a plan that Severus was not exactly happy with, and he expressed his irritation the morning they were due to leave.

"I really don't see why my presence is required. You are perfectly capable of informing Molly of our relationship _yourself_." He complained, and Hannah wondered if he was hiding some nervousness.

"Your presence is absolutely required. I doubt she'll believe me otherwise…it's a good job April fool's day has been and gone. Besides, I'm leaving tomorrow, and I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Why? Are you worried? I'm pretty sure you can defend yourself."

"I can assure you I have been through far more stressful situations than family gatherings…but I suppose you're right." Severus grumbled as he followed Hannah into the fireplace, took a handful of floo powder and clearly said; "The Burrow." In a flash of green light, Hannah and Severus arrived at the Weasley's home. Ron and Hermione were awaiting Hannah's arrival across the room, but Mrs Weasley had clearly been waiting too and quickly blocked Hannah's view by pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Oh, Hannah it's so good to see you! Why didn't you tell me about being bitten?! I had to find out via the newspapers, and everyone knows they can't be trusted! Come and have some brek…Severus? What on earth are…" Mrs Weasley stopped mid-sentence and angrily turned towards Ron and Ginny. "Couldn't you at least behave for the last few days? Heaven forbid you act sensibly for once in your life! Alright Severus, what's the damage this year?" In the corner of her eye, Hannah saw Ron looked a little smugger than she liked, and she took a deep breath as Severus crossed his arms, his face seemingly completely stoic.

"Actually Molly, Severus is here with me," Hannah said, her voice seemingly smaller than she remembered. Mrs Weasley looked surprised and looked between them.

"Well, Severus? You're not usually one to delay in complaining about Hannah's antics. What has she done to offend you this time that's so damning you'd personally escort her home?"

"No. I mean Severus is here _with me_. We're visiting _together_." Mrs Weasley looked confused, and it was obvious to Hannah that she had no idea what she was talking about, and was clearly wondering why on earth Severus, as Hannah's now former Professor would be accompanying her to the burrow.

"Oh…I see. Well, I'm happy that you're finally getting along. Albus always said it was a shame, considering you have so many things in common, but Severus, I thought you'd be busy what with it being the end of the school year? Not that…not that you're unwelcome of course!"

"No, I mean…Severus and I are visiting _together_ , as a…couple." Mrs Weasley once again looked between them and frowned.

"Oh, very funny. I didn't think you were one for practical jokes, Severus! You must be mellowing!" Hannah looked up at him helplessly, and Severus sighed loudly.

"What my fiancée is so ineloquently trying to explain, is that Hannah and I are in fact a couple. As Hannah feels that you're her family, she wishes for your help in arranging the wedding and to invite you all to attend." He said it with a perfectly straight face before smiling subtly at Hannah, and taking her hand. Looking furiously between them, Mrs Weasley finally got the message, and Hannah swore she could feel small sparks of magic radiating from her.

"Severus…Hannah…no…Severus… _just Severus_ …kitchen. Now!" Hannah made to follow, but Mrs Weasley gave her such a glare that she faltered for a second. Severus looked into Hannah's eyes, and she felt a familiar prickling in the back of her mind.

" _Stay here for a few minutes. She just needs to vent her anger. I'll deal with it. I can see why my presence is absolutely required_!" Hannah bit her lip and nodded, practically hearing the _some Gryffindor_ comment he only technically omitted.

"Bloody hell! Not even I've seen her that angry before! Good job he stepped in for you, otherwise you'd be going round in circles! I've never seen you act like such a chicken-wuss!" Ron said, looking far too amused for Hannah's liking.

After a good few minutes had passed, Hannah took a deep breath and cautiously entered the kitchen. Mrs Weasley must have used a silencing charm, and she stood at the door watching them animatedly shout at each other for a few seconds, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. It was only when she fully entered the room that she could hear anything they were saying.

"…advantage when she's vulnerable! You're twice her age…you better be looking after her, after everything that's happened…"

"Of course, I am! Not that she _needs it_ , she's an adult, and capable of making her own choices – you can't keep trying to wrap her up in…" As Hannah approached and took Severus' hand, Mrs Weasley sighed and crossed her arms.

"Please stop shouting at each other like children." She said more calmly than anyone else seemed to be capable of. "Molly, I can honestly say I've never been happier. If it wasn't for Severus…look I know it's unexpected. To us more than anyone, but we're completely serious and committed. Severus…he _understands_ …like nobody else _can_. Don't even try and bring up all that stuff about Voldemort, Sev's been protecting me for most of my life. I don't feel like I could ever love anyone as much as I love him, I don't really see how you could argue with that." They stood in awkward silence for a few moments, until Mrs Weasley sighed and shook her head staring at their entwined hands.

"There'll be no changing your mind about this will there?"

"No. You'd have had better luck telling me not to go running after Voldemort. This is the future that we want. For once in my life, _I_ want to control how my life will be, instead of everything being decided for me. I'm not going to let other people's disapproval stop me from being happy." Mrs Weasley's face softened at her words, and she looked slightly defeated. It was as if she was finally understanding and accepting something, and Hannah wondered if she was finally admitting to herself that Hannah was no longer a child.

"Well, I suppose it'll be nice to have a wedding to look forward to…"

"About that…I... I mean, I don't have anyone else…will you help with arranging the wedding and everything? You know finding a dress and…stuff?" Perhaps for the first time since their arrival, Mrs Weasley gave her a genuine smile and pulled her in for a warm hug.

"Of course, I will! I just worry about you, that's all! Look at you, all grown up and getting married."

"Thanks, Mrs…Molly." Hannah said. Severus smirked crookedly at Hannah, but as Mrs Weasley noticed she glared at him threateningly again.

"I'm still going to be keeping an eye on you, Severus. Don't you worry about that! If I even get a whiff of mistreatment, you'll be in as many pieces as Bellatrix Lestrange!"

"Molly, as Hannah's surrogate mother, I would expect nothing less from you. As it is, I have only the best of intentions. Hence, getting married." Taking in his words, it was Hannah's turn to raise an eyebrow at him, but he diligently ignored it. Mrs Weasley tensed her lips, but after a moment of obvious indecision, she sighed and relented to the fact that they were getting married at last.

The rest of the day passed more smoothly than Hannah could have hoped, and they were soon laughing about old times. Hannah told the Weasley's about her plans with the Ministry, but not wanting to antagonise Mrs Weasley any further, she omitted the fact that she was going to spend the next six weeks or so hunting down werewolves. Severus mostly kept himself to himself and quietly refused to involve himself with most of their conversations, so Hannah made her excuses, and they headed back to their quarters at Hogwarts early.

" _I thought you were supposed to be brave_?" Severus said sarcastically with a smirk, as they returned via the floo.

"Oh, come on! Remember how she reacted! I thought she was going to kill us!"

"Don't be so melodramatic. I assume you expect me to tell her where you are when she comes looking to make wedding plans in a few weeks?"

"I…um…yeah, I didn't have the heart to be like oh, we're getting married, but first I'm running away on my own to find werewolves."

"Are you sure you want to leave tomorrow? It's only a week until the full moon…"

"Exactly. I'll get to spend two full moons with them before I'm due to start at the Ministry. If Newt's letter was correct, I should find them quite quickly – Loch Hope is quite small." Severus snorted.

"Yeah…on a map of the _country_ …"

"Oh, shut up and make our last night together for a few weeks' worth remembering!" She said teasingly, as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Absolutely insatiable…" He muttered. "How I'm going to keep up with you, I've no idea. How will you manage without me for six weeks?"

"Yeah…it is going to be pretty unbearable…but think of the day I get home!"

The following morning seemed full of tension, and Hannah nervously packed her bag with all of the things she thought she might need. Mostly, this seemed to include the vast amount of potion ingredients and equipment she would need to brew the Wolfsbane. Shrinking her all of her belongings, and calling Edgar, they headed out into the castle grounds, neither really knowing what to say.

"I expect you to write within a few days, and certainly before, and after the full moon…"

"Yes, _Professor!_ " Hannah teased, nudging his arm.

"Not anymore," he uncharacteristically sang, and Hannah got the impression that it was somewhat of a relief for him.

"I'm still going to tease you with it from time to time. In twenty years I'm still going to be saying _yes, Professor_ , I guarantee!"

"Be serious. Please try and be sensible, if they appear hostile, you should just leave."

"I know…" He drew her in close and rested his forehead against hers. "Try not to worry too much. There are two things I'm good at – finding things and getting out of slippery situations!" She whispered.

"That's an understatement!" He reached into his pocket and passed her his wand. "I want you to take this with you. It's got nearly thirty years of experience behind it, and…well…my magic has been flowing through it for all that time too. It will feel like part of me is with you…" Hannah's eyes widened as she took the wand, feeling its warmth flow through her before pocketing it. She passed him hers, earning her a wistful smile.

"Severus! I never thought you'd be so sentimental! What is it you used to say about fools who wear their hearts on their sleeve?" He rolled his eyes at her and raised his eyebrows.

"Neither of us are weak, and… that's not the only thing I have for you." He reached into his pocket and brought out a small box. Hannah's eyes widened with delight, and she eagerly held her hand out for him to put the glistening ring where it belonged. He placed it on her finger, and it shrank to fit her perfectly, the emeralds glistening in the sunlight. If she wasn't about to leave, she'd spend more time admiring it.

"Thank you, Severus, it's beautiful." He stared at her for a moment before sighing wistfully.

"I did promise you'd have one before leaving. Now go, before I try and keep you here!" Not wanting to draw out their goodbyes, Hannah took one last good look at him before shrouding herself with the invisibility cloak, mounting her prized firebolt, and zooming off into the distance. Turning on the radio she'd attached to the handle of her broom, she steeled herself for whatever the next few weeks would bring.


	20. The Call of the Wild

Chapter Twenty

The call of the wild

Resisting the urge to just turn back and spend the summer with Severus, Hannah sped north as fast as the firebolt could carry her. To her amusement, Edgar had tried to keep up with her, but had quickly fallen behind. While she had a vague idea of her location thanks to her misadventures following the school train in her second year, the exact location of Hogwarts was a closely guarded secret. Feeling the need to get better bearings on her location she gradually ascended and stopped high in the air. She pulled out a map that Severus had given her, having pilfered it from the school library. It was ancient, but since she would be following Newt's advice, she only had to locate Loch Hope. After scrutinising the map for what seemed like far too long, Hannah finally recognised her location and folded away the map with relief. Luckily, the muggle roads looked like they could take her most of the way, all she really needed to do was follow them north and then east once she reached the coastline. With the aid of insane speed of the firebolt, she should easily reach the Loch by sunset, though she decided it would probably be best to set up camp and wait until morning to attempt to locate the village. Scowling at the _Great British_ weather that was _never_ on her side, despite the fact that it was the end of June, she sped north once more, attempting to disregard the heavy rainfall that was sure to chill her to the bone.

By the time evening was approaching, Hannah was completely drenched, exhausted and pretty sure she wouldn't be able to walk upright for a week, but she triumphantly hovered over a vast Loch, seemingly fairly isolated from civilisation. She had arrived, and not a minute too soon. Thunder was in the air, and it wouldn't be her finest hour if she was struck by lightning dallying about so far up in the sky. Descending quickly, she located a suitable camping spot hidden in the trees along the Loch's connecting river, and after setting up her tent and casting the necessary wards, she cast drying and warming charms, smirking at her inner voice telling her that Severus would be berating her for not simply casting a repelling charm in the first place. After setting up her potion supplies, brewing and downing the Wolfsbane as quickly as possible, she made herself a simple supper and headed to bed, hoping that she wouldn't be camping in the same spot tomorrow.

Camping always made it impossible to sleep past the first light of dawn, and Hannah peered outside her tent to see Edgar sleeping soundly in the nearest tree. Thankfully, the weather had cleared up, and she magically cooked some sausages she had packed the previous day for her and Edgar's breakfast. An uneasy, and even ominous feeling of being watched started to creep in as she ate, but she dismissed it, and with a wave of her wand, she packed up her supplies intending to mount her broom and search the area around the Loch for clues. As she picked up her broomstick, however, Edgar sped off cawing loudly, and in the corner of her eye she saw two extremely large wolves, mostly hidden in the vegetation. She froze, uneasy and unsure. Edgar was still cawing defensively and flapping around the wolves as if trying to fend them off.

"Edgar…" She whispered, "Get back here…don't cause trouble…" Edgar flew back to her and landed ungracefully on her shoulder, but continued to stare in the wolves' direction. The wolves stepped out of hiding and sat staring at her, the one sniffing the air as is trying to detect something as the other sneered at her menacingly. They were almost identical in markings – both typical grey wolves, but they had large frighteningly intelligent eyes exactly like werewolves, though Hannah knew better than most that such a thing was impossible. If Hannah hadn't been so distracted by the snarling, and her racing mind trying to decide how to proceed, she'd have thought them rather beautiful. She raised her wand and summoned sparks hoping to scare them away, but their stares evolved into a sort of mocking look - as if asking her if that was the best she could do, and Hannah found herself wondering. Perhaps these _were_ werewolves, and they somehow knew how to change at will.

"Can you understand me?" She asked, receiving no reply, though she saw the ears of one of the wolves pick up. The same wolf turned and briskly started to run away, the other following after a few seconds. Gut instinct told her to follow these strange wolves that definitely did not belong in the Scottish wilderness, and she quickly mounted her broom and followed them as close to the ground as she could.

Within a few minutes, the wolves had run half the distance of the Lock, but they abruptly stopped in their tracks in front of a small stone statue of a wolf that she swore had been laced with charms to conceal it, because she would never have noticed it had it not been brought to her attention.

"Well, well…look what you've brought home with you…I suppose you never do know what can crawl out of the woods these days." Hannah jumped as the voice of an ageing woman pierced the air from behind her, and she frantically shoved her borrowed wand in her pocket, paling at the fact that she had just dismounted her broomstick and had neglected to wear her invisibility cloak. There was never a good time for awkward questions from muggles.

"Don't be foolish girl! As if a muggle would regard a wooden stick as suspicious when dogs are around, besides anyone can tell that's no ordinary broom!" Hannah turned to look at the woman. She appeared to be in her seventies, or even eighties. She was a thin but sprightly looking woman with a round face and long messy grey hair. Despite wearing a simple muggle dress and cardigan, she was wielding a beaten up looking wand and eyeing Hannah up and down doubtfully.

"Werewolf, are you? Well if you've come here to tell us another sob story you can twiddle off back where you came from! We'll not be involving ourselves in any wars or childish feuds today, or any other day!" The wolves had both sat by the woman almost submissively, and she ran her fingers through the fur of the nearest wolf.

"No! I'm here looking for others…like me, to see how they live, and to learn… I'm sorry but who are you?" The woman scrutinised her for a few moments, and her eyes lingered on the scar on her forehead. Hannah smoothed her fringe out to cover it, but it was too late, the woman had already taken note of it.

"Larentia, at least that's what they call me these days. What was it they called you…Potter was it? You're that child they sent off to kill that ridiculous man with the superiority complex…what was his name…some pretentious name for flying death or something…" Hannah gaped at the woman in disbelief, and she wondered if this woman had been living in the dark ages for the past fifty years.

"Voldemort. He called himself Voldemort. You don't need to worry about him, he died just over a year ago." The woman looked into the distance dreamily, and spoke as if talking to herself.

" _Hannah Potter_ …Hurtled into the chaos, you fight... and the world will shake before you. Is it fate or chance? I can never decide." Grimacing, Hannah silently agreed that she most definitely had been hurtled into the chaos _repeatedly_ since birth.

"Chance, I'd say. Though determination and strength of will count for something… I can't accept that fate decides our path, that would make everything pointless wouldn't it? If everything was predetermined what difference would our choices make? Random chance and our own decisions decide our…lives," Hannah said awkwardly, realising too late that the woman's question was rhetorical. The woman laughed in short, abrupt bursts, and eyed Hannah shrewdly.

"I gather from your overwhelming humility that you defeated him in battle? An unwilling heroine you may have been, but I suspect the world is grateful for it. Even in our little corner of the world we hear tales of dark wizards and those who rally against them."

"I _did_ defeat him but…well, I had a lot of help." The woman eyed Hannah's scar on her arm and sighed.

"That scar is not yet a year old, you were bitten shortly after your victory. _Chance_ certainly is ironic. Your presence here then is not chance. If you're here to learn the so-called ways of the werewolf, then I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. We're simple folk living simple lives, and there are so few of us now. Besides, our Lycanthrope only lasts a few hours a month you know," she said rolling her eyes. "But…I insist you stay in the village as long as you'd like, I doubt anyone will object to your presence. I daresay it'll be nice to have a fresh face about the place. The only visitors we've had the past few decades have been trying to recruit us for one thing or another. They succeeded too, most of the young ones went off to war and never came back. It's a shame that so many left. Fenrir was so regrettably convincing, there was little I could do. The young can be so very foolish, and when Remus came knocking several months later, the youngsters left unconvinced by Fenrir found themselves following him instead. Those of us that remain were too young, or too old, and I dare not consider the battles they fought against each other." Gesturing to the wolves still sat by her side, Larentia turned towards the stone effigy, watching as her wolf companions nudged the stone with their noses and disappeared. It was obviously a portkey.

"You knew Remus? He came here? He was…he taught at Hogwarts for a while. He was like a father to me in a way."

"Fitting, considering." She nodded sadly at Larentia, contemplating just how far-reaching the war had been and how many people she must have lost too.

"The werewolves in the war…most of them fought against us. But the ones with Remus…"

"It is of little consequence," Larentia said firmly. "They made their choice. I'm sure some of them survived to tell the tale." Hannah nodded wishing she'd had the foresight to look into just what had happened to her fellow werewolves after the war. She'd been far too wrapped up in herself and Severus, and she felt remarkably selfish.

"You're willing to let me stay with you? You'd trust me? Just like that?"

"Of course not, but I've heard good things about you, Hannah Potter. You first, I'm sure my daughters will be awaiting your arrival on the other side, they seem quite taken with you. You should be proud, they dislike almost everyone, it's their job – keeps the muggles away. _Most of them anyway_. I'll be right behind you." Hannah's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"But, I haven't met your daughters, have I?"

"What, you thought they were normal wolves? You _do_ have a lot to learn, my child. Living so closely with so many other wolves does have its consequences, they were conceived under the full moon. My husband was hardly impressed, but what can you do? I wouldn't recommend it…imagine spending two and a half months stuck as a wolf. I can tell you the novelty fades away quickly…" Hannah blushed at the idea, though she supposed that without the wolfsbane potion…well, she thought, what happens under the full moon, stays under the full moon, except for when you give birth to the evidence that is.

"Wait…does that mean…if you're…with child as a human do you…"

"Bypass the gifts that come with the full moon? Ha! You should be so lucky!"

Placing her hand on the sitting stone wolf, Hannah felt herself pulled from one location to another. Gathering her bearings quickly, she took in her surroundings as she found herself in the middle of a relatively small village. Several stone cottages came into view, and she could see the sea in the distance in almost every direction. She was on a small island. Larentia had been correct, her two wolf daughters were sat patiently waiting, but for whom, she did not know. Larentia appeared behind her a few moments later and briskly walked towards the largest house in the area. As they approached the house a portly, cheery looking man came out to greet them.

"Well, well, it's not often we have visitors in these parts! Malcom Robertson, at your service! And who might you be, lass?" He held his hand out to Hannah, and she shook it with a smile.

"Hannah Potter."

"Bloomin heck! Practically royalty you are! So, how'd you get bitten? I mean, you must have been bitten for Nuntis and Accalia to allow you into our midst. They don't take well to non-wolves, too many good instincts in em."

"Tactful as ever!" Larentia said with a frown before leading Hannah into her home. " _This_ is the only muggle to ever be foolish enough to ignore the _many_ charms intended to scare, intimidate, or confuse people away from the island. Any sane person would steer their boat _away_ from a wall of water, and _away_ from a pack of hungry wolves!"

"Aye, but you're the fool that married him! Was it the guilt for biting me? You never did apologise!" Malcom said smirking as Larentia glared menacingly at him, something that only seemed to amuse him. Hannah looked around the plainly decorated house, and it seemed to her that there was little evidence that a witch lived in it at all. She noted a few wizarding artefacts and books, but most of the house's contents would have fitted in perfectly in any country house in Britain.

"No, but I have endured _you_ for the last thirty years…make yourself at home Hannah," Larentia said, gesturing towards a comfy armchair that Hannah made herself comfortable in.

"Hang on, you're a muggle werewolf?" Hannah asked in astonishment.

"Aye, and I can tell you it's not easy being the only one without any magical skills in _this_ village. But I suppose Larentia's got enough of that for the both of us!"

"Enough Malcom, Hannah's requested that she stay in the village for the time being. She should stay here, where I can keep an eye on her. Why is it you're here again?" Larentia said, looking over Hannah confusedly.

"Um…well, the law doesn't exactly treat werewolves kindly. I'm going to be starting a new job at the Ministry soon, and I was wondering how werewolves could be helped. You know, so that people don't discriminate as much…well, that and I want to know how werewolves cope having to live in isolation." Hannah squirmed as Larentia and Malcom stared at Hannah as if she was the village idiot, and it didn't escape her notice that she probably was the village idiot right know.

"Oh, how sweet," Larentia said sarcastically. "The girl is here to help her inferiors improve their lives and to better the state of inter-creature relations. We don't require your help, child. It seems you're more in need of ours. That's an awful lot of potion making equipment you've been carrying, and you should know, we don't transform under the influence here. We embrace what we are, perhaps we can teach you to do the same." Hannah paled as she realised she'd likely be abandoning her potion for the next two full moons, and the fact that she had probably just gravely insulted Larentia on the first day.

"I didn't mean any disrespect, I'm a werewolf too remember! I just mean…wouldn't it be better not to have to hide? And if you don't take the Wolfsbane, how do you not…you know…"

"Attack people? We're on an _island_ …though accidents do occasionally happen. The last one is currently standing in front of you. Muggles generally don't come across us, and few wizards seem to have the inclination. Though a few Ministry folk have come and gone. Not to mention Mr Scamander, though that seems long ago. He had similar ideas running through his head too. Spend some time here and you may just find that you don't need the rest of the wizarding world, we outcasts have lived here for generations. There's something to be said for living life by your own rules you know! Perhaps spending some time with Connor would be beneficial to you? He's about your age, you never know, you could find yourself too _attached_ to leave." Hannah took a few seconds to process everything Larentia had just said while brushing her fingers over the glistening ring that Severus had given her, and she hoped that he hadn't inadvertently been correct when he said they'd try and keep a young female to pair up and boost their numbers.

"I should tell you, I'm engaged," Hannah said sternly. Larentia barked her short laugh once more, sounding thoroughly amused.

"Engaged, she says. Such things can be undone. Does he even know about your _gift_?"

"Yes, of course! It was Severus – my fiancée that helped me get through everything. He teaches at Hogwarts, so he was there when I was…" Larentia continued to laugh, almost in a cruel manner that irritated Hannah.

"Engaged to your own teacher, how scandalous! I _bet_ he taught _you_ a thing or two! Are you quite sure you don't want to trade him in for a younger man? Take a look at Connor. Young…good looking…" Larentia passed Hannah a photo of an admittedly strikingly good-looking young man with a kind face and kind, bright blue eyes.

"Now, now leave her be. As you know all too well, the heart wants what the heart wants." Hannah smiled gratefully at Malcom's interruption and hoped that Larentia wouldn't press the issue any further. She certainly wasn't looking to trade Severus in for another, and she felt perfectly content with her choice in partner. Their relationship was hard won after-all, and she smiled at Edgar who'd loyally followed her as she silently reminded herself to write to Severus later.

"Yes, and I know what the heart wants is not always beneficial to us. She needs someone with the same…interests. Where is our wayward son anyway? He should introduce himself, either way, he does live here…"

20th June 1999

Dearest Severus,

So much has already happened that I'm not quite sure where to begin, so I'll just have to start by saying that I'm missing you already, and I love you. That's rather an obvious thing for me to say, but it's true! Luckily, Newt Scamander was correct (I think I owe that guy a drink, whoever he is.) The village is still there, and I've been taken in by a woman going by the name of Larentia, and her muggle (but werewolf!) husband Malcom. She's an infuriatingly enigmatic woman, I haven't quite figured her out yet. Her son Connor seems okay, though a little hostile. I'm not too worried, I think he's just a little suspicious of me. I'm sure we will be friends soon. Larentia has two wolf daughters – you know, like the wolves Albus released into the forbidden forest a few years back. I trust you know what her having children means – we'll talk about it when I get back. I guess that stuff can wait, it's not really for letters. Anyway, everyone seems very welcoming, and I already feel at home. They're not at all hostile like you worried – so don't worry! I suppose I'll have to catch you up with the small details when I return. I hope everything's good your end, and that you're having a nice break from "enduring my company."

Sending you all my love – Hannah x

21st June

Hannah,

Congratulations on finding the village so quickly – those good instincts of yours do come in handy from time to time. I noticed the weather turned soon after you left, so I hope you used the appropriate spells to keep safe and warm! After all the important things Newt Scamander has done, and you write "whoever he is" how disappointing!

I'd be cautious of this Larentia, anyone with the gall to fashion themselves after such a name must surely have a vastly over-inflated ego. I sense you're feeling safe already, and that's good, but always keep your wits about you – especially as you've just met everyone. Sometimes I fear you can be far too trusting. I don't want to discover that you have inadvertently joined some sort of cult! I'm missing having to endure your company somewhat more than you realise, the castle is far too quiet without you. I'm going to return to our home for the summer. As to children, especially wolf children – you already know my feelings on this issue. Make sure to write after the full moon.

Yours - Always, Severus.

24th June

Hannah,

Your blasted friends were practically knocking down the door of our house looking for you this morning! Couldn't you have at least told them where you were? I was forced to explain the situation to them over the tea they promptly demanded of me. Not to mention the bloody Weasley boy has shamelessly eaten me out of house and home! What he reports to the rest of his clan is no longer my concern! I don't know what you have been saying to them, but they seem to believe that just because the two of us are generally together, they can turn up unannounced and invade my home. I long for the days they feared me. Whatever they seem to think, I am not their friend, and they're far too comfortable around me!

Your always irritated fiancé, Severus

26th June

Hey Sev,

So here I am, writing to you after the full moon. I remember far more of last night than I thought I would, considering my absence of mind. I have neglected to tell you that I have been instructed not to take Wolfsbane while here. Of course, I was very nervous last night, but I must begrudgingly admit going feral without the risk of attacking you (or anyone else) was somewhat of a strange relief. It felt like a bunch of pent-up energy I didn't even know was there was released last night. I always assumed that werewolves were solitary, but it seems not. I definitely remember the other wolves distracting me from human hunting at least (let me just reiterate the fact that I'm on a werewolf only island! Gelert they call it) Connor has slowly been warming up to me. We spend a lot of time together, but I guess that's just natural considering we're similar in age. Most of the young people here seem to have been coerced into leaving by Fenrir just before the war. Though apparently, Remus convinced a few too. I'm going to have to see if I can track anyone down when I return. Of course, I've been gushing about you far too much – Connor seems to be very curious about our relationship. He seems to be under the impression that all non-werewolves would shun those of us with the gift. I guess it's difficult for him – he's never really interacted with the rest of wizard-kind. I guess that's why I'm here – people need to have a choice, not be forced in or out of a community.

All my love, Hannah x

PS. As to my friends – my friends are your friends, so you better just get used to it!

28th June

Potter,

Don't call me Sev. I trust your judgement regarding the Wolfsbane, but I cannot say I approve of your abstinence from it. I can see why you would want to experience the full moon in a natural state, but it seems to me that you're taking risks. Anything could happen under the full moon. I hope you're not taking anything this Connor boy is saying too seriously. You know how I feel about you – the lycanthrope is entirely irrelevant, though I must begrudgingly admit it helped bring us together. That's an important fact – it brought us closer _together_ , not further _apart_! This Connor sounds far too melodramatic to me. What on earth have they been teaching the boy? You should inform him that even with the state of things now, there is still a life for him and the others amongst the rest of the wizarding community. That is something I hope you will remember too!

Yours – Always, Severus

PS. I'm missing you more than I care to admit. I fully intend to thoroughly welcome you home.

1st July

Sev,

You better keep your promise to thoroughly welcome me back! I'm not sure what I expected, but I didn't expect for things to be quite so _normal_ here. I mean, I didn't expect to find some exotic tribe hiding out in the middle of Scotland, but day to day life here is pretty much the same as anywhere. Other than Larentia and her family, there are a handful of other households – all of magical blood, and about fifty people in all. Almost everyone seems to have come here looking for seclusion, and a sense of belonging that cannot be offered elsewhere. To my surprise, many of the residents work for a local _muggle_ fishing company, and their income goes a long way toward funding the things they cannot provide for themselves. I'm betting that a few underhanded spells are used to improve their catch! They're pretty self-sufficient - they keep animals and grow crops, but there are some things you simply have to buy. I mean, even wizards need the materials to make clothes right? It's a good job werewolves have no interest in anything other than humans. I doubt normal wolves would be able to resist the large collection of cows, pigs, sheep, and goats they keep here! Speaking of wolves, Nuntis and Accalia have taken to following me everywhere! If I didn't know better, I'd say they were spying on me…then again perhaps they are. I have no idea how Larentia communicates with them, but they have an uncanny ability to assist her in any way she demands. I shouldn't be surprised, but it's unnerving to see such intelligence in an animal – is that how you feel when you look at me on the

Anyway, my point is that I'm not really sure if anything I can do would make any difference here. Most of the people here have chosen this life, and seem content with their lot. Those that weren't already left when Fenrir, or Remus to fight in the war. Sometimes I can be terribly naïve. Me and my hero complex! Hope you're not getting too bored all alone in the cottage without me!

Wishing you were here with me – Hannah x

3rd July

Hannah,

It sounds like you feel your little adventure is somewhat anticlimactic. It makes a change – you should see it as a positive sign. Other than improving the public's perspective, and ensuring that people are not discriminated against by law, I think you're probably correct. You can't force these things, and it sounds like the people you have met do not dislike their lives. Compare theirs to the upheaval that we have witnessed over the past few years. Sounds like they've had an easy time if you ask me. Though admittedly their life sounds rather dull and uninspired. I cannot say whether I wish mine had turned out that way – Undoubtedly, I suspect it would have been better than joining the Death Eaters.

I have repeatedly warned you about your hero complex – I'm far too exasperated with it to comment any further. As to being bored all alone in my cottage – you are correct. I eagerly await your return.

If you were wondering – no, I find your intelligent eyes during the full moon vastly comforting, not unnerving. Larentia's wolves most likely are keeping an eye on you. Watch out for them, they could be communicating mentally, in a similar fashion to us.

Yours - Always, Severus

PS. Minerva visited. She wishes you luck, or at least she requested I pass on her luck after lecturing me for about an hour on how I better take good care of you and keep you safe. As if I haven't always tried to do that! The stinging hex she threw at me for not going with you remains irritating an hour after she left. Her formidable power ensures that I remain exceptionally grateful she was on our side.

5th July,

Severus,

I've always found Minerva a force to be reckoned with, but she has a heart of gold – she's a Gryffindor! I think you're right. The people here don't need help per se. What they need is to realise that they don't have to hide anymore. Apparently, it was Larentia's own grandmother who founded the community. I'm partially in awe of her and her family – they chose this life. When given the option to leave, they chose to become werewolves instead. I dread to think how they become infected after making their choice. When I talked about them leaving the village Larentia outright laughed at me and asked what the point in that would be. I don't think any of them can conceive of a life away from here, and I know now that whatever happens in the outside world must seem irrelevant to them. Time just goes on, the same as it always does. I guess that's not a bad thing. To be perfectly content with your life just as it is – that's something we can all aspire too, isn't it?

Connor now seems to be the most willing to consider leaving, not that inspiring an exodus is my purpose here! He was home-schooled, but several generations without a proper education have taken their toll, and I've somehow ended up teaching him some of the most basic spells. I have to admit, he could end up being one of my closest friends. I hope that he'll keep in contact with me when I leave. Perhaps I could invite him to the wedding? That'll help him get out and meet some new people.

Looking forward to seeing you again!

All my love – Hannah x

8th July

Hannah,

I'm glad that you have found someone you can connect with, but I hope you're not trying to replace me! I'm hardly surprised you have found yourself teaching – that would be a good career for you if you ever change your mind. Let Edgar rest for a few days – he's looking a little tired after so many letters. Magic can only get him so far!

If it helps, I believe I will be entirely content with my life – just as soon as you return to me!

Yours – Always, Severus

15th July

Sev,

Sorry, I would have written sooner, but I've been distracted (and I wanted to follow your advice of letting Edgar rest – I think he's pretty grateful!)

Connor has been trying to convince me to stay here. I can see how a tranquil life away from the rest of the world could be appealing, but it's pretty ironic that I've been trying to convince him that there's a life elsewhere when he's been thinking about trying to get me to make my life here. I keep telling him that I have you, my friends and my career to go home to, but these things seem to confuse him – especially the career part. I guess he's used to a much slower pace of life than we are! I'm starting to worry that he has ulterior motives – if you know what I mean. This afternoon I was talking about how I was excited about returning to you, and how I was looking forward to our wedding. I invited him, but he gently took my hand and said that he couldn't bear to witness it. I'm not sure exactly what he means by that. Larentia is always watching us. _Always_ watching. Sometimes it feels like she's put him up to something. I think they're studying me as much as I'm studying them! I'm really starting to miss you now, it feels like I've been away from home for much longer than a few weeks. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be without you for so long. That sounds woefully dependant of me, doesn't it?

On an unrelated topic I found out Larentia's true age today, and that leads to an unpleasant fact that I think I already knew but wasn't ready to face. I thought she could rival Dumbledore in age, but it turns out she's a mere 75…everyone here looks older than they really are. I suppose the people here age more like muggles than wizards. Do you think that means I'll have a muggle life expectancy? Will you still love me even though I'm going to be old and grey before my time?

Forever yours, Hannah x

17th July

Hannah Lily Potter

I pose the same question back to you. Will you still love me when I'm old and grey? Ageing is inevitable. Such inconsequentialities you worry about! I suspect you will live longer than a muggle – I'll make sure you do, because I'm not going to be without you! You're going to be stuck with me for the rest of my life Hannah Potter!

As to Connor – You're blind. How you can be so completely oblivious to his advances I'll never know! The boy is obviously besotted with you, and my advice is to set him straight. Immediately. His mother obviously has plans for the two of you. Such a community is always going to be seeking young new members – I'm starting to worry that this Gelert village of yours really is a cult!

I suspect you're starting to feel nervous over the coming full moon. You've neglected to tell me whether you have been taking your potions, but I assume not. I hope you know what you're doing, and be careful! I wish to inform you that I have no intention of raising a litter of puppies if this Connor cannot keep his paws to himself, and I don't want to see you get hurt! I can only assume something of the sort happened with Larentia.

Yours – Always, Severus

19th July

Sev,

Thanks for your comforting words. I see your point, though I suspect you will age rather better than I will, all things considered. I'm glad you realise that you're stuck with me forever!

I do wear glasses for a reason you know! I don't always trust myself to cast that handy spell you gave me to correct my vision. Point is – yes, I'm blind. I reaffirmed my commitment to you, but this didn't seem to affect his demeanour at all. There's something about a lot of young men that's kind of arrogant isn't there? Anyway, I seriously hope that comment about puppies was a joke! Ha Ha…very funny. Like I would let something like that happen!

I'm actually kind of excited for the full moon – I doubt I'll be forgoing the Wolfsbane again after this. Wish me luck!

All my love – Hannah x

21st July

Hannah,

Good luck and Godspeed, my love.

Forever Yours – Always, Severus

24th July

My dear Severus,

I love you. I will only ever want you, just as you are. Remember that as you read, and remember that I'm coming home next Saturday.

Something happened today, but don't get angry. As you know, it was the full moon last night. I only have vague recollections, as I once again abstained from the Wolfsbane. I know you disapprove, but it is one of the conditions of my being allowed to stay here, and I cannot deny the lack of symptoms the Wolfsbane brings forth is a welcome relief. There is an allure to this village that cannot be denied. The wolf within me yearns to stay, even though the human me cannot wait to hold you again. It yearns for freedom, and the ability to lose ones-self to instinct. To the call of the wild, the song that sings to our primitive nature. I don't even know what the wolf wants, but I can see why those who remain here see it as a gift. The ability to yield to nature, and to become an animal in the mind as well as the body…somehow, it's a relief to the psyche– perhaps especially for me. I guess…well, you know why. I digress, that's not what this letter's about, not really. I've been talking about Connor in my previous letters. He's a friend. A good friend, but he doesn't want to be _just_ friends. You already knew that. I'm obviously a dunderhead. Even without the Wolfsbane, the day after the full moon is trying, but the people here are more used to it than I am. You know how I am, and how long I can sleep for the following day. I wasn't thinking clearly. Sorry, I'm avoiding the issue again, and I'm making unreasonable excuses. I guess the short version is that Connor kissed me, and I don't mean in a friendly way.

I'm sorry, and please reread my first two sentences again.

I'm ashamed to say that I didn't resist him, at least not at first, though with the aid of your wand I sent him flying into the Lock moments later. We were arguing, and I don't know, I was missing you, and he reminded me of you, and...it's inexcusable. He's not you, and yet…perhaps in another life. If you didn't want me, or if you weren't here maybe….I'm sorry, perhaps there are things you shouldn't know, but I love, respect and trust you far too much not to tell you everything. I know you're going to be very angry with me, and I totally deserve that. He doesn't think I should be with someone that's not…I would say werewolf, but I'm starting to think it's just him. He doesn't think I should be with anyone that's not him. He said some very hurtful things about how I shouldn't marry outside of my kind, and that I should pick him instead. He even uncharacteristically offered to leave Gelert for me. I can assure you, I'm of a completely different opinion.

Anyway, you should know that I intend to avoid him for my final few days here. I certainly made my anger at his unwanted affections clear- or at least your wand did for me I guess. If you want to see how events unfolded in my memories when I return, then I'm okay with that.

I will be forever and only yours, Hannah x

25th July

Severus,

Edgar returned to me this morning without any reply. He even bit me a few times – see the blood smears on the paper? I trust this is your way of punishing me. I understand, but please forgive me. After all – it's not like I reciprocated! I'm sending Edgar back with instructions not to return until he gets some sort of reply. I'd write before he does the same to your fingers as he did to mine!

Yours – Always, Hannah x

26th July

Potter,

Was it entirely necessary to make that bloody bird demand a reply? I trust that your conscience will instruct you, just as it always does. If you wish to stay, then that's your prerogative. Take a few days to think about what you want and commit to your decision.

SS. Encase you've forgotten who you fiancée is.

27th July

Severus,

I don't need time to think– you know that. You can expect me home early tomorrow, there's little point spending any more time here – I've learnt all I can and I'm eager to be with you again.

Forever yours, and your future wife – H. Prince


	21. Tibi Solum

Chapter Twenty One

Tibi solum

Everything had been organised. The officials had been informed, the venue arranged, invites sent out, the food, even the bloody flowers. While the Weasley matriarch hadn't been the easiest woman to convince, he'd even arranged for the ceremony to take place at the burrow on the 31st July – her birthday. It was all go, all he was waiting for was her agreement. Just when all had been arranged, his certain and happy mind had been thrown into uncertain turmoil. Perhaps he should have known better. He'd just gotten used to the idea that she wanted him above any other, when that loathsome feathered creature, seemingly intent on its own destruction brought him news of another potential suitor for his lover. Despite her assurances that she only loved him and no other, he couldn't help but despair at the thought that this man-child Connor could potentially be a better match for her than he was.

Scowling at the rain through the darkening window of his kitchen, Severus practically growled as he caught sight of Edgar, the bearer of his current mire. The last time the bird visited it refused to leave until it was given a reply, however short. Letting the bird in through the window while willing himself not to curse the messenger, he took the note attached to its leg and read it with mild relief. Sensing that Edgar did indeed fear his pending execution, Severus gently pet the bird. Hannah would be home in the morning. Her reply seemed so sure, and was as short as his own. She'd have him after all, though deep down he knew that to be true already. Why she couldn't just have waited until she saw him to explain everything, he didn't know. It seemed like a torturous thing to do – to tell your fiancée about dalliances with other men that may or may not be serious. She'd even confessed that if she hadn't met him… Still frowning, he stared at the yew wand on the table, the single object she'd left with him. Its formidable power and magical memory of her his only comfort over the past few weeks.

For as much as he loved her, he was still angry at her transgression, and he wondered if there was anything she'd omitted. He couldn't help imagining her with this handsome young man. A _much younger_ man, and likely foolish, brash and somehow far more deserving of her. Perhaps she'd enjoyed it far more than she'd implied, perhaps it wasn't even just a kiss, what if she'd jumped into his bed since then? She could easily have just apparated straight home, what if she was considering her options? He shook his head at his thoughts and sighed. Hannah was very open and honest, that was all. Knowing her ridiculous sense of morality, she probably just couldn't bear keeping it secret from him, even for a few days. Or, perhaps knowing his temper, she thought it best to give him time to calm down before seeing him in person. But what if he'd forced her? She did say she attacked him immediately after. His anger was almost palpable at the thought, though he knew she'd had far too much practise defending herself to be overcome by some untrained teenager.

Resigning himself to the fact that for better or worse, he would probably get all the answers he wanted in the morning, Severus headed to bed fully expecting to experience another sleepless night.

HP

Her hand tightly gripping Severus' wand and all of her things packed away, Hannah prepared herself to apparate home. She'd said some emotional but hasty goodbyes to Larentia and Malcolm who'd almost become like second parents, despite Larentia's eccentricities. Larentia had left her with a chilling statement; "We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly," and she could only assume that the overly enigmatic sentiment was referring to Hannah's unwilling influence on the rest of wizarding Britain.

She'd just reached the outskirts of the village when she heard a familiar voice calling out to her, and she unconsciously played with the beautiful ring Severus had given her.

"Hannah! You don't have to go…you could stay here…with us, with _me_. This is where you belong, and you know it!"

"Connor…if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times! You just…sometimes you have to know when to give up…It's time. I need to return to my life, to Severus, to my friends."

"You have friends here, Hannah! You could be happy _here_!" She shook her head sadly surveying his teary sapphire eyes.

"Connor…you know…this small corner of the world…I can see why staying here would feel safe and comforting, but there is a world _elsewhere_ …there's no reason you can't leave too. I'd help you find your feet…" He shook his head miserably and took a step closer to her.

"And what would your _fiancée_ say about that? I saw that last letter he wrote, doesn't sound all that forgiving to me. Sounds like a jealous twat!"

"As long as you kept yourself _to yourself_ , he wouldn't give a crap. If he's angry, it's entirely your fault! Don't forget _Connor_ , we're the monsters here, not Severus!"

"That was below the belt. Is that why you're getting married to him, so you can feel more like a normal human? Well guess what Hannah, you're not normal, you're special." Raising her eyebrows, Hannah couldn't help but find the comment laughable. If he'd known anything about Severus' past and nature, he'd never accuse him of being anything as mundane and boring as 'normal.'

"You're totally clueless, you have no idea of the things we witnessed. The things he's done, the things I've done. You've just been hiding away all of your life. Yes, the world can be a scary place, and there's a lot of stupid, prejudiced people out there, but things will get better. They are getting better, and I hope to play my part in that. Severus or no Severus, I cannot do that here." Her tone had a sense of finality to it, and when Connor finally spoke, he sounded defeated as he took her hand.

"You're a formidable woman, Hannah. I doubt anyone could force you into anything you don't want. Not that I want…you know you'll always be welcome here. Write to me won't you?"

"I will. I promised to write to your parents too, remember. Take care of yourself…" Whispering the last sentence, Hannah turned her back on Connor, donned her invisibility cloak and nervously apparated just outside Severus' home, _her home_.

Hannah nervously looked up at the small stone cottage she would now be calling home and smiled to herself. She'd been waiting to return to his home since she'd angrily fled during the Easter holidays, and despite the woefully small amount of time she had spent there, she'd missed the place. Somehow, it really did feel like coming home. Perhaps it was purely because Severus would be there. He'd clearly been tending to the garden in her absence, and many of the plants they had planted were in full bloom – particularly the wolfsbane, valerian and passiflora that they had planted before their 'guest' had arrived on that most unfortunate of afternoons. Severus had obviously been bored throughout the summer because the garden was now full of plants giving it even more of a country cottage feel – a suitable place for a witch and wizard to live, she thought. Smiling at the thought that Severus had obviously been taking special care of the plants needed for her potion, Hannah headed to the front door in trepidation. He was probably going to be very angry with her, but all she could do was apologise, and hope beyond all that was holy that he would keep his promise and refuse to let her go.

She had just been about to take off her invisibility cloak when she noticed that two voices were coming from inside. One voice she would recognise anywhere, and the other steady, well-articulated and feminine tone was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Casting a quick silencing charm around her, she opened the front door and snuck inside like a thief in the night. The muffled voices were coming from the kitchen, and she silently entered the room, seemingly unnoticed before finding herself staring at Narcissa Malfoy across the room. Severus was standing almost as far from the woman as he could in the small space and Hannah took in his features. He looked tired and slightly dishevelled, and she noticed he'd neglected to shave for the past few days. It didn't matter. He was still the most beautiful sight in the world to her, and she knew she shouldn't be hiding away from him in plain sight, but she was far too curious as to what Mrs Malfoy was doing here of all places.

"…never took the dark mark, unlike others I could mention. I don't see why you're marrying _her_ , Severus. Is it fame? Money? I suppose I can see how a young, tight body might be appealing to someone…"She looked him up and down as if assessing him, but Severus simply stared at her with a blank expression, though Hannah thought she saw his eyes flicker towards her location briefly.

"Hiding in plain sight is the best place to be after all. Getting married to Hannah Potter is a sure way to avoid suspicion wouldn't you say? Her young, tight body is merely an added benefit." Hannah bit her lip, trying not to laugh, though she couldn't completely stop the comment from making her feel a little insecure.

"I'm sure," she said tersely, clearly doubting him. "I know you were against the Dark Lord, Severus. _She_ saw to it that everyone knows, but I've always respected you. We both simply did what we needed to do to keep ourselves and those we care about alive, wouldn't you agree?"

"I cannot disagree with that statement."

"I know you, Severus. You're not the type to marry for convenience, nor do you need to. That means you feel something for her. Did you know I saved her life? I lied to his face, saying she was dead. You of all people know how much skill that took. Where is the girl? It was her I wanted to speak to."

"What is it you want, Narcissa?"

"I require a favour. A favour for a favour you could say."

"You'll _require_ no such thing…"

"Hear me out Severus, I'm not my husband."

"I don't see you renouncing him either."

"For old times' sake, please? We were friends once. Lucius too." He sighed and gestured for her to continue.

"It's a small thing. Tiny. As you know my families reputation…well, it's not going to be easy for us. I only want for Hannah to put in a good word at the Ministry on behalf of my Son. _Your godson_. The Malfoy name is tarnished, and I hoped…maybe you could use your…influence with the girl to garnish her favour."

"You want to buy him a position at the Ministry? How surprising," he sneered.

"I want for him to be free of his father's misdeeds."

"And yours. You may not have taken the mark, but you were still complicit Narcissa, don't pretend otherwise. Draco took it too, though he was free to choose not to fall so far from grace."

"And so were you. Neither of you chose death, that's what it would have been to refuse. He's your godson Severus, surely you have some affection for him?" At that, Severus looked unsure.

"He could become a better man than Lucius by far, but I suggest…you ask Hannah, not me. It's not my place to decide anything for her and I'm not going to try and sway her either way." Severus said, his tone indicating that the conversation was over.

"I can understand why a man might want to get his leg over a young girl, but what does she see in _you_? How on Earth did you get her into your bed? She could probably have anyone she wanted. I'd even hand over Draco if it would…" Having heard enough, Hannah angrily shook off the cloak and glared at Narcissa, who to her credit, barely flinched at her sudden appearance.

"I'm getting married to _Severus_ because I love him. It's that simple. Just that. Getting married feels like the right thing to do…it's making a commitment to someone and signing your name to it. Promising you'll stay with them and love them _no matter what_. It's not taking the easy way out when things get rough. It's accepting someone for who they are, for all their merits and faults, and having them accept you in return. I would have thought you'd be able to empathise with _some_ of that, Narcissa, despite your obvious marriage of convenience."

"You're right, Hannah Potter. I do. How long have you been here?"

"Long enough. Typical of you to try and buy something that should be earned with hard work! But… I _will_ do what I can. I promise nothing, and I'm only even going to try because I believe that with a little effort, Draco could rise above the family that made him. If I vouch for him, will you accept it as payment for any debt I owe you for not letting Voldemort _kill me_ in cold blood?"

"If you swear to it?" Hannah nodded.

"I swear to it. You won't be getting any unbreakable vows from me though, you'll just have to accept my word." She tried to focus on Narcissa, but her thoughts were now entirely on Severus. He hadn't even looked in her direction, and her heart sank as she prepared to face him when Narcissa finally left.

"Then I'll consider any debt paid in full. Thank you…Hannah," Narcissa said, grimacing as if the words were physically painful. She headed to the door and looked back at the pair as if she was going to say something else, but she obviously changed her mind because she left without another word.

The second Narcissa was out the door, Severus turned to her with a steely glare. He marched towards her and picked her up, placing her on the kitchen counter making them roughly equal in height. Pulling her into him, he accosted her mouth with a firm and desperate kiss. He then buried his face in her neck and held her tightly, his fists balling the material of her shirt. It was as if he thought she was about to leave, or as if he'd never expected to see her again. His body was lightly shuddering, and Hannah realised in horror that Severus, _her_ Severus was crying, and it was her fault. Wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back, she pressed herself closer to him in an attempt to comfort him.

"Severus…it's alright. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere…" He pulled away from her slightly to look at her face, and though he'd shed a few tears, when he spoke his voice remained steady.

"Why are you calling me that? Why are you calling me Severus?"

"Sorry, I…you hate it when I call you Sev…"

"Yes, but it's how you show affection…calling me Severus is akin to the opposite…" She giggled a little despite the situation.

"I'm sorry, Sev. For everything." He seemed to be holding her more tightly than ever, and his hands were grasping at her hips so tightly it was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She'd expected him to be angry. She'd expected him to shout at her, throw curses and hexes or even throw her out of his house. But she hadn't expected this. "I thought you'd be angry with me," she whispered.

"Angry? Oh, I'm _absolutely livid_. You have no idea…no idea at all! These last few days…I didn't know if you were coming home…or staying. I didn't know if you were having second thoughts, or if you wanted him over me…and if you didn't…what if he forced you into his bed? _I didn't know anything_!" His face had reddened in anger as his grip on her ever tightened, and she could see more than a few unshed tears in his eyes. He was intensely scrutinising her face, and she wondered if he was resisting the urge to invade her mind. He probably was, she thought, wondering whether she should let him.

"Sev…you're hurting me…" she whispered reluctantly. His grip on her loosened but he didn't let go, and his hands remained holding her lightly. "I love you. That's the important thing right, the only thing that matters? The thing I reminded you of in the very first sentence of my letter. It was _just a kiss_ …and I felt insanely guilty…even though it came from nowhere. I mean I wasn't expecting him to attack my face! Nothing else happened, I promise. I never wanted _anything_ to happen in the first place. Besides, magic right? If he tried anything serious, he'd have been blasted away. Now who's forgetting they're a wizard?"

"It doesn't always work that way. When I got your letter, I grabbed my broomstick in a jealous rage and headed north for about an hour before apparating home. But…you're _alright_?" He said looking over her body briefly. "You seem to be back in one piece… _despite_ not taking your potion. No more of these?" He said with his fingers brushing over the now almost invisible silver scar on her cheek.

"I'm perfectly fine, at least I am now that I'm home with you. It was torture being away from you for so long. I guess that sounds pretty pathetic."

"Yes, it does. But I have to confess, I've been feeling equally tortured. Life simply isn't the same without you around anymore. Did you mean everything you said to Narcissa? About getting married?"

"Of course I did. Did you mean everything _you_ said to her? Specifically, the bit about you only being with me because I have a young, tight body? Oh, and that living with me is the best way to avoid suspicion?" She asked raising her eyebrows in mock accusation. He rolled his eyes at her in return.

"Obviously." He said sarcastically.

"Always such a git…"

"Indubitably. Why were you hiding from me?" She shrugged.

"Narcissa was here, so I was curious."

"Hmm, as to why another woman was in our home?"

"Absolutely, I mean – how dare you! I'm the only woman that's allowed in this house!" She said rolling her eyes, her voice full of sarcasm. "Actually, those kind of thoughts never occurred to me. But it _was_ Narcissa, I wanted to see what she wanted without her knowing I was there. How did _you_ know I was hiding? You didn't even flinch."

"Tst, your thoughts are irritatingly loud." He said mocking her. "You are also forgetting the existence of wards."

"Oh…right. Why did you even let her in though? She's a Malfoy…after her everything Lucius has done…" A wicked glint appeared in his eyes and by now she knew that meant he'd have some kind of amusing reply.

"I didn't have any choice but to hear her out. I knew you'd be home soon and I wouldn't have had time to dispose of the body. I thought that if you came home to her cold dead corpse on the porch, you might be slightly angry, even if she is a Malfoy." Hannah snickered, and he smiled wickedly before beginning to look more serious. "You force me to be a better man Hannah. You allow me to see some of the goodness in people that had eluded me before."

"And you bring me back down to Earth. You help me see reality when I'm stuck in my _youthful ideals_. I've really missed you…you know that I would not wish any companion in the world but you, don't you?" She whispered, tenderly running her fingers through his hair.

He picked her up, and Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, giggling in surprise. He walked over to the sofa, unceremoniously let her fall onto it, allowed himself to follow and positioned himself on top of her. Hannah revelled in re-familiarising herself with the feel of his weight on her as he kissed her deeply, tenderly stroking her leg. How she'd missed the feel of his lips and his body on hers the past few weeks. When he finally pulled back a little, she gazed into his eyes for a few moments.

"Does this mean you forgive me? Do you still love me?"

"Perhaps." He said, though she noted the wry expression on his face and a slight twinkle in his eyes. "I have yet to make up my mind."

"Oh, is that right?" She said teasingly, before turning to more serious thoughts. "Do you…want to view my memories?" He frowned and stared at her seemingly in indecision.

"No." He said firmly. "I love you, and I trust you. That's the only important thing. I don't need to be convinced by your thoughts or memories when you've _told me_ what happened. Besides, I'm sure I'll find a subtle, suitable way to get my revenge."

"I just don't want any secrets between us." He shrugged a little before playing with her hair.

"Then don't keep any. Did you enjoy it?" She bit her lip anxiously not wanting to upset him, but not wanting to lie or avoid the question either.

"No. It wasn't anything like with you, it just didn't feel right. He didn't have any skills anyway, it was all…" She shuddered at the memory. "When you kiss me I feel all…I dunno warm and fiery. Loved. He just made me feel…gross." Severus really was frowning now.

"I regret not being clearer. I meant did you enjoy your time at the village. But do continue with your assessment of my kissing skills versus Conrad's or whatever his name was." Blushing scarlet, Hannah covered her face in shame. After a few moments, he pried one of her hands away and held it gently in his, kissing it.

"The heat coming from your face almost makes me feel sympathy for you."

"Um…thanks. To be honest, yes and no. I don't think I really learned much from it, but I think it was important for me to go. I know you disapprove, but experiencing the full moon without the wolfsbane and without being a danger to anyone was an important experience for me. The villagers helped me realise that…I dunno, being a werewolf doesn't need to be so bad." He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her.

"Finally. Well, that's something. I see you've still been taking your other potion."

"Hmm?"

"You've put a little more weight on."

"Oh. Guess they seriously overfed me with werewolf friendly fare," she said giggling. "Wait…that's a good thing, right?" He chuckled and slowly leaned in closer to her.

"A very good thing," he whispered kindly before passionately kissing her and seductively running his hands over her skin under her blouse. He was so thoroughly distracting and all-encompassing that she heard the whooshing noise of the floo and two familiar voices as if they were miles away. Once she recognised them, however, she stiffened in shock.

"I told you! You can't just go invading people's homes like that!"

"Don't care, I'm worried about her. I reckon she's back by now, it's been weeks. Oi, Professor! This wedding still…oh, great Gryffindor help me…Hermione, I think I might go blind..." Hannah looked over in mortification at her two best friends by the fireplace. With Severus lying on top of her with his hand in a not so innocent place, it was hardly surprising that Ron had his hands over his face in embarrassment. Hermione, however, seemed almost unfazed and walked up to them angrily.

"You. Just. Left. No letters, _nothing_! You just disappeared!"

"Um…Hermione, I was kind of in the middle of something, you can't just appear in Severus' house without warning and…" As she spoke Severus groaned, mumbled something about it being 'our house,' and sat upright, straightening himself out. She did the same, face flushing scarlet.

"I don't care! We've been worried sick, and you can't get anything out of this guy!" Hermione said gesturing at Severus "It's our business, not yours," she said mocking Severus.

"Look, I'm sorry alright. My heads just been so full at the lately, and Severus…I'm sure you know the feeling. Will you accept my apologies? After all, I did kind of tell you at the end of term." She was needing to do a lot of apologising at the moment she realised.

"You didn't say you were going so soon! We thought you meant in the distant future! We thought you'd write to us and tell us how things were going – tell us that you were O.K!" Hermione said angrily with her arms crossed. She eyed Hannah and then Severus, and blushed as if she'd only just realised she'd interrupted the amorous pair. "I think we all know what the two of you are feeling right now, but…oh, of course, I will. I can't stay mad at you, especially when we've just walked in on… _that_." Hannah giggled awkwardly and looked over to Severus who was scowling grumpily at the pair, clearly annoyed at being interrupted. She'd make up for lost time later, Hannah decided.

"Well, I take it it's still on then. Mum's been fretting over getting everything organised, I mean it's only three days away, and the dress needs to be fitted as soon …"

"Weasley!" Severus snarled angrily.

" _Shut up_!" Hermione interrupted looking mortified. Hannah frowned in confusion and looked at Severus who was glaring at the pair.

"If the two of you could please _leave_. I was getting to that until you so rudely interrupted us! You were informed that _I_ would contact _you_!"

"Looked like you were trying to be getting at summin else if you ask me," Ron mumbled gruffly as Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the fireplace. Hannah hardly noticed them say their goodbyes and disappear because her mind was racing. Three days, and a dress that needed to be fitted for something that may or may not be going ahead. Hannah's heart began to race as she realised the implication of what Ron had said. Severus stood and held out his hand to her. She grasped it and stood in front of him.

"Hannah…do you trust me?"

"Yes. Completely."

"If you desire it everything is ready to go ahead, it's all planned. Equally, if you're not ready yet then that's _alright_ , it's very sudden, and I completely understand."

"Sev…did you…are we getting married in three days? On my Birthday?"

" _Possibly_." He uncharacteristically shuffled his feet and was obviously more nervous than he wanted to let on.

"You're such a fool," she whispered with a shake of her head, watching his face fall as he took the words in. "I mean, how could you honestly think I would ever say no? I already told you I'd marry you!" She wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed him thoroughly.

"Thank the heavens for that," he mumbled before resting his head on hers.

"Sev?"

"Yes?"

"How do you feel about showing off your marvellously accurate apparition skills again?" He laughed lightly before holding on to her more tightly. The familiar pull of apparition washed over her, and before she knew it, she was falling onto the bed with Severus furiously kissing her collarbone and neck. His hands deftly made short work of the buttons on her blouse, and he trailed his fingers over abdomen sensually. Not wanting to go through the torture of unbuttoning his robes, she whispered a spell, removing his upper garments.

"That's _cheating_ ," he said amusedly before trailing kisses down her abdomen. It seemed as if she had gone far too long without his touch, and she was practically desperate for him.

"Wait," she said suddenly, just as he had unbuttoned her muggle jeans. With an irritated groan, he paused in his attentions and looked at her as if to say ' _seriously?_ ' "Severus, please, _please_ tell me one thing." He stared at her in reluctant confusion and waited. "The fireplace in your bedroom isn't connected to the floo network is it?"

"What? _Why_ would you…no. No it's not," he said chuckling at her and resuming his fiery kisses. "And it's _our_ bedroom…" he mumbled.

Entirely satisfied for the first time in weeks, Hannah lay comfortably in Severus' arms, completely exhausted and breathless. They held each other for a long time before he eventually spoke, his fingers drawing circles on her back.

"I've been thinking."

"How can you _possibly_ be _thinking_ right now? _My_ brains are all goo…"

"Thank you for the compliment, but I was thinking…I want to take your name," he said slowly and firmly.

"Wait…what? I thought we decided on Prince," she said leaning on her elbow and looking down at him.

"I've changed my mind. I want to take the name Potter. Though… I think I'll retain Snape as a professional name. If I have to reintroduce myself as ' _Mr Potter_ '…I'm sure you can imagine."

"But… _why_?"

"Because your name deserves to survive. After everything, you deserve to be recognised for who you are. You should stand proud, and not hide behind someone else's name. You are Hannah Potter, whether you like it or not. It won't help you to pretend otherwise. Besides…Hannah Prince? Seriously? No. I'm not calling you that! Potter suits you far more, it's humble. Prince sounds elitist, and that is something you are not."

"You're serious about this? You're sure?"

"Positive. Please don't fight me on it."

"Alright. You do pick your moments – as if I could fight you now!" She said beaming down at him.


	22. Into New Voyages - For All Future Time

Chapter Twenty Two

Into new voyages

For all future time

"Hannah… _Hannah_!" Blearily opening her eyes, Hannah looked up at Severus. He was still lying next to her and was propping himself up on his elbow. She must have dozed off, and he'd obviously had to wake her. "As much as I enjoy admiring that perfect frame of yours, we should probably do something productive with the rest of the day." He said with a sigh, shamelessly allowing his eyes to wander around every part of her body except her face. "I suspect the Weasley's are waiting as impatiently as ever for news of whether or not our wedding is going ahead." With a disgruntled groan, Hannah rolled closer to him and rested her head against his chest, clutching his waist.

"Do we really have to go _today_? I just want to stay in bed."

"As much as my body is telling me to stay here, my head is saying yes. There's a lot of organising to do."

"I _hate_ you…"

"Hmm. I shall remind you of that on our wedding night and refuse to put out." She looked up at him with a glare. Two can play at that game, she thought.

"Oh well, saves me having to try and impress you with sexy lingerie."

"I'd rather you went without it anyway. You're seductive enough as it is, I daren't imagine… " He kissed her chastely on the lips and arched his eyebrow at her.

"I suppose we could stay here. I'm sure it will be a good few minutes before Granger and Weasley floo in demanding to know your response. Imagine how appalled they'll be when they realise what we've been…"

" _Alright_ , Alright!" She said jumping out of bed and reaching for their clothes, quickly redressing in her typical muggle attire, conscious of his eyes on her. "I'm up, happy? Stop staring at me like a dirty old man and get dressed," she said throwing him several items of clothing. She had the satisfaction of ensuring that she returned the favour, and watched him dress too.

"Less of the _old_ will you?" She rolled her eyes at him and did the buttons up on his shirt, ensuring to leave the top few buttons undone.

"I hate it when you cover everything up so austerely." She complained as he reached for his cloak in _July_. "Don't you overheat wearing that all the time? I'll be getting you in a t-shirt and jeans before you know it!"

"You get used to it. It's traditional, and I'm not exactly used to showing off the dark mark…I shall rue the day I decided to teach you your potion, I'm sure of it."

"Oh, I'll make sure you do!" She said cheekily as she reached up to kiss him, before pulling his cloak off his shoulders and discarding it on the bed. He groaned and unrolled the sleeves of his shirt. "Sev, everyone knows it's there, so stop worrying about it. I don't bother to hide my scar anymore, why should you hide the mark? It's part of who you _were_ , not who you _are_." She rolled them back up and traced the faded, but still harsh lines on his skin as he watched her.

"Alright," he said reluctantly.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. I'm sincerely hoping that Molly is in a better mood, in all honesty, I was afraid for my life the last time I spoke to her. She's worried about you. She knows that my intentions with you are less than pure." Hannah snickered and took his hand.

"She wasn't too harsh with you was she?"

"Not really, all things considered. I think she was glad that I'm making an honest woman out of you."

"We apparating?"

"Yes, unlike some people, our presence shall be announced by knocking on the door like members of civilised society. It's your turn to show me your skills, Miss Potter."

"You know I never actually took the apparition test, don't you? _I_ don't have a licence."

"And? What are you afraid of, getting a fine?"

"Terrified! It's nice to know you trust me, that's all."

"I let you _sleep_ by me when you're a _werewolf_. _That'_ s trust." He muttered as he gripped her hand more tightly. Smiling, Hannah focused on the Burrow and pulled them just outside the gate. As they looked up at the Weasley's home, Severus sighed and let go of her hand, crossing his arms.

"You're nervous. I'm the one that should be nervous, I'm going along with whatever wedding you've organised. Sleeping by a werewolf requires trust, but so does letting a man organise your entire wedding!" Hannah snickered earning her a frown as they started to walk towards the house. They were saved waiting by the door as Molly came rushing out, Ron and Hermione following closely behind.

"Hannah! You're _here_! Does this mean? Are you?" She looked between Hannah and Severus excitedly, and when Hannah nodded, she practically squealed pulling her in for a hug. "Oh, there's so much to do! So much still to organise…I mean most of the important things have already been taken care of, but we had to wait until you confirmed everything of course! I'm going to pretend that you didn't scare us all half to death disappearing on us, but once you're married I'm sure you won't do that again! Come on inside, both of you."

As she followed Molly into the family home, she turned and smiled at Severus. He was maintaining a stoic expression, not giving his inner thoughts or feelings away, and Hannah had to suppress a chuckle at the thought of him popping by the Burrow while she'd been away to discuss the wedding with everyone. Family gatherings weren't ever going to be his thing, but it amused her, and it warmed her heart that he was clearly willing to put up with it for her sake.

They spent the next couple of hours discussing everything that had already been organised by Severus, her friends, and her adopted family. They had thought of everything – even down to the music and the food. Severus had even picked flowers, a fact that had amused her to no end. They were going to have the whole thing here, just as Bill and Fleur had and it warmed her heart to know that the Weasley's would go to such a great effort for her. They had only invited a handful of people, those who were closest to them, and Hannah was relieved to know that she wouldn't have to face a crowd of strangers at the wedding. After hearing all of the plans, she decided that she didn't want to change a thing, Severus obviously knew her far too well. She was a little worried about finding something to wear in time, but in the end, she decided it didn't really matter what they wore. There was only one thing that was really bothering her. Traditionally, a bride would be given away by her father.

"Um…Mr Weasley?"

"After all this time I think it's time you started calling me Arthur," he laughed.

"Right. Um, I don't really want to walk down the aisle alone. I mean, what I'm asking is…would you mind? I mean, you and Molly are the closest thing I have to family…" Arthur positively beamed at her, and she swore he had a tear in his eye.

"I would consider it a great honour Hannah. Blimey, that's responsibility! Walking Hannah Potter down the aisle!" As the discussion came to a natural end, Molly asked Hannah and Hermione if they'd accompany her upstairs.

"In that case, I shall see you at home whenever you're ready Hannah. No need to rush. Thank you for your hospitality and assistance Molly, Arthur." Severus said courteously as he headed towards the door. She wasn't going to let him slither away that quickly, and she managed to grab him just before he could leave. She could feel everyone's eyes on them, but she didn't care. Wrapping her arms around him, she reached up and kissed him tenderly, fully expecting him to complain about unnecessary displays of public affection when she got home later.

"I'll see you later, I'll try not to keep you waiting too long," she whispered. When she released him, he turned abruptly, and headed out the door. His irritation at her public display was obvious, and Hannah snickered at the fact that he was missing the infamous irritated swish of his cloak. Smiling at her thoughts, Hermione interrupted her.

"I don't want to make it awkward, but…seeing him without his cloak…well, he does have a rather nice frame doesn't he?" Hermione said with a slight blush, clearly embarrassed to admit such a thing.

"Oh, you have _no idea_ ," Hannah laughed happily as she arched her eyebrow. "Are you eyeing up my fiancée Hermione?"

"I can appreciate why you're attracted to him now, that's all. I _know_ it's not all about his body but…"

"Of course it's not, but it is a rather marvellous bonus." Giggling happily. Hannah headed upstairs to find Molly, with Hermione following her.

"In here," Hannah heard Molly call from one of the rooms. Entering the room, she realised it was Molly's bedroom, and she was levitating a box down from the top of her wardrobe.

"Molly, um…I know you probably have reservations about Severus…"

"Of course I do, it's my job to worry, especially as he's so much older. Despite everything you've gone through, you don't realise just how young you still are."

"Please, Molly. Stop with the age thing. If he was anyone else would you even comment on it? Nobody cared when it was Remus and Tonks, it's just because it's Severus. Be honest, that's the thing you're struggling with." Mrs Weasley sighed and nodded in defeat.

"Well, I have seen the way you are around each other, and nobody _ever_ thought Severus was the marrying type. He's not exactly the easiest person to become friendly with. How on Earth did you get so close to him?"

"Um…he helped me with my potions every month. I guess we just gradually got closer over time until…"she hesitated, not knowing whether she should admit her nearly fatal miscalculation to Mrs Weasley. "We were becoming closer anyway and then, well…I miscalculated when I should take my potion while he was away from school and…basically he saved me from turning into a werewolf in the Gryffindor common room. He managed to get me to safety literally at the last moment at great risk to himself, and when I awoke, he was still there with me…taking care of me, like I…well, anyway, that's when we realised what was happening. We would do anything for each other." Mrs Weasley stared at her in stunned silence, clearly not knowing what to make of what she had said, and clearly speculating on what Hannah could have possibly omitted.

"Well, he obviously loves you, and that's what's important. I would have you wait, but…I can see why you don't want to." Mrs Weasley cleared her throat and looked to and fro at Hannah and Hermione. "I'm sure you don't need a lesson on what he'll want on your wedding night…I hope you're not planning on having children right away? Marriage is more than enough at your age, I can assure you. I have a potion you can take to prevent…" Both Hannah and Hermione looked at each other partially stunned before giggling and interrupting Mrs Weasley's speech. Oh, she knew what Severus would want alright, and she was all too willing to comply.

"Molly, Severus is a _potions master_ , remember! Don't worry, it's all…taken care of," Hannah said blushing and wondering if Molly was simply in denial. They were already living together after all, though she conceded that she probably didn't know that they'd been practically living together at Hogwarts.

"Of course _he's_ made sure…what am I thinking? Severus Snape with children, that's a laugh." Molly muttered to herself. "Right then, my mother wore this when she was young, and so did I."

Opening the box, Molly pulled out a long ivory dress and Hannah stared at it in amazement. It was one of the most beautiful and dresses she'd ever seen. It was a long and flowy piece that was tight around the waist but had a beautifully flowing skirt. Ornate, finely patterned lace covered the top part of the V-neck bodice, and it had sleeves down to the elbows. Beautifully simple, Hannah thought it was perfect. Almost. It had frilly bits of the same lace sitting above the silky skirt, and Hannah fingered the pieces of material. Somehow she struggled to imagine a young Molly Prewett wearing such a delicate, elegant item of clothing – or fitting into it. She supposed that's what happened when you had so many children.

"You're the first one of my daughters to get married…I won't be offended if you don't like it of course, but if you do like it, then I'd love for you to have it and pass it on to your own daughter someday." Tears threatened to spill over onto Hannah's cheeks, and she couldn't quite believe that Molly would give her such a gift. Her heart ached a little at the fact that she'd probably never have her own children, but she didn't want to ruin the moment by telling Molly that. What about Ginny though? She wondered.

"It's beautiful, but I can't accept this! What about Ginny?"

"As I said, you're the first of my daughters to get married. I want you to have it. Ginny has already agreed that you should wear it." Hannah smiled and hugged Mrs Weasley tightly. "Alright, now. Dry those eyes before you set me off too! Try it on and give us a shout when you're ready, and we'll see how you look!" Still feeling emotional, Hannah put on the dress as best as she could, but it was a little loose and doing up the back was definitely a two-man job.

"Oh, Hannah! You look amazing!" Hermione said as she and Molly re-entered the room. Hermione quickly helped her tie up the back, but it was still a little too loose.

"Oh dear, it's far too big yet, but don't worry it's nothing I can't fix," Molly complained before waving her wand. Just like Madam Malkins, Mrs Weasley was able to quickly magically modify the dress so that it would fit perfectly, figure-hugging on the top, but beautifully flowing on the bottom. Taking a step back, Molly looked at Hannah and sighed. "A little old-fashioned these bits," she said looking at the lace covering the skirt. With a wave of her wand, the material removed itself and refashioned itself into a kind of sash that sat beautifully around Hannah's waist, separating the ornate lace top from the simple plain skirt that just tickled the floor. Now it was perfect, an exquisite blend of tradition and modernity.

Smiling excitedly at her work, Molly positioned a full-length mirror in front of Hannah. Hardly ever wearing particularly feminine attire, she almost felt like someone else, and she stared at her own reflection in shock. Despite deciding earlier that it didn't matter to her what she wore, she now couldn't imagine wearing anything else, and felt insanely grateful to Mrs Weasley for the gesture. She twirled happily, admiring how it swished and swayed beautifully with her movements and smiled gleefully at Mrs Weasley and Hermione who looked just as happy as she did.

"It's…perfect, thank you! I wish they taught us useful spells like that in school! I wonder…do you think Sev will like it?"

"Of course he will! Don't forget you'll have your hair and make-up done on the day too, you'll be _irresistible_!" Hermione snickered.

"Do either of you know what he's going to be wearing?"

"Nope, I don't suppose it's like him to talk much anyway, but I'm betting it'll be black, maybe with a hint of white,"

"You're probably not wrong, Hermione, but I don't really mind. Black suits him."

"You'll see on the day – something to look forward to, I'm sure. Don't forget its bad luck for him to see you wearing the dress beforehand, don't tell him what you're wearing," Molly admonished. "I told him I had something in mind, but he doesn't know what it looks like, so don't spoil the surprise! Oh, and you'll be staying here the night before – can't let him see you on the day until you walk down the aisle!"

"Okay. Somehow, I struggle to imagine Sev knocking on your door and asking if you can help him arrange his wedding!" Hannah chuckled.

"Yes, he was very formal about it. He always carries himself in such a dignified manner, doesn't he? I suppose that's what happens when…"Molly cut herself off mid-sentence awkwardly and changed the subject. "You know I think we should lightly curl this lovely hair on the day."

"When what?"

"Well, the poor thing hasn't had the easiest life, has he? Perhaps it's his way of rising above it. Nothing excuses him from joining the Death Eaters, of course, but…it doesn't bother you? His dealings with…you know who?" _Ah_ , Hannah thought, thinking that Molly was probably more concerned about everything than she was letting on.

"Neither have I, so in that we're well matched. We all have a past. Nobody could be expected to know how things would pan out."

" _His_ past is more colourful than most. You can still see the evidence on his arm too. I don't want to see you get hurt, you're such a sensitive girl, and he doesn't have an emotional bone in his body."

"He usually covers his arm up, I told him not to hide it anymore. If I'm completely honest…his past does bother me, and I know it should. Trust me, it's something we've discussed a lot. But…I still love him. He's different now, and we accept each other just as we are. Nobody ever said love had to be easy or logical, right? I think we complement each other very well. Besides, I rather think he's made up for it since, I mean if it wasn't for him spying…I don't want to think about it. Voldemort probably would have won. He might not be emotional with many people, but I promise you, he is with me – at least when we're alone. I know it's hard to believe, but he really does have a great capacity for love." Molly scrutinised her for a long moment and was obviously still a little unconvinced, but she eventually smiled and put her hand on Hannah's cheek in a motherly kind of way.

"Well, you do seem much happier now than you've ever been before, I'll give him that."

"Oh, Hannah! I almost forgot!" Hermione said reaching into her bag. "You've got something old, you just need something borrowed and blue!" She pulled out a small box and handed it over to Hannah. Opening it carefully, Hannah revealed a beautiful dazzling silver necklace adorned with dark sapphires and diamonds arranged in a delicate floral pattern.

"Wow, Hermione! Where…"

"It's my mums, I convinced her to let you borrow it. Hopefully, I'll get to wear it…eventually…" Hermione said with a sigh, with Molly smiling at her with hopeful eyes.

"Thank you – both of you! I have no idea what I would do without you!"

"Well, _I know_! You'd be walking down the aisle in your jeans and hoodie, and we can't have that now can we!" Hermione said cheekily. "Now, you just need something new. I think a shopping trip is in order! Every girl needs some new lingerie for her wedding, and I know just the place!" Hannah groaned, unsure as to whether she'd rather go by herself, or have Hermione with her as moral support.

Several hours later than she had been planning, Hannah finally managed to apparate home, a bag of new unmentionables in hand. She hid them away upstairs before finding Severus working away in his potions lab in the cellar.

"You took your time!"

"Good evening to you too!" She chimed, before looking over what he was making. Dreamless sleep, she realised. "I'm the stuff of nightmares I'll give you that…" Deciding she might as well help him, she grabbed some ingredients to prepare.

"Yes, you are. Especially when you insist on making sure your extended family witness you claiming my lips."

"You _loved_ it," she said with a wink, earning herself a discontented snort.

"I thought we could probably use some of this to make sure we sleep well the night before the wedding."

"Yeah, Molly's making me stay at the Burrow the night before…" She complained. "You really do think of everything, don't you?" Looking a little uncomfortable and indecisive, Severus folded his arms in thought as Hannah continued to work on his potion.

"I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to get angry about it." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Oh, that doesn't sound ominous at all."

"While you were away, I visited your aunt and uncle."

"What? _Why_? Didn't you see enough of their behaviour in my memories years ago to see what kind of people they are?"

"You never talk about them, and I wanted to see whether they would attend the wedding. Petunia is your mother's sister after all. It's traditional to get your relatives blessing." Hannah laughed bitterly and crossed her arms defensively. "Though I willingly concede that it was an exceptionally unpleasant experience…their memories of you are not exactly good. I never thought Albus would allow you to grow up in such conditions."

"There's a reason I never talk about them Severus, and it's a similar reason to why you never talk about your family, and why I never ask you about it."

"Hannah, I saw you being shut away in a cupboard as a crying infant. I saw Petunia cut off all of your beautiful hair because it was _messy_. I saw your uncle come barging into your room in the middle of the night shouting like a lunatic because you were in the middle of a night terror. I saw them begrudgingly give you cold canned soup through a cat flap on a locked door…is all of this true?"

"Well, I don't know about the baby part, but yeah, I guess so. The hair actually grew back overnight, much to their dissatisfaction," she laughed. "I've made my peace with it. I've got you now, I can forget all of that stuff. I'm guessing they're not coming…or at least I'm hoping they're not. I bet they had a shock though…you just turning up and telling them you're marrying me – I'd love to have seen the looks on their faces!"

"It would have been amusing, but they didn't show any consideration for your welfare at all. Mostly they just seem pissed off that I forced them to acknowledge your existence. Your cousin seemed worried about you, but I don't think he dared voice it with his parents in the room. Vernon actually congratulated me on getting my hands on your money, and your house, but his thoughts were…Hannah, he never… physically abused you did he?" The question caught her off guard, and she stared at him as she processed exactly what he was asking.

"No," she said firmly as she returned to work on the potion. "I was the resident freak remember? But I'm not sure I want to know what he was thinking to make you question something like that. Besides, I have very vivid memories of willingly giving my virtue to you, as you _know_ ," she said rolling her eyes. He embraced her from behind and hummed his agreement into her neck.

"Oh, I can assure you, I remember." Trying not to be too distracted by him, she poured the finished potion into a pair of bottles, before turning to look at him.

"You didn't curse them did you?"

"To my intense regret, no. Six months ago I would have, but now I find myself needing to stay on your good side, purely for my good health."

"Oh, good! I bet that took some restraint on your part."

"You have no idea," he whispered before seemingly freezing. "Talking about restraint…you're far too distracting. I've forgotten to tell you your N.E.W.T results arrived yesterday. There's a letter in the living room."

" _What!_ Why didn't you tell me when I got back?"

"Because when you arrived home this morning, you seemed far more interested in exploiting my body!" Practically running out the room, up the stairs and into the living room, Hannah tore open the letter and stared at her scores in amazement.

"And?" He asked after catching up with her.

"Five T's, shouldn't have bothered." He raised his eyebrow and was clearly feigning disappointment.

"Well, I can't be marrying a troll, weddings off." Smiling brightly, Hannah shook her head happily.

"Two O's and three E's. I don't think that's bad, I got an O in Potions…fancy that!"

"An acceptable outcome."

"Git. Shut up and congratulate your future wife!" He pulled her close, leaned in agonisingly slowly and kissed her.

"Congratulations," he whispered.

Between them, Severus and the Weasley's had already organised practically everything, and other than fitting her dress, Hannah had very little to do with planning the wedding. Before she really even had time to process everything, the day was upon her. She spent the night before at the Weasley's, sharing a room with Hermione. Forever grateful to Severus for suggesting the dreamless sleep, she awoke feeling refreshed and rested, and she suspected she'd have been far too hyped and nervous to sleep without it. Just as they had done for Bill and Fleur's wedding, a large marquee containing tables and chairs, and adorned with flowers had been set up near the Weasley home.

Though the Weasley's had been busy setting everything up all morning, Hannah had been kept from the proceedings. Before Molly had quickly drawn the curtains, she had managed to sneak a peek out of the living room window to see a beautiful traditional white wooden arch adorned with a range of white lilies and red roses, and white chairs neatly lined up in front of it with an aisle down the middle. Beginning to feel nervous already, with Mrs Weasley and Hermione's help, Hannah put on the beautiful wedding dress that Molly had given her. If she had no chance of doing up the back before, she certainly didn't now with slightly shaky fingers. Molly curled her hair into long loose waves, and she put on the blue necklace Hermione's mother had lent her. Though she never really wore it, Hermione showed off her artistic skills by applying her makeup for her, accentuating her natural features, but giving her rosy lips and long eyelashes with curled eyeliner flicks on her eyes.

She had felt too nervous to really talk through the entire process, and kept Edgar with her, stroking his feathers for comfort, but she wondered if Severus had arrived yet, and who had been invited. She'd been so overwhelmed and preoccupied, she'd neglected to ask, but she'd been able to hear voices coming from outside for a good half an hour or so. She was just about to ask Molly, when Mr Weasley knocked on the door and entered the room.

"My goodness, Hannah! Don't you look…well, you scrub up beautifully don't you!?" He said with a grin and wide eyes. "Oh, right, before I forget." He handed her a white box with a red ribbon tied around it. "Severus asked me to give you this. He said 'happy birthday' and that he 'thought it was fitting, please wear it', I'm curious as to what it is myself!" Gingerly untying the bow, Hannah opened the box, wary of everyone's eyes on her as she inwardly prayed it wouldn't be anything embarrassing. A delicate, silver headpiece was revealed, and Hannah carefully took it out to look at it. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen, and she could see why Severus had thought it was fitting. It had a thin ornate band dotted with small, but brilliantly reflecting diamonds and was simply adorned with a plain silver crescent moon in the middle. Stunned, Hannah simply admired it for a long time as everyone else _ooh'd_ and _ahh'd_ over it just as much as she did. Finally, she placed it on her head and stood in front of the mirror. Perhaps for the first time in her life, Hannah truly felt beautiful.

"Everyone's arrived and seated, and the registrar from the Ministry is waiting with Severus. Everything's all in order – we're just waiting for you now Hannah, whenever you're ready. I'm sure everyone's looking forward to seeing you." Mr Weasley said. No pressure to get going then, she thought wondering how the day had passed by so quickly. Her heart started to beat wildly out of control, and though she was eager to see Severus, if she was going to be the centre of attention again, frankly, she'd rather be fighting Voldemort for a second round. If she knew Severus, he was probably thinking the same thing, especially having to awkwardly stand around waiting for her with everyone judging him too, and she thought it best not to keep him waiting too long, just in case he started to think she'd done a runner. Still, she bet he'd soon be smiling despite himself.

Mrs Weasley and Hermione left the room to join the other guests, and Hannah sent Edgar with Hermione, who would later be giving him the rings to carry. She picked up her bouquet of white tulips, red roses and white narcissi that Molly had arranged for her and looked up at Arthur, as ready as she'd ever be.

"Ready? Nervous?" Mr Weasley asked as he held out his arm. Not daring to use her voice, Hannah nodded, hooking her arm under his, and steeling herself to face the crowd awaiting their arrival outside. "Don't worry. I've got you, just stare at that handsome man of yours. He scrubs up _almost_ as well as you do." Mrs Weasley and Hermione must have informed everybody of her impending arrival because she could no longer hear the dim of people talking, and she could hear string music softly playing a traditional wedding tune that even she could recognise with her limited exposure to music. The familiarity of it seemed to calm her, and she smiled at Mr Weasley.

"Let's go," she said assertively.

As she headed outside into the lush, fragrant garden, she began to hear the music more clearly. As the arch came into view around the corner, all eyes were on her. She took in some of the faces smiling at her – Hagrid's large cheery form couldn't be missed. Molly, Ron Hermione and the rest of the Weasley family were seated at the front beaming at her. She would have taken much more notice of all the stares and whispers if her eyes hadn't already found Severus.

Hermione had almost been right. He was wearing the smartest of black dress robes, but had a deep emerald green waistcoat and was adorned with a black cravat. Walking at a slow and steady pace, she somehow became less nervous the closer she got to him, though embarrassingly, she felt her cheeks burning as she wondered why she had to be the typical blushing bride. Perhaps it was because she could focus more on him once everyone else was behind her. She stared at his subtly smiling face and his bright dark eyes drinking her in just as much as she was admiring him.

When they finally reached the arch, Mr Weasley relinquished her arm as Severus offered her his steady, welcoming hand. She gently placed her hand in his and caressed it as they tenderly stared at each other for a moment, seemingly forgetting the fifty or so other people watching them. Only really taking notice of the old man sent by the Ministry to officiate their marriage when he loudly cleared his throat to get their attention, they turned towards him, ready to make their lifelong vows to each other. After welcoming everyone and making a short speech about the importance of love and commitment, he asked for the rings. Praying that Edgar wouldn't betray them and decide to keep the shiny new possessions to himself, she was secretly relieved when he flew to Severus carrying the small box containing the plain traditional gold rings. Severus took them, and Edgar flew to Hermione. Turning to each other, they caressed each other's hands as they said their vows. Severus' voice remained clear and steady without any hint of nervousness as he said his vows first, gently placing the ring on her finger.

"I, Severus Tobias Snape, take you Hannah Lily Potter, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, in body and in soul, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in strength and in weakness, to love and to cherish always, for as long as we both shall live." His eyes stared deeply into hers as he declared his love for her before all the world, but she noticed he briefly looked at her infamous scar _and_ the bite mark on her wrist that had brought her to him last September.

Repeating the same commitments to him, her thumb subtly grazed over the dark mark hidden under his shirt, and though her voice was slightly shakier than his, his dark eyes seemed full love and happiness, and he _was_ smiling despite himself. Placing the ring on his finger, they were declared husband and wife, and Severus leaned in to kiss her chastely, lingering and wrapping his arms around her as they were cheered by their friends and family. They were directed to a small table adorned with a white quill, where they signed away their names to each other before being allowed to head towards the large marquee hand in hand as people overenthusiastically threw confetti over them and Mrs Weasley dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Severus really had considered everything, and they sat down to a new favourite of Hannah's – steak, followed by her old favourite, treacle tart. As they ate, with everyone chatting away and joking happily, she was able to really start to pay attention to who had attended. Wanting a very small ceremony, and not wanting anyone from the prophet to be gate-crashing, most of the guests consisted of the extended Weasley family, and wards had been put in place to deter uninvited guests. She dreaded to think how many people might have turned up if someone had leaked the news to the papers, but she was sure that the headline ' _Werewolf Potter Marries Death Eater'_ was imminent regardless. However, a couple of her classmates were sat with Hagrid, and she waved at Luna and Neville. To her immense surprise, Dudley was sat with Ron and Hermione looking a little uncomfortable and unsure of himself, but the gesture touched her, and she gave him a small smile as she vowed to make sure she got a chance to speak with him later.

A seemingly immensely skilled witch in all things domestic, Molly had made a magnificent white multi-teared wedding cake, and after going through the tradition of cutting it, they were free to start the party with the traditional first dance. Despite any reservations, Severus held her close, and she simply followed his lead ignoring everyone else.

"I love dancing with you" she whispered. "We should do it more often."

"Hmm," he hummed, "we should, especially when you look _this_ beautiful."

"You have Molly and Hermione to thank for that…"

"No, I don't. It's just you, Hannah. _My Hannah_." He whispered her repeated name and kissed her tenderly, despite the audience. Molly and Arthur joined the dance floor, and soon there were more people dancing than sat at the tables. After a few minutes, Neville boldly interrupted them asking Hannah to dance, and she amusedly agreed. After dancing merrily and swapping partners more times than she could count, Hannah left the dancefloor in search of a drink, taking a small glass of white wine from a seemingly endless supply at a nearby table.

She spent the next hour or so talking with various guests, paying particular attention to Ron and Hermione whom she suspected would be the next to be married. At least if Ron would pluck up the courage to ask, that is. If she knew Hermione though, she'd probably get fed up of waiting and just ask him herself. Her two best friends had always been there for her, and she hugged them both tightly thanking them for everything. Despite her marriage to Severus, she knew they'd stay the best of friends for many more years yet.

Looking over, she saw Dudley talking to Luna with an amusingly confused look on his face. Not having any idea what she was doing, or what she was going to say, she made her way over to them.

"…and that's why muggles don't notice them," she heard Luna say, as stood sat by them. "Oh, hi Hannah! Great wedding – I always knew you and Snape secretly had more between you than you let on. Nobody can hate someone that much without secretly loving them. But you're not here to talk to me are you? I'll just go and leave you in peace." She said dreamily, as she stood and walked towards Neville. Hannah sat down laughing awkwardly.

"Luna Lovegood. Don't worry, she's a bit strange even to us lot." He almost looked relieved at her comment, and she felt a strange, unwelcome sense of admiration for him. "Thanks for being here. I know…well, it's not easy being the odd one out."

"I just felt bad – mum and dad…you know."

"Yeah, I know how it is."

"One of your lot came over last year and told us that you won a big battle or something, and then _he_ comes over and says you're marrying him," he said nodding to Severus, who was in the far corner sipping a glass of wine and talking to a rosy faced Hagrid, but watching them. "Isn't he a bit…old? Are you just trying to escape mum and dad?" Hannah snorted and shook her head at the gross oversimplification of 'won a big battle or something,' and decided it was probably best not to confuse him even further by telling him that she was a werewolf.

"Um, no, I escaped them way before Sev and I became close. We live a little longer than muggles, Dudley. Age doesn't matter so much. You don't need to worry, I'm very happy… _now_. This is one of the few things I've truly been able to choose." She said sipping her drink.

"Oh," he said awkwardly. "What was it you saved me from? You know, a few years ago?"

"It was a dementor. They…they bring all of your worst memories and fears to the front of your mind, making you feel intense fear and depression. But, Dudley? What did _you_ see? I mean you were always treated like a prince at home." He looked down as if in shame, and she felt pity for him.

"They were treating me like…how they treated you."

"Oh…" She said, deciding to change the subject, the air thick with awkwardness. "How are _you_? What are you doing with yourself these days? Obviously, I've just gotten married!" She laughed.

"Not much," he admitted. "Dad's got me a job at his firm…what do wizards do for a living anyway?" She thought for a moment considering how to explain, and realising that in reality, wizarding jobs were probably just as boring as muggle ones.

"Oh, lots of different things. Most of us work for the government though, one way or another. I'm going to be working in a job helping to decide what rights magical creatures should have."

"Wow. Sounds better then selling drills…" At least that was true…probably, she thought. She looked over to see Severus heading outside, and she stood up intending to follow him.

"It was nice to see you, you know without all the shouting or fighting we did as children," she laughed, and he smiled. "I'll write to you, okay? The raven you saw earlier – he's mine. He'll give you a letter, and all you have to do is give him one back. He'll bring it to me. See you later…big D!" She grinned as she headed outside to find Severus.

She found him alone in the garden, looking up at the crescent moon in the sky, the guest seemingly happy to give him a wide berth.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself, _Mr Potter_ ," she asked as she caught up with him.

"Oh, I just needed a break from… _people_."

"I should have known…" she said shivering slightly and rubbing her arms. She loved her dress, but it offered no protection from the cold.

"Here," he said shrugging off the cloak of his dress robes and placing it around her shoulders. "Hmm…it suits you," he said taking her hand.

"I'll be swanning around making it billow behind me before you know it!"

"I don't doubt that for a second, Mrs Potter."

"Are you happy? Despite all of the _people_?"

"Deliriously," he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her surrounding her in his warmth.

"Do you think anyone will notice if we just sneak off home? I mean it's already quite late isn't it?"

"Of course they'll notice," he sighed.

"Well, I don't care if you don't? Let's just go."

"Hmm, the newlyweds sneaking out of their own wedding party, what will people think of us?"

"Ah, well," she said shrugging and calling his bluff, "we'll just have to go back inside. I'm sure Neville will be up for another dance…"

"I don't remember saying no, Mrs Potter. Are you sure you're ready to leave? It is our wedding day."

"It's our wedding _night_ , and there's no place I'd rather be than home with you right now."

"As you wish," he whispered before apparating them home.

As they arrived outside their home, Severus scooped Hannah up, carrying her bridal style and she rested her head in the crook of this neck. The gate and door opened magically with a minute wave of his hand, and he carried her upstairs. He sat on the side of the bed, putting her on his lap as he held her lightly in his arms and whispered into her ear.

"Welcome home, _Mrs Potter_ ,"

"Hmm, straight to the bedroom," she hummed, "Is that because you're exhausted, or are you just impatiently wanting to ravish your new wife?"

"Both," he sighed, "It's been a long day. Social functions are _exhausting_."

"Oh, come on _husband_! You had a great time, don't even try to deny it!"

"Well, I will admit that I felt extremely proud and grateful that I get to keep you. You look so beautiful today Hannah, I _almost_ don't want to take this dress off you."

"You look pretty stellar too _Mr Potter_." She said trailing her fingers over his chest seductively. He groaned at the sound of his new name, but leaned in and kissed her. His hand strayed underneath her dress, and he caressed her thigh, brushing his thumb over the laced top of her stockings. She felt him smile, and he pulled back slightly.

" _Mrs Potter_ , are you wearing suspenders?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I knew you'd be the death of me months ago. You are utterly irresistible." They gazed at each other for a minute or so, enjoying their first moments alone as husband and wife together. "Hannah, do you regret not waiting?" The question surprised her, and once she processed it, she burst out laughing at the seemingly ridiculous question. How he could possibly think that she might regret their time together, she'd never know.

" _No!_ Why would I, when you made everything so perfect? I am glad we stopped that time you had me against the wall, but…you can't say it wasn't kinda hot."

"Oh, don't," he groaned. "You have no idea how close I was to just taking you there and then. It was worse than in the forest. It was a close thing."

"What really stopped you anyway? You know I would have let you." He chuckled knowingly.

"Yes, I suspect you would have, but I love you, I knew I would hurt you, and your inexperience was _obvious_. Don't worry, we'll definitely try it one day." He said smirking. "Besides, it would have been over far too quickly, and I was worried that if you were left _unsatisfied,_ you'd never let me touch you again," he said amusedly.

"Git. _I knew it_! You know, we could always remove our memories until tomorrow if you want tonight to be more…authentic," she chimed jokingly. His eyes brightened with a wicked glint, and she gulped.

"Wait…you're actually considering it aren't you?"

"Hmm, perhaps, it is an intriguing idea. But tonight I want to be able to remember exactly how you tick Mrs Potter, and we wouldn't want you to be as nervous as you were on our first night together would we?"

"What? No, I wasn't," she said defiantly.

"Yes, you were," he chuckled, " _Oh, Severus, I don't know what I'm doing_!"

"Now you're just being mean." She said as she absent-mindedly played with the buttons on his waistcoat.

"Hmm, and you love it." He purred, but her mind was now elsewhere.

"Okay, _maybe I was_ …but only a tiny bit. I mean it was all new, and you'd obviously been with much more experienced and womanly…women, and I was worried about what you'd think of my body, and well, _me_ , and then Hermione had pretty much told me 'oh you probably won't enjoy it much the first time,' so I thought…I was afraid of, I dunno, not living up to your expectations." Her words all came out in a rush, and she doubted Severus had managed to catch all of it, but he was gazing at her with a look of intense amusement, but also intense love. Unable to hold his gaze she returned to the buttons in slight embarrassment.

" _Only_ a tiny bit?" He asked, still amused. "Your inexperience only meant that I had the privilege of making your first experience as enjoyable as possible, and that I have the satisfaction of knowing _I'm_ the only one to ever make you feel such _pleasure_. _Trust me_ , I savoured every second of it. _Really_ _Hannah_ , such inconsequentialities you worry about…my love." She returned her gaze to his and held it for a long time, just feeling loved. "But, did you _truly believe_ I wouldn't make it _enjoyable_?" He said, mockingly and she snickered at him happily.

"No, I knew you'd take care of me. I just worked myself up too much thinking about it after I saw your memories. When we were actually together, I wasn't really nervous at all, like I said. I feel kind of silly that I even worried about it, you were so loving and gentle."

"In matters of _love,_ at least, there has only ever been you. You're what's been missing for nearly all of my life." He stated, satisfied with her answer before he kissed her passionately, one hand lovingly caressing her waist as the other traced shapes on her back. Still kissing him, she deftly undid the buttons on his waistcoat and shirt before proceeding to caress his torso. Severus, however, was clearly having trouble attempting to undo the back of her dress, and he groaned in frustration.

"Why would they make a dress this complicated to untie for such an occasion?" Hannah giggled with the knowledge and satisfaction that the tables had been turned, and that he was now struggling with her attire instead of the other way around.

"Don't look at me, I've got no idea!" Sighing, she untangled herself from him and stood up. He followed, shrugging off the unbuttoned top half of his dress robes and embraced her from behind, leaning down slightly to kiss her neck.

"You know, I have a most excellent view of your breasts from here," he whispered sultrily into her ear.

"Well, unless you get to work untying me, you're not going to be getting at them any time soon!" He hummed into her neck before returning his attention to the back of her dress, taking his time undoing the fastenings. When he finally finished, the dress was completely loose, and he easily slipped it off her shoulders, the whole garment falling to the floor. He embraced her from behind once again, and returned to kissing her neck as his hands wandered over her torso.

"Hmm…you _are_ wearing suspenders…" he said seductively as his hand wandered down thumbing the material. She turned, pressing herself against him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Yes, I am. Do you approve?"

" _Obviously_ ," he purred. Picking her up and falling on top of the bed with her, he resumed kissing her, allowing his hands to caress her thigh. "Are you going to keep them on?" She arched her eyebrow at him.

"You know you have to unclip them to get at my knickers right? I'm not sure you're going to want to wait that long."

"I suspect…you're right… _wife_ …" he said between trailing kisses down her body. He unclipped the fastenings attached to her stockings tortuously slowly as he kissed her thighs, sensuously removing each stocking. He returned to kissing her on the lips, his hand cupping one of her breasts, teasing her through the lace. Hannah groaned becoming impatient.

"Just _take it off_ already!" She complained breathlessly, earning herself a chuckle. He complied, quickly removing it and she made short work of unfastening his trousers. He pulled them off, throwing them to the floor along with his boxers and returned his attention to her. Gently turning her slightly, so that he could embrace her from behind, he lovingly caressed every part of her skin as he stared lovingly into her eyes. He tucked his arm under hers and held her hand lightly. Relishing in his warmth and the skin to skin contact, Hannah caressed his cheek, and he closed in, kissing her deeply as his other hand reached down to remove her lacy underwear. He started touching her intimately, and she moaned softly as he smirked knowingly at her. Far too soon, a familiar fire was quickly building up within her, and she pressed herself against him even harder.

"Stop…teasing…me," she whispered between breaths as she stared into his lustful, loving eyes. Momentarily giving her relief to position himself, he slowly pushed inside her, kissing her deeply and returning to his impossibly sensual rhythm. Delaying their release for as long as possible, Severus took a slow and gentle pace, and Hannah had time to enjoy the intense intimacy of the position – especially the way he was lovingly holding her against him. As she kissed him intermittently, she squirmed as her pleasure built up until he tipped her over the edge and she was assaulted by waves of pleasure, gripping both of his hands. Feeling her pleasure must have sent him over the edge too, because he found his own relief at the same time, shuddering and burying his head in the crook of her neck. Breathlessly coming down for their highs together they began to relax, and he returned to gingerly stroking her torso with his fingers.

"One of these days, you're going to be fast and rough with me again," she muttered breathlessly, sleepily turning and resting her head on his chest.

"Absolutely insatiable!" He chuckled, equally breathless, "and yet, your wish is my command."

It was the perfect end to the perfect day, and as they dozed off, neither of them knew exactly what the future would bring, but they were positive of one thing. Whatever happened, they would face it together. _Always_.


	23. Vale Decem

Chapter Twenty Three

Vale decem

Waking at dawn, Severus turned over finding the other side of the bed cold and empty. Grabbing his wand from the bedside table and whispering a dim lumos, he blearily surveyed the room. Shivering lightly, and breathing unevenly, Hannah was lying on the floor by the bed. Over the last ten years, she had somehow learnt to undergo the changes during the full moon practically silently. It wasn't something he necessarily approved of, but if it made life easier for her, he wasn't going to complain. Hannah's inability to return to bed, however, was extremely unusual and had only happened once or twice before when she was ill during the transition. Her normal habit was to just get back into bed as if nothing noteworthy had happened, wake him up with tortuously cold fingers and toes, and sleep until mid-day.

Worriedly getting out of bed, he gently picked her up, tucked her under the covers and wrapped himself around her in an attempt to warm her, resting his head on her shoulder sleepily. She was still shivering and hadn't stirred as he lifted her, but after a few minutes had passed, she turned towards him a little in her sleep and muttered something about him "not wanting it," whatever that meant. Feeling intense relief as she returned to a more normal restful slumber, but also frustration at not knowing what her subconscious was talking about, Severus tried to go back to sleep. He hadn't pried into her mind while she was asleep for several years, and he'd only ever done so on the odd occasion she'd had a particularly bad nightmare he couldn't wake her from. They only seemed to happen when she was unusually stressed, and though the temptation was high, the intrusion was something he usually regretted, as such dreams mostly consisted of being killed by Voldemort, or watching people die over and over again. Whatever had happened, she seemed perfectly peaceful now, Severus decided, and he allowed himself to quickly fall back asleep.

HP

Her body aching and heavy, Hannah groggily stretched out her arms and legs, opened her eyes, and yawned. Staring to worry at the absence of any memories from last night, she tried to recall going to bed but failed. Severus must have put her to bed, and judging from the pleasant aroma creeping upstairs from the kitchen, she assumed he was cooking lunch. Forcing her still tired body out of bed, she quickly dressed before looking in the mirror with disdain. Staring at her reflection, she had dark patches under her eyes, and she sighed at the fact that she was starting to look older than her contemporaries already. She even noticed a few grey hairs here and there – something practically unheard of for a witch in her twenties. In a few years, she suspected nobody would be able to tell she was nearly twenty years younger than Severus, but she supposed that was just as well. Though she doubted age would suit her as well as it did her husband. Shaking her head unhappily, she headed downstairs into the kitchen, slumping ungracefully onto a chair at the dining table.

"Afternoon," Severus grumbled, as he plated her up one of the cheese and bacon omelettes he'd been making, taking a seat opposite her.

"Thanks, smells good," she said taking a bite. "Bloody tastes good too. Only good thing about the full moon this is – your cooking!" As usual, Edgar swooped down from his perch and rudely pinched a bit from her plate causing Severus to glare in disapproval.

"One day, you'll actually teach that bird to behave. You look terrible, are you sure you don't need more sleep?"

"Wow, thanks, just what a woman wants to hear from her husband. But to be honest, I really do feel just as bad as I look. You'd think I'd be used to it by now…it's been what? Ten years?" Taking a deep breath, she decided that it would probably be best to bring up her lack of memories immediately, instead of delaying the inevitable, just in case. "I don't remember any of last night. Did anything…odd happen?" He looked up at her sharply, surveying her face.

"Not really, no. But I awoke to find you sleeping unsoundly on the floor…you were freezing, but you didn't stir until after I put you to bed."

"I'm worried…is the potion…what if it's not working properly anymore? Perhaps I should stay away from here next month...just in case."

" _Hannah_ , stop worrying. You were probably just tired. Perhaps you're coming down with something. You've been working far too much lately, that's all."

"Yeah, I know. As soon as this law gets through…"

"There'll be a proposition for a law protecting the bartering rights of niffler's no doubt. There's always going to be something else, _and_ someone else to do it. _You need a holiday_."

" _We_ need a holiday, one where you don't even go anywhere. I just want to stay here and sleep. I feel like I could sleep for a whole month and not wake up!" Sighing and standing, Severus took her hand apologetically, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"I'm sure you're right, but I'm afraid my third year Gryffindor's will blow up the castle if I'm not back in time to start their lesson."

"Probably, that's what I would have done! I'll see you later, and thanks for lunch."

"You're welcome," he said releasing her hand as he headed towards the fireplace. "And don't you _dare_ go into work today! You know they allow you two days off over the full moon, it's time you actually started taking them…" He grumbled with a stern look, before stepping into the fireplace and zooming off back into his office at Hogwarts.

"Yes, _Professor_ ," she whispered tiredly as she sleepily rested her head on her arms, unwillingly accepting that he was right.

Sometimes, it felt to Hannah as if she spent more days having to take her potion than she had without it, and three weeks later, she was sat in the DMC office groaning as she glanced at the red circle drawn on the calendar around the following seven days. Hermione's bright orb was also omitting a soft red glow. The end of the day drawing near, she was looking forward to just going home to a pot of tea, or coffee, depending on whether Sev was home. Absent-mindedly rubbing a sore spot on her breast as she tried to read some of her paperwork, she paid little attention as Rufus entered. He coughed awkwardly to get her attention, and he smiled when she looked up. She'd been working with Rufus since her first day, and she liked the guy. He always did his share of the work, and they had gotten on like a house on fire since the day they met. He'd found his other half in Luna Lovegood, now Luna Scamander, and being a Magizoologist, Luna often visited their office to give her new reports on the subject.

"Am I interrupting something? Do you need some time alone?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Caught with my hand in the biscuit tin," she joked.

"There's supposed to be a departmental meeting on Friday, but I can see you're…indisposed for that day. Shall we rearrange it? I'm sure Draco will be amenable."

"Yeah, just put it to Monday." She sighed. Despite the odds, Draco had somehow become one of her most competent and sympathetic colleagues. She couldn't say they were friends, but they were always courteous to each other, and she was glad she had asked the Ministry to take a chance on him.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, have a good night!"

Before she could say anything else, an interdepartmental memo zoomed towards her, and she grabbed it, scanning the contents. Apparently, Hermione desperately needed her to take care of Rose for the night, as Ron had overenthusiastically informed her that they were going out for a romantic dinner…completely forgetting to organise a baby sitter. Shaking her head, she quickly wrote a note confirming that she'd take on the task, informing Hermione that she'd be waiting at home, would likely be in the potions lab, and instructing her to just come in and find them.

Arriving home, she headed down into the lab and spent the best part of an hour preparing her potion. Looking over at the shelves containing their dry ingredients she noticed that their stock of Silphium was dangerously low _and_ she was running out of her contraceptive potion. _Great_ , she thought, something else to brew. She hoped that Sev would notice and brew it for her.

Thankful that she'd finished her potion before Hermione arrived, she was looking forward to looking after Rose for the night. Taking after her parents, she was a funny and intelligent child, and a pleasure to care for. Somehow, a sinking, knowing feeling suddenly appeared in her chest, and she felt as if her heart had stopped and time had slowed down. Thinking fast, she thought about the last time she brewed a bottle of Silphium – two months ago. Something was telling her not to drink the Wolfsbane, and while she had no reason to suspect anything was amiss, her intuition seemed to be telling her otherwise.

Hurriedly rummaging through their cupboards for ingredients, she brewed as quickly as she could, hoping to have her mind put at ease before Severus arrived home. She hadn't needed to brew such a potion for a while, and it had never tested positive. The last time she'd needed to brew it, she hadn't told him, but she was sure he'd known – after all he was usually the one that kept their potions stores full. Now feeling tense with nerves, with a slightly shaky hand she grabbed a small knife. Only one ingredient was left, and its addition would either confirm her suspicions, or free her of the fear she currently felt. Making a small cut on the tip of her finger, she squeezed a few drops into the potion. After a few seconds, the whole brew turned red. She was expecting, and _Snape_ was going to be furious.

The Wolfsbane potion was still emitting its silver smoke, but she simply sat staring at it in indecision. The plant was poisonous to _normal_ humans, and she knew if she took it, the baby would probably die. If she didn't take it, she'd be a risk to the entire village. _Baby_ , she thought. Could she even call it that yet? What was Severus going to say? Was there a limit to how much he loved her? She was sure he didn't want children…and yet he _had_ stayed at Hogwarts, even after nearly thirty years, and even after stating he was going to quit every summer. But what about the full moon, she wondered. Would she even be able to carry a child to term? Had there been others that she'd never known about? Her hand hovered over the Wolfsbane goblet – she _could_ just take it as normal and accept the consequences, she thought. But then her mind went to Connor, the boy she had met all those years ago, borne to a werewolf woman and she withdrew her hand. Somehow the baby had survived at least one round of Wolfsbane, but she might not get another chance. _Severus_ might not get another chance – _if_ it transpired that that was what he wanted, and just so long as he didn't enter _Snape_ mode.

Her mind now numb, and still sat staring vacantly at the steaming goblet, she vaguely heard the sound of footsteps drawing near, and the rustling of clothes.

"Hmph, I'm starting to think I'm getting too old for this teaching nonsense! Those bloody Weasley kids – just like their father, I'm sure Fred gives them his products just to…" He stopped mid-sentence, and Hannah knew. He'd seen the potion. The build-up of emotions within her was already too much, and she started to cry, covering her face from him. He seemed dumbfounded for a long moment, apparently rooted to the spot. Eventually, she heard him walk closer until he crouched and gently pried her hands from her face to look into her eyes.

"You know," he said softly, "contraception is only effective ninety-nine per cent of the time. How can we possibly beat those odds? I'm amazed this didn't happen years ago." She smiled despite the turbulence of her thoughts, and she let him pick her up to sit down before he placed her on his lap. "Talk to me," he said after she'd simply been leaning against him for a long time without speaking.

"I promise you…I always take my potion, it's ingrained…habit," he sighed and shook his head.

"I already know that, being the one that makes it more often than not. Talk to me about what you _want_ , now that it's happened, you want a baby." He stated it as fact, but did she? "If you didn't, you would already have drunk _that_ ," he said, gesturing to the now greying Wolfsbane.

"No. I mean, yes. No. I wanted your opinion either way. This is something we need to decide together, it's yours just as much as it's mine." He sighed, sounding regretful and he rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"You don't _want_ to kill it, that's just not who you are, and I don't want you to do something you're not happy with."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No, of course not. This is nobody's fault."

"Do you even want a child? I distinctly remember you saying no."

"I…don't know. I've avoided thinking about it. You're the one that has to carry it though, and our situation is not ideal."

"I'm afraid." She said, leaning into his neck, trying to stop a renewed flow of tears.

"So am I. Whatever happens now, it's going to be difficult. Hannah, you need to be aware that…there's a very good chance it won't work out."

"I know, but there's also a very good chance that it will. We know it _can_ work out, you remember Connor?"

"How could I forget? It took him several years to give up sending you letters. I've always thought you've wanted to talk about having children since you met him. Why didn't you?"

"You're one to talk, it's not like you brought it up either! I suppose I got distracted. You know, there was you, my career, you, my friends…and _you_! We're already happy, I didn't want to rock the boat asking for too much. Sometimes I feel a bit…I dunno…greedy."

"Hannah, you never ask or want for anything! Honestly, you're on your way to becoming the head of your department! Soon we'll be able to buy a mansion to rival the Malfoy's on your salary alone, not including mine, but when was the last time you actually bought anything? Do you even know how much money we have in our vault? It's a pretty hefty sum, and if you don't start spending some money we're going to have to transfer to a bigger vault!"

She thought that was a slight exaggeration, and she'd never want to live in anything as grand and imposing as Malfoy manor, but she had to reluctantly admit that she honestly had no idea how much money they had. The only time she ever spent any money was when they needed clothes or food, despite the fact that Severus bought books, music and new potion supplies all the time. She dared not attempt to add up all of her unspent wages that had accumulated over the past ten years, but she thought that if they were going to have a child, then financially speaking, at least they'd have the uncommon luxury of _no worries_ for a few years.

"Um…no. I should probably look into that… look I guess it's just how I grew up. I already have everything I want…at least I thought I did. You…and apparently, this," she said taking his warm hand and placing it on her abdomen.

"Alright," he said softly, not even attempting to argue.

"We need to make plans…what will I do during the full moon? We live in a village full of muggles, and we only have a few days…"

"We'll work something out. This cellar could be cleared – I can lock the door with magic, but I hate the idea of you being in here alone. Hannah…after ten years with you…I can't imagine a life without you. If a decision has to be made…I'll pick you – every time. If something happens during the full moon, and I have to save you, I will." Looking into his eyes, she could see that he meant it. She was about to argue, but then she considered what she would do if the roles were reversed.

"That's…fair. Would you have judged me, if I'd just taken the Wolfsbane?"

"No, I wouldn't have _judged_ you, but I'd be pretty pissed that you didn't talk to me about it first. We're supposed to decide things together as a team. This hasn't happened before, has it? I know you've had to brew a test before from the ingredients that needed replacing."

"No. It's never come out as positive before, you know I'd tell you. Are you okay with this? I mean we're going to be parents…someone's going to shout 'dad,' and they're going to mean you…"

"I suppose it's a better title than _git_ ,"

"Well, they might shout that too!" Sighing, he leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I'm okay with it. At least I will be…when it's born. For now, I'm just worried about you, it's going to be very difficult, and I'm going to be insufferable."

"I know, but it'll be worth it. I'm betting they'll take after you! Can you imagine a little mini Severus running around? _So cute_!"

"Good God, I hope not! It's going to be a girl, with green eyes like yours."

"Then they'll definitely be calling you git!"

" _If_ I survive your hormones long enough to meet them! You might kill me in a psychopathic rage due to a lack of some ridiculous food I've never heard of…"

"Oh, great…I'm going to get angry, sad, and fat. Not to mention the stretch marks and a constant need to pee…"

"Hmm…yes you are…"

"Will you still love me anyway?"

"No," he said sarcastically. "Tears and stretch marks will completely change how I feel about you."

"Git."

"Hannah, you realise you're going to have to slow down? You're going to have to seriously think about putting your career on hold…you might not have a choice. Even if everything goes to plan, you're going to be much more exhausted than any… _normal_ mother."

"I know, I'll speak to them about it. They have to give me the best part of a year anyway. I'm going to wait another month or two to say anything though, just in case."

"We'll have to see how it pans out. Hopefully, everything will be fine and you'll stay healthy. But, either way, I think…when it's born…I don't think you'll want to leave the child that early on. Not after your own dismal childhood, and I'm not sure I'm going to want to either."

"Sev, you're giving me a headache…there's way too much to think about. For now, can't we just be happy about it? We've got months to decide on the particulars."

"I'm just trying to be pragmatic. We're going to have to visit Saint Mungo's at some point too. Not a chance in hell am I going to be delivering a baby." She frowned at the idea of having some stranger poke and prod at her, but she supposed it would be a necessary evil, and in all honesty, she'd probably rather he didn't deliver the baby too.

"Aren't you _always_? Do you think they've had many cases like this before?"

"I've no idea. I doubt it will matter, just so long as you get that far…"

"It's not going to die Sev, I can't say how I know, I've just got a feeling. I reckon you'll be pretty attached too, you know." He grunted gruffly, and she imagined Severus bent over a cauldron teaching a small child, and then teaching them the best hexes to use on their classmates. Disrupting her conjured vision of their child, she heard the door above them in the main house, followed by footsteps and the cheery voice of Rose. She jumped down hurriedly and looked apologetically at Severus.

"Oh, shit! I forgot – we're babysitting tonight. Hermione asked me earlier, it's just Rose – she's a good kid anyway, _much_ better behaved than Teddy. I guess we can consider it practise."

"Hmph. Wonderful. She's here so often we're going to have to start charging a fee. It's going to be dreadful when she starts school, she's already immune to my intimidating aura. I have a reputation to maintain you know!"

"Don't complain – we'll be able to call in favours!"

SP

Worriedly surveying their potions lab, Severus reluctantly waved his wand and watched as their potions supplies and equipment packed itself away tidily. Brewing was one of the ways he de-stressed, and this was going to be a very stressful few months. He wondered if he could temporarily convert the table in the kitchen as a makeshift workspace, but supposed it wouldn't be too much of a big deal. If they needed to brew anything complicated, he could just temporarily unpack everything.

Truthfully, he was far more worried than he was letting on to Hannah, and he expected she was far more afraid than she was letting on too. He hoped that everything would go smoothly, that nature would take its course and that Hannah would come out of it healthy. He hadn't dared tell her, but somehow, he felt a strong sense of resentment to the life they had created, and he didn't know what he would do if it survived and she did not. Everything packed up into a small cabinet, he turned as he heard tentative steps draw near. She was rubbing the faded scar on her arm and surveying the room nervously.

"Hannah, try not to worry. Everything's going to be fine. You'll be perfectly safe in here."

"I know. It's no big deal, not really. It's just…been a long time since I've not been in control, and why do I get the impression that you're saying that to convince yourself just as much as me?" Drawing in close to her, he kissed her, enjoying the reassuring and comforting familiarity of her soft, pliant lips on his, hoping that she would feel the same. "You'll go to bed, as usual, won't you?" Not likely, he thought,

"Do you want the truth or a semi-pleasant lie?"

"You're going to wait just outside the door aren't you?" Of course, he was. How could he possibly get some sleep under these circumstances?

"Probably, and if you put up a silencing charm, I'm just going to cancel it." Her fingers gripped his cloak tightly, and she winced silently.

"It's…time for you to go…" she whispered. Taking in her changing eyes, he tried to assess her, but she already seemed closed off. It really was time to go, and he exited the room, magically locking the door behind him. Sitting down, he leant his head against the door and closed his eyes, holding his breath, waiting to hear something. _Anything_.

If he thought it had been difficult ten years ago in the room of requirement, it was nothing compared to now. He tried to distract himself by thinking about the last time they were in this predicament, and a small, reluctant smile graced his lips as he thought about how both times had been momentous occasions in their relationship. Had she not have miscalculated the cycle of the moon ten years ago, he'd likely never have kissed her, and he was eternally grateful that a single moment of relative madness had brought them together. His smile grew wider as he considered the fact that she probably would have been brave enough to pursue him even if they hadn't each succumbed to their own madness that night. He hoped that in a few years he'd be able to look back on the next few months in the same way.

Abruptly dragged out of his reverie by the sound of growling and scratching at the door, he placed his hand on the wood, not knowing whether he should feel relieved, afraid, or sorrowful. Having magically strengthened and sealed the door, he knew there was no way she could get out, but from the sounds of her sniffing and violent scratching only a few inches away, that was clearly what she was trying to do. Despite the knowledge that he was safe, his heart was beating fast, and adrenaline was coursing through his body. She could obviously smell him through the door, and for a few minutes he seriously considered retreating, but he thought his presence would likely serve as a distraction, preventing her from biting and scratching at herself. Intermittently snarling, scratching and sniffing at the door between what he assumed to be searching the room for another exit, Severus spent the next few hours just listening, hoping in vain that she'd calm down and sleep. Several times he almost nodded off, but then he'd hear her at the door again and be unable to rest.

Eventually, the long night came to an end, and he heard nothing but silence. Unsealing the door, he tentatively opened it and cautiously stepped inside. Thankfully, she was awake, though looking exhausted, and was sat wrapped in the cloak she'd been wearing when he left. He noticed there were small smears of blood on the door where she had been trying to get out.

"Hey…long night huh?" She said, yawing and attempting a smile, but only really managing a grimace.

"Exceedingly…where has all the blood come from? Show me." Still gripping her cloak with one hand, she held out the other and shook her head.

"Apparently, I really was trying to get out." Sitting by her, he took her hand in his and examined it. Her nails had been worn down painfully, and the skin on her fingers was sore and bloody. Tenderly holding her hand his both of his, he wandlessly healed it and proceeded to heal the other. Holding her hand tightly, he leant his head on hers as she sleepily rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you remember anything?"

"I just remember needing to get out, and smelling you on the other side of the door. It was strange actually…I remember smelling your fear and needing to find out what was causing it. It was like I needed to get to you to _help you_ or something…weird, last time I vividly remember wanting to sink my teeth into you." Nothing she said made any sense, and he wondered if she remembered things incorrectly. He couldn't fathom why the wolf would want anything more than biting him. Perhaps he should ask to view some of her memories, he thought before dismissing the idea.

"That's…I don't understand."

"Me neither. Hopefully, after a few months, I'll just sleep. Not sure how I'm going to manage carrying a human baby in a wolf body, especially if the stupid creature insists on running around all night."

"You're not exactly smaller, but I know what you mean. It's…confusing."

"Your worst nightmare, not being able to wrap your mind around something, I'm sure."

"Indeed. How many more times are we going to have to go through this?"

"Well, the lady that scanned me at Saint Mungo's estimated that I was eight or nine weeks in…so…"

"While constantly scowling at me, like everything is my fault! We should have used a glamour on you, everywhere we go…" He rubbed his forehead irritatedly at the memory. "There's going to be at least six or seven more then? I highly doubt you'll carry to term. It'll be too much stress on your body."

"Probably not, I wouldn't be surprised if I end up going into labour just after the full moon…bloody hell…I can barely keep my eyes open _now_ …I don't even want to think about having to give birth in this condition…"

"Just so long as you're human…" he muttered. She was falling asleep against him, and he nudged her. "Are you going to make it to bed, or am I going to have to carry you?"

"Hmm? Oh, I can walk," she said sleepily as she slowly stood, wincing as she did so.

"Do you require healing anywhere else? Do you want me to double check?" She arched her eyebrow at him and smiled, her eyes glinting with amusement.

"No, I'm fine. Don't think I don't know you just want me to take off my cloak…some things never change."

"Oh please, I'm far too stressed and exhausted to be thinking about _that_! I was genuinely concerned. Removing your cloak would simply be a delightful bonus!" Sleepily returning to the main house and heading upstairs, Severus watched Hannah collapse ungracefully onto the bed before following, uncharacteristically intending to sleep until mid-afternoon.

The two full moons that followed came and went in a similar fashion. Hannah retreated to the basement, and Severus sat patiently on the other side of the door, completely unable to attempt to sleep. Both times, the wolf was just as eager to get to him as it was the first month, Severus had needed to heal her fingers, plus a few extra wounds she had inflicted on herself in frustration. By the time the fourth full moon was approaching, Severus was getting frustrated.

Once again finding himself banished outside, he sat growing ever more impatient as he listened to the growls, snarls and even occasional whimpers from the other side of the door. He heard a loud crash come from inside and he muttered several swear words as he realised that they'd neglected to remove all of the potion equipment this month after needing to restock. He _knew_ there was nothing harmful in there, and he _knew_ that he should just go to bed instead of creepily lurking outside every month. He _could_ just put up a silencing charm and sleep. _That_ was what Hannah wanted him to do, and if it was anyone else, that's what he would have done on the first month. But it wasn't anyone else, it was her, and he'd had enough of hiding and having to listen to her harm herself. He was tired, emotional, and just about irrational enough to play with fire. He wasn't even sure if he cared whether or not he got bitten, and though he knew she'd probably be angry at him, at this point, he'd rather be in there as a wolf with her. For someone that prided themselves on a near-constant sense of decorum and propriety, that was something.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerve and readying his wand, he opened the door, shielding himself with a powerful protego and closing the door quickly behind him. His eyes scanned the room, but even in the darkness of the basement she was easy to spot with her green eyes giving her away. Quickly lighting the candles in the chandelier while keeping his eyes on her, it was immediately obvious that her behaviour was _different_. Aside from a few angry snarls as he entered the room, she seemed to have calmed and was sniffing the air as she crept towards him almost confusedly. Feeling strangely more at ease inside the room than he did outside of it, Severus wondered how many nights she had spent in this form over the past ten years. He was obviously far too desensitised to her because he actually felt less fearful now than he did a few minutes ago conjuring up images of her as he listened to her violent growling. As she reached him, she circled him as if assessing him and tried to get closer, failing as his protego kept her at arms distance. Looking up at him, she abruptly bowed before trotting off and returning to bow in front of him again, her tail high in the air. If Severus didn't know any better, she was trying to _play_ , despite the fact that this wolf was definitely _bigger_ than the last time he saw her. Rooted in place, he was completely unable to react in any kind of meaningful way as his confusion and shock took over.

Giving up after several minutes, she stretched out, yawning, and lay down beside him looking up at him. He tried to communicate mentally with her, but just as normal wolves do, he was unable to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. He tried calling her name and talking to her, and though the sound of his voice definitely got her attention, she clearly recognised nothing meaningful. She was definitely a werewolf, with his Hannah remaining dormant, but she also clearly had no interest in attacking him either.

It took several minutes of intense mental debate for Severus to sit next to her, and at least an hour before he had the nerve to take down his protego. For the most part, she appeared completely indifferent to him, and she curled up, quickly falling asleep. As he watched her, an intense need to re-familiarise himself with the feel of his fingers running through her fur overwhelmed him, and he cautiously ran his fingers over the hair on her head knowing full well that she could turn and bite him faster than he'd even be able to flinch. No longer surprised when she didn't, he simply continued to pet her as she sleepily opened her eyes and watched him watching her.

The rest of the night passed by in a haze of confusion as he simply sat with her, waiting. In some ways he became even more impatient, hoping that she would be able to enlighten him as to what the wolf was thinking, and he spent his time wondering why he'd not been savagely attacked the moment he entered the room. Perhaps the creature knew who he was after spending so much time with him. Or, maybe werewolves simply didn't hunt when they were pregnant he thought. Could she know he was the father?

Whatever the reason, he was glad that she was simply sleeping beside him, almost as if she'd taken the Wolfsbane, but without the mental chatter they were accustomed to. He'd been so distracted, that he was almost surprised when she woke up and started to return to her human form. After all this time, she still didn't like him watching, so he turned away and averted his gaze until the process was complete.

Before he'd even dared to look at her, he stiffened as he felt her grab his shirt aggressively, and push him forcefully against the wall he'd been leaning on. So in tune to her after so many years, he could feel her magic crackling angrily, and he wondered just how powerful she could be if she ever used all of it. She was livid, and he suspected he deserved it, but he regretted nothing.

"You stupid, stupid man! Why? _Why_ would you risk that!? I could have _bitten_ you! I could have _killed_ you! I could be sat here crying over your mangled corpse, knowing I've killed the father of my child!" Tears were trickling down her face in anger, and he started to feel guilty.

"Yet, here I am, fearing for my life far more now than I was two hours ago."

"This is not a joke! What possessed you? Please tell me I'm not going to have to have you locked up in an insane asylum!"

"Stop being over emot…"

"Oh, don't you dare Severus! This has nothing to do with me being pregnant. That was a really, _really_ stupid, selfish, reckless, careless thing to do!"

"Selfish? I simply couldn't take anymore. I couldn't stand by and do nothing anymore."

"Yes, selfish! _You couldn't take it_ , even though you knew that _I can_ and that I _have_ to. I told you, it's no big deal! Stop making it one!"

"The problem, Hannah, is that it is a big deal _to me_. You're my wife. In strength _and in weakness_. When you're in that room, alone, I have no idea what is happening! How do I know if you're alright? How do I know if something has gone wrong? I don't! I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't wait outside not knowing if you'd harm yourself – or the baby. What if you miscarry? You might not…before I get back…" Cutting off mid-sentence, he angrily looked away. Her grip on him loosened, and though he was still angry, he brought his hands up to hers.

"Now who's being over-emotional?" She whispered softly. "Did you even guess? That I wouldn't attack you?" He returned his eyes to hers and wiped away her remaining tears before pulling her close and wrapping his cloak around her to keep her warm.

"No. For once in my life, I wasn't thinking. I took a leaf out of your book and jumped in head first. What do you remember? Can _you_ explain why I'm still amongst the realm of the living?"

"No. I just know that it wasn't feeling any bloodlust towards you. If anything it thought…never mind, it's stupid. Like you-you _must_ be taking a leaf out of my book with your recklessness. I think we may have swapped places."

"Perhaps. But tell me, what was she thinking? I've been going out of my mind!"

"It's a bloody animal Sev, it doesn't think in that way! I'm not even sure, but I think it _knows_ that you the father…don't ask _me_ how. _I think_ you're just lucky – it couldn't be bothered to hunt you while pregnant!"

"We talk about her like she's an abstract thing. She's not – you're still in there, somewhere." Her eyes still glistening, she looked doubtful, and he truly wondered what it felt like to be inside the wolfs head. Pulling his cloak off him to cover herself, she tiredly headed towards the door.

"Let's just…go to bed. I'm tired."

"As you wish," he said following her and feeling eternally grateful that she hadn't reached for her wand.

Several weeks later, Hannah must have finished work slightly earlier than usual, because when Severus arrived home, she was already curled up on the sofa looking thoroughly miserable and it seemed like her magic was spreading an irrational aura of sorrow into the air.

"Are you alright?" She abruptly burst into tears startling him, and he hesitantly approached her. "What's wrong?"

"I just…we don't have any food." _Ah_ , he thought, suspecting that this would indeed be the moment she asked him for some strange food he'd never heard of.

"We have lots of food…"

"Yeah…you're _fancy food_. We don't have anything simple! The perils of marrying a potions master – everything you cook has to be overcomplicated. Although, I swear you'd eat a worm if it had a fancy Italian name!" Biting his tongue at her sharp tone of voice, he decided to simply cut to the chase and ask her what she wanted.

"Tell me what you want, and I'll do my best."

"I want…chicken nuggets." Of course, he had no idea what that was.

"I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds…" Unappetising, he thought thinking it was unlikely he'd come up with a new recipe out of something that sounded so unappealing.

"Delicious, right! Come on, you _must_ know, muggle kids eat them all the time…they're like bits of chicken squished into a roundish shape with breadcrumbs or batter on. The Dursley's used to make me eat them all the time coz they're cheap. I haven't had them in years."

"I can't imagine _why_ …" Because he did most of the cooking, he thought, and he made sure she ate better than _bits of chicken squished into shapes._

"Will you go to the muggle shop down the road for me? There's some muggle money in the pot on the windowsill." Opening it, he examined the paper and coins inside trying to remember how it worked. The last time he regularly used muggle currency he was a small child – before the decimal system came into place, though he was never going to admit that to Hannah. Although Hannah occasionally visited the village shop to buy muggle treats she'd mostly missed out on during her childhood, so far, Severus had managed to escape such shopping trips. "You'll probably find them in the frozen section," she said as her eyes lit up excitedly. "Do you know what will go with that? Call me crazy…but strawberry ice cream sauce! Who needs ketchup when you can have strawberry sauce?" Definitely pregnancy cravings he thought, chuckling as he answered.

"I'll see what I can do." Wondering how on Earth he was going to manage shopping in a muggle shop without looking like the village idiot, he headed towards the door but was interrupted.

"You can't go into the village looking like that! I think you should put on jeans and a t-shirt if you're going to be in a muggle shop." Smiling wryly he quickly transfigured his cloak into a long black coat that wouldn't stand out in the muggle world.

"My love, I would do many things for you, but wearing such atrocious muggle attire out in public is not one!"

"Oh, well. You can change when you get back then!" Somehow, he had a feeling he would relent to her request.

Having too much pride to ask the elderly shop keeper where he might find a potentially incredibly common muggle food, he eventually found a bag of what claimed to be the food Hannah so desired. Practically sneering at the packet, he wondered how she could possibly be craving something so unappetising. Never-the-less, he continued on his quest and found the strawberry ice cream sauce she'd wanted. Noticing some biscuits she'd bought a couple of times, he picked them up too and handed over their money to the far too nosy shop attendant. Hannah knew some of the villagers and certainly wasn't shy about making friends with the local muggle families whenever she was out and about. Severus, however, had little interest in getting to know _anybody_ , and despite living in the village for ten years, he wasn't exactly a recognised face. The old shop keeper found him far too interesting, wanting to know who he was and where he lived, and though he replied with short, terse answers, she continued to chew his ear off for several minutes before he finally interrupted her with a curt "good day," and headed home.

Staring at the confusingly simple muggle cooking instructions, he decided to just cook them magically. When he returned to the living room, she'd fallen asleep, and he gently woke her, presenting her with a plate full of confusingly pleasant smelling pieces of chicken with a dipping bowl full of the strawberry sauce. Her eyes lit up happily, and he couldn't help but return the smile she was wearing.

"Wow, look at that! I never thought I'd see the day. Severus handing me a plate of atrocious muggle food!" She giggled and sat up making room for him to sit by her. "Thanks, Sev, smells great!" She took a piece, dipping it into the sauce before shoving the whole thing in her mouth. "Oh, god…this Sev, this is what our relationship has been missing!" He doubted she'd still feel chicken nuggets were an essential ingredient in their relationship in a few months, but he watched in amusement as she ate another, and _another_. The aura of sadness she had been inadvertently spreading into the room had completely dissipated and had been replaced with a feeling of contentment. He flicked his wand at the grammar phone and music began playing in the background. Pausing in her demolition when she saw the biscuits he bought, she looked into his eyes comically seriously for a moment. " _I love you_."

"I love you too."

"Try one."

"Oh, I don't love you _quite_ _that much_."

"More for me and…" Abruptly putting down her plate of food, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her now very definite bump. "Can you feel that?" He could. The baby clearly approved of his taste in music he thought, because he could just about feel it moving. "See? You're missing out. Baby _clearly_ approves of chicken nuggets." Severus snorted and smiled wryly at her sparkling happy eyes.

" _Ridiculous_. She obviously approves of my superior taste in music!"

"Yeah, you tell yourself that old man! You seem pretty positive it's a girl. I know we decided to wait and see but don't get your hopes up, I'm wanting a mini Severus." She said as she resumed eating, continuously dipping her chicken in the strawberry dip.

"Wishful thinking probably." He lightly traced some of the thin lines that had appeared on her abdomen with interest, his fingers following them in what he hoped would be a reassuring way.

"Yeah, I know. This kids already ruined my body. I dread to think what I'm going to look like after they're born. Ravaged probably. You're not going to want to touch me."

"Ridiculous! You'll always be beautiful to me. I don't know why you put such stock in things that matter so little."

"I dunno, I'm already looking older than I am. Don't want you trading me in for a younger model do I?" She said teasingly.

"You say that as if I could cope with a younger model! But I do wish you wouldn't worry about such things. They really don't matter. You know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Just feeling sorry for myself, that's all. Do you have a potion that can get rid of them?" The question caused him to chuckle.

"No. It's not an injury and potions can't solve everything you know."

"Wow…it's only taken you - what, seventeen years of me knowing you to get you to admit that?"

"Oh, don't look so pleased with yourself. Have you thought of any names?"

"Hmmm….Freddie." He looked at her in disdain. Despite what the Weasley family thought, it wasn't a name he cared for. "Jeff, Bob, Sebastien…ooh no, I like alliteration, maybe Phineas, or Percival, Pasqual? Wait…I have the perfect name…Prince! Yup, it's decided. Prince for a boy. She looked at him wickedly, knowing full well she was torturing him. "Well then, what's your choice for a girl?" He pretended to think for a while, before accosting her with his own equally unsuitable names.

"…Daisy or Dott. But if you want to stick with the alliteration idea then Pricilla, Persephone or … Pandora. That would suit. Pandora for a girl, she's definitely going to be opening a whole box load of trouble being your child, no doubt. Hannah giggled and gave him her best pretend disapproving glare.

"Are you feeling better now that your cravings are being satisfied?"

"Mmhmm. Listen, I've decided. As much as I love you, things are going to get pretty boring around here when I finish work. Plus you're still going to be working in the day. I've got some muggle contractors to convert the outbuilding into a kind of muggle study. You know with a television and a computer and music and…stuff. Probably best to avoid letting them see the rest of the house. So if you see some deliciously hot muggle men wandering around, don't worry, I still only have eyes for you!" She winked, and he rolled his eyes.

"If you think you'll have time to be bored with a baby around, you're definitely wrong. But, why do you want muggle technology?"

"Well, there's not going to be much for me to _do_ when I start maternity leave. I mean I'm not going to sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for the baby to arrive. It'll give me something new to focus on. Besides, trust me, _our child_ is going to be attending the muggle primary school, and I'll not be having them being the only one that doesn't know about the most basics of muggle technology. Way too many kids start Hogwarts without knowing the most obvious things how ordinary people live. It's positively scandalous how little some wizards know about life outside of our world. I want our child to be well rounded and able to integrate with whoever they want to." Her sentiment was admirable, but he found it difficult to believe it could be practical in reality.

"And what about accidental magic? How would you stop her from giving us away? What about when her friends and their parents want to visit?" _And putting up with them_ , he omitted.

"We'll work something out. We can just claim to be a bit eccentric. Anyway, I did lots of accidental magic in school. Nobody really took much notice of it. People see and believe what they want to believe, regardless of the facts, you know that. But Severus? Would it bother you if…never mind." He wasn't going to let her get away without explaining, and he raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Explain."

"Well, you know…if they were a squib. Would it bother you?" He considered lying for a moment, but sighed and stated the truth.

"Yes." She looked horrified, but he held his hand up attempting to stop an outburst of emotion and criticism in its path. "Only because they would be missing out on so much. When you have magic, potentially you could choose either life. If you wanted you could snap your wand, marry a muggle, get a muggle job and never even bother to tell your partner, just so long as you have enough skill to control yourself. But without magic – there's no real choice, even if you marry someone with magic, you'll always be imagining what it's like. You'd probably be full of jealousy and resentment. It's also difficult to be raised in a world you don't feel you belong in, as you know. Imagine being _our child_ , and not getting your Hogwarts letter. But I'm sure I would love them no differently if that was what you were really asking."

"I guess it was. Well, I'm sure that won't happen anyway. Jeez, I haven't really thought about what the poor kid might go through being…well…ours. We're a complicated pair."

"Indeed. But regarding their magical ability, frankly, I would be astonished if it was lacking with the way you've been throwing your magic around like a grumpy teenager lately. Your emotions have been literally palpable at times. I don't know if it's because we're so in tune with each other or if it's just because you're feeling emotional. But I'm certainly glad you haven't attacked me with it yet. What was it that those billy wigs did to you to make you explode them all over the kitchen?"

"I didn't like the way they were looking at me! They were creeping the hell out of me! You shouldn't be leaving your potion ingredients lying around the house anyway!"

"Yes, well. I'm going to have to buy some more if I'm ever going to restock on our supply of Wideye potion. I think it's pretty obvious why we might be needing some with you currently almost seven months pregnant, at least by the moon. Everything from now is only going to get even more stressful."

"I know…but please tell me you're not going to keep invading _my territory_?" He was confident that he could defend himself if anything went wrong, and now things were getting riskier he knew he wouldn't be able to just wait around or sleep.

"I'm not going to be kept away at such a critical time. Don't worry, you're getting so fat I doubt she'll want to do much but sleep from now on, perhaps I should cook _her_ some chicken too!" She threw a pillow at him angrily, but her eyes betrayed her, shining with amusement.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean? Do you know, I think you'll deserve it if you get bitten!" He watched in amusement as she folded her arms grumpily and frowned, looking serious. She stared at him for a long time and was clearly in debate with herself, but she must have known she'd never get him to agree, finally accepting his resolve. "Fine. But you're playing with fire, don't blame me if you get burned!"

"I wouldn't dream of it, my love."

Just as he promised, he invaded her territory, as he had done the month before. Thankfully, he was correct in his assumption that she would sleep throughout the night and he was able to wait it out with her, dozing in and out of consciousness. Somehow, she'd remained sleeping after transforming and he swallowed his pride, casting a featherlight charm on her so he could carry her to bed more easily. Luckily, it was a Saturday morning, and he gratefully collapsed into bed next to her, thankful for her continued good-health.

Waking around mid-day to a strange rumbling sound, followed by a tapping on the ceiling, he clambered out of bed and climbed into the attic hoping to find the source of the irritating sound. As he entered the room, the blood drained from his face, and his breathing hitched as his heart sank to the floor in despair. Automatically taking a step back in horrified surprise, he stared at the creature before him. A large black wolf was sprawled out on the floor, it's dead, vacant green eyes looking out into the distance without any hint of the spark that is life evident within them.

He shakily raised his wand at the creature, _knowing_ that the real Hannah was sleeping soundly in the room beneath him, yet finding himself somehow momentarily unable to utter the spell that would banish the thing for what it was – a simple boggart. Attempting to focus, he uttered the spell needed to transform it, but the thing only shifted into another taunting effigy. This time, the primordial scream of an infant penetrated the room as a small baby appeared by a dead, very human Hannah. Finding himself unable to act, or even think, he stood mute, the taunting image keeping him motionless for a long while until he heard footsteps climbing the ladder he'd used to reach the attic.

Panicking at being caught unable to handle a simple boggart, he cast his spell again in desperation, but the creature only transformed the human Hannah into a wolf Hannah, and the infant continued its deafening cry. He could now hear footsteps on the floorboards but somehow found himself still frozen, staring at the grotesque scene before him. After a few short moments, he heard a whispered ' _riddikulus'_ and the creature became a fluffy stuffed toy wolf that Hannah magically pushed back into the cupboard it had been hiding in, locking the door behind it. Lowering his wand, he turned away from her in shame, partially expecting some scathing remark about his teaching skills, but it never came. Instead, he felt her hand comfortingly holding his, and he looked at her reluctantly.

"Wow Sev, I didn't know you cared! I'm amazed, I always thought your boggart would be Voldemort or a hilariously ironic snake!" She joked. Snorting disgruntledly, he turned away again, angry with himself. "Are you alright? That boggart wasn't exactly a pretty sight." She said, softening her tone comfortingly. He simply nodded, not trusting his voice yet. "You know…you don't always have to be the strong one. We're a team, remember…and you don't need to worry, I have absolutely no intentions of dying, so you won't be stuck with a baby all by yourself." Snapping his eyes back to hers he wondered if she truly knew the extent of his unspoken and unwillingly revealed fears. "Severus…everything is going to be fine."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. There's no evidence otherwise, and I feel great. At least I did until a minute ago."

"And what if you're wrong? I don't know how you're so utterly fearless. I'm not…capable of raising a child alone. I don't have the right…demeanour. It's going to hate me."

"No, they won't! You're going to be a right pushover. Just think about our relationship! To the outside world you're a snarky, stuck-up snake in the grass, but with me, you're a big old cuddly softy with the biggest heart imaginable. It'll be the same with our kid. Anyway, I worry about you too, you know…going into the wolves den every month!" She looked angry for a moment, but her eyes twinkled, and she leaned up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "We worry because we still love each other, even after putting up with each other for ten years! I hear that's relatively uncommon these days. Honestly, I'm just touched that your biggest fear is my death! What was it before?"

"I don't know. I've avoided stepping in front of it when teaching for years…but last time it was Nagini. The class went _wild_." She giggled at the irony, and he merely rolled his eyes at her before releasing her hand and climbing down the ladder.

By the time the next full moon was due, Hannah was looking very pregnant indeed. Muggle contractors had been and gone, having completed Hannah's dream of a muggle study, filling it with muggle technology he had little understanding of. He reluctantly had to admit that the room contained some interesting looking muggle devices that could prove useful for a child, and had been impressed with how good his favourite music sounded through muggle technology. The bill, however, had been eye-watering when he converted it into Galleons, and Severus vowed not to complain that she didn't spend any money ever again. Though he had to admit, it had been well deserved. They had also decided it was finally time to organise the spare bedroom into a nursery, filling it with everything they would need for a new arrival.

On her final day of work, Hannah had stayed on far too long and feeling too impatient to wait for her, Severus made his way to her office in the Ministry using the floo. His irritation only increased when he bumped into Gawain Robards – the head of the Auror office, and he sneered at the man.

"Oh, _Mr Potter_. Come to collect your wayward wife have you? She's in her office _talking_ with Rolf _again_. How you're not suspicious of her present… _condition_ with her spending so much time with him, I've no idea." He continued walking, thoroughly intending to ignore the irritating man that only ever had negative things to say about his and Hannah's relationship, never having gotten over Hannah's snubbing of his department. Unfortunately, Gawain followed him all the way to Hannah's office, stopping outside. "Oh, come Severus! You must be a little suspicious? They get on so well, and he's one of the best looking young men in the Ministry." Shrugging, and unwilling to give the irritating man the time of day, Severus opened the door only to find Hannah had fallen asleep at her desk. He smiled amusedly and crossed his arms as he took in the scene.

"I trust my wife, Gawain. For your sake, I do hope you haven't been tarnishing her good name with such outrageous slander! After all, I can _promise_ you I would take absolutely no _pleasure_ in watching her hex you into tomorrow."

"What's…oh, hi, Severus. Please don't curse me, I tried to wake her up, but I thought she could do with the sleep considering she's going to have a long night tomorrow. I'm waiting for her to wake up too, to be honest. Can I help you, Mr Robards?" Rolf said as he came around the corner with a freshly made cup of tea.

"Mr Robards here believes you to be the father of Hannah's unborn child. Apparently, you don't spend much time _talking_." Severus said mockingly as he stalked his way towards Hannah causing Rolf to sputter some of his tea, stiffen and look terrified that Severus would soon ensure that he'd find himself unable to father any children at all. " _Oh please_ , don't flatter yourself, I've more important things to worry about." He said, gently placing his hand on Hannah's shoulder to wake her and giving her his best stern glare as she woke.

"You, Mrs Potter are an impertinent, stubborn, foolish woman and I regret ever laying my eyes on you for the trouble you cause me."

"And you're an impatient, irritating old man with no manners," she replied as she stretched out her limbs.

"Have you decided to move in here, or are you _finally_ going to come home?"

"I'm sorry, Sev. I must have fallen asleep. But it is my last day for a long time, I just wanted to make sure I leave everything organised. Can't make it look like I'm a lazy, unorganised so and so to my successor can I?"

"I can see that, and I'm not surprised. Despite my best efforts you've kept working to the very last minute. Come on, you better be off to bed, it's getting late, and you've got a long night tomorrow."

" _If_ I can sleep. I just can't get comfortable these days. Sev? Do you know what tomorrow is?"

"The full moon."

"And?"

"Your eighth month of pregnancy." He knew full well what she was trying to get out of him, but he couldn't help but tease her a little.

"It's our wedding anniversary. Ten bloody years I've been putting up with you. Don't pretend you don't remember. I know you better than that."

"Hmm. Lucky me. _Vale decem_. That's ten years I won't get back!"

"Always such a git!" She said with a bright smile before giving him a brief kiss on the lips. A gruff cough interrupted their reverie, and Severus sneered at Gawain in disdain.

"Well, if this is a couple arguing about being overworked, overstressed and under loved then it makes me sick…"

"Come now, Gawain. I'm sure you _remember_ what it's like to be happily married. It's not our fault your wife left you for another woman now _is it_?" Severus said sarcastically noticing Hannah's eyes brighten as she tried to stifle a giggle.

He waited patiently as she said her goodbyes to her colleagues for the foreseeable future, and he watched unsurprised as Rolf gave her a card and a beautifully arranged bunch of lilies from him and Luna causing Hannah to shed a few happy tears. When she was ready, Severus grabbed her cloak for her, and they headed back home through the floo network.

The day that followed had been a tense affair, and despite their best efforts to make the day of their anniversary, and Hannah's Birthday enjoyable, an ominous cloud of foreboding seemed to be dawning on Severus. Hannah had seemed equally uneasy all day and as night approached he finally dared break the silence over the feeling he suspected they both felt.

"Are you _alright_ , Hannah? You've not been yourself today."

"Neither have you," she whispered with a sigh. "Is it just me, or do you have a bad feeling about tonight? Honestly, I don't know how much more of this I can take and I still have another eight weeks to go."

"I've been feeling the same. There's no point in worrying, if anything happens we're well prepared. I won't leave you alone, you'll have me with you just like normal, and you can rest well for a few days now you don't have to go to work. I'm not going to judge you for a few days in bed."

"Yeah, I know. We should head down, I can feel it's almost time."

Despite Hannah's now decidedly feeble protestations, Severus refused to leave the room as she underwent her monthly metamorphoses. While he secretly knew that he was far too trusting of her in her wild form, he was never going to admit that to her. As far as she knew, he would still be as wary as he was the first time he'd entered the room with her several months ago. Everything seemed to go smoothly, and the wolf disgruntledly paced the room for a few minutes before lying on a pile of blankets they'd brought down with them.

Poor Hannah was obviously very uncomfortable, but there was little he could do for her, and he sat near her, no longer amazed that she paid him no heed. For whatever reason though, she did not sleep this time and spent several hours simply lying there looking miserable and grumpy for almost the entire night. About an hour before she was due to return to her usual human self, however, Severus noticed that she began to grow ever more agitated and irritated. Eventually, she got up and started to agitatedly wander around the room, occasionally letting out a small whimper. When she finally returned to being his beautiful human wife, his relief was almost palpable, and yet it was destined to be short-lived.

Lying on the floor and breathing heavily, she covered herself with a fleecy blanket and spoke in a deceptively slow and calm voice as she grabbed his arm uncomfortably tightly.

"Severus, I need you to stay calm, and I need you to get me some clothes." Rooted in place in shock, he watched her cringe in pain as his mind began to race. Surely this couldn't be happening _now_ , when she was clearly already so exhausted, he thought as he began to panic. Their feelings of foreboding had obviously hit the proverbial nail on the head. " _Now_ , Sev. I think we need to go _now_." She was still speaking calmly, but her voice was strained. Not daring to test her patience, he hurriedly accio'd her clothes and helped her dress as calmly as he could, given the circumstances.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" He asked as he helped her head towards the floo. The foolish question earned him a glare as impressive as his own could be.

"Sometimes, Severus, you can be a real dick! No, I'm not in any pain…" She replied sarcastically as she grabbed some floo powder and saved him the trouble of having to say "Saint Mungo's."

Their arrival seemed to instantly provoke a sense of excitement and panic in the maternity ward as the nurses realised they were dealing with _Hannah Potter_. Too many excited nurses seemed to be buzzing around the place whispering to each other, and it did little to put his mind at ease. He got the impression that she received more than a little more attention than a normal non-saviour of wizardkind would receive, but he was grateful that they were so attentive all things considered.

As several agonising hours went by with him trying to comfort Hannah as she grew more and more pained and tired, he'd never felt so utterly useless in all his life. Though she had snapped at him earlier, she seemed to appreciate his comforting words and touches. When the time came, there was literally nothing he could do except hold her hand and offer encouraging words as she did the real work of delivering their child. Exhausted and teary, when the child was finally born, they barely caught a glimpse of her before she was swiftly taken away to the side by two worried looking midwives, who explained little. A new feeling of intense indecisiveness washed over Severus, as he desired to stay with Hannah, but also follow his new, tiny daughter. Hannah made up his mind for him as renewed tears appeared.

"Where…where did they take her? Why isn't she crying?" She asked as he brushed her messy hair from her face and kissed her forehead. One of the midwives came over looking tense and as if she was waiting for something.

"You'll be reunited in a minute dear, baby's just a little early and sometimes…" Before the midwife could finish her sentence, a loud, penetrating cry filled the room, and Severus doubted he'd ever get used to the sound. "There, you see, she just needed a little help to get her breathing going," she said smiling, clearly feeling relieved as the other nurse brought over the tiny bundle and passed the baby to Hannah who now seemed to be beyond any words and simply continued to cry as she held the child for the first time. Looking down at the tiny scrunched up face with a mop of light hair and dark eyes, Severus couldn't help but allow a few silent tears fall, and despite her exhaustion, Hannah smiled brightly at him.

"I knew you'd cry. She takes after you. Brown eyes. Actually, I think they're almost black you can't even tell where her pupils are!"

"I'm so proud of you. Look at her, she's perfect. I knew she was a girl all along!" He said, not even feeling ashamed for his emotional outburst in public. " _Pandora Pricilla Potter._ " He teased, earning a giggle from Hannah and a look from one of the midwives that clearly said _dear god, please no_.

"I've been thinking, what do you think of Ruby? Ruby Potter? As a homage to Hagrid who brought me into this world of magic. She's the real magic though isn't she?" Severus couldn't do anything in reply but smile contentedly as he enjoyed his first few moments as a family of three, feeling eternally grateful that Hannah seemed to be alright.

Several hours later, Hannah had been left to finally get some rest, with their new addition sleeping soundly in the small cot next to the bed. Severus had been dozing in a chair in the corner for an hour or so when he was awoken with the sound of a baby's cry. Hurrying over hoping to tend to her before Hannah woke up, he picked up the child and cradled her soothing her with his voice.

"Now, now," he whispered. "Your mother needs to rest for a while, it was very hard work getting you here, and she was really very tired to begin with." As she grabbed his finger tightly, Severus grinned like an idiot as he stared into her big brown eyes and sat down, wondering how much more difficult his life was going to be now that he had another person to love, but not feeling even a hint of regret at the prospect of having someone else to worry about. He looked over at his exhausted wife still sleeping soundly, and his mind wandered to the life they had already lived before imagining what their life might become, now that they had another member of their family.

"Your mother is a very special person, Ruby…let me tell you a story…trust me, it's a good one. It has witches and wizards, dark lords, dragons, battles, magic, miracles, true love, betrayal, loyalty, werewolves…and don't tell your mother I said this, but most importantly of all, it has _potions_. Oh, trust me…it's a good one, and you're going to love every second of it."


	24. Epilogue : Too Much Is Never Enough

Epilogue

Too much is never enough

Early October 2009

Now used to feeling almost permanently stiff and achy, Hannah groggily climbed out of bed. Ruby was crying _again_. It seemed like there would be no end to it, and she was completely exhausted. The sound naturally pierced her heart every time she heard it, and yet she didn't know how much more she could take. She'd even rather despicably considered adding a small dose of dreamless sleep to Ruby's bottle.

The full moon had only been two days ago, and though Severus had blessedly been able to stay off work to care for Ruby for the day of the full moon and the day that followed, Hannah hadn't felt truly awake since giving birth eleven very long weeks ago. Being a mother was hard and tiring enough, and despite Severus' best efforts, she hadn't managed to sleep for more than a few hours for nearly two months. The regrettable fact that she had gone into labour immediately after a werewolf transformation had taken its toll, and poor Severus had practically been left as a single father for the first few days of Ruby's life. Hannah's body had been so exhausted that she'd been made to stay in hospital for several days after the birth, and in truth, she still didn't feel like she'd had the chance to recover.

Wearily picking up her still tiny, beautiful daughter, she cradled her in an attempt to stop the crying. She couldn't find any reason for the child's distress, and yet Ruby continued to scream for what seemed like forever and a day. Feeling like she just couldn't cope anymore, and not having managed to make any kind of recovery after another full moon had finally taken its toll on her, and so, perhaps following suit after Ruby, Hannah ended up crying along with her for what seemed like an eternity, still cradling her in her arms and pacing around the room.

Glancing at the clock, she realised Severus would be home any second. Since term had recommenced a few weeks ago, her very reluctant husband had returned to work under Hannah's strict reassurances that she would be fine. Obviously, her reassurances were somewhat of a lie, and she doubted that he hadn't seen through her. He always returned for an hour or so at lunchtime and often came back when he had a free period in his timetable to give Hannah a short respite if she needed it. Taking several deep breaths in a poor attempt to calm herself, she tried to stop crying for when Severus returned but failed.

The whooshing sound of the floo announced his presence long before she'd ever have any hope of pulling herself together, and she knew she must have puffy red tear-stained cheeks to go along with the now deep, seemingly permanent circles under her eyes. As he stepped out of the fireplace, he marched right over to her looking too concerned for her liking.

"It's alright, pass her to me," he said softly, gently taking the child into his arms. "Go and sit down." Infuriatingly, something about his voice always seemed to soothe Ruby more than Hannah's, and she stopped her incessant crying. It was a torment twinned with delight, as Hannah couldn't help but feel extremely irritated that the crying stopped so promptly after his arrival. She slumped down at the dining table, absolutely exhausted. She could feel him watching her intently, but she didn't have the energy even to look up or thank him for coming to the rescue. "This cannot continue," he stated.

"I'll be okay, Sev. If you can look after her for most of the weekend, then I can get a good rest. I'll be back to normal by Monday."

"Considering I've just employed my replacement, by Monday, you'll be having to put up with _me_ all day too." She did look at him now, and she felt her temper rising as she glared angrily at him.

"What are you saying? I'm such a bad mother that you've had to quit your job? I can do this! I'm quite capable of managing!"

"You're not a bad mother, you're just a ridiculously tired one, which is unsurprising, given the circumstances. I _know_ you're capable, I've _never_ doubted it. You're capable of doing _anything_. That doesn't mean you should have to. We know this is the only child we're likely to have, and there's no reason for you to struggle on your own when the only place I want to be is _here_. I've been saying I'm going to quit every summer for ten years, and now I have a valid excuse. Thirty years of teaching is more than enough, and I can assure you that just having to deal with one child is a blessing in disguise."

She stared at him as he made a pot of tea with one hand, not knowing what to think. Eventually, a deep sense of relief began to wash over her as she contemplated how much easier everything would be if she'd just accept that he wanted to be home with her and Ruby. Besides, they hadn't really needed to be earning a wage ten years ago, so they certainly had more than enough to keep them going until Ruby started school. She thought back to Severus' previous assessment of her likely unwillingness to leave Ruby so soon to go back to work, and he'd been right. Apart from everything else, she had a feeling juggling childcare with werewolf transformations would be bad enough until Ruby had reached four or five, never mind having to try and keep up with work too. She supposed that if Severus was willing to retire, at least for the time being, she'd probably be able to return to work part-time much earlier than she would have wanted to otherwise. After all, she had made a lot of progress with influencing creature rights, but she still had a lot of work to do. There were certainly some changes that she and Hermione had been working on for years, but if she was going to convince the entire Ministry, she was going to have to become the head of her department.

Despite her exhaustion, her mind was racing, and she thankfully poured them both a cup of tea from the pot Severus had made and sipped at it appreciatively. She felt her heart swell at the fact that her overly intelligent partner had likely been contemplating everything over the past few months, and something told her he'd still do anything for her, despite her currently grumpy, overtired self.

"What did Minerva say?" She asked. He groaned as he sat by her, having put a now _finally_ sleeping Ruby to bed.

"She said she was going to miss me storming around the place, but that she understands, and that she was surprised I didn't leave the year I married you."

"Why didn't you tell me? If you've just picked your replacement, then you must have known for a while?"

"I've only known for about two weeks, and I was afraid you'd go on a rant." He said honestly, and she sighed and took his hand apologetically. "You wouldn't believe it, but people seem to be lining up for the dark arts job these days. I suppose it's time I let someone who actually likes teaching have a go, after all, Hogwarts is the only magical school in Britain." She sipped more of her tea, and the more she drank, the calmer and sleepier she felt. She turned towards him and saw that he looked very tired too, and she felt guilty that he had been worrying about her _and_ Ruby. She'd been neglecting him for the past few weeks, and yet it seemed he was always thinking of her.

"Thanks, Sev. I know I've been a right old emotional grouch lately. I'm just so tired, I don't think I properly recovered from the last full moon, never mind the one two days ago."

"I know you are, and I love you too," he said smiling softly, seeming to appreciate the fact that she wasn't going to argue about his temporary retirement. "Drink the rest of your tea," he said, as he watched her with wary eyes. Too tired to realise what he had done, she downed the remaining cup in one and almost immediately felt unable to resist the call of a deep slumber.

SP

Seeing how terrible Hannah looked when he returned home only reassured Severus that he had made the right choice. He even felt intensely guilty for not making the obvious decision in advance. Hannah simply wasn't getting the rest she needed to recover properly, and truth be told, these days he'd much rather be at home with her and Ruby than teaching other people's brats how to immobilise pixies. Besides, despite his occasional mocking of her job, he knew she had already succeeded in making some important changes, and that she had a lot more planned. He wanted to make it easier for her to continue her important work as soon as she wanted to, whether that be next year, or in ten.

"You're…can't believe…bastard…" She managed to mumble, as she collapsed in her chair at the table. Deciding that enough was enough, he'd doused her tea with his strongest batch of dreamless sleep, and he knew she'd be out for at least ten hours. Ruby's loudest shrieks wouldn't be able to wake her, and he hoped that by the time Hannah woke up, her body would finally feel rested. She was going to be angry with him, but it would be worth it. Besides, she'd forced potions on him before when he was sick, and he saw no difference.

Gently manipulating her limbs and lifting her up, Severus slowly carried her upstairs and put her to bed. He made her more comfortable by dressing her in her pyjamas, and he imagined the 'somethings never change,' comment he knew she'd be throwing at him if she was awake. She'd probably be irritated that he'd seen her body so soon, and she was clearly feeling a little insecure about the changes having a baby had made, but _he_ didn't care. She would always be beautiful to him. After covering her with the duvet, he tiredly sat on the bed and took her hand in his, kissing it and then just holding it comfortingly. For the first time in months, Hannah truly looked peaceful. There was nothing he wanted more than to climb in with her and sleep for as long he'd made sure she was going to. Just as he'd decided that a couple of hours of sleep won't hurt, he heard Ruby's demanding, penetrating cry once more, and he suspected he was in for a rough night.

HP

Waking with a completely clear mind for the first time in months, Hannah stretched out her limbs and welcomed the fact that she had awoken to silence for the first time in forever. Remembering that Severus had tricked her into drinking dreamless sleep would have angered her, but at finally feeling rested she couldn't quite muster the malevolence to be angry. Quickly dressing, she headed downstairs. As she entered the living room, a truly heart-warming scene was before her. Severus was lying back in the armchair resting, with Ruby curled up peacefully on his chest. Despite his earlier fears, Severus was already a doting father, and she had a very strong suspicion that Ruby was going to be a daddy's girl.

"Before you shout at me for falling asleep with her in a dangerous position, I'm not sleeping, I'm merely resting." He muttered, at hearing her open the door. "I suspect you're angry at me." He said warily. Approaching him, she leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Is that a no?" He said, tiredly peering at her with on eye.

"No, I'm not angry with you. Have _you_ had any sleep?"

"About three hours when she was in her basket."

"Do you have any idea how adorable you look right now? I'm going to make you some breakfast, and then you're going to get some well-earned rest, _Professor_." He snorted.

"You really have no excuse to keep calling me that, you know. I'm not a Professor anymore." Smiling, she headed into the kitchen to make a simple breakfast, deciding on fried eggs and toast. Severus usually cooked with magic, but she always much preferred the old fashioned way of cooking, as it gave her time to appreciate the smells and work up an appetite. She saw Edgar sat patiently at the window waiting to be let in, and she felt guilty for neglecting him. She opened the window, and as he eyed her irritatedly, she decided to add some bacon to her sizzling eggs in the frying pan.

"Sorry, Edgar," she said stroking his feathers. Practically ignoring her, he flew over to Severus and sat on the arm of the armchair, fluffing his feathers. Watching him tilt his head as he surveyed Ruby, she smiled as Ruby seemed to be watching the bird with just as much interest as he was showing her.

Returning to Severus and Ruby with some breakfast and a pot of freshly made tea that she placed on the coffee table, she gently pried Ruby from him and settled her in her basket, thanking whoever was listening that she didn't resume crying.

"Thanks," Severus said as he picked up his food. She poured the tea and shook her head amusedly.

"I think I should be thanking you, not the other way around. I really do feel much better. Perhaps we can take turns, it's certainly one way of getting sleep," she chuckled. He sniffed his tea suspiciously, and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Don't worry, I'd never be able to drag you up the stairs, I'm puny compared to you." She smirked cheekily, knowing full well she could just use magic.

"I believe that's just the way you like it, if I were as short as you, I wouldn't be able to pick you up so easily. Think of all the fun we would have missed out on!" She smiled widely at him, knowing full well how bright her eyes must be. Taking in his now ridiculously tired, and yet still beautiful features despite his thick stubble, she was once again eternally grateful that fate had brought them together. She couldn't imagine her life turning out any other way.

"I wouldn't have you any other way, Sev." she said gently.

November 2009

Just having put Ruby to sleep after his turn to feed her, Severus got into bed next to Hannah. He lay staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, and to say that he was feeling _frustrated_ was an understatement. It had been _months_. Hannah hadn't let him touch her since before the baby was born, despite the midwife assuring them that normal activities could resume after about six weeks. Ruby had been born a good fifteen weeks ago, and towards the end of Hannah's pregnancy, she hadn't exactly been too interested in lovemaking either. And so, Severus felt like an eternity had passed since he'd last made love to her, and he wondered how she was feeling. He understood that she'd been exceptionally tired and emotional, but things had been much more manageable since he'd been at home, and she'd recovered remarkably well after the last full moon. He knew she'd started taking Silphium as soon as she could, but as of yet, every advance he'd made had been rejected, and something was telling him that it wasn't exactly because she didn't want to.

Looking over to her, she was on her side facing away from him, but her breathing and occasional movements told him she wasn't asleep yet. To make matters worse for him, she'd worn a ridiculously enticing silky, short nightdress to bed. Deciding to try his luck, he turned and caressed her thigh as he kissed the back of her neck, allowing his hand to sensually wander up her torso. She grabbed his hand tightly and turned to look at him with tired eyes. He kissed her deeply not wanting anything more than to roll on top of her, or watch her climb on top of him…or even if she'd just let him…well, he had to admit that at this point he really didn't care. He just needed her, and self-medication could only take him so far when he had to sleep next to the love of his life every night.

"We'll wake up Ruby," she whispered. "No matter how hard I try, I'm bound to make noise," she said wryly with a small smile. Her comment only made things worse, and he groaned at remembering how true that statement could be.

"That my love, is what silencing charms were invented for." Ignoring him, she turned back away from him and snuggled deeper into the blankets in a clear, sleepy rejection.

"You're not going to tell me no again?" he asked, practically begging.

"Well, someone's lost the ability to read minds." She said sarcastically, still refusing to look at him. Groaning, he wasn't quite ready to give up, and he returned to kissing her shoulder as he seductively caressed her upper thigh under her nightdress.

"Hannah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm tired, and I'm not really feeling very sexy at the moment, Severus." He frowned at the use of his full name instead of 'Sev,' knowing that she tended to use it when she was in a mood with him.

"Well, I can't imagine _why_ , you look utterly irresistible to me. Did you really have to taunt me with that overly enticing dress if you don't want to…" She did turn then, and she narrowed her eyes at him looking irritated.

"Do you have any idea how much laundry I have to deal with? This was the only thing I had left that was clean." Since they'd been sharing the chores, he hadn't been doing the _laundry_ , but he had definitely been pulling his weight in other areas, and he thought the comment was decidedly unfair. Deciding that it was probably best to hold his tongue, and knowing a lost cause when he saw one, he sighed and rolled back onto his back despondently. He returned to staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, plotting, before turning away from her and willing himself to fall into an admittedly much needed deep sleep.

Getting up way before her, he swallowed his pride and made sure that Ruby was tended to early, and that every single item of laundry in the house was clean and put away before she had even woken up. In the process, he decided that without magic to aid him, he'd have been there for days, and he thanked his lucky stars that they were not muggle parents. When she woke up after a longer than normal sleep and noticed her beautiful, clean pile of freshly laundered clothes, she thanked him and kissed him as a reward.

After a few days of careful consideration, Severus Potter had a plan. Every Wednesday, without fail, Hannah would visit the muggle shop to restock on the food and baby products she preferred that weren't available in Diagon Alley. It usually took her about an hour, and while that was pushing it for time, he thought his plan was probably just about manageable. He'd already asked her infernal, although admittedly blessedly amenable friends and they'd happily agreed. Hannah had been correct last year. All that time babysitting Rose was going to pay off. All he had to do was hope that Hannah wouldn't attempt to take Ruby with her. Normally, she left her at home with him, and he hoped that he wouldn't have to convince her to leave her behind.

Predictably, on Wednesday afternoon, Hannah announced her plans to get her shopping over and done with. The second she was out of the door, Severus quickly waved his wand as he held Ruby, quickly packing a bag with everything she would need for the night. He then looked around the living room in despair. Perhaps they were far too used to just cleaning everything in seconds with magic, he thought, because the entire house was in an embarrassing state. Items magically zooming around with a baby in the room wasn't exactly safe, and truth be told there had been far more important things to do than clean and tidy the house. Shaking his head, he stepped into the fireplace, grabbed a handful of floo powder, and voluntarily headed to the last place he'd ever visit on his own. Ron and Hermione's home.

HP

Inconspicuously casting a feather light charm on her bags, Hannah decided to walk home through the village, enjoying getting out and about. It was a bit chilly, and it was starting to get dark, but Hannah appreciated the opportunity to stretch her legs and get some fresh air. She didn't know why, but something about Severus' uncharacteristically clumsy attempts at seduction had irritated her, and she found herself reminiscing about how things had been early in their relationship. Perhaps that was just what happened when you had kids, she wondered. They hadn't exactly had a lot of time for romance lately, and her poor Severus was obviously _suffering_. That didn't mean she was going to hand it to him on a plate, however. After all, she had just had a baby, and while she knew he'd always love her, she wasn't exactly feeling particularly desirable right now.

As she walked through the garden and headed towards the door, something seemed off. The light coming from the windows didn't seem quite right, and as she opened the door and walked in she could see why. As she took in the floating candles, the glowing fire, the music that had started as she opened the door, and the far too heavenly smell coming from the kitchen, she decided that someone must be impersonating her husband. For the first time in a while, the house seemed to be perfectly in order too – too perfectly. Everything was neatly organised and _perfectly_ clean. He'd obviously used some pretty strong magic to get everything back in order after their weeks of neglecting it. Jumping as he came around the corner, Hannah caught his far too bright eyes as he smiled at her, likely amused at the shocked expression that was no doubt gracing her face.

"Don't look so shocked!"

"Who _are_ you, and what have you done with Severus? My Severus is not… _domestic_ …" She said comically as he waved his wand causing all of her shopping to pack itself away. Unable to help herself, she started to panic a little. "Where's Ruby?"

"Don't worry, she's with Ron and Hermione. They agreed to look after her until tomorrow afternoon to give us some time to recuperate. You really don't need to worry, they're a dab hand – they're Weasley's after all. I'm purely at your disposable until then, my love." She looked around the house taking in the ridiculous amount of work he had achieved in just over an hour, and she knew there was a catch. She decided he really must be desperate for it, and she couldn't help but chuckle as she walked towards him, and further into the pleasing warmth of the living room.

"What's the catch? You're not usually the type for overly romantic displays."

"There is no catch, I thought we could do with just a little bit of time to reconnect and be just us. Hannah and Severus. Good food, good music, good company, and sleeping until past mid-day. Sounds like a blessed relief doesn't it?" It did sound like a blessed relief, though she suspected she knew exactly what he wanted to do before sleeping.

"You're just doing this to get into my knickers." She stated, surveying his reaction carefully.

" _No_. I thought I was, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I wanted to give you some much needed time focused just on you. What will be, will be. I know you've had a lot on your mind. What is it the muggles call it when couples just stay home and appreciate being alone together?" Feeling touched at the amount of effort he had gone too, and looking forward to eating whatever was causing the pleasant aroma she recognised but couldn't quite place coming from the kitchen, she wrapped her arms around his neck initiating a slow dance, smiling amusedly at his question.

"They call it a date-night. That's very thoughtful of you. Whatever you're cooking smells amazing!"

"Hmm, I'm afraid to say it's not chicken nuggets, but it is something I suspect you have missed. Always with the dancing to music that is not for dancing," he chuckled as he held her waist tenderly.

"Hey, I can dance to whatever I like, and _this_ music…you're playing the Bruch again…I love this piece it's very…" She trailed off, unable to adequately describe it.

"Passionate. Hmm…if I remember correctly, it was the first piece of music you ever listened to with me." She smiled widely at the memory, remembering how nervous she was at being caught snooping in his study.

"Yeah, after you had _poisoned_ me, and put me to bed," she chuckled. "You were plotting advancing on me even then, I bet!" He chuckled again, and his eyes brightened.

"Yes, I probably was, _subconsciously_."

"Well, I wasn't. Not subconsciously. The second I knew for sure how you felt, I ran straight to you. I was plotting as soon as I could."

"And I'm eternally grateful you did, my love." He was watching her with bright, happy eyes, and he seemed to be more relaxed and content than he had been in weeks. Before Ruby had been born, he'd been in a near constant state of worry, and she knew he'd had about as much rest as she'd had over the past few months. She caressed his cheek gently and slowly reached up, before kissing him passionately for much longer than she had intended. While they were almost always fairly intimate with each other at home, it felt as if it had been too long since they'd had the chance to show each other any deep affection, and her heart swelled in a familiar way at their tenderness. As she pulled back, she grabbed the cloak he was wearing _indoors_ , unfastened it, and threw it discontentedly onto the armchair. She returned to embracing him, and they continued to sway to the music.

"That's better," she said, much preferring the feel of him without the cumbersome garment getting in the way. "I have no idea why you always insist on hiding your figure, even after all this time."

"Well, it does come in handy when I want to wrap it around you. Besides, you have to leave _something_ to the imagination."

"That's true. But I do so love to see your naturally enticing frame. How would you feel if I always hid my figure from you?" She rested her head against him, and somehow the moment seemed like the most loving and comforting thing in the world.

"Either less frustrated…or more frustrated…I'm undecided," he said with a shake of his head.

As the first movement of the music came to an end, Hannah decided to take a trip down memory lane. Waving her hand, and watching in satisfaction as the record changed to another piece she knew well. Severus tutted and lifted his eyebrow at her as their favourite tune from the opera they had gone to the night they became lovers started.

"Mozart, the wizard, is it?" He chuckled. "You seem to be doing more magic without your wand these days than with it," he complained.

"What, are you jealous?" She asked, remembering all of the just for fun duels they had competitively fought over the years. It had taken a long time, but eventually, they had become fairly evenly matched, and Hannah won almost as often as she lost. Though she had to admit, he always apologised _profusely_ whenever he bested her. Considering his extra twenty years of experience, she thought that was pretty good odds.

"No," he said somewhat disgruntledly, and she smiled up at him in amusement. "We should go and see this again one day."

"Definitely. We can remove our memories too." She teased. He held her tighter at her words and hummed seductively against her neck.

"Is that a promise, Mrs Potter?"

"Maybe. It feels like a lifetime ago doesn't it?" He remained quiet for a few moments, and she closed her eyes as she leaned her head against him again.

"Not for me," he eventually whispered. "It feels like the steady march of time marches too quickly sometimes. Because, when it comes to you, too much is never enough." She looked up at him sharply and held his gaze for a long moment, feeling utterly lost for words. They had stopped moving to the music, and after a long moment he leaned in and kissed her. Beginning to feel desperate to finally get reacquainted with the rest of his body, she ran her fingers under his shirt, but before she could get too carried away, he chucked and withdrew from her.

"Oh, no you don't. I'm not letting all of this good food go to waste. You might complain about my _fancy_ _Italian_ _food_ , but I require wining and dining, my love." As he took her hand and led her towards the admittedly wonderful smell coming from the kitchen, she briefly wondered if he was giving her a taste of her own medicine. After all, he'd clearly put a stasis spell on their food. Entering the kitchen caused her to burst into happy laughter at the _fancy_ _Italian_ _food_ he had prepared for her. Or at least got someone else to prepare. Several takeaway pizza boxes were on the kitchen table, kept piping hot with a stasis spell.

"You know me far too well, Sev. I can't imagine how you got hold of such atrocious muggle food all the way out here!"

"Hermione took care of it for me. I just brought it back with me after dropping Ruby off. I did order another, as I was unsure on the toppings, but the Weasley boy declared that we did not need four, and promptly devoured one to himself." Hannah giggled, knowing that Ron was never going to change, and she was glad that Severus didn't share his appetite. After all, she loved his figure the way it was, and Ron had become slightly portly over years of overeating. He poured them both a glass of wine, and Hannah sipped at it gladly, enjoying her first drink since she realised she was pregnant about a year ago.

"Well, I'm not going to complain about _this_ fancy Italian food!" She said happily. Good food, good music and good company, Hannah thought as she happily enjoyed her first relaxed meal with him since Ruby had been born.

Once they had finished, they headed to the sofa in front of the fire with their wine and just talked as they listened to music for a long while, appreciating not having to do anything and enjoying being alone together. Eventually, no longer able to resist him, despite any mild insecurities she'd felt about having a baby, she put down her glass and kissed him. She pushed him back as she ran her hands all over him enticingly and lay on top of him.

"You're not going to tell me 'no,' are you?" She asked cheekily. He sat up and pulled her legs around his waist before kissing her thoroughly as his hands wandered lovingly over her skin under her muggle top.

"Perhaps," he hummed unconvincingly. "If you're going to expect us to make it to the bedroom…" he said as he removed her top and kissed her chest. "Then I _will_ have to tell you 'no.' I'm quite happy to satisfy your every desire _here_ , by the glow of the fire." She couldn't agree more, and she returned to furiously kissing him, intending to fully reacquaint herself with him from where they had left off several achingly long months ago.

September 2013

Packing away their potion supplies, Hannah felt as if she could have a nervous breakdown at any moment. Despite their every effort, they had run out of wolfsbane last month, and it would be another month before their newly planted batch would produce viable flowers.

Ruby was fairly used to Hannah's wolf form, having seen her when she refused to sleep. On several occasions, she had even snuck into bed with them during the full moon. They'd decided not to keep Hannah's monthly _problem_ away from her early on, but Hannah always felt wary whenever Ruby saw her as a wolf. On several occasions, she'd had to keep extremely still as the child had infuriatingly decided to grab at her mouth. Accidentally giving Ruby her curse was something she feared above anything else, and even Severus seemed to anxiously hold his breath at times, despite completely trusting her. Ruby had always been completely unafraid of her, and would often pet her monthly _friend_. She would even ask where 'my wolf' was from time to time, as being only four years old, she was still far too young to understand everything.

Looking at the single remaining useable flower that was pointless on its own, Hannah folded her arms as she prepared herself for the fact that she'd be banished to the basement for the next two full moons. The first one being tonight. She heard Severus open the door, but she didn't turn to look at him, she was too anxious, and she knew her foolishness had rubbed off on him the last time they'd been in this predicament.

"Do not risk _anything_ this time, Severus. I mean it. It's not going to be like when I was pregnant. Think of what it will mean for Ruby if anything happens. I'm going to have to get her a large dog or something that could help defend her if…I mean…you never know…" She felt Severus wrap her arms around her tightly from behind comfortingly, and she leaned back into him trying to stay calm.

"Everything is going to be fine, stop worrying," he whispered, likely as much to himself as to her.

"I'm going to cast a silencing charm, and you're not going to cancel it. Ruby's not afraid of me, and I don't want her to be. If she hears it like that…"

"Alright."

"Don't open the door either. When I…wake up, I'll call to you. I might need help healing myself, but you _know_ that it will only be for minor things. I. Will. Be. Fine. You can come promptly to my rescue when the sun rises and not before."

" _Alright_ ," he repeated sounding mildly irritated. "I understand."

"Trust this to happen just as Ruby starts school. At least the full moon isn't on her first day. I'm going to miss her being home, I guess it's time to get back to work…"

"Are you completely sure you're prepared for her to attend a muggle school? We might have to do some obliviating, especially when she makes friends. When she has a tantrum…don't forget that time she decided she didn't want to eat her peas and they vaporised. Not an easy thing to explain to muggles..." Hannah laughed fondly at the memory and turned to face him, leaning against the workbench.

"All of the muggle-borns cope, and that was one time! Trust me, she'll enjoy the chance to make friends, and she'll be able to integrate much more successfully than an awful lot of our lot manage to. I think everyone's kids should have to go, it's good for them, and it'll be much less of a shock when she gets shipped away to Hogwarts at eleven."

"Alright, I can accept that. But that infernal muggle contraption is not safe. I certainly don't think you should be taking her to school in it. I've had the displeasure of being in it with you!"

"Hey! I got my license fair and square! Unlike Ron, I didn't even need to confound the examiner! The view's nice when you drive, and I don't think she's really old enough for side along apparition, do you? It's the easiest way to travel with her." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Going by broomstick has a nice view…" She laughed and shook her head.

"Yeah…a hundred feet up in the air sounds really safe," she laughed. "Stop worrying, I've put tons of spells on it for in case we crash."

"That's comforting…" He groaned.

"Well, I suspect we'll walk when the weather allows anyway. It's good to have a car, it helps us look normal, and we need to look normal now more than ever." She knew she'd won because he just sighed and folded his arms, though she knew that in reality, he was likely simply distracting her. "It's nearly time for you to go…I don't know why I'm nervous, you'd think I'd be used to it by now." She waved her wand, and the remaining artefacts in the room packed themselves away as the workbench moved against the wall out of the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around her comfortingly and rested his head on hers for a few moments, clearly feeling almost as apprehensive as she was. "Time to go, I'm afraid," she said, sensing the time was upon her.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said gently, before leaving and shutting the door. She quickly cast a silencing charm, and reluctantly yielded to the unforgiving power of the moon.

SP

Severus had distracted himself for the past two hours by doing something completely unexpected. He'd decided to sit in the muggle study with Ruby and watch one of the children's films on a disk that Hannah had thought Ruby would like. It had taken him a good half an hour to figure out which wire went where and how the remote control worked, but it certainly proved to be as good a distraction as any. While the naïve muggle portrayal of dragons was obviously completely wrong, Ruby certainly seemed to enjoy it, and she'd practically had her nose to the screen. Near the end, however, she had fallen asleep, and he turned everything off before putting her to bed.

Their house was full of books and music, and Hannah had filled the muggle study with all sorts of things he vowed never to interest himself with, and yet he found himself unable to distract himself from whatever she was doing to herself. Perhaps he should have given her a strong dose of valerian, he thought. Dreamless sleep was ineffective against werewolves, but he knew from experience that adding extra valerian to her normal potions knocked her out for the best part of a day. He sighed to himself, knowing that it was too late and that without the rest of the potion it would likely be as ineffective as anything else. Otherwise, people would have been using it for centuries. Waving his wand, the toys and children's books that Ruby had left out packed themselves away tidily and he was left sitting in the armchair with a small glass of fire whisky, wishing he'd kept his even stronger favourite tipple stocked. He listened to the clock ticking for what seemed like an eternity, and he decided that his morbid curiosity would eventually get him killed. He couldn't help but wonder if she remembered him in her savage state, after all, five years ago the wolf had been content to ignore him all night.

Downing the rest of his drink, he dared venture down the steps into the basement. Her silencing charm was still active, and he couldn't hear anything coming from the door. Taking a deep breath, he cancelled the silencing charm and at still hearing nothing, he proceeded to cancel the charm locking the door. As he hesitantly opened the door wide enough to just peek through the gap, he instantly regretted his decision. He heard her growl ridiculously aggressively, and she angrily bared her teeth as she ran towards the door with madness in her eyes, running right into it as he shakily snapped it shut and relocked it with his heart beating out of control. That would be a _no_ , he decided after once again ignoring every piece of knowledge he had obtained on werewolves. She obviously _did not_ recognise him, and he really needed to get his overly romantic Gryffindor side under control before he hurt himself. He recast the silencing charm to stop her waking up Ruby, and despite himself, he reluctantly headed to bed.

Heading down into the basement before the sun had risen, he sat patiently on the steps outside the door and waited until she cancelled the silencing charm and called him. Hoping that she wouldn't remember him opening the door, he cautiously entered the room. She was dressed in a comfy looking pair of pyjamas she had brought with her the following night, though she admittedly looked rather dishevelled. She yawned as he entered and then smiled a little.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"What's the damage?" He asked as he approached her and surveyed her.

"Not too bad this time, it was much worse when the thing was young," she said looking amused. He rolled his eyes and snorted.

"You haven't even reached the age I was when we…I think I'd rather not think about that," he said as he smiled at her amusedly. She lifted her top a little to show him a deep cut on her hip that looked sore and angry. He healed it quickly, apologising when she winced, before healing another few minor cuts on her arms and legs that she pointed out to him. He surveyed her looking for other injuries, but she seemed fine. "Any others?"

"No, have I ever told you I can feel your love when you heal me?" She asked as she shakily found her feet. "I thought it wouldn't be as intense as time went on, but it still feels the same."

"No, but I'm not surprised. Focusing on my regrettable affections for you is how I manage to heal you. Healing is not a natural talent of mine, traditionally, _sending_ people to the healer is what I'm good at."

"Well, I love you too!" She reached up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "All of that was a long time ago, Sev. Anyway, I bet it took a lot of effort not to take a peek."

"You have no idea," he wasn't going to tell her what he'd done if she didn't know, after all, his continued good health was in her interest. He wasn't going to let her walk back on shaky legs, and feeling spontaneous, he picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the basement, intending to take her to bed to sleep until mid-day. If Ruby allowed, he decided he'd join her.

"I can walk, you know," she said as she leaned her head in the crook of his neck.

"I know, but this is far more satisfying."

Several weeks later, Ruby had started school and Hannah had returned to work leaving Severus alone at home. In a past life, he probably would have spent his time brewing potions, inventing spells, and plotting his revenge against society, but his life as a Death Eater seemed long ago. If someone had told him that he would end up being a house-husband, he would have laughed in their face, and truth be told he didn't think it suited him _at all_. Deciding that he needed some people to exercise his will over before he became some kind of pathetic emasculated pushover, he wondered if he should visit Slughorn and ask him if he wanted to retire permanently. _After_ a few weeks of basking in the newfound solitude that he realised he'd been missing, he thought, for old time's sake, and for his sanity's sake.

By the beginning of October, he was decidedly bored, and after a quick visit to Hogwarts, he had his old position of Potions Master and Head of Slytherin back. Slughorn had looked at him as if he was heaven sent when he asked if he wanted to retire again, and he hoped that he wouldn't be regretting his decision any time soon.

When Hannah returned from work that day, his own news was completely outshined by the arrival of a tiny puppy. The beast was half Irish wolfhound and half gytrash, and she informed him that the creature would become attached only to one person. It would practically ignore everyone else, and he wondered why she had brought the thing home.

"A puppy!" Ruby shouted excitedly as she ran over and immediately hugged the infernal creature as it proceeded to lick her face, wagging its rear end along with its tail.

"Please tell me you're taking it back to work in the morning. Was it confiscated?"

"Nope. He's for Ruby. Rufus and Luna decided to breed them. I thought…Irish wolfhounds were bred to hunt wolves, and the gytrash will only become attached to one living thing right? If anything ever happens…you know…during my time of the month, the Ruby will always have him. They have remarkably good instincts, if he senses she's in danger…"

"He'll lead her away, or fight you. You know that will never be necessary…"

"I know, but for my peace of mind…" he shook his head in discontentment. He was glad he'd just gotten his job back because he really needed to start getting his own way again.

"Fine. But don't think I don't know you just couldn't resist a cute puppy when your colleague couldn't flog them off to anyone else!"

"Ruf! Ruf! Rufsss!" Ruby barked in imitation, and Severus couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Hmm…" Hannah hummed. "Something tells me you won't have to heart to take Rufus off her now anyway."

"Don't you dare name it! If you name it, you'll become attached!" Ruby giggled as the puppy ran about and fell over comically, and he knew he'd lost. They now had a dog, and his life seemed to be becoming more and more domestic by the day. Despite everything, he found he didn't mind.

Winter 2017

Severus sipped his morning coffee as he sat reading the newspaper, and stroking Edgar's feathers. He shook his head at the headline, not quite knowing what to make of his wife's progress at the Ministry. She had been made the head of her department only last year, and yet somehow she'd managed to successfully campaign to finally give goblins and house elves the right to bear wands. They'd been hearing rumours of a renewed interest in a goblin rebellion for a couple of years, and somehow, she'd managed to convince the Ministry to be remarkably progressive, using the threat of another war as leverage. Goblins being goblins, they were never going to thank her for it, and were definitely irritated at being given the right at the same time as their lowly house elf cousins, but never the less, it was an achievement nobody had ever foreseen. The infamous goblin rebellions of the past had nothing on Hannah Potter's indomitable will, apparently. Under the law, they were now equal to wizards, though it would probably take a few generations for society to truly catch up.

"How you've managed this I'll never know. It wasn't that long ago you took their dragons from them, I bet they _were_ surprised when you approached them with the Ministry's terms for their personhood." He said, turning towards her proudly. She seemed to have made it her life's mission to make wizarding society more equal, and he was always proud to call her his own.

"Hmm. This from a man that scoffed at the suggestion for years."

"Well, I take it back. I suspect they just wanted to interrupt your incessant, yet always utterly convincing monologue. Somehow, you _always_ get what you want. Those bloody werewolves have been attending Hogwarts for years now, and I hate every single one of those kids! Well, I'll get my revenge. It won't be long until the first of them qualify with their N.E. and they'll be just as miserable having to work a nine – five as the rest of us. All because you're Hannah Potter," he said sarcastically, earning him a snigger. At least she always used her name for progress, he thought. He dreaded to think what would have happened if she turned to the dark side.

"Not _always_. I'm still working on the house elves. I just can't get my head around the fact that so few of them want to be free from their enslavement."

"Well, they're slaves, but they're happy slaves. Most people in work aren't so lucky."

"If you don't like working, perhaps you shouldn't have come out of retirement, _Professor_. You secretly love teaching, I can tell. Your constant declarations of hating your students will no longer work on me. Ruby has secretly made you love children."

"Well, someone's going to have to keep her in line when she starts school! She's going to be as much of a troublemaker as you were, I can already see it, and she's only eight! She'll be in Gryffindor, I guarantee it."

"No…I'm betting on Slytherin. You know she's a daddy's girl. But, back to dragons, did you read the letter from Hagrid? He's coming back to Hogwarts as gamekeeper. Apparently, they're done with rehabilitating the last of the dragons from Gringotts. I'll never forget his face when I told him they would need an extra pair of hands. I think it might actually have been the best day of his life."

"Even better than the day he realised why Ruby bears a name so similar to Rubeus?"

"Well, there were tears both times, so who knows!" She chuckled as she sipped her tea.

"She's been spending an awful lot of time in her room lately. I can't imagine what she's doing in there. She normally spends most of her free time playing on some silly machine in that god awful muggle room you set up." Hannah rolled her eyes at him, and he knew he probably should take more of an interest in the muggle 'study,' but old habits die hard, and muggle artefacts had never held any interest to him. Though he had to admit, the few times Hannah had made him watch a muggle film with her and Ruby had been fairly enjoyable family time.

Irritatingly, Rufus' booming bark was coming from upstairs, and he hoped that Ruby would finally emerge to shut him up if nothing else. The infernal creature was so ridiculously attached to her that despite her still puny size compared to him, she was the only one that could really control him, though he had to reluctantly admit that obeying only her was the point in him being here. After several minutes of barking, Severus sighed, deciding to investigate what was causing the commotion.

"Good luck, rather you than me!" Hannah said amusedly, and he merely grunted in response. Finding the dog barking aggressively on the landing outside her room, he opened her door confusedly, wondering why she had shut Rufus out when he was almost always with her.

As he opened the door, his heart immediately began a frantic pace, and he immediately, but shakily raised his wand. An exceptionally large python was coiled up on Ruby's bed with its head upright and facing Ruby, who was sat on the floor looking far too blasé. Rufus' aggressive bark grew louder, and he stood by the bed, barking. The creature turned to face Severus and hissed aggressively, immediately poising itself to strike him, just as Nagini had done all those years ago.

"Vipera Evanesca!" He screamed, intending to annihilate the foul creature. Just as he spoke the words, Ruby screamed ' _no_ ,' and a bubble surrounded the snake he had intended to destroy, deflecting his curse dangerously to the side and smashing the window loudly. Stood in shock processing everything, he heard Ruby hiss in a too familiar way, and the massive snake slithered over to her, coiling itself around her so that its head was resting on her shoulder.

"Please don't kill her! She hasn't done anything wrong! She just wants a friend, she won't hurt anyone!" Severus closed his eyes irritatedly and pinched his nose at the fact that his daughter had apparently inherited the unlikely gift of parseltongue, _and_ at the fact that she had just performed some extremely strong accidental magic. Well, now he knew why she'd abandoned the muggle study, he thought. She'd made a _friend_.

At hearing the commotion, Hannah had run up the stairs and entered the room in a hurry. She seemed as gobsmacked as he was, and she stood in shock as she surveyed the scene.

"Hannah, perhaps you should mediate?" He said, breaking the silence. He watched in confusion as his wife hissed to the snake. Ruby's eyes seemed to light up at the knowledge that her mother could speak the same language, and they hissed away for several minutes until Hannah sighed. Eventually, Hannah looked up at him warily, and he already knew what was coming.

"I've said she can keep it," she said sympathetically.

"The bloody thing's just like Nagini! It's going to be massive!"

"Yes, but snakes are relatively simple creatures. It just wants warmth, food and company. It's still very young, and I'm sure it'll obey her – look at it, it's already obeying her."

"Young? Look at the size of it! Are you sure it's safe for her to keep that thing around? The thing could swallow her whole in her sleep!"

"Yes. It doesn't seem like a normal snake. Besides, I've warned it that the dog stays with her, and that she will promptly be eaten if she tries anything. At that, she replied that she'd never hurt her only friend." Severus looked over to his daughter who was apparently ignoring their conversation and giggling at something the snake had hissed to her. He knew he was going to have to get used to it, and he couldn't honestly say that he was pleased.

"Well, now you two have your own secret language, I'm sure you'll be having fun at my expense in no time…" he groaned. Hannah stared at him for a long time, and he saw her look at the silver scars on his neck that still haunted him.

"Severus, I know you have terrible memories of Nagini, but don't deprive her of this. Think about it – she can talk to an animal. I don't have the heart to deprive her." He folded his arms and shook his head.

"Neither do I. But, if she takes the thing to Hogwarts, she's definitely going to get a lot of stick for it. Especially being in Gryffindor."

"If you say so…but I reckon this _proves_ she's a Slytherin!" At their words, Ruby finally looked up.

"What if I want to be in Hufflepuff like Teddy? They have the best friends, _and_ they're by the kitchen!" Severus turned to Hannah sharply in dismay, remembering all of the cowering Hufflepuff's he'd taught over the years. Hannah sniggered happily and elbowed him in the ribs.

"The dreaded potions masters daughter a Hufflepuff! Shame on you, shame on your wolf, shame on your whole family!" She laughed tauntingly.

"Oh, I don't think so. She's far too devious and brave. She's a Gryffindor, just like her mother. You'll see. Our house is turning into a zoo," he complained. "A wolf, a dog, a bird and now a snake…I thought it was bad enough when you brought the dog home. I don't know why you thought he was necessary…you know nothing could ever happen!"

"I know," she said as she waved her wand, watching the window repair itself. "Ruby." She said authoritatively. "It doesn't stay in your room while you're sleeping yet, alright? Not until I completely trust her." Ruby looked like she was going to argue, and looked up at him expectantly.

"Don't look at me, I'm with your mother on this one. If it were up to me, that thing would be Rufus' dinner. Just be grateful you can keep her!"

August 2020

" _Dad_! You promised! If you don't get up, I'll set Nyami on you!" Groaning as he sleepily checked the time, Severus turned to look at Hannah discontentedly at hearing his daughter shout through the door.

"She's your daughter alright," he said sleepily. "It's seven in the morning, I expected to have to drag her out of bed. She can normally sleep for as long as _you_ can!" Hannah sleepily scooted closer to him and rested her head against his chest as she wrapped her arm around his waist. Yesterday had been their twenty-first wedding anniversary and Hannah's thirty-ninth Birthday. They had been up late _celebrating_ , and he was still tired.

"She's excited. Can you blame her? She's been watching us throw magic around her whole life. Plus, it's her _eleventh_ Birthday."

"She's going to give me just as much grief as you did, come September. She even looks just like you did, minus the green eyes and black hair." She pulled back from him a little and looked up at him with her eyebrow raised.

"Do you actually think it's possible for her to cause the trouble I did?"

"Good point." He said as he tenderly ran his fingers through her hair. It now had shiny streaks of grey in it that rivalled his own, but her eyes seemed to be perpetually youthful and seemed as mischievous as they always had been.

"I'm now officially older than you were when we first got together," she said with a cheeky smirk, and he rolled his eyes. "Am I getting too old for you, Sev? Are you going to trade me in for one of your seventh years?" He chuckled and kissed her.

"Hmm, I can barely keep up with you. You're still far too young in my opinion. You're not even middle-aged yet. And I was only thirty-seven when we got together."

"Nope. Your Birthday is in January, and you held out on me for weeks after Christmas!" He shook his head amusedly at the memory. She smiled happily, and he would have been perfectly content to stay in bed for another couple of hours, but he knew Ruby far too well. If he didn't get up soon, she really would set the bloody snake on him.

Sighing, he climbed out of bed and dressed quickly with Hannah reluctantly following suit. As he opened the door, Nyami was waiting for him looking angry. Her body now took up most of the landing, and she hissed aggressively at him, bearing her deadly fangs. He knew she was just following Ruby's orders, and he stared at her stoically. Pointing his wand at her, he decided to give the creature an etiquette lesson by shrinking it to the puny size of a common corn snake. On hearing the commotion, Ruby practically ran out of her door, with her long, messy red hair flying everywhere.

"Are you still going to take me to…" She took in the now tiny snake, pouted, and started to hiss. Nyami slithered over to her, and she picked her up.

"Well, that _is_ a much more manageable size," Hannah said, obviously trying not to snigger. "She's saying, 'my poor Nyami, what has he done to you,'" Hannah informed him, no longer able to contain a small chuckle.

"If you still want to take her to Hogwarts, then she's going to have to remain that size while she's in the castle. Minerva also insists that I cast a charm on her to stop her being able to bite." Ruby pulled a face at him and headed downstairs grumpily. He shook his head wondering where she learnt such bad manners before he remembered how much time she spent with the Weasley clan.

Once they had finished their breakfast, Severus handed Ruby a large Birthday present, and she opened it with her dark eyes twinkling in excitement.

"I know you prefer that electric monstrosity you call a musical instrument, but it won't work at Hogwarts. We thought you'd enjoy playing on this while you're away from home. Happy Birthday."

"Wow…this is so _cool_ , thanks!" She said, hugging him, and then examining the shiny new acoustic guitar. She proceeded to play a few admittedly far less disagreeable chords, now that the instrument wasn't screaming metallically out of an amp, and he realised how much better she sounded compared to the last time he dared be in the room when the guitar was out. As he watched his daughter mess around with the instrument, he realised how much he was going to miss her being around the house when she left for school, and he turned to look at his wife. She was probably thinking the same thing, though she wouldn't be lucky enough to see her in her potions lessons, and though he knew Ruby would be home for the holidays and the occasional weekend, it was going to be hard on Hannah when Ruby left for school.

As promised, several hours later they were in Ollivanders so that Ruby could find herself a fitting wand. She proved to be almost as tricky a customer as Severus remembered he was, but she was eventually chosen by an ornate looking cherry wand, and he folded his arms in annoyance when the over excited junior Mr Ollivander informed them that the core was a horned serpent horn. He had made it recently when experimenting with Japanese woods and American cores, and he was very excited for it to have chosen someone. The unusual wand could be commanded with parseltongue and would warn its user with a low musical tone if it sensed danger. He took in Ruby's excited expression, and knew that they were going to be in for _years_ of trouble now that their daughter had a wand.

When they returned home, he took Ruby to the basement to teach her some basic spells. While technically not really allowed, he knew the Ministry never troubled themselves with punishing children for practising spells in their own home. Generally, underage spellcraft was ignored, just so long as there were no muggles around, and he frowned slightly at remembering how the Ministry had treated Hannah for casting a lifesaving Patronus. While Severus had already taught his daughter quite a few potions, neither of them had taught her any spells yet, and they practised some easy spells for a couple of hours before she asked if she could help make her mother's potion that night. Usually, Ruby mostly just watched and prepared a few ingredients, but he knew his daughter would one day be able to rival his own potion making abilities, and the memory of Hermione complaining that Ruby had told her off for preparing a potion incorrectly when she'd babysat her a few months ago always brought a very willing smile to his face.

Before Hannah could interrupt them, Severus searched a cupboard and unfolded the old piece of parchment that Hannah had lent him to spy on students.

"When Hannah's not around, you can have a look at this. It will help you learn where everything is in the castle before you even arrive," he told her as he showed her how to make the Marauder's Map appear. Ruby was flabbergasted, and she excitedly analysed the parchment. "Don't tell your mother. As far as she knows, I've still got it."

"Thanks, dad."

"This way you'll know if I'm at the school too. _Try not to use it to make trouble_ ," he said in vain, already knowing he was making a critical mistake in giving it to her but doing so anyway.

"Do you think Hagrid will like it if I visit him, like mum used to?"

"I'm sure he will, you do bear his name, after all!"

She hugged him happily before running off into the study to wait for her muggle friend who'd promised to visit to play games on a muggle contraption on her Birthday. She was always carrying a 'phone,' in her pocket too, but he knew she never used it as such, and it amused him no end that she would have to overcome her over-reliance on it for the majority of the next seven years. She had already destroyed several of them from being in a room with magic going on or from getting emotional and losing control of her magic, and there was no way it would survive even two minutes of Hogwarts.

Despite her attendance at a muggle school, they'd managed to keep a low profile and had only needed to obliviate anyone once, when Ruby's best friend had been picked on by the school bully. She'd obviously childishly imagined the idiot boy being a rat, because that's exactly what she accidentally turned him into as she angrily screamed at him. Thankfully, Hannah and Severus had managed to alter the memories of everyone involved, and after a few words of caution to their already too powerful and emotional daughter, they'd managed to carry on as if the whole incident had never happened. Ruby hated the fact that she couldn't tell her school friends about her magical abilities, or explain why she wouldn't be going to a normal secondary school, but that was just how things had to be.

Over the following few days, Ruby slowly picked up some of the basic spells she would need in Hogwarts, and he reluctantly proceeded to teach her how to shrink and unshrink Nyami. She seemed to struggle with spells more than potions, but it was an essential skill if she was going to be allowed to keep the thing in school. It was probably far too early to tell, but he instinctively felt that Ruby would end up slightly better at potion-making than spellcraft. Once she had mastered it, she tortured everyone in the house by shrinking and unshrinking Nyami at will to try and scare people, and Severus once again asserted his belief that she would be a Gryffindor as Hannah snorted and claimed she'd be a Slytherin.

1st September 2020

As Hannah waved her wand and packed Ruby's trunk, she felt a wave of melancholy was over her. Her daughter was leaving for Hogwarts already, and it felt far too soon to be shipping her off away to boarding school. While Ruby was naturally totally excited with the prospect of learning so much magic, she could tell she was also starting to feel nervous. The trunk now packed and ready to go, Hannah turned to Ruby and gave her the most prized object in the house. Her invisibility cloak.

"Are you really going to give me this?" Ruby asked with happy and wide eyes.

"Yes, but don't tell your father," Ruby giggled happily as if laughing at an inside joke, and put the cloak on top of the other items in her trunk. "It's time it was passed on to you anyway, I never use it anymore. Make sure you cause your dad some mischief with it! You'll do me proud with it won't you?"

"Don't worry, I will!" Smiling, Hannah just stared at Ruby for a moment, trying not to get emotional. Eventually, she led her back downstairs to where Severus was waiting. They found him staring vacantly out of the window as he held the small pocket watch they would be using as a portkey.

"Why do I have to take the train? We live in _Scotland_. It's stupid that we have to go all the way to London, just to travel all the way back." Ruby complained as she nervously played with her hair.

"I know, but it's traditional, and you'll get to meet lots of people and make some friends on the way. Unfortunately, life is full of following stupid rules, so you better get used to it. Just be grateful we don't live in Hogsmeade. Hagrid will be there when you arrive and don't worry, Rose and Hugo will be on the train too. Have you got Nyami?"

"Yeah, I've got her," she said, pulling out the shrunken serpent out of the pocket of her robes.

"Time to go," Severus said as he walked over to them, and the three of them held on to the watch expectantly. Hannah held onto Ruby tightly as they were whisked off to a quiet alleyway a short walk away from King's Cross Station.

As they hurried through the barrier between platform nine and three quarters, they saw Ron and Hermione in the distance along with their two children. Hannah automatically headed towards them with a smile as Severus and Ruby followed behind. As they approached, she grinned amusedly at the Weasley children shrinking slightly from Severus, but still both bravely greeting him with a 'good morning, Severus,' instead of referring to him as their Professor outside of school.

"Why's everyone always staring at us?" Ruby asked timidly once everyone had greeted each other as she looked around suspiciously.

"It's me," Ron said straightening up and pretending to look important. " _I'm extremely famous_! Everyone wants a piece of me, don't they?" Ruby giggled, and Hannah smiled appreciatively at him. Ruby turned and looked at her and Severus, biting her lip nervously.

"What if I am in Hufflepuff? Does it matter what house I get put in?"

" _Of course it does_ ," Severus said sarcastically, "If you're in Hufflepuff you'll bring shame on the whole family! I have a reputation to maintain, you know!" Perhaps too used to his sense of humour, Ruby knew he was joking and hit him playfully.

"Oh, _dad_! Mum's right, you _are_ a git!" Severus narrowed his eyes at Hannah, and she pretended not to hear anything keeping her face neutral.

"Where did you get _that_ I wonder," he said as he surveyed her with a moody expression on his face.

"What if I don't make any friends? People might be frightened of Nyami, _and_ they'll be scared of _me_ because I'm _Professor_ Pott…Snape's daughter." Ruby asked looking pensive.

" _I'm_ not scared of you!" Hugo interrupted, "and I love Nyami, she's awesome! Think about all the pranks we could play on people with her!" As Ruby smiled mischievously, Hannah saw Severus narrow his eyes irritatedly at the comment.

"Don't be silly, you made lots of friends in primary school, didn't you?" Hannah said softly, trying to comfort her.

"Yeah, but now I've got to do it all over again."

"I'm afraid that's life, sweetheart. You can still see your old friends during the holidays. Trust me, Hogwarts is worth the effort."

"I'll miss Tristan," she complained. "If I send you letters, will you give them to him?" Hannah sighed, knowing Ruby had spent an awful lot of time with the muggle boy from the village and she looked at Severus uncertainly.

"As long as you keep to non-magical topics then, yes," he said disgruntledly. "But I still don't like the boy. He has no manners, and he's…" Hannah gave Severus her best glare to shut him up, and he merely stood with his brow furrowed and his arms crossed.

"I'm going to be your best student. I'll be much better at potions than mother was." Ruby said proudly to Severus with a too familiar wicked glint in her eyes.

"I wasn't _that_ bad…I got an 'O,' in the end…"

"Oh, you were a _terrible_ student," he complained with bright, happy eyes. "You only got an 'O,' because I gave you an _incentive_ to practise." Thankfully, Hannah didn't think Ruby completely understood what he'd said, but as she looked over at Hermione, she noticed a knowing look on her face as she pretended not to hear and Ron laughed unashamedly.

"Mum? Wasn't it a bit weird marrying your teacher?" Obviously, her gut reaction was to say 'no,' after knowing him so well and having such a wonderful life together so far, but she hesitated and sharply turned to Severus at the unexpected question.

"Um…"

"We're special," he stated. "If you and one of your Professors team up to defeat a Dark Lord, then, and only then, will I accept such behaviour from you. And even then only when you're over _thirty_." Hannah snickered as Ruby pulled a face.

"Gross. Why would I marry my teacher? I think I've just realised that you're _weird_. Weird _and_ famous…lucky me."

"That's right. We are," he chuckled. "Keep thinking like that."

Before long, the train was pulling up to the station, and Ruby was hugging her tightly as she prepared to board the train. Hannah couldn't help but hold on to her for a little longer than necessary, knowing that she probably wouldn't see her until Christmas, and she felt unjustifiably annoyed that Severus would see her three times a week in lessons. Straightening Ruby's tie, she finally allowed her to board the train. Ruby followed Rose and Hugo on board, and Hannah was glad that Ruby already knew a couple of people before she started. As Ruby disappeared from sight, she tightly grabbed Severus' hand as she tried to reel in her emotions. As the train began to pull away, they waved at Ruby as she appeared at the window to wave goodbye. Hannah caught Hermione's eye, and they smiled sympathetically at each other.

"Don't worry, Hannah. We'll keep ourselves busy! We'll visit as usual, and we still have lots of work to do!" Hermione said with a knowing look, having been through this several times already.

"She's going to give me hell," Severus eventually complained as the train disappeared from view. She stared at him for a long moment, feeling suspicious.

"Did you give her the Marauder's Map?" She asked with narrowed eyes. He didn't answer, and she knew that he had. Shaking her head, she began to laugh uncontrollably at the knowledge that she had given her the cloak too. He turned and looked at her with his eyes narrowed, and she knew that he knew too.

"Fuck," he groaned, uncharacteristically swearing. "You gave her the cloak…the entire staff is doomed," he said seriously as Hannah continued to laugh. "Let's just hope she doesn't get hold of a time-turner too…"

"What are the odds that she'll end up marrying her Professor?" Hannah asked cheekily. "I hear Professor Longbottom is still eligible!" Despite the fact that she was obviously joking, she saw Severus pale, and she smirked.

"I take it back. The muggle boy would be perfect for her…" She squeezed his hand comfortingly as she continued to stare at his face, not at all surprised that they were still happily married even after twenty-one years. She wondered if he'd be up for trying for another child, but quickly banished the idea, knowing how difficult it would be having to forgo the Wolfsbane and suspecting that it would be very unlikely that they would succeed anyway. At times, it seemed like Ruby was a miracle, and she didn't want to push he luck. Besides, she didn't have the heart to make him go through it all again. Wanting to tease him a little she decided to ask him, just to see the look on his face.

"How do you feel about doing it all again? Now that Ruby's gone our house is going to feel very quiet." He knew she was joking, but he really did pale at that, and his eyes narrowed as Hannah smirked in amusement.

" _No_ , never again. The quiet will be a blessed relief after the past eleven years. She was loud from the very beginning. Besides, I can think of a few things that may fill up our free time in an _empty_ house."

"Hmm…we still have a few hours before you have to be there to welcome the students back…unless you're getting tired of me?" His bright eyes bored into hers happily, and despite being in a public space, he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips before whispering sultrily in her ear.

"I've told you before, Hannah Potter. When it comes to you, _too much is never enough_."

Finite Incantatem

A/N For those of you who have been following chapter by chapter - I have now updated/edited and added a lot of content to the rest of the story, so it is now much fuller than it was when I began this fic a year and a half ago (where does all the time go?)

 **A really big thank you to those of you who read all the way to the end, especially those of you who took time out of your day to review! For those of you who cheated and skipped bits...it's OK I forgive you. We've all been there. An extra special thanks and a really big hug is owed to my real life friend ShadowsWalking for her invaluable advice and assistance! :)**

I would be very grateful for constructive criticism at this point as I consider whether or not to begin another project! Any reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated, even if they are negative. Just so long as you have the balls to sign it and not cowardly post anonymously ;)


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